


Until the Sky Falls (The Master Vocalist Series)

by ThePiesEndure



Series: The Guild Universe [2]
Category: Eskimo Joe, Good Charlotte, Simple Plan (Band), The Madden Brothers
Genre: F/M, slave verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-09 19:27:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 104,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4361393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePiesEndure/pseuds/ThePiesEndure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life after being released should be free and easy for Marly, but she finds out that it isn't going to be that easy.  Pierre is hiding something from her.  Something that will change the course of her life irrevocably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Setting the scene

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to The Master Vocalist

_**Monday 5th December, 2005**_  
  
_**Bouvier Apartment**_  
  
_**11:30 PM**_  
  
_*** Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
_“Master…help me…” I moan searing pain jolting through my body. I writhe against the restraints on my wrists as I feel the burning lick of the whip against my back. I whine in desperation, body tensing, waiting for the lash to come down once more. I feel a rush of air close to my groin and just as the flogger connects…_  
  
“Marly…Marly…wake up,  _Cherie_ , wake up…” A strong, yet gentle hand shook my shoulder. “Hun…” His deep voice roused me from my dream and I whimpered as my eyelids flickered open.  
  
“Pierre.” I blinked blearily gazing into soft brown eyes. He smiled kindly and gently stroked my cheek. Then he pressed his lips to my forehead. I breathed in slow, letting it out in a rush.  
  
“It’s just a dream…” Pierre murmured reassuringly.  
  
I leaned into his chest and closed my eyes tight. “It was so real…” I trembled.  
  
He rubbed my side slowly, massaging his strong digits into the tight muscles. I relaxed at his touch and sighed opening my eyes again to look up at him. His dark eyes were warm, soft.  
  
I looked down but he caught hold of my chin and tilted it back up. “Don’t look down, you don’t have to do that anymore.”  
  
I felt my cheeks go pink. Swallowing hard, I shifted so my back was pressed against his firm chest. That way I didn’t have to look directly into his face.  
  
Pierre sighed above me. “Little one…” His deep voice sounded tired.  
  
“I’m sorry, Pierre…I just…I’m still not used to all this.”  
  
“I know.” He heaved his body over so he was facing me his left leg resting over mine. He cradled my cheek in his large hand. “Look at me.”  
  
I obediently lifted my eyes to his. Even though I was no longer, legally a submissive I still reacted in the way I was used to.  
  
Pierre smiled at my compliance. “Marly, you don’t have to be so quick to react…hun you’re not a sub…”  
  
“I know that,” I laughed. “Guess it’s just a habit…”  
  
He stroked my cheek lightly. “Yeah? Well…I must admit…I do like it,” Pierre grinned then kissed me softly on the mouth. “Go back to sleep…”  
  
I smirked slightly deciding to test the waters, as was my wont now that I was no longer a slave. “No. Don’t want to.”  
  
Pierre chuckled and nuzzled into my neck causing laughter to bubble up inside me. His shorn hair rubbed against my delicate skin and I moaned softly.  
  
“Pierre…don’t do that…”  
  
“Then go to sleep.” I could detect a hint of command in his voice. Even Pierre was still getting used to the idea that I no longer ‘belonged’ to him, at least in the original sense. After all, it had only been several months since he signed the papers procuring my freedom. I shivered at his tone and looked into his eyes.  
  
He smiled. “You’ll be bloody tired tomorrow if you don’t…”  
  
I giggled. That brought a frown to Pierre’s face and I abruptly stopped and lowered my eyes.  
  
“Marly…”  
  
“Sorry…going to sleep,” I whispered as I shuffled closer against him and closed my eyes. His deep chuckle was the last sound to reach my ears as I drifted off to sleep.  
  
_**Comeau Residence**_  
  
**_Tuesday 6th 11 AM_**  
  
“Pierre. What are you doing?”  
  
I was seated on the lounge in Chuck’s basement. Pierre was stomping around the room trying to find something. Chuck was perched at his drum kit watching his friend with a bemused expression on his face.  
  
Pierre directed a scowl his way. “You said you had some files that belonged to me.” He nodded in my direction. “Concerning her release.”  
  
Chuck glanced at me; I smiled. He nodded then looked back at Pierre. “Try the filing cabinet.”  
  
He did; it was stuck. He grunted as he heaved at the top drawer then gasped as it popped open sending him sprawling across the floor.  
  
“ _Fuck_ …” He growled and pushed back to his feet and gingerly rubbed at the back of his neck as he riffled through the files.  
  
Chuck was laughing. “Man, I’m sorry…I really should oil the mechanism on that drawer, eh?”  
  
Pierre flipped him the bird as he finally found what he was looking for. “Humph…coulda killed myself…” He clasped the file in his hand and came over to sit next to me.  
  
“What’s that, Pierre?”  
  
“This is the formal documentation of your freedom…need to get the final signature from The Master. Oh, by the way, did I tell you that Chuck actually lodged the initial application?”  
  
I shook my head. He smiled gently at me. “Well, he did. Saw the error of his ways and offered to do it.”  
  
Chuck snorted. “Only because you asked so nicely.”  
  
Pierre rolled his eyes. “You owed me.”  
  
Chuck shook his head and stood up, joining us on the lounge. “No. I owed, Marly.”  
  
I blushed slightly at that and lowered my eyes to the floor.  
  
“Sweet Pea…” Pierre brushed a hand caressingly over my cheek.  
  
I lifted my gaze. “Sorry…habit…”  
  
“You’ll get used to it,” Chuck said, then he groaned. “Speaking of which…when are the others going to get here? I am so not used to doing nothing…”  
  
I giggled. “You’ll be on tour again before you know it.”  
  
Pierre wrapped an arm around my waist, absently rubbing my hip as he added his two cents worth. “Since when do you do nothing? You’ve been scribbling in that god damned notebook for ages…”  
  
“Yeah? Well, someone has to keep track of the ideas you come up with.”  
  
Pierre blinked. I giggled again. Shaking his head, Chuck closed his eyes. I observed him for a moment then turned to snuggle against Pierre’s chest. He lifted a hand and rested it softly in my hair and we remained comfortable in the relative silence of the basement, knowing that once the others arrived there would be no peace or quiet.  


_**Montreal S &M Training Centre**_  
  
_**Friday 9th 6 PM**_  
  
Jake Angel stared grimly at the file lying open on his desk. Pierre and I stood in front of him, waiting in silence for him to speak.  
  
Finally, he sighed and looked at us. “I’m going to be breaking so many rules if I sign this document.”  
  
Pierre growled low in his throat. “I had every right to free her. In fact she is already free now…this is just some stupid bureaucratic shit that we have to go through.”  
  
“I am not disputing that, Pierre. But the channels you have gone through to get here have not been entirely legal.”  
  
“I don’t care. I promised I would do this, regardless.”  
  
“You do realise you should have lodged the application personally.”  
  
I remained silent throughout the exchange listening carefully.  
  
“Chuck owed me,” Pierre snapped irritably.  
  
Jake smiled faintly at that. “No. I don’t think so. He owed no one anything. He did what he thought was right at the time.”  
  
“I forgave him for that.”  
  
Jake lifted an eyebrow then looked at me. “What about you, little one? Did you forgive, Charles?”  
  
I nodded. “Yes, I did.”  
  
Jake took up his pen and placed it to the official writ. “Well and good.” I watched, my heart pounding as he signed the document with a little flourish. “There.”  
  
Jake lifted the page and blew on it then slid the sheet back into the file and handed it to Pierre. “You’re all set.” He turned his warm gaze to me. “Good luck with your future endeavours. I believe you’ll go far.”  
  
Hearing those words from the man who had trained me to be a slave was surprising but also gave me a sense of hopefulness. I felt I could move mountains.  
  
Pierre thanked Jake before taking me by the hand. “Come on, Marlz…let’s go home…”


	2. Privilege

_**Monday 12th March 2007  
  
Montreal  
  
Bouvier Apartment  
  
6 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
 _“The price of domestic chattel has risen 50% in the last two years and hence for many it has not become financially feasible to keep owning such property…”_  
  
Pierre was watching the news as I sat at the kitchen bench studying.  
  
Glancing up as the reporter drivelled on I smirked slightly. “Aren’t you glad you don’t own me anymore?”  
  
He looked over at me and snorted. “I could still afford to. I’m in a band, remember?”  
  
Rolling my eyes, I closed my textbook and went to join him on the lounge. He slid an arm round my waist and pulled me close.  
  
“Yeah, but you can use that money for more important stuff.”  
  
“Like?” Pierre raised an eyebrow at me.  
  
I shrugged. “A hair cut.”  
  
His expression darkened and I held up a hand in defence. “I was just saying…”  
  
Pierre looked back at the television before responding. “I like my hair like this.”  
  
‘This’ was the longish, windswept style that he had had for the past few months, since the end of 2006. Laughing I reached up and ran my fingers through the silky strands.  
  
“So do I,” I reassured him as I leaned my head against his shoulder.  
  
He glanced at me and grinned faintly then turned back to the television frowning. “Y’know, you weren’t domestic chattel. You were a slave.” Pierre paused, “A sub…”  
  
I blinked. “Isn’t that the same thing?”  
  
“No. You didn’t do menial tasks…y’know, cleaning, cooking…”  
  
I snorted. “I fixed your socks…picked up after you…”  
  
“That’s more like a mother than a domestic servant.”  
  
“Heh…servants get paid.”  
  
“That’s true. But you still weren’t domestic chattel…”  
  
“I wasn’t your mother,” I grinned.  
  
“No…you were my…slave…” His voice was tight. I leaned my head against his shoulder and rested a hand on his right bicep, rubbing slowly. He relaxed beneath my touch and let his breath out in a soft sigh. When he next spoke, his tone was a lot calmer. “The general population don’t know the difference though. And I’m assuming the stats the journo is using include the slaves and submissives that are provided by the Guild.”  
  
I nodded against his shoulder. He lifted a hand and gently stroked my hair. Then he leaned forward and grabbed the remote flicking absently through the channels.  
  
I silently observed Pierre as he randomly surfed the channels. He looked tired. His dark eyes were dim; he had five days growth on his face, growing especially thick on his jaw. His shirt and pants were ruffled, unironed. I had offered to press them for him but he had declined.  
  
Sure, Chuck had been getting on his case about writing for the third album, but it wasn’t just that. The Guild of Dominants and Submissives (formerly known as the Montreal S&M Training Centre) had filed a legal complaint against Pierre because he had admitted his love for me before he had freed me. So, he was in the process of defending his position and mine.  
  
I had no idea what the consequences would be if he lost. Pierre refused to tell me. Told me I shouldn’t let it concern me. That was the Dominant in him speaking and the submissive in me obeyed without question. Yet, the newly liberated woman I had become demanded answers.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
“Has there…uh, been any more progress in the case…?”  
  
Pierre shifted so he was facing me. The expression on his face had changed and was decidedly unpleasant. His eyes were black, mouth drawn in a tight line. A nerve ticked in his forehead. The last time I remembered that look being directed at me was a long time ago.  
  
I swallowed hard and instantly backed down. “I’m sorry…”  
  
“Really? How many times do I have to tell you not to worry about that?”  
  
I looked down and, unlike his usual response that was to remind me that I didn’t have to do that anymore, this time he didn’t correct me.  
  
“Pierre, I’m sorry.”  
  
He was silent for a long while as if he was gauging the sincerity of my apology. I chanced a look at his face; his expression hadn’t changed. It was as forbidding as I remembered from my early days as his slave. A shiver raced down my spine.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
He stood up abruptly and strode from the living room, leaving me alone to ponder his rapid change of mood. Gazing non-plussed at the spot on the lounge that he had vacated I tried to make sense of what had just happened.  
  
Over the past few months, Pierre’s attitude toward me had become more distant than usual. He was still affectionate with me, definitely a lot more than when I had been his property. But, his moods had begun to gain certain unpredictability. He had lost his temper with me on several occasions, the majority of cases having no visible cause.  
  
I had no idea why this was happening except that perhaps the stress being generated by the legal battle and the ever pressing album deadline were getting to him.  
  
After sitting for several long minutes thoughts rampaging through my mind, I climbed to my feet and followed him; he’d gone into the bedroom. Peering round the doorframe, I could just see the outline of Pierre’s large figure seated on the edge of the bed. His broad shoulders were hunched up, head bowed resting in his hands.  
  
Tension screamed from every line of his body and an aura of inapproachability cloaked him. Still, I tiptoed into the room and perched warily on the end of the bed, allowing the silence to stretch between us. Just waiting.  
  
“Get out.” Pierre’s voice was so quiet when he finally spoke that I almost didn’t hear him.  
  
“What?” My own voice seemed to echo in the room. He turned his head toward me. In the dark, I couldn’t read his expression.  
  
Yet, when he spoke again the coldness of his tone was enough to make me tremble. “I said, get out.”  
  
I blinked. “Pierre…”  
  
“Don’t. Just leave me alone, Marly.” Tightly controlled, Pierre’s voice revealed none of his emotions.  
  
Swallowing, I stood away from the bed. “Um…I’ll just go and make dinner, shall I?”  
  
He didn’t reply, looking back at the floor. I hesitated a moment longer before turning and walking out of the room.  
  
Half an hour later as I was placing the finishing touches to the evening meal, Pierre resurfaced from the bedroom. He glanced coolly at the meal I had prepared and then without saying a word to me lifted his plate and sat at the table. Taking my own plate, I sat opposite him and picked at the food, my appetite rapidly waning.  
  
I kept glancing at Pierre as I pushed my food around on the plate. He didn’t look back, keeping his eyes on the piece of steak that he was methodically working his way through. Cutting off a small piece, putting it in his mouth and slowly chewing. Eventually Pierre’s silence got to me, so thrusting the plate away from me I stood up, grabbed my textbook, and went to curl up on the couch.  
  
Ever since my freedom, I had undertaken a college course on Education and Sociology. I wanted to become a teacher. Of course, I knew I was a long way off even thinking of getting a career. My position in society was still extremely low and I had no qualifications. As a former submissive, I had no standing in the eyes of the public. The stigma of having been someone’s property still overshadowed the person I was.  
  
Pierre had been aiding me in my pursuit of gaining more status; the fact that he was in a famous band helped a little. But because of my former status, or lack thereof, many did not accept that I had any privilege. Obviously the Guild were one party that could not, would not, accept that I had the right to begin to climb the social ladder.  
  
Sucking on my bottom lip I flipped open the textbook to the chapter on ‘Social Justice and Social Class’. The concept of class was alien to me. As a former submissive, all I had ever known was that I was ‘classless’. I could neither go up nor down the social ladder; I was already below the bottom most rung and I had had no right to go up the ladder. Not unless Pierre had opted to push me up it. And the idea of social justice was unknown to me.  
  
Reading the text highlighted for me the fact that I had been completely dominated, external forces had controlled my whole life and I had had no say in the way I lived it. I definitely never had any opportunity to ‘better’ myself. The prospect of an education was laughable. After all, I had not been anyone’s equal.  
  
Now that I was free, the choice of getting an education had finally been laid out in front of me and Pierre had insisted I take the chance. Yet, there were those who still believed that it wasn’t right that I pursue a career. I was still a sub in their eyes. And nothing would change that. Because to them I had no privilege. I laughed bitterly at that thought.  
  
James doesn’t think that…he believes that everyone is born with privilege…the things that a person brings to the world when they’re born…  
  
James was the professor taking the sociology classes. He inspired me. Smiling, I remembered the class from this morning. He had been talking about how everyone deserved an education, and that everyone should be respected no matter what their backgrounds were. I agreed wholeheartedly. That’s what I wanted. To be respected.  
  
Yawning, I went to turn the page when I felt the book removed from my grasp. Frowning I glanced up. “Pierre, what are you doing?”  
  
Pierre loomed above me a deep scowl set on his face. He tucked the book under his arm and motioned to the bedroom. “Go to bed.”  
  
I blinked at him. “Is that an order, Pierre?”  
  
For a split second, he just stared at me. Then he sighed heavily and shook his head. “No, Hun… you were yawning, which means you must be tired, so you should go to bed.”  
  
I felt like arguing with him and so I grumbled in reply. “Sure sounds like an order to me. What ever happened to your whole…‘you’re not a sub’ spiel?”  
  
Pierre’s jaw tightened. “Marly.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s my name,” Muttering I pushed up from the sofa. “Glad you haven’t forgotten it.” He glared coldly at me. I quailed. “Alright…um…can I have my book back?” I spoke softly.  
  
Pierre shook his head and placed it on the coffee table. “You can read it tomorrow. Go to bed.”  
  
I shook my head realising not for the first time that I didn’t have to obey. “No. I’m not tired, Pierre.”  
  
I sat down again and made to grab my textbook. Pierre got to it first slamming his palm down on it.  
  
I groaned in protest. “Come on, please?” I tugged at it; he wouldn’t budge. I grabbed his arm and pulled, he didn’t move an inch. The muscles in his arm were as hard as iron. “Pierre…” He refused to give in. “Damn you, Pierre. Give me a reason, will you.”  
  
Pierre, keeping the pressure against the book, stared straight at me. “You’re going to need your sleep, little one.” He still called me that even though I was now 21 years of age.  
  
Shaking my head in frustration, I glowered at him. “Why?”  
  
He slumped on the lounge next to me, removing his hand from the book and taking hold of my hands in his own. “You asked about the case, before.”  
  
I nodded slowly wondering what he was getting at.  
  
Pierre took a deep breath before speaking again, carefully considering the words he chose. “It’s not going as well as I anticipated…the council wants me to bring you into the Guild before they will make any decisions.”  
  
I shivered, judging by the seriousness in his eyes that this was not a good thing.  
  
“When?” I whispered.  
  
Pierre lifted a hand to cradle my cheek, stroking the corner of my mouth with his thumb.  
  
He was slow to respond, but I remained silent, patiently waiting. “Tomorrow.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I know.” His tone was apologetic. “I was upset by the short notice, but we don’t have a choice.”  
  
I bowed my head and trembled. “What’s going to happen, Pierre?” The shaking of my voice scared me.  
  
I hadn’t been afraid in a long time. Shuddering I glanced up into Pierre’s dark eyes. He shrugged then leaned closer resting his forehead against mine.  
  
The corners of his mouth lifted in a gentle smile and his voice softened. “No matter what happens…understand you can trust me.”  
  
I nodded and closed my eyes leaning into him. Pierre wrapped his arms firmly around me and slowly rocked me against his chest. That was the one thing I could always depend on. My faith in Pierre would never waver. I had always trusted him. Even during the latter years of my life as his slave, even after the terrible things that had happened, I had known that he wouldn’t let me down.  
  
Sighing, I snuggled closer to him. He smiled against my hair, and shifting he scooped me up in his arms and stood, carrying me into our room. Laying me down on the bed, he sat on the edge and smoothed his palm over the blanket.  
  
I rolled onto my side and peered at him. “Pierre?”  
  
“Hmmm…”  
  
“Love you…” I murmured.  
  
He smiled. “ _Aussi_.”  
  
Pierre touched the backs of his fingers to my cheek, caressing lightly. I closed my eyes and let my cheek rest on the pillow.  
  
He continued to move his fingers across my skin then he sighed. “You’d better get ready for bed…”  
  
Opening my eyes, I smirked at him. “Well, I could go to bed without brushing my teeth…but then you might complain about my breath.”  
  
Pierre chuckled. “Right. Don’t want that.”  
  
I laughed and sat up. He hugged me.  
  
Smirking I pried his arms away from me. “Wait there, lover boy…I’ll be right back.”  
  
Pierre pretended to pout. I shook my head as I went into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.  
  
When I came back out, Pierre was lying on the bed in only his boxers. His eyes were closed, chest steadily rising and falling at each quiet breath. As I gazed at his powerful frame sprawled over the bed, I thought, not for the first time, how lucky I was to have him in my life. Breathing in deep, I moved toward the bed. His eyes flickered open as I approached. Expression sombre he waited as I climbed in next to him.  
  
Leaning close, I kissed him on the mouth. He grinned against my lips and held my face in his large hands as he parted his own and flicked his tongue against mine. I sighed happily. Then settling beside Pierre I let out a sigh of content as he slid an arm around me and turned to press his lips to my shoulder.  
  
“Go to sleep…” his breath tickled my skin as he spoke.  
  
Turning so I could tuck my cheek against his chest, I closed my eyes and relaxed in the comfort of his closeness. He tangled his fingers in my hair and we both fell asleep wrapped in each other’s embrace.  
  
 _ ***Pierre’s p.o.v***_  
  
Something woke me. Eyes snapping open I lay staring up at the white blades of the ceiling fan. It whirred slowly above my head. Frowning I turned my head to the side. Marly lay with her head nestled in the hollow of my shoulder, her breaths coming slow and steady. Strands of her long black hair splayed out over my skin. Carefully, so as not to wake her, I shifted and sat up. Sheets wrapped around my legs, I realised that I had a serious hard-on. It was obvious, tenting my boxers.  
  
 _Fuck…gotta do something about this…_  Growling deep in my throat I reached down and gripped my cock through my boxers. Firmly taking hold between my thumb and index finger, I stroked myself using the friction of cotton against the sensitive flesh to my advantage. Balls tightening I grunted as I quickly came.  
  
Catching my breath after the exertion, my heart still racing, I wondered what the hell had woken me. It hadn’t been my arousal; I knew this because I was still wide-awake. Blinking I dragged a hand over my face.  
  
 _Shit…should shave…_ I glanced at the clock radio on the bedside table.  _God damn…2 AM?_  
  
I groaned and fell back on the bed with a little thud. A soft whimper from my left reminded me that I wasn’t the only person in the bed. Rolling on my side, I let my gaze fall on Marly’s slumbering form.  
  
 _Damn she looks so cute when she’s sleeping_ …I crooked a finger and tenderly stroked her cheek. She shifted and nuzzled against my hand without waking.  
  
I moved closer to her tracing a hand down her side, examining the peaceful expression on her face as she slept. She looked as if she had not a single care in the world. And for her that was mostly true.  
  
Ever since I busted my ass to free her, Marly’s everyday life had been basically easy. I was glad she’d taken my advice and enrolled in a course at college. No one at the college knew her or her past and therefore they didn’t judge her. Unlike the assholes at the Guild.  
  
Not Jake. He’s a good guy. I’m talking about the fucking executives who have no personal connection to any of the former subs and make up rules that are so outdated that I don’t even think they existed in medieval times. People like them made me force the change of policy in 2005. But that was two years ago now and it’s as if they’re going backwards.  
  
I hate it. Hate them. Sure, hatred’s a powerful emotion, and Marly wouldn’t approve. But, I’m a hot-blooded French Canadian man…and when my blood gets up…better watch out.  
  
The look of fear in her eyes when I had told her what the Guild was demanding made me fucking mad. I never wanted to see her scared of anything. Never wanted her to fear the way she had when they’d taken her from me that one time. Just the thought of that boiled the blood in my veins.  
  
Emitting a low growl, I slid my arms protectively around her small body. She didn’t wake but she did press harder into me, as if even in her sleep she knew I was holding her.  
  
It hasn’t been easy for Marly to adjust to being free. She still looked to me, even now sometimes, to tell her what to do. I could easily have abused the position I was put in during her adjustment stage. I didn’t. However, after two years I find myself still reverting to my Dominant persona, especially if I’m frustrated about an issue I have little control over.  
  
Marly deals with it. Not that I give her much choice. Yeah, I know she’s not a sub anymore…but her nature is still submissive…and mine is still domineering…we play off each other well and it doesn’t interfere with the way we live our lives. It complements it.  
  
She loves me. I love her. What more could we want? Sometimes though, I can be quite cruel to her. Like earlier last night when I’d told her to leave me alone. I guess you could say that I really had no reason to say that; yet, I do feel justified in saying that if I hadn’t I would probably have done something that I’d later regret. I’d sensed her confusion though, and that worried me.  
  
Like I think I’ve already mentioned, I never want her to be afraid. Not of anything, definitely not of me. But still, sometimes…shit happens. Why? I don’t know. It just does.  
  
Yawning, I let that thought hang in the air as I snuggled closer, smiling against her hair as I finally fell asleep.


	3. This ain't a scene

_**Tuesday 13th March, 2007  
  
Montreal City Stadium  
  
Sound check  
  
4 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
“Hey, Marly! Have you seen David?”  
  
“Oh, Seb. Nope, I haven’t. Hasn’t he shown up?”  
  
I was standing in the middle of a pile of rubbish in the Simple Plan dressing room, attempting to find Pierre’s guitar pick. He vehemently insisted that he’d dropped it on his way into the dressing room. I’d believe that too.  
  
Pierre had a habit of losing things, especially if he needed them at the time. Just this morning when we had to go to the Guild to plead my case Pierre had misplaced my file. We had spent half an hour looking for it. Eventually Pierre had found it under the bed; it had fallen down the backboard. But, by the time he had it in his hands he was so frustrated that he was almost jumping out of his skin.  
  
We had gone to the Guild with Pierre in such a state of agitation that when we had fronted the panel they automatically adjourned the case for another day. They weren’t going to deal with Pierre until he had calmed down. I really couldn’t blame them.  
  
Arriving at MC Stadium for the band’s sound check, Pierre had still been burning with furious energy. He’d stomped around the dressing room annoying the hell out of Chuck who had been trying to get everyone ready. Once Pierre had gone to set his levels I was able to relax.  
  
Sighing, I looked at Seb as he shook his head in response to my question.  
  
“Nope. Don’t know where he is. Damn. Chuck’s gonna be pissed.”  
  
I smirked. “He probably slept in.”  
  
“It’s 4 PM, Marlz.”  
  
“I know,” I giggled.  
  
Seb raised his eyebrows.  
  
“Do you ever sleep in that late?”  
  
I snorted. “If Pierre keeps me up all night.”  
  
“That doesn’t count.”  
  
“Really? Do you even know what David does all night?”  
  
Seb rolled his eyes.  
  
“Probably don’t want to know.”  
  
I grinned then gave a small squeal of triumph.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Found it!” I pounced on a small triangle of yellow and black plastic buried beneath the scraps of paper sprawled across the floor.  
  
Seb stared incredulously as I sprang up and dashed out of the dressing room, clutching the pick in my fist. I raced down the long corridor passing Jeff and Benji Madden as I made my way to the area directly behind the stage. The heavily tattooed Good Charlotte bassist blinked.  
  
“What’s her deal?”  
  
The other man shrugged then called out after me in question.  
  
“Marly?”  
  
I waved back at them both.  
  
“Found Pierre’s pick!”  
  
The two men blinked after me but I didn’t notice as I dashed through the backstage door almost colliding with Patrick.  
  
“Whoa there, Marlz…what’s the rush?” He caught hold of my shoulder with one hand; the other was clutching a green Role Model top.  
  
I giggled. “Where’s Pierre?”  
  
Pat lifted an eyebrow and asked, “Why?”  
  
I giggled again and waved the yellow pick in his face.  
  
“I found his pick.”  
  
Hazel eyes stared at me in bemusement. He was saved though by the man himself as he grabbed me from behind.  
  
“Marly. What  _are_  you doing?”  
  
Grinning I spun in Pierre’s arms and looked directly into his eyes.  
  
“Look what I found.” With a flourish, I held his guitar pick in his face. He grabbed it, curling strong fingers around my own. My breath escaped me at the sudden contact. Pierre always had that effect on me. It was exhilarating. He smiled at the look in my eyes.  
  
“Thanks, Sweet Pea.”  
  
I smiled shyly and leaned my forehead against his chest. Then, stepping away, I cast my eyes around the stadium.  
  
“How many bands are playing tonight?”  
  
Simple Plan had been invited to headline at the annual Montreal Charity Rock Festival that raised monies for disadvantaged kids. The band had set up a foundation that ran on the same principles as the Charity itself. I knew that Good Charlotte would be performing. Pierre rubbed his jaw thoughtfully.  
  
“I’m not exactly sure. Quite a few, I should think. You know GC are playing.”  
  
Nodding I seated myself on one of the amps. Pierre stood between my legs and absently stroked my thighs as he tried to think who else was going to be there.  
  
“Hmmm…My Chemical Romance. The Summer Obsession…Eskimo Joe, they’re an Australian band…”  
  
Smiling, I was no longer listening to the words he was saying. Instead, I was leaning with my cheek resting against him and I could feel the rumble of his voice vibrating deep in his chest. His hand stopped moving on my leg and moved to cradle my face.  
  
“Sweetling…are you listening to me?”  
  
“Huh?” I peered up at him. A crooked grin lit up his features.  
  
“Never mind, love. Look, I need to go set the rest of my levels. I’ll talk to you after, okay?”  
  
I gazed solemnly back at him.  
  
“Alright…um…one thing?”  
  
“ _Oui_?”  
  
“When are we scheduled to go back to the Guild?”  
  
Pierre closed his eyes and harshly exhaled.  
  
“Tomorrow. I’m sorry. I know you’d rather not go at all.”  
  
Shaking my head, I sighed.  
  
“Like you said, we don’t have much choice…” I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “We’ll worry ‘bout that tomorrow…just enjoy yourself tonight.”  
  
Pierre chuckled. “I aim to do exactly that.”  
  
“Good. I’ll let you finish here…see you soon.”  
  
I slid off the amp and, after hugging Pierre hard around the waist, wandered away backstage. A smile came to my lips as the sounds of Pierre tuning his acoustic echoed around the empty stadium. Finding a quiet corner, I sat down and closed my eyes.  
  
 _Little rest won’t hurt…just for a few minutes…_  
  
 _ ***Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Marly was asleep. That was the first thing I noticed when I found her sitting in a corner of the large backstage area. For a moment, I just stood observing her. She looked so small and fragile when she slept. All her defences came down and I could see her vulnerability. She was tough. But she was also at times, defenceless. It made me want to protect her.  
  
Still clutching my acoustic, I padded closer and gingerly sat beside her, propping the guitar in my lap. Slowly, I began to pluck at the strings, playing a few chords. Marly stirred, liquid brown eyes slitting open.  
  
“That sounds nice…” she murmured. I smirked.  
  
“Yeah, it’s nothing really…”  
  
She sat up and shifted her small body against mine. Smiling at her, I continued to strum. She leaned her head against my shoulder and sighed.  
  
“You okay, hun?” I asked quietly. Glancing up at me, Marly thought for a moment before responding.  
  
“I guess I’m a little nervous about tomorrow…”  
  
“Yeah? I must admit I am too.”  
  
I didn’t particularly like telling her that. I guess having her around has softened me up a bit. But that really doesn’t make much sense. She’s been with me since I was 16. But I  _was_  an asshole back then. To her at least. Heh.  
  
Maybe I’m not as macho as I like to think I am. Riiiight…I’m definitely not, what’s that word? Effemi…effeminate. That’s more David’s forte. The guy wears more makeup thanMarly does. It’s bloody hilarious actually. But then I don’t like girls who wear too much make up anyway…makes them look like clowns. I told Marly that once and she laughed at me. Boy did I give it to her. Yeah, she was still my…anyway.  
  
I looked down at the strings of my acoustic as she had fallen silent next to me. As I began plucking aimlessly at the strings, we remained sitting quietly for some time until Marly broke the silence, shifting against my side.  
  
“Play me something,” her voice was so soft I almost didn’t catch what she said. I tilted my head and murmured back to her.  
  
“Hmmm? What you want to hear?”  
  
“Don’t mind.”  
  
Tapping the calloused pads of my fingers against the strings I thought for a moment. Then I smiled as a song came to mind. Before I began to play though, I turned to Marly and rested a hand gently on her face.  
  
“Marlz?”  
  
She looked at me a quizzical expression in her eyes. I found my gaze drawn to her lips, wanted to kiss them. Shaking my head slightly I sighed.  
  
“ _Je taime_ …”  
  
“ _Aussi_ …” She whispered lifting a hand to squeeze mine. Then she giggled.  
  
“So, are you going to play me something?”  
  
Nodding, I settled next to her again cradling my acoustic in my arms as I began to play and sing.  
  
 _“Sometimes I feel the fear of  
  
Uncertainty stinging clear  
  
And I can’t help but ask myself how much  
  
I let the fear take the wheel and steer  
  
It’s driven me before  
  
And it seems to have  
  
A vague haunting mass appeal  
  
But lately I’m beginning to find that  
  
I should be the one behind the wheel  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
With open arms and open eyes, yeah  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
I’ll be there…  
  
So if I decide to waiver  
  
My chance to be one of the hive  
  
Will I choose water over wine?  
  
And hold my own and drive  
  
Oh oh oooh…  
  
It’s driven me before  
  
And it seems to be the way  
  
That everyone else gets around  
  
Lately I’m beginning to find that  
  
When I drive myself my light is found  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
With open arms and open eyes, yeah  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
I’ll be there…  
  
Would you choose water over wine?  
  
Hold the wheel and drive…  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
With open arms and open eyes, yeah  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
I’ll be there…”  
  
© Drive - Incubus_  
  
I trailed off and glanced sideways at her. Marly was gazing at me tears in her eyes. Before I could ask her what was wrong, she threw her arms tight around my neck and buried her face against my shoulder. Putting my guitar aside, I wrapped my arms strongly around her.  
  
Great heaving sobs were coming from her. I just held her. I never could quite figure out what to do if she burst into tears. They say a hug sometimes is the best thing one can do. So when in doubt…give someone a hug, I guess. Works for me.  
  
I cupped her head in my hand stroking slowly. She muttered against my chest, bunching her fists in the material of the black collared shirt I was wearing. In contrast, she was wearing a white halter neck top and a short denim skirt. She looked pretty damn hot in it. But then she looked hot in anything.  
  
Meanwhile I looked like a fucking dag with my pants hanging so low that it looked like I had no ass. Marly often complained about that. But I just ignored it. Continuing to just hold her, I began to hum the song once more.  
  
“Hey, we should so add that song to our set, what is it?”  
  
I whipped my head around to see Chuck approaching. Marly lifted her head from my shoulder and glanced at him as he came to a stop in front of us. She wiped quickly at her face, brushing away her tears before replying.  
  
“It’s called ‘Drive’. Um…Incubus did it…didn’t they?” She looked to me for confirmation. Her knowledge of music originally came from me. I nodded faintly, massaging the back of her neck. Chuck scratched his jaw.  
  
“I’ve never heard it.”  
  
I laughed. “What hole have you been living in?”  
  
“Obviously the one where that song was never played.”  
  
“Funny.”  
  
“Yeah, I thought so. Anyway, we’re going to go grab something to eat before the gig. You gonna come?”  
  
I cast a look at Marly who was still leaning against me. She nodded slightly.  
  
“I’m hungry…”  
  
My stomach grumbled and I smirked.  
  
“Me too. Count us in.”  
  
I eased onto my feet helping Marly up next to me. She clutched onto my arm her small hand curved around my left bicep. I liked the thought that she could depend on my strength to protect her. At least for now.  
  
I still, even now that it has been a few years, feel fucking guilty about what had happened when she was still my slave. Feeling helpless is something I never want to go through again. It’s the fucking worst feeling, ever. I didn’t protect her that time; didn’t prevent her from getting hurt. I almost lost her. Never again. I made my promises; I would never let anything like that ever happen again.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
“Huh?” Blinking I looked down at her. Marly smiled softly up at me.  
  
“Are we going?”  
  
“Oh, right…of course. Food.”  
  
I felt a little foolish. I must look like an idiot just standing there with a blank look on my face. But that’s what happens when I start thinking, I can’t walk and think at the same time. Guess it’s true guys can’t do more than one thing at a time.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
I did it again, didn’t I? Chuckling, I tucked Marly’s arm beneath mine and proceeded to head to the exit. She wanted to know what was so funny. I just grinned and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead.  
  
“Nothing…just nothing.”  
  
 _ **Downtown Café  
  
5:15 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
“How many beans are in that jar, do you think.”  
  
David, who had finally materialised explaining to Chuck that he had lost his watch and so hadn’t known what time it was, was leaning on the table pointing toward the row of coffee jars on the shelf behind the counter. Kav Temperley, of Eskimo Joe, was standing next to him a bemused expression on his face. Pierre was sitting on a stool close by watching on in amusement.  
  
“Who cares?” He snorted. David rolled his eyes toward him.  
  
“I do.”  
  
I looked up from the slice of chocolate cake Pierre had insisted I eat. Don’t ask me why. I guess it’s his way of spoiling me, or something. Not that I’m complaining. I love chocolate cake. Anyway, hearing David’s comment I giggled and chimed in.  
  
“Really? I didn’t think that the amount of beans mattered. It’s the quality, right?”  
  
“No the number is important, Marlz. Super important.”  
  
I rolled my eyes. Ever since my freedom, I’d become more confident around the rest of the band members, constantly joining in with the joking and mucking around. Especially if it involved David’s brand of humour. He always made me laugh.  
  
Kav glanced toward me.  
  
“Does he always talk about random shit like this?”  
  
“Yeah, typical David behaviour.”  
  
Pierre stood up and joined me draping his arms round my waist.  
  
“You love it though.”  
  
“I love you more…”  
  
Tilting my head, I sighed softly as his mouth came down over mine in the gentlest of kisses. The effect was ruined slightly as the roughness of his unshaven jaw tickled my cheek, causing me to giggle. He hadn’t bothered shaving and he looked a little scruffy. Still giggling I managed to deepen the kiss.  
  
“Jesus, you two. Go back home if you’re going to do that.”  
  
Chuck walked behind Pierre whacking him lightly across the back of his head. Pierre growled, lifted his face from mine and pushed the other man away.  
  
“You know…we might just take you up on that, Comeau.” He looked down at me. “You done?” I nodded slightly. “Right, let’s go then.” There was a strange look in Pierre’s dark eyes and a shiver coursed the length of my spine. Chuck sniffed.  
  
“We only have an hour before we have to be back at the stadium.”  
  
“That’s plenty of time for what I’ve got planned.” Pierre’s response was calculated and for some reason, his tone frightened me. Lifting my gaze, I peered questioningly at him. He gazed back at me. “Yes, Marly?”  
  
“What are you planning?”  
  
“Don’t worry, you’ll like it.”  
  
His eyes were dark and the smile on his lips did nothing to reassure me. He didn’t say anything further though, just gently guided me to my feet and steered me toward the entrance. I turned to wave to the others before I was hustled out of the café.  
  
Pierre didn’t speak the entire walk back to the apartment block. His expression, when I chanced a look at his face, was impassive. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. As I’ve already mentioned his moods have been swinging wildly, randomly the past few months. I was worried by it. Almost afraid. I know that he wasn’t intentionally scaring me with his behaviour. But I had been…was conditioned to fear him. Pierre strode along briskly; I almost had to jog to prevent him from dragging me along the footpath.  
  
His grip tightened painfully on my arm as we arrived at the door to our apartment. Normally I would have told him that he was hurting me. He would have immediately released me. And apologised. Yet, this time, I remained silent. There was something in Pierre’s demeanour that seemed to discourage any communication.  
  
Glancing sideways at him, I watched as he fumbled for the key in his pocket, jamming it into the lock and twisting it violently, before practically shoving me across the doormat. Stumbling, I almost fell; Pierre caught me around the waist with his strong right arm as he shut the door behind him. I realised I was shaking. He brought his lips close to my ear and murmured low his voice a rumble in his throat.  
  
“It’s alright, Sweet Pea…I’m not going to do anything bad…”  
  
I actually whimpered. He ran a gentle hand down my side, allowing it to come to rest on my hip, rubbing in little circles. I leaned back against his muscular frame. Pierre smiled against my hair then turned me to face him and backed me up against the wall, trapping me between his arms.  
  
Looking up into Pierre’s eyes the expression in them was feral. I gasped but before I could say anything his mouth crashed down against mine. Attacking my tender lips, sucking and nibbling at my tongue. I moaned and tried to push him way. Seizing my wrists in his large hands, he pushed his hips into mine, pinning me between the wall and his lean body.  
  
He wanted me; I could feel him harden in his pants. And I knew instantly that he would take what he wanted. Pierre always did; he never asked, never had to ask. And I always gave into him. Yes, when I was his slave I didn’t have any choice, anyway. But even now, I always let him take what he wanted. We were both satisfied that way. I moaned as he pulled his mouth away and stared deep into my eyes, maintaining his firm grip on my arms.  
  
“We hafta make this quick, haven’t got much time…”  
  
Pierre let go of one of my wrists to stroke my cheek lightly. I nodded. He took a step back, releasing my other wrist.  
  
“Take off your skirt.” He smiled as I moved to obey.  
  
When it came to our sex-life, I was always submissive in my actions. I needed to be dominated. He understood that and complied.  
  
Once I had removed my skirt, Pierre pushed me back to the wall and made me lean my back against it.  
  
“Don’t move,” he instructed quietly. Then he stepped closer and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of my panties. I trembled.  
  
“Pierre…”  
  
“Don’t talk,” Pierre pressed his lips to mine, effectively silencing me.  
  
I moaned. He pulled back as he drew my panties down over my hips and then down my legs, lifting each foot so he could remove my underwear. Once they were off, he gripped my hips pulling them away from the wall a little, making sure I was propped in a comfortable position.  
  
He nudged my legs apart with his knee, then leaned into me capturing my lips with his as he held me in place. I moaned into his mouth as he began to rub the rough material of his jeans against my naked pussy. The friction was causing a burning sensation below and I tried to move against him. Pierre stopped me, firm hand pushing me back into place.  
  
“You know better than that, love…”  
  
I whimpered in protest. Pierre ignored me, as he slid his hand from my hip to rest on my inner thigh, stroking. Then slowly, excruciatingly so, he moved his hand up, up until just his fingertips were brushing the outer lips of my pussy. I was already beginning to juice. Just having his body so close to mine turned me on. He smirked down at me as he teased the outer lips with his calloused fingertips.  
  
“Please,” I whispered, voice barely audible.  
  
I didn’t move but my heart was racing, breaths quickening. Pierre chuckled low in his throat before plunging his index finger straight up inside me. I gasped, eyes widening in surprise, bucking against him. He instantly thrust me back against the wall, pressing his whole body against mine, pinning me. Trembling I could feel his finger deep inside me slowly moving in and out. Pierre held me immobile as he stroked me from the inside. Placing pressure in all the right places, he built up the pleasure that I was feeling.  
  
I slowly began to rock my hips in rhythm with his finger strokes. Pierre wouldn’t let me move too much keeping constant pressure against my hips with his own; therefore, each time I rocked I rubbed against his cock through his jeans. I could feel it hard, thick and growing as I moved. Moaning I leaned my head back against the wall; I whined as Pierre slid a second finger in my pussy and twisted them so they rubbed against the sensitive patch deep within me.  
  
“Please,” I repeated breathlessly. His eyes met mine, twin sable pools of desire. As he thrust his fingers as deep as he could he murmured low keeping his gaze locked with mine.  
  
“Tell me what you want.”  
  
My pussy walls clenched, unclenched, his fingers but I needed something bigger.  
  
“You…inside me…please…”  
  
Pierre continued to stare into my eyes as he took a step back, keeping his fingers deep inside me as he unbuckled his belt with one hand. Then pushing his pants and boxers down far enough so he could pull out his cock, he grasped it firmly in his hand.  
  
“Is this what you want?”  
  
A whimper was my response. He moved close once more, allowing his rock hard length to press against my thigh. He rubbed it slowly against my inner thigh; I could feel it growing larger as he moved. Trembling I shifted trying to rub against him. He pushed me back again and twisted his fingers hard inside me, eliciting a moan of pain. He instantly stopped and leaned his forehead against mine.  
  
“Is this what you want?” Pierre repeated, voice husky. The head of his dick was now nestled in the outer folds of my pussy.  
  
“Please…” my voice shook in need. He gripped my hips, preventing me from thrusting onto him. Then very slowly he pushed the head inside me. He halted when my pussy walls clenched around the tip, pulsing. He smiled softly and kissed my forehead as he held still. Breathing deep I braced myself, body shivering.  
  
“Pierre…”  
  
He chuckled and then with one huge thrust he was buried to his balls inside me. My back thudded against the wall as he slammed into me, causing me to wince. He didn’t seem to notice as he began to move within me. I could feel every inch of his tumescent member as he pulled out, thrust back in, deep, hard. He was so thick, hard inside me, so big, stretching my pussy walls.  
  
Moaning I wrapped my arms tight around his neck, hanging on as he began to pound me into the wall. Pierre’s grip tightened on my hips as he maintained his powerful thrusts, angling his cock so it rubbed against my clit. Fire burned at the centre of my pleasure, rapidly intensifying.  
  
The swinging buckle of his belt was digging into my left thigh; I thought, vaguely, there would probably be bruising there, later. All conscious thought escaped me as, lifting me up so I had to wrap my legs around his waist, Pierre sped up. The pressure was amazing, my pussy walls contracted, pulsing along his length. His lips were close to my ear and he was whispering.  
  
“So fucking hot…so close…so tight…” At each phrase he pounded into me then drew out, rapidly building both our pleasure until I knew I was about to burst.  
  
“PIERRE!!”  
  
I yelled as my orgasm hit, like an explosion that filled me from the inside out. Pierre growled low, deep, in his throat as my pussy convulsed around his cock. He began to move even faster, harder against me, the thud, thud of our bodies colliding against the wall the only sound other than our gasping breaths. Tightening my legs around his lean waist so my pussy clamped tight around him, I felt him stiffen inside me.  
  
He wrapped both his arms around my waist, buried his head against my shoulder and then a low moan escaped his control as he jerked against me and finally released his warmth deep within my body. We remained clinging to each other for several minutes but then Pierre released me suddenly and let me drop to the floor, his softening cock slipping from my soaked pussy. I crumpled in a heap at Pierre’s feet and looked up at him. He was frowning.  
  
“What’s the matter? Wasn’t that good enough for you?” I teased trying to make light of whatever seemed to be bothering him. Pierre snorted. Then looked toward the clock.  
  
“No, it was fine. I have to get back for the gig…before Chuck gets pissed…”  
  
I blinked.  
  
 _Fine? That was amazing! And he’s calling it fine…what the hell?_  Pierre glanced at me again and must have read the expression on my face. A bright smile flickered across his face.  
  
“You’re still amazing,  _Cherie_ …don’t ever think otherwise.”  
  
Heat spread across my cheeks and I lowered my eyes. His strong hand caught hold of my chin as he sank to crouch at my level.  
  
“Marly.”  
  
“I know…I know…”  
  
“Look at me then.”  
  
Flicking my eyes up I smiled shyly.  
  
“That better?”  
  
“Much.” Pierre sighed. “Come on. Get dressed…we have to go.”  
  
I glanced at the clock:  _6:05 PM_.  
  
“Ten minutes? Do you think we’ll make it?”  
  
Pierre laughed sending a rush of warmth straight through my body, reminding me of why I loved him.  
“Yeah, if we sprint. Let’s go.”  
  
Giggling I managed to drag my clothes back on in record time as Pierre readjusted his jeans and shirt, grabbed his keys and bolted for the door.


	4. The unfairness of the real world

_**Wednesday 14th March, 2007  
  
Montreal  
  
Guild of Dominants & Submissives  
  
9 AM  
  
* No one’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
“So, what do you suggest we do? Take her away from him? That would not be feasible. She is a free woman now.”  
  
Jake Angel was sitting in the Guild Panel chambers discussing the Bouvier case. He was attempting to draw the panel away from making a decision that would have a negative impact for both Pierre and Marly; yet he was not having much luck.  
  
The Panel Chair was an older man who was very rigid in his ways and believed that any law that was in place before 2005 was still relevant. He believed that the laws were still punishable if broken, before the new rules applied. And he had a vested interest in this particular case. After all, there was a whole lot more to the case that Jake didn’t know about.  
  
“That’s not the issue at hand, Mr Angel. If you had bothered to read the documents you would know that Mr Bouvier professed his love for the subject when she was still his property and that is clearly a breach of the law prior to October 2005 stating that no man may love their slave.”  
  
“So, we charge him with what then? What exactly is that? Soliciting a relationship with his possession? His own property?”  
  
The Panel Chair sighed deeply.  
  
“It doesn’t matter what it’s called. He broke the law. But it is not practical to punish him. At least not by removing  _him_  from society. He is in a famous band, and they can’t afford to lose him.”  
  
Jake twirled a pen absently in his hand as he replied as steadily as he could.  
  
“He’ll fight to keep her with him. You realise that don’t you.”  
  
The Chair nodded sagely, even though in his mind he knew that what he was saying was hypocritical.  
  
“Oh, we do, Jake. However, they cannot stay together. Look, we are being as reasonable as is humanly possible. We want to give the woman the best chance at a new life. If she is removed from Mr Bouvier’s charge she will have an even better chance. After all, she has only ever known his attentions.”  
  
“So, what you’re saying is that if you take her from Pierre she may meet other people…men in particular and make a life with one of them?”  
  
“Exactly. See, Mr Angel, it is possible the only reason she fell in love with Mr Bouvier, is because she spent all her life with him.”  
  
Jake looked down at the cup of tea he had made himself before sitting at the panel.  
  
“I can’t agree with that. She’s doing a college course…she’d meet plenty of guys there…she probably already has.”  
  
“Perhaps so, yet she’s still being influenced by Mr Bouvier. As long as she stays with him…”  
  
Jake cut in reluctantly. “I must concede I see your point.”  
  
The Panel Chair sat back in his chair, and smiled evenly.  
  
“Rest assured, we are not trying to ruin her life.”  
  
Jake nodded again.  
  
“Of course not.” He hesitated before asking another question that he thought was extremely important. “What will happen to Marly? Where will you send her?”  
  
“I was thinking Australia.”  
  
“Pardon?”  
  
“Australia. I’ve heard pretty wonderful things about that country.”  
  
Jake felt sick to the stomach.  
  
“You’re going to make her leave the country?”  
  
“You have a problem with that?” The expression on the Chair’s face was severe.  
  
Jake shook his head even though deep in his heart he knew he objected.  
  
“No…no problem…” He ran a hand through his hair. “Well, when are they scheduled to come in?”  
  
“In an hour. You will be ready to explain our ruling to them?”  
  
The young Grand Master nodded slowly.  
  
“Yes. I won’t like doing it, but I will be ready.”  
  
“Good, that’s all we ask.”  
  
Nodding, Jake stood up, shook hands with the Panel Chair, glanced toward all the other men who had remained silent throughout the exchange, acknowledging them with a look then he swung around and exited the chambers with a heavy heart.  
  
As soon as the doors closed behind him, the Chair cast his gaze around the other panel members.  
  
“Well, we’ve kept our end of the bargain.”  
  
“What happens now?” One of the others asked. “I mean, how much do you know about what Pierre has planned?”  
  
The Chairman smiled grimly. “I know enough. You’ll just have to trust that Pierre does the right thing.”  
  
“Will he?”  
  
“Oh, I have no doubt whatsoever.”  
  
 _ **Bouvier Apartment  
  
9:45 AM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
“Pierre…wake up!” I grabbed Pierre’s shoulder and tugged.  
  
A groan slipped from his throat as his eyelids slowly peeled open. Bloodshot eyes gazed out at me. After the gig (which had included an encore where all the bands came on stage and performed ACDC’s ‘A Long Way To The Top’) Pierre, the Madden twins and Kav had proceeded to get blind drunk last night even after I’d reminded Pierre we needed to be up ready to go this morning.  
  
“What time is it…?” He held the palm of his hand over his eyes.  
  
“Um…15 minutes until we have to be at the Guild.”  
  
“Fuck!” Pierre woke up fast. I almost got knocked over as he scrambled frantically out of bed, managing to trip over the sheets and land in a heap on the floor. “ _Merde_ …”  
  
He growled in frustration and quickly got to his feet and in less than 3 minutes had shoved his jeans on and as he dragged a clean black button-up shirt on, was out the bedroom dashing for the kitchen.  
  
I was already fully dressed in a white blouse and blue, black and gold tartan skirt; I’d been awake since 7 AM. Following Pierre into the kitchen, I found him already chomping on an apple whilst he attempted to make a cup of coffee. I pushed him gently aside.  
  
“Finish your food…I’ll get the coffee, need one anyway.”  
  
“Thanks…” Pierre mumbled around several pieces of apple. I smiled faintly in his direction as I quickly stirred cream into his coffee and plonked it down in front of him.  
  
“Here, made it coolish. We have to go in like…one minute.”  
  
“Yes, Ma’am.” He grimaced as he shoved the rest of his apple into his mouth, David style. Then he tried to gulp down his coffee spilling half of it on the floor. “ _Tabernack_ …”  
  
Pierre only ever swore in French if he was extremely upset. I blinked at him, grabbing a cloth and wiping up the spillage. Then I scooped up his keys and threw them to him.  
  
“Come on, no time to cry over spilt milk.”  
  
Pierre grunted, catching them in his hand.  
  
“Right. Let’s get outta here.”  
  
 _ **Guild of Dominants & Submissives  
  
10:05 AM**_  
  
Jake was there to greet us in the foyer. His face was unreadable. He clasped a file in his arms as he waited for Pierre and I to approach. Pierre gripped my hand firmly in his. He was sweating profusely; if I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn that he was nervous. But he couldn’t possibly have any reason to feel that way. He had always insisted on telling me that everything was fine and that coming to the Guild would only be a formality. And so, he had managed to cement in my mind that nothing bad could possibly happen.  
  
As we got closer to Jake I felt a terrible sense of foreboding begin to form in the pit of my stomach. The expression on my childhood Guardian’s face seemed grimmer then it had been moments before.  
  
“Pierre. Marly.” His deep voice had a sorrowful edge to it. Pierre’s hold tightened more, fingers digging into my palm. I wiggled my fingers; he relaxed only slightly. Jake took a deep breath, scanning the foyer slowly. “Come and sit over here. I have to explain the Panel’s decision to you…and you’re not going to like it.”  
  
“What? Why? Do we have to wait longer…?” Pierre was tense, the skin on his face drawn tight across his cheekbones. Jake glanced at me then back at Pierre.  
  
“Come sit down. Then we can talk.”  
  
We followed him over to a cordoned off area of the foyer where there was a small table and several sofa-like chairs. Pierre and I took seats opposite Jake and waited. He shifted the file on his lap and clasped his hands on his knees looking at the both of us before speaking.  
  
“Look, I’m not going to mince words. The Panel want to separate you. Specifically…they’re going to take you away from Pierre.” Jake looked directly at me as he spoke.  
  
My heart froze. It just stopped beating. A shudder rippled down my spine. There was this awful ringing in my ears. I gripped the arms of the chair so tight I felt that I would never let go; my vision blurred. I opened my mouth to say something, anything. But all that came out was a low moan.  
  
I was conscious of a storm brewing next to me and managed to clear my gaze to glance at Pierre. He was leaning forward on his chair; jaw clenched hard a muscle twitching. His eyes were narrowed into furious slits. When he spoke, his voice was a low, dangerous growl.  
  
“How dare they. They can’t do that.”  
  
“I’m afraid they can, Pierre. And they will. They’ve decided they’re going to send Marly to Australia. And they tell me they will not change their minds.”  
  
“No!” I finally found my voice; it cracked desperately, but I could speak words. “No…please…they can’t take me away…” I turned to Pierre, tears filling my eyes. “Pierre…I…I don’t want to leave you…” My voice shook, the tears escaping and trickling down my face. “Please…”  
  
Pierre reached out and gently wiped my tears away.  
  
“Shhh…I won’t let them do this to you,  _cherie_.”  
  
Trembling I scrambled from my chair onto his, and clung tightly to him. He wrapped his arms tight around me and rocked me. He glanced at Jake who just shook his head.  
  
“You have no choice. They can’t do anything to Pierre. Because he’s in a band. So, they’re removing you from his life.”  
  
Sobbing, I peered out at him.  
  
“That’s not fair…”  
  
“Life can’t always be fair, little one…”  
  
I buried my face against Pierre’s chest once more, unable to look at Jake anymore. I felt Pierre’s chest move as he breathed in deeply. His voice rumbled deep in his chest as he asked a question that I had been thinking.  
  
“Isn’t there any way we can change their mind?”  
  
“I’m afraid not, Pierre. From today, you only have two days together. On Saturday, a Guild Official will come to escort Marly to the airport. She’ll need to be ready before then.”  
  
Shaking I couldn’t stop a whimper slipping from my lips. Pierre absently stroked my hair as he continued to cradle me against his chest.  
  
“Two days…” his voice was hoarse. “That’s not a lot of time.”  
  
“I understand that. You’ll just have to make do.” Jake sighed heavily. “I’m truly sorry.”  
  
Pierre and I both sensed the sincerity in his tone. I lifted my head from Pierre’s chest and looked at him. Then I got up and held my arms out to Jake. He smiled sadly, let me collapse into his arms, and held me tight.  
  
“I’m sorry, little one…I didn’t want this to happen…I tried my hardest to plead your case…tried to explain that you were beginning to make a life for yourself here. But…they wouldn’t budge…”  
  
Pierre hung back watching us. I let Jake support me for several long minutes then he stepped back and gripped my shoulders.  
  
“Don’t forget, you can always count on me.”  
  
“Thank you, Jake,” I whispered then moved to stand next to Pierre; he slid an arm around me and pulled me close to his side.  
  
“So, I guess we have to make the most of our time together, eh?”  
  
Jake nodded. Pierre sighed.  
  
“There’s another gig tonight. You could come…GC are co-headlining and Eskimo Joe are opening for us.”  
  
Jake smiled. “I’ve seen them before. When I went to Australia earlier this year. Pretty amazing band. Sure, I’ll come.”  
  
“Right…then we’ll see you there.” Pierre squeezed me. “Come on, let’s go home.”  
  
 _Home…where would my home be in the future?_  
  
I dreaded the prospect of a life without Pierre. I hung onto his arm as he led me from the building. I knew that from now until the end of the week I could not let him from my sight. I wanted to spend every last minute of my time here in Montreal with Pierre. Because every minute would be closer to the last. I wouldn’t worry about what was going to happen after I left, because I knew if I did, I would fall apart.  
  
Sighing I let Pierre take me back to the car and drive us home.  
  
 _ **Bouvier Apartment  
  
11 AM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
I picked Marly up in my arms, lifting her out of the passenger seat; she’s so fucking light. She weighs less than a feather. Well, okay, maybe not that light. But she isn’t heavy. I could carry her easily up the stairs to our apartment.  
  
She wrapped her arms around my neck. Her little body was still shaking. Ironically, so was I. Personally I wasn’t really all that upset; but her emotions were spilling over and affecting me. Truth be told, this whole situation was a bit of a joke. A joke that only I got. And one that I definitely wasn’t going to explain to anyone. Especially not to  _her_.  
  
I have no idea how the separation is going to exactly affect Marly. I know she loves me. And I know she’s afraid of leaving me. But I don’t think I’ll ever know how she’ll feel about it. Unless I make her tell me…after the fact. Heh. As far as she knows…there won’t  _be_  any after…  
  
As I got us into the apartment, I stumbled down the hallway into our bedroom and collapsed on the bed, with Marly still in my arms. I felt her grip tighten on my shirt and my heart actually broke when I heard the strangled sobbing sounds that were coming from deep within her as she began to cry. All I could do was hold her.  
  
It would be fucking stupid for me to say that everything would be all right when I knew that it wasn’t ever going to be right again. At least, not for her. For me? Well, I won’t even go there.  
  
Her cries eventually subsided and I peered down to find that she had fallen asleep in my arms. There were tear tracks on her face and a crease across her forehead. Brushing my fingertips over the soft skin, I tried to smooth it out.  
  
Sighing, I settled on the bed and just let her sleep. I knew she was still tired from the previous night. I did tell her she could sleep in a little. But she never does. Marly wakes up at seven every morning. I don’t know how she does it. I can’t wake up that early. Unless I have to catch a plane. And even then, I normally just not go to bed in the first place. And then I’m in a fucking bad mood for the rest of the day. But after all these years in a band, I’ve learned how to act like I’m not all pissy.  
  
Chucking a hissy fit in front of fans is a huge no-no. I did it once. Chuck ripped me a new one. I never did it again. No, I took it out on her instead…I’m not proud of that. But, back then I was young and full of myself. Not that anybody other than Marly ever saw that side of me.  
  
Funny really, in other bands the frontman who is stuck so far up his own ass normally portrays it to the band’s whole fan base but I never did. I guess that was a good thing for the band. But it wasn’t good for Marly…and looking back now it wasn’t crash hot for me either. Still, that was the way I was back then. Can’t really change that. In fact, if I went back I probably wouldn’t do things any differently. Well, perhaps I’d have been gentler with her. But other than that, I wouldn’t alter my behaviour.  
  
Turning to look at her lying fast asleep, I felt the muscles in my stomach clench.  
  
 _Two days…two fucking days._  
  
That’s another thing I hate about the Guild, the lack of time they give you to prepare…it had to be done though…and I guess I shouldn’t complain; I had ample time to prepare myself for this. But I had promised I would never let anything happen to her. I promised. I promised…why did I do that? Why did I make a promise I knew I wasn’t going to keep?  
  
 _Fuck it all…_  
  
Rolling onto my back, I stared up at the fan. It wasn’t on. The three white blades stark against the olive green ceiling. Silence.  
  
It was broken seconds later by the loud annoying ring of my cell phone. Groaning, I shifted to the edge of the bed so I could pull it from my back pocket. Flipping it open, I answered in a low voice.  
  
“Pierre speaking. Oh, hey…why am I whispering? Marly’s asleep. No, that was your fault, not mine. What’s up?” I frowned. “What time? Ah…okay. I guess I’ll see you soon then. Uhuh. Bye.”  
  
Clapping my phone shut I turned to look at Marly’s slumbering form. I hated to wake her so I carefully pushed up from the bed, tiptoed over to the vanity, and grabbed a sheet of paper from the small notepad she left there. Finding a pen amongst the assorted junk on the bench, I quickly scribbled a message down then, picking up my keys let myself out of the apartment.  
  
 _ **Noon  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
“Pierre?” I sat up and looked around the room. I was alone. Rubbing my eyes, then stretching, I scanned the room until my eyes settled on the note on the bedside table.  
  
 _Marlz,  
  
Gone into town to meet with Chuck. Have to finalise the gig for tonight. It’s going to be our last one before we go into the studio to record our third album. I’ll be back for lunch. You might want to start thinking about what things you want to take with you…when you have to leave…  
  
Love you  
  
Pie_  
  
I blinked, reading, rereading the last line of the message. The only thing I wanted was Pierre. Stuff everything else. Tears blurred my vision. I bowed my head, pulling my knees up to my chest. I was terrified. I didn’t want to find myself alone in a place I knew nothing about, without Pierre to support me.  
  
All my life I had depended on him to make sure I had everything I needed. I was completely dependent on his guidance. In fact, I could not function socially without his help. I had always deferred to Pierre when it came to how I should act in society. Now, in two days time I was going to be thrown into the real world. And I wasn’t prepared.  
  
Sure, I was going to college and I was able to socialise with all Pierre’s friends. But I had never left Montreal. Unless it was to go on tour with the band. And that really didn’t count.  
  
Sighing, I rocked my body on the edge of the bed. My contemplation was broken by the sound of the door opening, and Pierre’s steady footsteps padding against the lino in the hallway leading to the kitchen. Moments later the jingle as he hung his keys on the hook next to the fridge reached my ears and I rubbed my hand across my eyes thinking that I should probably go out there to greet him. But I didn’t move. I remained frozen on the bed leaning my face in my hands.  
  
Minutes later Pierre’s footsteps approached the bedroom and he pushed the door open. Lifting my head, I glanced at him. He leaned against the doorframe, his large body filling the entire entrance.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
I shrugged and looked down. In an instant, he was next to me, strong arms wrapped reassuringly around my shoulders. He leaned down so his warm chocolate eyes were gazing intently into mine.  
  
“Marly, I’ll always love you. You know that, don’t you?”  
  
Nodding against his chest I breathed in deep before pulling away, giving a wan smile.  
  
“So, everything ready for tonight?”  
  
Pierre grinned. “Yep. Benji says GC are going to be performing some of the new songs from their new album.”  
  
“And what about you guys? Have you anything new to play?”  
  
I absently played with the buckle on Pierre’s belt. It was made of white leather and had metal studs along its length. He caught hold of my hand in his and lightly stroked the back of mine with his thumb.  
  
“Well, Chuck thought it would be best if we don’t play anything new just yet. But we are going to add Drive to our repertoire of cover songs.”  
  
“Sounds good,” I sighed. Pierre pressed his lips to my hair before speaking again.  
  
“Did you read my message?”  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
“Did you think of anything you wanted to take with you?” His tone was neutral, giving nothing away. I looked at him.  
  
“I don’t want to think about it, Pierre.”  
  
He turned to sit next to me still holding my hand.  
  
“You haven’t got a choice.” His voice was tight. “You have to think about this. It’s important.”  
  
I bowed my head, letting slip a tiny sob.  
  
“You promised me, Pierre…”  
  
The silence between us then was immense. It was as if it had substance. I felt I could reach out and take it in my hands, wrap my arms around it. It was broken only by the sounds of our heartbeats and our soft breaths. Minutes passed and still neither of us said a word. I think that we just couldn’t think of anything to say. Finally, I just repeated my thoughts, voice quavering.  
  
“You promised you wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”  
  
“I know.” Pierre spoke heavily. “But, sometimes promises can’t be kept.”  
  
Sniffing I wiped my eyes.  
  
“You shouldn’t make promises if you’re not sure you can keep them.”  
  
My tone was more accusatory than I had meant it to sound. Pierre closed his eyes maintaining tight control of his emotions. I could tell he was trying hard not to lose his cool. I could see him mentally distancing his feelings from the situation. When he looked at me to speak, his eyes had become shuttered.  
  
“Marly. I had no idea that something like this would happen.”  
  
I got the distinct impression that he wasn’t being entirely honest with me. That worried me and for some reason that made me angry. The rational part of my mind knew that none of this was his fault; but the small unreasonable part of my mind decided to lash out at him.  
  
I guess the fact that he’d effectively shut me out was getting to me. Who knew what Pierre really knew about all this? Perhaps he’d had an inkling that the Guild would take me away from him and that was why he had been acting so strange the past few months. But I did know one thing.  
  
“You  _promised_  you wouldn’t let them take me away. You  _promised_  me!”  
  
I pulled my hand from his and slapped at his chest. Pierre caught my wrist gently before my hand connected, restraining it. I tried to pull my arm from his grip. He tightened it slightly.  
  
“Sweet Pea…” His deep voice was gentle. I couldn’t take it. Tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision. I hit at him with my other hand. He didn’t stop me this time letting my palm connect with his hard chest. I held my hand there and clenched my fingers into the soft cotton of his shirt.  
  
“You promised…” Repeating the words helplessly, my voice had dropped to a coarse whisper. “You promised…”  
  
“I know. And I’m sorry.”  
  
Pierre said no more after that. He just pulled me into his arms and held me. I remained snuggled close to his chest allowing him to comfort me in all my grief and hopelessness.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **3:30 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
I’m such a hypocrite, aren’t I? Thinking back to the night prior to the charity gig, I reflected on my thoughts. Leaning over the balcony, I was smoking a cigarette. I know they’re disgusting things and it’s bad for my health but frankly I don’t give a shit. Much more important things to think about. Like all the crap I keep telling myself about  _our_ relationship.  
  
Marly's in the bedroom right behind me getting ready for tonight. She’s still upset. I don’t blame her. You’d be upset too if you were about to be taken away from the love of your life. And I guess I should be just as depressed about it all. But funny thing is, I’m not. Okay so it’s not funny, Haha. It’s ironic.  
  
Anyway, I was saying that I was thinking about the night before the charity gig. You remember? How I was going on about how when shit happens I didn’t know why? Well, like I just said…I’m a hypocrite…shit happens…and I do know why. Shit like this happens. And, I’m not sorry for it. Jeeze, I sound like such an ass, eh? Whatever…  
  
Blinking I blew a stream of smoke out of my mouth. The sound of the sliding door opening behind me caught my attention. I didn’t turn around though.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
Smiling faintly, I sighed as I felt slender arms wrap around my waist. Marly pressed her cheek against my back.  
  
“Hmmm…yeah?”  
  
“You’re not smoking are you?”  
  
I snorted and flicked ash over the edge of the balcony.  
  
“Pierre, that stuff’s bad for you…”  
  
“I know.” Shrugging, I turned my head slightly so I could look at her. She lifted sombre eyes to mine. “I know,” I repeated gently. She continued to stare at me. “What is it, Marly?”  
  
She looked down. Frowning, I turned and stubbed out my cigarette before taking her softly by the shoulders.  
  
“What’s the matter?”  
  
“I don’t know…” Marly’s voice was strained. “It’s probably nothing…”  
  
I pulled her closer letting her head lean against my chest. Placing my hands at the small of her back, I slowly massaged the tense muscles. She sighed. I pressed a light kiss to the top of her head and murmured.  
  
“Maybe you’re still upset about everything that’s happened…y’know?”  
  
She laughed sadly.  
  
“You’re right…that’s what it is…” I could feel her trembling a little. Sliding my hand up to cradle the back of her head I peered down into her face. There were tears glistening in the corners of her eyes.  
  
“Oh,  _Cherie_ …please don’t cry…”  _I can’t handle it if you cry…makes my job a lot harder_ …  
  
I held her hard against my chest, rocking her slowly and burying my face in her thick hair. Marly was muttering softly, repeatedly.  
  
“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” She sniffed then tilted her face up to mine. “I can’t stop…” She wiped at her face. “I’m sorry…I feel like I’ve been crying non-stop since I woke up…”  
  
“Understandable…there’s nothing for you to be sorry for.”  _No, I’m the sorry one…I’m a fucking hypocrite…one word from me…and none of this would be happening…ugh_ …  
  
I shook my head slightly. Marly glanced curiously at me. I forced my lips to form a smile.  
  
“It’s a natural reaction…”  
  
“I guess…” she sighed again. Turning in my grip she stared down at the street below. “What do you think it’ll be like where I’m going?”  
  
“Australia? It’s a beautiful country. The people there are very friendly…” I massaged the back of her neck. Marly leaned back against me and smirked faintly.  
  
“Like Kav?”  
  
“ _Oui_. Speaking of which…we’d better finish getting ready…come on.”  
  
She frowned.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
“Mhm?” I looked down at her. “What is it?”  
  
“Why isn’t it enough for them that I’m trying to make a life for myself here?”  
  
I sighed, raking my fingers through my hair.  
  
“I have no idea, babe. Don’t worry too much about it…just enjoy tonight, okay?” I gazed into her eyes intently wanting her to feel comfortable with what I was saying. She stared back hard. I just hoped she couldn’t read my true thoughts. That would be a bit of a problem.  
  
Only I knew the truth behind the Guild’s decision. Well and the Guild obviously. Smiling faintly, I squeezed Marly around the waist then released her, moving back inside. I heard her sigh loudly as she followed.  
  
“How am I supposed to do that?”  
  
I looked back at her.  
  
“Easy. Don’t think. Just go with the flow.”  
  
She smirked. “Hah. Such a typical guy thing to say.”  
  
“No. That’s just me.”  
  
Giggling, she came up and wrapped her arms hard around my waist.  
  
“Yeah…that’s why I love you.”  
  
Blinking, I gently prised her arms away.  
  
“I gotta get ready…”  
  
Marly pouted at me. I shook my head giving a little laugh.  
  
“Won’t take half as long as you.”  
  
She whacked my arm and went to sit on the bed, absently pulling her legs beneath her body. I gazed at her silently for a moment, feeling a stirring in my loins.  
  
 _Not now, little man_ …Spinning away I strode into the bathroom letting the door click shut behind me. I knew that she’d still be sitting out there when I was finished. And so I took my time getting ready.  
  
Fifteen minutes later I walked out feeling like I could take on the world. And I was right. Marly was still sitting on the bed, waiting for me. She was fidgeting slightly, tugging at a string that was beginning to unravel on the blanket. Walking up to her I took her gently by the arm and lifted her to her feet.  
  
“Let’s go…” I smiled down at her. She giggled and shifted my grip to her hand, swinging it like a little kid. So cute. We walked out the door, hand in hand, pretending that there was not a care in the world.


	5. Ocker mentality

_** ** _

 

 _ **Wednesday 14th March, 2007  
  
Montreal City Stadium  
  
6:30 PM  
  
* Kav’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
 _“…Emergency  
  
I think I am falling apart  
  
Emergency  
  
I think I am losing the fight  
  
And I don't know if I can do it  
  
I don't know if I can try  
  
I don't know if any one  
  
Asked me the reason I lied  
  
She sighed…  
  
She sighed…oh…no…_  
  
Thank you! Thanks! My name is Kav! And we are Eskimo Joe!”  
  
Gripping the neck of my bass, I waved to the kids who were milling around the front of the stage. It was insane. Stu leaned over and yelled to me.  
  
“This is bloody crazy!”  
  
I shook my head in agreement. I used to think that the crowds we fronted in Australia were mad, but this really surpassed my wildest fantasies. The kids were yelling, crying, crowd surfing.  
  
There was a small group of girls that were standing close to the stage, staring up at us with what I could only describe as complete and utter adoration. I’d seen those kinds of looks before; it didn’t affect me personally. I’m married. But Joel and Stuart aren’t and it makes me laugh a little when fans come up to them after shows and latch onto them.  
  
Wiping the sweat from my brow, I waved again before dashing off the stage, Stu and Joel close behind. Pierre Bouvier was leaning nonchalantly against one of the amps backstage a little smirk on his face.  
  
“What?” I raised my eyebrows at him. His dark eyes danced.  
  
“You guys were great. Looked like you were having fun out there.”  
  
“Yeah, we did,” I smiled. Nodding, Pierre pushed away from the amp.  
  
“Pretty insane, eh?”  
  
“You’re telling me,” Stu laughed as he swung his guitar strap over his head so it hung on his shoulder.  
  
“Marly enjoyed it…didn’t you.”  
  
I blinked realising that she had just appeared next to Pierre. She looked absolutely stunning. Marly’s long black hair fell in waves down her back. Her dark eyes shone softly even in the garish backstage lighting. She wore a red halter neck top and a short black skirt that showed off her curves. Her feet were bare and as she leaned against Pierre’s side, his large body appeared to tower above her.  
  
Pierre noticed me checking her out and lifted an eyebrow. I quickly directed my gaze to Marly’s face and smiled.  
  
“Did you?”  
  
“It was fantastic! I wish you could go back on again.” Her eyes lit up and she had the biggest smile on her face. I grinned. Pierre snorted. Marly glanced at him and slapped him lightly on the arm.  
  
“Don’t worry, they’re not as wonderful as you, Pierre.”  
  
I had the distinct impression that she was referring to more than just his musical talent. He chuckled and wound an arm around her waist.  
  
“That’s true.”  
  
Rolling my eyes, I slipped my bass off and set it on the floor.  
  
“I’m buggered… think I’m going to have a sleep…right here…” I promptly sat down on the floor, propping my bass over my left leg. Pierre smirked down at me.  
  
“You won’t get much sleep…GC are pretty fucking loud when they perform.”  
  
“You’re not any quieter,” Marly pointed out. I laughed, her sense of humour reminded me of my wife. I watched as Pierre pouted at her then pulled her into his arms and nuzzled his nose in her hair. She was giggling as he did this. I made a point of averting my gaze. Pierre noticed.  
  
“Marly’s hot, don’t you think?”  
  
“Pierre…”  
  
Gently, I smiled. “I’m married, Bouvier.”  
  
“Yeah? Well, that doesn’t change the fact that she’s hot.”  
  
“Pierre!” Marly was looking a little embarrassed. I didn’t blame her. Sheri was the same. She’s my wife. She doesn’t like it if I tell other guys that she’s hot. Thinks that me saying that should be reserved for private times like when we’re in bed.  
  
“Don’t you agree?” Pierre waggled his eyebrows at me. Sighing, I gave in.  
  
“Yeah, pretty damn hot.” I winked at Marly. She growled and pulled away from Pierre, slapping him on the chest. Then she stormed off, hips swaying. Pierre growled low watching her with an expression I could only describe as lust.  
  
Snorting, I rested my head back against the floor and smeared my hands over my face.  
  
“Fuck…”  
  
“Yeah, I need to do that.” Pierre’s voice moaned. I smirked at him through my fingers.  
  
“Go on then. Don’t let me keep you.”  
  
“Man, you don’t know how hot she is…”  
  
“Mate, my wife could run rings around any woman.”  
  
“Blonde, eh?” Pierre looked down at me. There was a critical expression in his dark eyes.  
  
“What’s that got to do with anything, Bouvier?”  
  
He shrugged in response, none too fazed by my sharp tone.  
  
“Yeah, she’s blonde, and bloody beautiful with it.”  
  
His attitude was irritating.  
  
“No need to be offended, Kav. I was just curious.”  
  
A distant look settled on his face and he turned and wandered away.  
  
I’d only just met the guy, but for some reason I sensed almost instinctively that there was something going on in his life that was making him unhappy. Yeah, call me Mr Temperley the Psychic. Sometimes I can’t help myself.  
  
Getting to my feet, leaving my bass on the floor I followed him. Pierre strode out of the backstage area into the long corridor at the back of the venue. I padded silently behind him. But then I tripped over my laces, hitting the floor with a none-too subtle grunt. His head jerked around.  
  
“Hey?”  
  
“Clumsy bugger,” I chastised myself. Pierre scowled.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“Sitting on the floor. Can’t fall down here…”  
  
“Heh. I meant, what are you doing following me.”  
  
“Was I?” I played the innocent. His expression darkened. I tried again. “Alright…look, you’re not happy about something, are you?”  
  
Pierre stared at me as if I was insane. That’s right, watch out here comes Kav the crazy Aussie rocker… Shaking my head, I laughed self-consciously.  
  
“Don’t mind me. I talk out of my arse a lot.”  
  
“ _Oui_. I’d never have guessed.”  
  
I blinked. Did he just agree with me?  
  
“Um.” This is awkward. “You and Marly seem tight.”  
  
He looked away, folding his arms over his chest as he continued on his way; I matched him, stride for stride.  
  
“Problem?”  
  
“You talk too much.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Like David.” I detected a hint of laughter in his tone and I realised that he was joshing me. Stopping in my tracks, I stared at him. He looked back at me, dark eyes sparkling mischievously.  
  
“You should see the look on your face, Temperley. You thought I was pissed at you.”  
  
Bugger that. “Sure, that’s what I thought, mate.”  
  
Pierre sighed. “Marly’s leaving Montreal.”  
  
Where the hell did that just come from? I kept my gaze in front of me and shrugged slightly.  
  
“She’s going to Australia.”  
  
“Without you?” I’m such a nosy bugger, aren’t I?  
  
“Yeah…without me…”  
  
“Mind if I ask why?”  
  
Pierre mumbled. “Wants a change of scene…”  
  
I looked at him then. His eyes were cast down to the floor; he had his arms tightly crossed over his chest. Slowing slightly he was dragging his shoes on the floor.  
  
“Really? You know where she’s going?”  
  
He shook his head.  
  
“No.” His voice was so quiet I didn’t quite hear him.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
“No. I don’t know,” Pierre snapped then swung away. “We’d better get back. I gotta go on soon.”  
  
Shaking my head, I watched after him. Marly stepped out from some random doorway, probably leading out from a dressing room. She walked over to Pierre as he was going pass and caught hold of his sleeve. Leaning against the wall, I inadvertently observed their interaction.  
  
Pierre stood close to Marly his hands resting lightly on her hips; she pressed her cheek against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. He rocked her gently murmuring softly in her ear.  
  
I couldn’t hear what was being said but I got the feeling that whatever he was saying upset her. She was trembling. After several more minutes, Pierre gently released her and continued backstage. Marly stared after him; there were tears trickling down her face.  
  
Hesitating I wondered whether I should go to her. Joel beat me to it. That guy, he always gets to the girls. Guess that’s a no-brainer really. If I were a chick, I’d go for him. His dark hair, dark eyes. I’ve heard my wife describe his eyes as soulful. Wish she’d say that about mine. Heh, who am I kidding, she always says that about me.  
  
“Hey,Marly?”  
  
She turned to look at him. Wiping her hand over her eyes, she gave a watery smile.  
  
“Hey? Joel, right?”  
  
“Yep. That would be me. Quartermain, Joel Quartermain. You okay?”  
  
I smirked at his turn of phrase.  
  
 _Bond freak…_  
  
Marly giggled warily then looked back in the direction Pierre had gone.  
  
“Nothing you can do anything about…”  
  
The sadness in her voice caught at my heart and I wondered what was really going on between her and Pierre. I hoped maybe Joel could get something out of her. No, I’m not a frigging voyeur. I would be doing the same thing as he was, except that he beat me to it. If that makes any sense.  
  
“You sure?” Good ole, Joel. Heh, that rhymed.  
  
She glanced at him. Joel is an Ocker Aussie. He has the mentality that as long as you have the basics (food, water, shelter) then you’re alright. It’s alright, mate. That’s his philosophy.  
  
“I’m sure,” Marly whispered. “Unless you know anything about…” she appeared to falter.  
  
“Anything about…” Joel prompted gently.  
  
“The Lifestyle…” She looked away. There was something about the way she said the word that flicked a switch in my mind.  
  
 _Lifestyle…?_  Surely, she didn’t mean that Pierre was her…no. That couldn’t be possible. I didn’t think that happened in Western Society anymore. Personally, I had known a few people who lived that way back at home in Freo; but it wasn’t usual. Come to think of it though, there was an S&M Guild in Perth. But the last time I’d been passed there it looked run down, derelict. I could tell that Joel had no clue what she was talking about and decided to step in.  
  
“Is Pierre your…Master?”  
  
Joel stared at me as if I’d grown a second head. I ignored him. Marly looked quietly at me then shook her head.  
  
“Not anymore…he freed me…two years ago.”  
  
Joel blinked.  
  
“What?”  
  
I rolled my eyes his way. “Duffer here has no idea what we’re talking about, Marly.”  
  
She smiled toward him. “Don’t worry about it, Joel.”  
  
“Oh…okay…um, I’m going to go and watch SP…”  
  
He rushed off. I sighed and shook my head. Then I noticed that Marly was looking at me strangely.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“How did you know?”  
  
“Know?” I asked stupidly.  
  
“Know about Pierre…he didn’t tell you did he?”  
  
Oh.  
  
“No. I figured it out when you asked J if he knew about the Lifestyle.” Yes, that is with a capital ‘L’. Marly nodded slowly and clasped her hands in front of her.  
  
“People outside of Montreal understand it better that way…y’know if I call it the ‘Lifestyle’.”  
  
“I don’t get you.” What other way was there to call it?  
  
She smiled. “For me, it wasn’t just a lifestyle…because that implies choice.”  
  
Narrowing my eyes, I indicated she should go on.  
  
“You see, I had no choice, Kav…I was born to be a…sub.”  
  
 _Righteous._  I blinked and squeezed my hands together. “Shit…that’s…” I had no words. Marly just smiled.  
  
“The way things were.”  
  
Wow, that still happens? Slaves are born? Nodding that I understood, I ran a hand through my hair.  
  
“So, um…what was Pierre saying to you?”  
  
“Just now?”  
  
Uh huh. “Hmmm.”  
  
Something, I wasn’t sure what, flashed in her dark eyes.  
  
“Nothing important.” She finally replied. I didn’t believe that, but I didn’t press her.  
  
At that moment, Joel Madden, walked passed us and yelled back over his shoulder.  
  
“Come on you two! No loitering in the hallways!”  
  
I smirked and glanced at Marly who was now also smiling.  
  
“Ready to have heaps of fun?” Keeping my tone light and jovial. She nodded in agreement.  
  
“Totally, let’s go.”  
  
 _ *** Marly’s p.o.v. *  
  
8 PM**_  
  
Every time. He does it to me every time. Watching Pierre performing. It’s…maddening. The same feelings always overwhelm me. Desire is the biggest sensation. And then love. You’d think it’d be the other way around. But, I’m only human. And, really the two aren’t that much different. And I’ve found, as the years pass that my feelings, my love, for this man have gotten deeper, stronger. Pretty amazing seeing that once upon a time he was the one person that I feared the most.  
  
“What are you thinking?”  
  
I turned my head slightly to look at Kav who was leaning against one of the unused amps. We were directly backstage and the sounds of Simple Plan performing filtered through the large black curtains that I had been peeking through.  
  
“Pardon?” I squinted at him. He shrugged.  
  
“You spaced out there.”  
  
“Oh. I guess I did.” Twisting a lock of hair round my little finger, I thought for a moment. “I…was just thinking about Pierre.”  
  
Kav nodded slowly as if that answered all of his unspoken questions.  
  
“Figures…you really love him, don’t you?”  
  
I nodded; my throat had seized. Unable to speak I turned back to the gap in the curtains. Peering through I could see the backs of Pierre and David as they went through their usual routine of getting the crowd to sing before performing  _Welcome to My Life_. Pierre was standing up on one of the red boxes and was holding the microphone out toward the crowd.  
  
“Come on! You can do better than that!”  
  
I chuckled at David’s repartee.  
  
“Yeah, but if they do…they might be better than you!”  
  
“Nah, never! No one’s better than me!”  
  
Pierre’s distinctive voice rang clearly through the stadium as he joked. His dark eyes were flashing out at the crowd, and he had the biggest, goofiest grin pasted across his face. He still hadn’t bothered to shave, the stubble on his face giving him a dark, alluring appearance.  
  
The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up, exposing his strong forearms; the black pants he wore were cut off at the legs and hung low on his hips. Like I just mentioned, he always got to me when he was performing live. Heh, he always made love to me so…well…after a gig.  
  
“Marly?”  
  
I tore my gaze from Pierre and looked back at Kav.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Pierre says you’re going to Australia.”  
  
I hesitated wondering how to approach the subject. Breathing a little unsteadily, I nodded slowly.  
  
“Yes…for…”  _Make something up…quick_. “My education course. The professor at the College here is going there for a few months to teach…I don’t like any of the other Profs so I’m going to Australia.”  _Good…that’s a good one…_  
  
“Sweet. You know where exactly?”  
  
 _Take a stab in the dark_ … “Um…I think it’s someplace in um…Western Australia…”  
  
Kav grinned. “I live in Fremantle. That’s a port city in Western Australia. Perhaps…if you need anything I could lend a hand.”  
  
I smiled softly.  
  
“Thanks, Kav…I’d appreciate it.” I let out my breath, not realising that I’d been holding it. A sudden relieved sensation filled the part of my heart that hadn’t broken, yet. I would know at least one person in Australia. Still, just the thought of leaving was tearing my heart apart. And I didn’t want to think about it.  
  
Thankfully, Kav said nothing more about it and instead commented on the performance.  
  
“I thought our set was insane! But they’re…they’re…”  
  
“Beyond mad,” I supplied, giggling a little.  
  
“Bloody insane.” He shook his head at his description. I shrugged slightly.  
  
“I’m used to it. It’s what I love about them.” I breathed deeply and murmured, “What I’ll miss about them…”  
  
Kav glanced at me then slowly moved closer to me and placed a tentative arm around my shoulders squeezing softly.  
  
“Hey, you’ll be okay. Everyone’s real great in Oz. Especially where I come from.” He chuckled and sang jokingly. “ _Oh I come from a land down under…where beer does flow and men chunder_ …”  
  
Shifting out from under his arm, I smiled at him then once again turned my attention back to the stage. The lights had dimmed and Pierre was standing at centre front acoustic guitar in his arms. He was preparing to play  _Perfect_. His dark hair fell in a way that cast a shadow across his face. As the spotlight hadn’t come on yet I couldn’t see his face anyway. But just before he stepped toward the microphone he looked back toward me and I could feel his gaze fixed on me; see the faint, sorrowful smile directed my way.  
  
I took a step back and held my breath, then let it out unsteadily. Normally I would have stayed to watch but I felt this sudden overwhelming need to be sick. I spun around almost crashing into Kav. He caught hold of me.  
  
“Marly?”  
  
I whimpered, grabbing hold of the sleeve of his leather jacket.  
  
“Going to be sick…” With that, Kav swung an arm round my waist and steered me out into the corridor. I made to protest but he hurried me into the dressing room that the bands were all sharing. There were only two other people in there when we entered.  
  
Patrick was sitting on the floor attempting to fix the screen on his laptop so he could hook the camera up; Benji was lying on the floor on his back gazing up at the ceiling. They both looked over as Kav gently lead me in.  
  
“Hey?” Benji sat up. “What’s going on?”  
  
I coughed and sunk to the floor my legs unable to hold me up any longer. I felt embarrassingly weak.  
  
“Going to be sick…” I repeated hoarsely. Benji moved quickly considering his somewhat unfit figure. Well, compared to Pierre he was unfit. He strode over to the single sink and, finding a towel, wet it under the cold tap then came over and pressed the back of his hand to my forehead.  
  
“Well…you don’t appear to be sick…”  
  
Pat snorted from his position on the floor.  
  
“She didn’t say she was sick…she said she was  _going to be_  sick…”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
Kav rolled his eyes, grabbed the wastebasket, and propped it between my knees. I leaned over it gripping the edge tightly. I moaned. My stomach lurched. But nothing came up. Just the horrible taste of bile in the back of my throat. And the salty taste of unshed tears filled my mouth.  
  
I squeezed my eyes shut and rocked slightly. I didn’t need to ask myself why I was feeling this way. I knew. I didn’t want to be separated from Pierre. I couldn’t imagine life without him. The thought of never being able to see him again, talk to him again, it was killing me.  
  
I felt a strong hand gently squeezing my shoulder. Peering through slitted eyes, I could see Kav hovering close a worried expression in his eyes. I let my head drop once more, letting the three men’s conversation wash over me, drowning out all my thoughts.  
  
“I’ll stay here with her until Pierre gets off stage.”  
  
“Okay…I’ll go and tell him…they shouldn’t be too long.”  
  
“I’ll stay here too, Pat. I haven’t got anything else to do.”  
  
Patrick laughed. “Where’s the rest of your band, eh Madden.”  
  
“Back at the bus I reckon.”  
  
Kav snorted. “We have a van…”  
  
“You’ll have a bus one day, Temperley.”  
  
“Heh, I quite like the van…nice and cosy.”  
  
“Heh, David would agree with you there,” Pat sighed. “Right be back in a few.”  
  
I heard the sound of him walking away, the dressing room door swinging on its hinges as he exited. Lifting my head up slightly I was startled by Benji’s piercing brown gaze staring directly into my face.  
  
“Jesus! You scared me!” I jumped backwards. He laughed apologetically.  
  
“Sorry…I was just looking at um…how pale you look.”  
  
I blinked.  
  
“Right…sure you were, Benji.” I shook my head and leaned over the basket again.  
  
“I really don’t think you’re going to be sick…” He commented. I sniffed, retched. And promptly disabused him of the notion, finally emptying the contents of my stomach and probably little bits of my stomach as well into the basket.  
  
“Ah… _shit_ …” He back-pedalled managing to escape getting sprayed. I managed to giggle at the expression on his face even though my throat was burning.  
  
“Not funny…” he muttered. I groaned.  
  
“I think she agrees, Madden,” Kav pointed out needlessly. I laughed again; it caught in my throat and I began coughing hard. He leaned over and rubbed my back slowly. I moaned and tried to breathe through my nose.  
  
Concentrating on my breathing took over everything else and because of that I didn’t notice when Pierre arrived until I felt his strong reassuring hands on my waist. He pulled me away from the waste-basket and lifted me in his arms carrying me over to the lounge and setting me down on it.  
  
Lying on my back I looked up into his beloved face. There were worry lines etched across his forehead and his dark eyes were narrowed slightly. He crouched down at my level and squeezed my hand.  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“Don’t know…I just felt sick…”  
  
He made to press the back of his hand to my forehead. Kav interjected.  
  
“She’s not running a fever. I already checked.”  
  
Pierre glanced at him and nodded his thanks then brought his eyes back to mine.  
  
“What set it off?”  
  
I stared at him. What did he think? All this shit that was going to happen…was happening to me and he was asking me that. I shook my head and averted my gaze, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. Pierre laid a hand lightly on my cheek and turned my face back to him.  
  
“Marly…” There was an edge to his tone. I swallowed hard.  
  
“I don’t…I don’t want to leave, Pierre.”  
  
He sighed heavily.  
  
“So, that’s what this is about?”  
  
“Did you think it was something else? I’m so scared of what will happen…I can’t…I can’t handle this, Pierre.” I coughed again.  
  
“You shouldn’t be so upset to make yourself sick.” There was something in the way he said that that caused alarm bells to ring in my head.  
  
“What? I didn’t  _make_  myself sick. You did that.”  
  
“How?” He responded harshly. “What did I do? I was on stage!”  
  
He stood up and took a step back. I knew why. He didn’t want to lose his temper with me, especially not in front of Kav and Benji. I noticed vaguely that the others still hadn’t arrived. Shaking my head I stared at him a few tears trickling down my face.  
  
“You didn’t  _do_  anything…it’s just you…the thought of not being with you…”  
  
Pierre calmed upon hearing my words and he settled next to me again. Reaching out and softly running his fingers through my hair he smiled sadly.  
  
“We still have a few days…” He licked his lips. “And no band commitments for awhile…apart from writing but that can wait a few days.”  
  
I leaned into his touch and just let him continue to caress my hair, slowly drifting off. The last thing I remembered was Chuck’s voice announcing his arrival in the dressing room.  
  
“Pierre! Get your ass out here!”


	6. This can't be goodbye

_**Friday 16th March, 2007  
  
Downtown Montreal  
  
8 PM  
* Third Person p.o.v. ***_  
  
Marly sat perched on a stool at the bar nursing an ice-cold glass of Orange juice. Pierre stood behind her with his arms wrapped lightly around her waist, chin resting on her shoulder. Neither of them spoke, remaining in silence, as every so often she would raise the glass to her lips and take a sip. They had been like that for almost half an hour. Marly gazing at nothing, attempting not to think about her uncertain future; Pierre deep in thought.  
  
They were both still, separated from the outside world as if by a bubble. Other people in the bar were bustling about, dancing, singing, and drinking. Yet, they remained in the same position without sound or movement.  
  
Pierre was the first to break his stance. Slight as it was. He lifted one hand and gently tucked a lock of hair behind Marly’s ear, then tracing his fingertips lightly down her neck and allowing them to rest on the pulse at the base of her throat. She swallowed hard and leaned back against his solid frame. He left his hand there, slowly circling his thumb against the sensitive spot. She moaned softly. He smiled against her ear.  
  
“Like that do you?”  
  
Marly whimpered. “Don’t tease me, Pierre…”  
  
Pierre chuckled and removed his hand, stepping away from behind her and setting his ass on the stool next to her. He breathed deeply and then propping one elbow against the bar, he gazed intently at her.  
  
“How’re you feeling?”  
  
“I…I can’t.” Marly hesitated then shook her head. “Please don’t ask me that. Can we not talk about how I feel, right now?”  
  
Pierre sighed and nodded slightly. Lifting a finger, he motioned to the barman.  
  
“One more OJ.” Then he rubbed at his face and chuckled.  
  
“What?” Marly frowned.  
  
“Did you see David’s face when you beat him at the bowling?”  
  
She smiled faintly. Earlier that afternoon they had gone with the band and the guys from GC to play ten pin bowls. Benji had bet that Marly could beat David by 60 points. She promptly won him that bet.  
  
“Yeah…poor guy. He really didn’t think I could do it.”  
  
Pierre laughed quietly, a rumble deep in his chest. She reached out and placed her hand against his chest. The muscles were firm at her touch. The only barrier between her hand and his skin was the soft cotton of his white shirt. He lifted a hand and encircled her wrist tenderly.  
  
“Marly…”  
  
She trembled slightly; he could feel it vibrate down his arm. He pulled her close and slid his other arm around her waist, then he bent his face over hers staring deep into her eyes. Marly stared back into his own searching their depths. Finding a terrifying void. She blinked and pulled back slightly. He caught hold of her preventing her from going any further.  
  
“Marly,” he repeated sadly. She looked into his eyes again and the emptiness that she had perceived a moment earlier was now replaced by more emotions than she could ever hope to fathom. Pierre gave her no time to speak, leaning down and pressing firm, supple lips against her own, capturing them in a tender embrace. She trembled and he pulled his mouth away looking down into her face. There were tears trickling down her face. He brushed them away with the pad of his thumb.  
  
“Sweet Pea…”  
  
Marly stopped him, shaking her head.  
  
“Don’t say anything, Pierre. Please…”  
  
He sighed and just wrapped his arms around her and held her close to his chest. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander back over her last day in Montreal.  
  
 ** _~Flashback~  
  
Earlier that day  
  
Metro Ten Pin Bowling  
  
11 AM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. *_**  
  
 _“David, come on, there’s no way you’re going to beat me. After all, Benji’s beaten you every single time we’ve ever gone bowling…and I’ve beaten him more than twice…”  
  
David pouted at me, his hazel eyes bright.  
  
“Yeah, but that was with bumpers…you gotta do it without them.”  
  
Pierre snorted. “_Marly  _doesn’t have to do anything, asswipe.”  
  
I glanced at him, where he was sprawled on one of the plastic chairs. He had a bottle of coke propped on his flat stomach, one hand curled loosely around it. The other was tucked into the pocket of his black jeans. His dark hair was tousled and there was an amused glint in his eyes. I moved to sit on his lap. He chortled and slid an arm round my waist, steadying me. I smirked back at him then looked at David once more. He was scowling at us.  
  
“You’re such a spoiler.”  
  
“Me?” Pierre’s eyes widened in an expression of innocence. “No way. Not me.”  
  
Benji wandered over then, already holding a bowling ball.  
  
“I bet that Marly could win if she plays you, with or without bumpers.”  
  
David snorted.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Yeah. Say…by 60 points.”  
  
I blinked. Pierre watched on silently. Benji grinned at the slighter man.  
  
“Well?”  
  
David stared hard at him then stuck out his right hand.  
  
“You’re on!”  
  
They grasped hands; I shook my head and sighed.  
  
“What if I don’t want to play?”  
  
Pierre laughed from behind me. I turned on his lap and glared at him.  
  
“Don’t laugh. I’m serious.”  
  
“Sure you are.” He placed his bottle on the table next to him then proceeded to tickle my sides mercilessly. I shrieked.  
  
“Ah…Pierre, stop it!” I slapped my hand against his shoulder. He relented and hugged me around the waist. Benji cleared his throat.  
  
“If you two are done?”  
  
We both peered at him.  
  
“We’re done,” Pierre smirked. I slapped him again. He shot me a stern glance. “Don’t do that again.”  
  
“Yes sir,” I mocked, rolling my eyes. His features softened as he pushed me gently up off his lap.  
  
“Go on. Have a go.”  
  
I sniffed. “You make it sound like I’ve never gone bowling before.”  
  
“You never had before I met you.” His tone was calm, quiet. I stared at him incredulously and the words spilled from me before I could stop them.  
  
“Met me? You bought me…”  
  
There was a stunned silence.  
  
“What the hell?” David’s voice was so quiet I barely heard him. Pierre groaned.  
  
“Don’t do this now, Marly…this really isn’t the time or place for that.”  
  
He needn’t have worried. I held my hand to my mouth, shocked that I had even said it. Breathing hard I swung around and stalked over to the bowling-ball rack, grabbing a size 10 ball. I didn’t want to explain anything to the shocked men. Benji and David were looking from me to Pierre and back again, astonishment clearly written all over their faces.  
  
“Pierre?” David probed. Pierre shook his head and leaned forward, kneading the palm of his hand against his forehead.  
  
“It’s a long story…and now’s not the time…”  
  
David opened his mouth to protest; but Pierre cut him off pointing toward me.  
  
“She’s waiting for you, David. Don’t talk. Just bowl.”_  
  
 _ **City Square  
  
1 PM**_  
  
 _“You owe me fifty US bucks, Desrosiers,” Benji smirked.  
  
David pouted folding his arms across his chest. I glanced up from where I was standing gazing into the old wishing fountain. Pierre stood ever beside me a perpetually amused expression on his face.  
  
“It wasn’t fair! She used the bumpers!” David whined. I rolled my eyes and then pointed into the fountain.  
  
“If you’re worried, you could get the money from in there.”  
  
“Marly.”  
  
I quickly looked at Pierre. There was a solemnity to his bearing. His deep brown eyes met mine. Shivers coursed down my spine. Taking a deep breath, I felt like I was drowning in his gaze. Something in his eyes was drawing me closer to him. I trembled.  
  
Seconds later the spell was broken as David pounded up to us and literally dove into the fountain clothes-and-all, splashing us with ice-cold water.  
  
“Fuck!” Pierre jumped backward, laughing. “She was only joking, Davo!”  
  
David came up spluttering. Water dripped from his hair down his face onto his soaked shirt and pants.  
  
“You coulda told me that before I jumped in here.”  
  
“Sorry, David.” I smiled sweetly at him. He tilted his head, then shrugged clambering out of the fountain. He came up and before I could stop him, flung his arms around me and hugged me tight, lifting me up off the ground.  
  
“I forgive you, Marly. But only ’cause you’re so nice.”  
  
“Aww…shucks…” I pecked him on the cheek. “I love ya too, David.”  
  
“Oi. None of that.” Pierre pulled me away from the other man. I giggled.  
  
“Jeeze…I love you more than anyone here, Pierre.”  
  
“Yeah,” David chimed in. “You_ are  _the one she sleeps with.”  
  
Pierre snorted, then moved back to stand next to me slipping a hand into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. Scrounging through his change, he found a dollar coin and handed it to me.  
  
“Make a wish.”  
  
Glancing at his face, I could tell that he was being serious. I closed my fingers around the cool metal of the coin. Myriad thoughts and emotions bombarded my senses and I carefully navigated them as I thought about what I could wish for. Eventually, it came to me and sighing quietly, I turned and softly lobbed the coin into the fountain.  
  
~End of Flashback~_  
  
“Pierre? Marly?”  
  
Pierre turned his head slightly to see Benji leaning against the bar a small frown on his face.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Thought I’d find you two here. Chuck’s looking for you. Says some guy called Jake is waiting for you outside your apartment.”  
  
Marly lifted her head from Pierre’s chest then. She blinked blearily at Benji.  
  
“What are you doing here, Benj?”  
  
“Apart from trying to look for you two? Not much. Got locked out of the bus…again.”  
  
Pierre rolled his eyes.  
  
“Smart move, genius.”  
  
He shrugged, then a thoughtful expression passed across his face.  
  
“I’m curious…”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“What…you said…when we were at the bowling…” Benji glanced into Marly’s eyes. She looked away pressing her cheek against Pierre’s chest.  
  
“Don’t, Madden.” His voice was a low growl, a warning in his tone. The other man took a step back.  
  
“I just wanted to know what she meant. No harm in that is there?”  
  
“It’s not even relevant anymore. Keep out of it okay? It’s none of your business.” Pierre snapped before turning his full attention to the girl in his arms, gently raking his fingers through her hair. Benji cleared his throat.  
  
“Well, then why would Jake Angel be hanging around your apartment?”  
  
Pierre whipped his head back in his direction.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You heard me, Bouvier. If that’s the ‘Jake’ Chuck’s talking about.” He folded his tattooed arms across his chest and glowered back at Pierre.  
  
“What makes you think it is?”  
  
“Not sure. Is it?”  
  
Sighing, Pierre nodded carefully.  
  
“Yeah. That’s him. He’s the only Jake I know at any rate.”  
  
A confused look appeared in Benji’s eyes.  
  
“So, why?”  
  
“Marly…” Pierre murmured against her hair. She looked up into his face, he stared back intently searching for something in her gaze. After several moments, he seemed to find what he was looking for and glanced back at Benji. “Marly used to be my…slave.”  
  
There was quiet then; not even the pounding of the music penetrated the cone of silence between the three of them. Pierre’s arms tightened around Marly’s small figure as she leaned against him. They waited, uncertain of their friend’s reaction. Benji indicated to the barman that he wanted a glass of water before finally responding.  
  
“I figured as much. I kinda suspected it…a long time ago actually…back at Warped…in 2003. Ya remember that tour, Pierre?”  
  
He nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”  
  
“You told Benji I was your girlfriend,” Marly whispered against Pierre’s chest her voice muffled in the folds of his shirt.  
  
“I did, didn’t I…” Not quite a question.  
  
“Yeah, you did, Bouvier. But, I figured she was something else.”  
  
Pierre blinked. “You never said anything.”  
  
Benji shrugged. “Meh, it’s not like it’s illegal to have a slave. That was your business.”  
  
“Uhuh. How do you know Jake, anyways?”  
  
“He’s mine and Joel’s cousin.”  
  
“Shit. For real?” Pierre was surprised. “Jesus. It’s a small world…” He looked down at Marly again who had lifted her head to squint at the other man. Benji smiled at the curiosity in her eyes.  
  
“I don’t know what made me think that you were more…less…than Pierre’s girlfriend.”  
  
Marly laughed softly. “Maybe the fact that I was so submissive to him might have tipped you off.”  
  
“Perhaps. Anyway. You’re not a slave anymore, right?”  
  
“Correct. I’m free now. To do whatever I want.” Her voice faltered; Benji didn’t notice. Pierre did though, and softly massaged his fingers into her shoulder blade.  
  
“Yeah, she’s going to Australia…to finish off her studies.” Pierre smiled.  
  
“What?” Benji looked at Marly in surprise. “When did you decide that?”  
  
She laughed nervously. “Not too long ago…it’s just that my Prof is going over there to teach.”  
  
“Really? Sounds good.” He cast a long look at Pierre. “She leaving you all alone, eh?”  
  
“Yeah…oh well, the band really has to crack down and finish our album…Marlz wouldn’t see me much anyway.”  
  
“Fair enough.” Benji drained his water. “Well, I’m gonna try and get back on the bus…you two should head back…I know Jake doesn’t like to wait…”  
  
Pierre sneered faintly.  
  
“Heh, he’s screwed me around. He can wait.”  
  
Benji lifted an eyebrow. He wasn’t going to get an answer. Pierre let his chin drop against Marly’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Sighing, Benji pushed away from the bar and left the couple alone.  
  
Silence enveloped them once more, within their bubble of solitude. And as they sat there the brightness of the music and the other patrons shielded them from the reality they would soon have to face.  
  
 _ **Bouvier Apartment  
  
9:15 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
I’m gonna have such a headache tomorrow…damn it. I think I drank too much. I really didn’t want to have to deal with Jake right now. But I guess I didn’t have much choice. He was waiting for us when we arrived home. Luckily for me, Marly was sober. You can’t get drunk from drinking orange juice, eh. She walked ahead of me, leaving me to lean against the wall as she confronted Jake.  
  
“What are you doing here?”  
  
His responding smile jarred my senses. Something was wrong. I don’t think I could cope with any more shit. If the panel had backed down on their decision that would totally fuck up my plans. Narrowing my eyes, I waited to see how he would answer.  
  
“Just came to make sure you were ready to leave tomorrow.”  
  
I could see the strained expression in Marly’s light brown eyes as she stared at him. She was trembling. I decided to intervene.  
  
“She’s ready,” I snapped, striding forward and moving to place a steadying hand at the small of her back. “I would tell you if she weren’t.”  
  
Marly glanced gratefully up at me. I smiled softly down into her eyes before redirecting my look to the other man. Jake met my stern gaze. He blinked then backed down attempting to salvage the situation.  
  
“I’m sorry, Pierre. I didn’t mean to imply that you were incapable of helping her through this.”  
  
I continued to glare at him, unconvinced. I was making him nervous; beads of sweat were forming on his top lip. Shit, he was actually shaking. Sighing, I moved to unlock the front door.  
  
“Come in for a moment, Jake. Have a drink with us.”  
  
He wrinkled his nose at me.  
  
“You’ve already been drinking.”  
  
I shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
“Another one won’t hurt.”  
  
I could understand his hesitation. He was probably thinking that he wasn’t our favourite person now. Truth be told though, he wasn’t really an issue. Anything Jake said or did would have no real impact on what happened to Marly. Only I knew the exact details of what was going to occur over the next few months.  
  
Holding Marly’s hand, loosely in mine, I lead her inside. Jake brought up the rear.  
  
“Nice place you have here, Bouvier.”  
  
“Hmmm…yeah, thanks. It’s kinda small. But it’s home.” I motioned him to go into the living room, pushing Marly gently after him. “I’ll just grab some drinks…you two need to talk.”  
  
A look passed between them.  
  
“Do we?” Marly smirked. Jake laughed. I rolled my eyes and made my way to the kitchen, leaving them alone. Frowning slightly as my cell phone began to vibrate in my back pocket. Pulling it out and flipping it open, I snapped impatiently.  
  
“Bouvier here. What do you want? Oh shit, sorry…hang on…” I jogged the last few steps into the kitchen and shut the door behind me. “Babe…why are you calling me? This really isn’t a good time…”  
  
It was Rochelle, this chick my brother hooked me up with about a year ago. She’s real hot. She’s tall, long-legged, and blonde. Very much my type of girl. Met her at a club one night. A strip club to tell you the truth.  
  
I never usually went to that particular joint, but I think I was there for Jason’s birthday. Y’know, any excuse to a see a little flesh. Anyway, I’ve been seeing her on the sly for a year now. Marly has no idea. Yeah, I should feel guilty about it. Cause that would be the decent thing to do. But, I’m not. How can I? The sex is too fucking good to pass up.  
  
I mean sure…I’m not saying that Marly isn’t great…fuck…it’s always amazing with her. But…well she’s always so…submissive. Ya see…Rochelle isn’t. She has no inhibitions whatsoever. None. And she’s very aggressive in bed. You don’t get that often with chicks…it’s exciting. And yes, I have slept with other chicks…it was easier to do when I was younger, for obvious reasons. Marly couldn’t object. Now, I have to be careful. Still, I reckon the risk’s worth it.  
  
Hah, to be sleeping with one of the hottest chicks in Montreal…that’s gotta be something. Not that I don’t enjoy it when Marly’s so… obedient to my demands. It’s just…I’m so used to her…her body…I need someone else every once in awhile. Keep things interesting keep my dick happy.  
  
Leaning against the kitchen bench, I frowned a little as her voice echoed in my ear. I could almost hear her pouting.  
  
 _“Pierre, baby…I miss you…when can I see you next?”_  
  
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sighed.  
  
“Look, Ro…I can’t talk to you right now.”  
  
 _“Why…because of her?”_  
  
“Exactly…listen just give me a couple of days, eh?”  
  
 _“Oh?”_  
  
I smirked a little. “She’s being sent to Australia…we’ll have all the time in the world to get together.”  
  
 _“Oooh…I can’t wait…”_  
  
I swear to God, she was purring on the other end of the line. So fucking sexy. And little Pete was beginning to twitch. Still, I had to put my foot down, for now.  
  
“I’m going to hang up now. Don’t call me, okay?”  
  
 _“Aww…baby…”_  Rochelle was pretending to be put out. But I knew she would wait for me. As was evident by her next words.  _“You know I’ll wait forever for you, babe.”_  
  
“Don’t worry.” Chuckling, I pushed away from the bench and turned scrounging for a pen. “You won’t have to wait that long…here…what’s your home number?”  
  
She told me enthusiasm and anticipation clear in her tone. I quickly scribbled the number down and tucked it into my wallet.  
  
“Thanks, wait for my call, eh.”  
  
I almost creamed my pants at her response; her tone was low and suggestive.  
  
 _“I’ll be ready and waiting for you…”_  
  
Growling, I clicked the phone off and placed it on the bench in front of me. Staring hard at it, I breathed deep to steady my pounding heart. That call. Damn. I was hard as a rock. Fuck. I knew I had to do something about it. Just hearing Rochelle’s voice was enough to increase my libido.  
  
Clenching my jaw, I forced my mind to focus on what lay ahead. Gripping the edge of the bench, squeezing hard, I composed myself before going to the fridge to grab the drinks I had promised. With two bottles of Jack Daniels and a bottle of water in one hand, I pocketed my phone and headed back to the living room.  
  
 _ **9:15 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Jake and I sat on the lounge in silence. I wondered what Pierre had meant by us needing to talk. Jake must have been thinking along the same lines because he was looking anywhere but at me. Finally, after several long minutes he turned to look me in the face.  
  
“I really came here to say goodbye…” He swallowed hard. “I don’t want to tell you this, but I must.”  
  
My throat tightened. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. Bowing my head, I trembled as tears pricked the corners of my eyes. He shifted closer and laid a gentle hand on my shoulder.  
  
“You won’t be returning to Montreal. The Guild has signed documents that will prevent you ever returning here. You’ll never see Pierre again.” He hesitated before going on, sorrow evident in his voice. “This is forever, little one…” I could hear the terrible strain in his voice.  
  
Lifting my gaze to his, I couldn’t hold back my tears as they streamed down my cheeks. Shaking my head, I was in denial. I still could not accept that I would never see Pierre again. He meant everything to me.  
  
“Pierre will figure something out!” I blurted desperately. “He won’t let them do this to me. I…I’ll be back with him before I know it.”  
  
I hated the fact that my voice was shaking. My whole life was falling apart before my eyes, spiralling out of control. Clenching my hands, I sobbed.  
  
“He…he…” Finally, I just cried. Pulling my knees up to my chest, hiding my face and keening loudly.  
  
I didn’t hear Pierre entering the living room until he spoke to Jake.  
  
“Sorry about that…had a call. Here…all I got are Jack Daniels.”  
  
“Thanks…um…”  
  
He must have motioned to me because the next thing Pierre was sitting next to me, his face bent close to mine.  
  
“Sweet Pea…?”  
  
I peeked out at him. I must have looked terrible. Tear-stained face, red-rimmed eyes. Pierre’s face was filled with compassion, love. It burned deep in his gaze. He embraced me, allowing my head to rest against his shoulder. I closed my eyes and sighed softly. He stroked the back of my head with one large hand.  
  
Trembling, I clung tight to his hard body, never wanting to let go. He murmured low into my ear, not words so much as soft crooning sounds. I relaxed in his arms as he began to hum, only halting for a moment when Jake excused himself.  
  
“Pierre, I have to get going…”  
  
“Okay, man…just see yourself out.”  
  
“Will do…” I heard him stand up and turn to us for a moment. Without lifting my head, I raised a hand and felt Jake take hold of it squeezing lightly.  
  
“Good luck, little one…”  
  
I nodded my head, keeping my eyes closed. He drew back and walked out leaving Pierre and I alone. Pierre held me close, his arms tight around me. I breathed slowly, listening to his heartbeat. It was pounding steadily in my ear.  
  
Shifting against him I frowned a little; he was tense, and I could feel a bulge in his pants. Pulling back I looked up into his eyes. He smiled sheepishly at me.  
  
“This isn’t a good time for that…is it…”  
  
Blinking, I felt laughter bubbling inside my chest. But, it came out as a moaning cry. Burying my face against his chest again, I shook. He squeezed my arms softly.  
  
“Unless…”  
  
Whispering, I cut him off.  
  
“I need you…”  
  
“Now…?”  
  
I looked up at him, tears in my eyes.  
  
“Yes…”  
  
He tilted his head, examining me silently. It didn’t take him long, but he obviously came to some conclusion. Without another word he lifted me in his arms, making me wrap my legs around his waist, and carrying me down the hallway to our room.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **9:35 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Damn…no matter how many times we do this, she always looks so…innocent. I set Marly down on the edge of the bed and stepped back so I could just look at her. She sat with her head tilted so she was staring up at me through her lashes.  
  
Goddamn…the expression on her face was fucking hot. Almost shy…yet with restrained passion flickering in their veiled depths. It was making me so fucking hard. I bet I could drill a hole in a brick wall that was how stiff I was. I had to do something about this.  
  
Normally, I’d be gentle with her. Make love to her. But, right now? I was too sexually frustrated to go slow. And Rochelle’s call really didn’t help any…  
  
“C’mere.” Commanding, feeling power rush through my veins. Marly obeyed without question. Slowly rising to her feet. Not quick enough. Taking a step forward, I grasped the front of her blouse and jerked at it, causing her upper body to fall against me. She gasped, grabbing hold of my arms to steady her body and stared up at me in shock.  
  
Gripping her hips I pulled her body close to mine, giving her no explanation, crushing my lips against hers, grinding my hard-on against her.  
  
She trembled and a small whimper slipped out as I licked into her mouth, practically fucking her mouth with my tongue. Her hands were wrapped tight around my biceps, hanging on for dear life. Good thing too…I propelled her back onto the bed, falling on top of her pinning her beneath me. She was shaking now. I took no notice. Pulling my mouth from hers, I moved quickly to remove the skirt she was wearing.  
  
“Pierre…wait…” Marly made to grasp at my hands. I pushed them away and looked up at her, staring hard into her eyes.  
  
“You said you needed me.”  
  
Her body shivered. Fuck that was hot. I slowly massaged the heel of my hand into her groin. She arched against me with a soft moan. But still she protested.  
  
“Not like this…”  
  
I blinked and shook my head, placing my hands at the buttons of her shirt and undoing them as I rocked my cock against her. The friction caused by my jeans making her moan.  
  
“Pierre…no…I don’t want…”  
  
I sat up slightly, pulling her up with me. Cutting her off I whispered, “Take it off…”  
  
She stared at me then quickly pulled her shirt off and let it drop on the bed next to us. I pushed her back down and leaned over her slowly licking her neck. The skin was so soft…like silk. I was getting harder, the crotch of my jeans becoming uncomfortably tight. Had to do something to fix that…soon.  
  
“I want you…” I growled low, dangerous. “And tonight…” I slid a hand to her panties and pulled them down. Then lowering my face down I nuzzled my nose against her shaven mound forcing a tiny cry from her lips. “Tonight…I’m taking what I want…”  
  
I knew she couldn’t really complain. She loved it like this, a little rough. She knew she needed to be dominated. She couldn’t deny it. I sat up slightly, propping myself up on my elbows, gazing down at her body. Letting my gaze travel hungrily along her lean length. Eyes grazing down her stomach and settling at the point where her bikini line began. Then I brought my eyes even lower. Her shaven mound, I smoothed my palm over it a shiver running down to my cock.  
  
Damn…I wanted to eat her alive. She lay still now, watching me silently, mouth parted slightly. Her breasts rose and fell a little unsteadily. Frowning, I moved up her body.  
  
“It’s alright, Sweet Pea…you know you’ll enjoy this…” I watched as an indecipherable emotion flashed in her gaze. Bending my head, I brushed my lips over her left nipple. I wanted her to react. She didn’t disappoint.  
  
Marly gasped, “Oh…God…”  
  
Something flickered in her eyes as she made one last attempt to push me away. Something inside me snapped. I seized her wrists and pinned them down to the bed.  
  
“Damn it, Marlz…stay. I won’t say it again.”  
  
Her eyes widened as it dawned on her that I was going to do this whether she liked it or not. She relaxed beneath me; I could feel the fight draining from her. A twinge of guilt flickered inside me.  
  
 _She doesn’t want this. I shouldn’t do this_... I pushed that thought aside and took both her wrists in my left hand holding them above her head. She whimpered.  
  
“Shhh…” I brushed the tip of my tongue over the pulse in her neck. “I’ll make you feel good…”  
  
Marly sighed and shifted under my body. Fuck. That’s so hot. Her naked body was pressing against my fully clothed one. I needed to get my clothes off. But I didn’t want her to go anywhere. The handcuffs were in the bedside drawer but I didn’t want to risk her bolting so I’d have to improvise.  
  
Glancing down, my eyes fell on my belt. Grinning wolfishly, I unbuckled and pulled it from the loops in my jeans. Quickly, wrapping it around her wrists I then looped the tough leather around the bedpost, securing her. Now she could struggle all she wanted. She wasn’t going anywhere.  
  
“Hmmm…where to begin…” Murmuring to myself, I slid down her body trailing my palms down her full curves. She quivered at my touch and strained against the belt.  
  
“Pierre…”  
  
“Shhh.” I moved back up and caught hold of her chin gazing sternly into her eyes. “Don’t talk, little one.”  
  
Marly blinked back at me. A single tear escaped from beneath her right eyelid and slid down her cheek. I brushed it away, tenderly.  
  
“ _Cherie_ …don’t cry…I promise you’ll enjoy this…”  
  
“ _Pierre_ ,” she repeated, but this time there was a terrible need in her voice. Enough stalling.  
  
Pushing up from the bed, I whipped my T-shirt off and quickly dragged my jeans and boxers off throwing them all onto the floor. Then moving back up her body I settled so I was lying between her thighs. I was so stiff I needed to get inside her. But I also knew that if I went too fast she’d get nothing from it; and this wasn’t just about my pleasure.  
  
Licking my lips, I gazed up into her face. She was staring back at me, pupils dilated, breathing hard.  
  
“Tell me,” I slowly rubbed the palm of my hand against her inner thigh. “What do you need?”  
  
Marly trembled, lips parted, yet seemingly unable to respond. Guess I’d just have to rely on my instincts. Luckily, for the both of us, I’d never been wrong, yet.  
  
Sucking in my breath, I trailed my fingers up her thigh. She shifted slightly; I pressed a hand to her hip holding her still. Lifting my eyes to hers, I smiled faintly, before moving up and dipping my head between her legs. Slowly, oh so slow, I ran the tip of my tongue up her inner thigh, up, up until I reached the outer folds of her pussy. She shook above me, moaning softly.  
  
Maintaining a firm grip on her hips, I carefully teased the edges of her pussy with my tongue and mouth. Nuzzling for a few seconds I eventually located her clit and, taking it between my lips, I sucked hard on it.  
  
Marly’s hips bucked and she cried out loud, “Pierre!”  
  
I peered up at her whilst keeping my mouth pressed to her pussy. She was pulling against the belt; eyes squeezed shut, mouth open in a silent cry of ecstasy. The expression on her face was so fucking hot. Fuck. I was about to burst. My cock was rock hard, pressing against her left leg. I knew she could feel it. Because I definitely could.  
  
Sweat poured down my face from the effort of restraining my actions. I wanted her to come first before I did anything more.  
  
Sitting up, I took hold of her clit between my thumb and finger. Marly stiffened. She was slick with her juices, sticky on my fingers. Smirking wickedly, I tightened my grip. She whined.  
  
“Pierre…”  
  
Chuckling, I pinched the tiny nub firmly, at the last moment stroking it hard. Her eyes widened, her body rocked and she screamed as her come hit her. I watched her face as she arched up, body shuddering. Her eyes were now open, rolling slightly. She was whimpering as she finally began to come down.  
  
I glanced up at her bound wrists; somehow, Marly had managed to grip hold of the belt and was using it to support her shaking body.  
  
Smiling, I leaned down and pressed my lips to her stomach, just below her belly button. Trailing my lips slowly over her body, I moved up dragging my cock over her inner thigh, letting it bump against her pussy. A tremor raced through her and sent shockwaves through my own body. Growling, I nipped at her collarbone. Then nuzzled against her neck and murmured low in her ear.  
  
“My turn now…”  
  
Marly only moaned in response. Propping my upper body above her, I reached down, guided my cock between her legs, and nudged the head against the outer folds of her pussy. Rocking slowly, coating myself with her juices. I wanted to make this last, this _was_  our last night together. So, I slid the head over the entrance deliberately, teasing her. Marly groaned and arched up against me.  
  
Shit. I couldn’t keep this up. I had to get inside her, feel her wrapped around me. I was so fucking hard. My cock was as stiff as a steel rod. Shifting, I slid my hands to Marly’s hips grasping them firmly, holding her still. Slowly, steadily I pushed against her pussy watching as she slowly opened to me. The outer folds spread as I sunk down inside her, the walls clenching around my cock.  
  
Damn, it’s such a turn on for me watching while I fuck her…or any chick really.  
  
 _Shit…focus, Bouvier…_  Gritting my teeth I inched my cock inside her, pushing slowly. Halfway, I halted and let out a throaty groan, tightening my grip on her hips.  
  
“Fuck…” I moaned.  
  
“Pierre…” Marly looked up at me questioningly. I breathed hard, slowly twisting my cock inside her, still not going all the way inside. She whined. “Pierre…please…”  
  
I love it when she begs…it’s so…erotic…Staring down at her I waited for a minute longer, bracing my hands on either side of her hips, no longer holding her. Marly groaned and lifted her hips up to mine, wrapping her legs around my waist. Fuck. That was all it took. As she arched up against me, I thrust down all the way, until my balls were resting on her ass.  
  
“Fuck…” Hissing through my teeth, as her pussy closed around my cock, like a velvet vice. “Fuck…” I repeated harshly, voice strained in desire. She was so tight, almost as if she was…still a virgin. Guess that’s what gets me most excited when I’m fucking her.  
  
“Pierre…” She moaned again, moving against me. Guess she needed this badly.  
  
I felt her lock her ankles together at my back;  _merde_ …that changed the angle that my cock sat inside her and felt so fucking good. I could push deeper, the head pressing against her cervix.  
  
“God…so tight…”  
  
I growled deep in my throat and slowly began to pull out until only the tip of my dick was inside her. The inner lips tight around the head of my cock, pulsing around me. Smirking faintly, I thrust back into her, plunging all the way without stopping. Marly cried out as I pushed my dick up against her cervix with a low snarl.  
  
Slipping my arms under her ass and lifting her up off the bed, I began to move hard and fast inside her. Pounding into her, balls slapping against her ass at each hard thrust. Fuck I felt so powerful. Completely dominating her, as I took her hard. She was shaking in my arms. And fuck…I was so close. My balls were tight.  
  
Groaning, I quickened the pace, my thrusts becoming shallower, harder. Marly moved with me, clenching her pussy walls in just the right places. The friction was awesome.  
  
“Pierre…” she moaned, and tugged at the belt around her wrists.  
  
Grinding my jaw tight, shut, holding back, shivering on the edge, I reached up and unhooked the belt whipping it away from her wrists. She whimpered and reached up to grab my arms. I gripped her hips and leaned down to suck at her neck. Poised still above her, her pussy pulsing around my thick length.  
  
“Ready…?” My voice was hoarse. I felt her nod against me; I thrust all the way into her, forcing my cock to brush against her clit as I bottomed out against her cervix. Her hips jerked against mine and the walls of her pussy clamped down hard around my cock. And she screamed as her orgasm exploded around me.  
  
Grabbing her hips as she thrashed beneath me, the sensation of her pussy clenching and unclenching around my dick was phenomenal…fuck…so good I just used a big word…Lowering my head and burying my face against her neck I groaned loudly as I slammed myself all the way inside her pussy. A twitch, one single twitch and suddenly, I exploded deep inside her, releasing my load.  
  
Marly’s grip tightened on my biceps, fingers digging into the hard muscles. I moaned, still rocking in and out, until I had softened. Breathing hard, I balanced above her looking down into her face. Her eyes were open, bright.  
  
I frowned, narrowing my eyes; there were tiny drops of sweat on her forehead. I was definitely sweating like a dog.  
  
 _Do dogs even sweat…?_  
  
Shaking my head a little, I looked even closer to her face. Blinking I noticed a wetness clinging to her lashes. Gently, I brushed my thumb across her eyelids. Then I withdrew and rolled onto my side, pulling her against my chest.  
  
An hour later, I lay on my back staring up at the ceiling. Marly’s cheek was resting against my chest, long black hair splayed like a dark halo around her head. Several strands stuck to her skin and mine; sweat coated us both. She was drifting in and out of sleep. Whilst she rested against my chest, myriad thoughts floated in my mind.  
  
Tomorrow she was leaving my life for a long time. Not forever, fuck no. Our paths would cross again. That was a fact. I’d made sure of that. The Guild understood my responsibilities. Of course as far as Marly was concerned this  _was_  forever. She was going to Australia and she was never coming back. Uh-uh, she’d be back. But…it wouldn’t be a good thing…not for her…  
  
Sighing, I stroked my fingers through her hair. I didn’t really want to think too far into the future. Time enough for that. Heh, she hadn’t even left yet. She shifted against me and murmured drowsily.  
  
“Pierre…?”  
  
“Hmmm?” I looked down in her eyes and smiled softly. Marly slung an arm over my stomach and sighed. I brushed my fingers lightly over her cheek. “Sweet Pea?”  
  
She sniffled and clung to me tight, trembling a little.  
  
“Hey…” Whispering, touching fingertips to her chin and making her look at me. “It’ll be okay…”  
  
“No,” she sobbed. “I don’t want to leave you…”  
  
“Marly.”  
  
She looked up at me. There were tears in her eyes.  
  
“Marly.” Repeating her name, my voice was deep, quiet. Apparently, when I’m serious my pitch deepens. I can even hear it. Guess it’s true. “You have no choice. I have no choice. This is just the way it is.”  
  
Y’know, I think I’m going straight to Hell. Yes, it’s true, there are no options for her. But I have all the choice in the world. The decision to send her away, was entirely mine. Not anyone else’s. But, I’m way too good at lying. Sighing, I gently traced a hand over her cheek. She sniffed again and looked down. Rubbing her shoulder, I pulled her close against me.  
  
“Go to sleep…” I ordered softly. She shivered against me. “Marly…”  
  
She giggled.  
  
“What?”  
  
Marly smiled weakly up at me.  
  
“That’s the third time you’ve said my name.”  
  
I chuckled wryly. “Indeed…I don’t want to forget it.”  
  
She smiled, then yawned softly.  
  
“Sleep,” I repeated firmly. She nodded against my chest, snuggling close. Trailing my fingers through her hair, I observed silently as she drifted into sleep, muttering softly. I leaned close to catch what she was saying.  
  
“Love you…so much…”  
  
Drawing back, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes tight and let it out in one whoosh of air.  
  
Yup. Book my ticket to Hell.


	7. Remove the mask and look within the reality

_**Saturday 17th March, 2007  
  
Flight 309 to Australia via Los Angeles  
9 AM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
The whir of the engines seemed almost surreal to me. Seated in an aisle seat, I gripped the armrests for dear life. I had been on planes before but I had been travelling with Pierre and the rest of the band. This was much different. I was alone going somewhere I had never been before, and I was being taken away from everything and everyone I had ever known. And before you say, ‘but Simple Plan has been to Australia’, you have to understand I wasn’t allowed to go on any of the band’s international tours. I was not permitted outside of Canada or the USA.  
  
“You alright, sweetie?”  
  
I glanced up at the flight attendant, who was standing next to my seat, a warm smile on his face. A male flight attendant, even that notion was alien to me. Swallowing hard, I nodded. Guess I didn’t convince him. He crouched down next to me and tilted his head. He had very bright blue eyes. Actually, they reminded me of Seb’s eyes. He frowned a little.  
  
“I don’t mean to pry…but you look nervous. Have you not flown before?”  
  
I laughed self-consciously.  
  
“I guess that’s a yes, eh?” He smiled sincerely. He said ‘eh’ like a Canadian, but his accent told me otherwise. Rubbing at my face, I shrugged.  
  
“Am I that obvious?”  
  
He chuckled, kindly.  
  
“I’ve been taking this trip a long time. I see all sorts.” He patted the armrest lightly. “I always recognise a first-timer.”  
  
Flushing a little I didn’t bother correcting him. He didn’t need to know the truth. I smiled weakly at him. He glanced up slightly as another passenger squeezed passed him; then he looked back at me.  
  
“Where in Oz are you headed?”  
  
“Oz?”  
  
“Aussie Land…Australia,” he grinned. I scratched my face thoughtfully.  
  
“Fremantle? I think. Western Australia.”  
  
“Really? That’s where I come from. You have friends there?”  
  
I was about to say ‘no’ when I remembered that Kav and the other guys from Eskimo Joe originated from there. I nodded, smiling.  
  
“Yeah, I hope to catch up with them when I get there.” Hanging on to that thought, I felt my body relax. I wouldn’t be all that lonesome, especially if I could manage to track them down. Who knew if they’d even be there? I could only hope.  
  
“Well,” the flight attendant stood up, “I’d better get ready for the safety demo…” he rolled his eyes. “Oh, by the way…the name’s John.”  
  
“Mine’s Marly…” I whispered, as I managed to remove my hands from the armrests, folding them in my lap.  
  
“Nice to have met you.” He gave me one last smile then headed back up the aisle to get the gear for the safety demonstration. I sat back and closed my eyes. I’d heard the little safety spiel so many times on Domestic flights within Canadian and American borders that I didn’t bother listening. Having an eye for detail, I had already located the closest emergency exit to my seat. So, I just relaxed in my seat and tried not to think, too much, about what my future was going to bring.  
  
 _ **Guild of Dominants & Submissives  
  
Montreal  
  
Same day 9 AM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
I’m fucking wrecked. It feels like someone took a jackhammer to my skull. And I only have myself to blame. That’s what happens when you decide to get shitfaced. You see, after Marly fell asleep and I could tell she wasn’t going to wake I went out to have a few drinks with the guys. The Eskimo Joe guys shouted us. It was their last night…they headed back to Australia on an early flight this morning. Anyhow, I guess I drank a lot more than I had planned to and now my head felt like it was going to explode.  
  
Anyway, sitting here in this tiny ass office isn’t doing me any good. But I haven’t got much choice. I just got here, ten minutes ago, from seeing Marly off at the airport. She was an absolute mess. Wouldn’t let go of me. Of course I let her hang on and told her I’d find some way to get us back together. Which, really, is a given. But she doesn’t know that.  
  
I’m fixing to get Eskimo Joe’s details so I can contact them. Probably wondering why. Well, I’ll tell you for nothing. Like I just mentioned, they headed back to Australia where they’re based in Fremantle, Western Australia. And guess what? That’s where the Guild is sending Marly. Now you’re probably asking how I know that when I’m not supposed to know. Well, the thing is…I  _am_  supposed to know that. Pretty simple really. I’m not going to explain why though. Even though you’d probably be able to guess. Anyway, I reckon I could convince Kev…Kav…to keep an eye on her for me and make sure she’s okay. Make sure I don’t lose her. Can’t…lose her…  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
I glanced up dragging myself out of my thoughts. Jake was standing in the doorway a confused expression in his eyes.  
  
“What are you doing here?”  
  
I shrugged. Explaining myself to Jake really was not on the top of my priority list. He entered the office and sat on the only other chair in the room. He looked worried for some reason. I tilted my head at him.  
  
“What are  _you_  doing here, Jake?” Throwing his question back at him.  
  
“I work here.”  
  
“Right, of course.” I couldn’t help but sneer a little. “So do I.”  
  
“Huh?” He scowled at me. Wasn’t that clear enough for him?  
  
“I said, so do I.” Leaning my elbows on the desk I clasped my hands together and propped my chin on top of them. He blinked at me.  
  
“You’re name doesn’t show up on the employee list.”  
  
Smirking, I rolled my eyes.  
  
“It’s unofficial.”  
  
“Since when?” The poor guy really couldn’t get a grip on the concept that I actually had every right to be sitting here. But then again, it’s not like anyone would have told him. In fact, only a select few in the Guild even knew I was on the payroll. Those few were the only ones who needed to know.  
  
“Since…I turned 21.” I spoke flatly, staring hard at him. Jake blinked again. His dark eyes were suddenly critical.  
  
“Why are you here now? You’re not going to try and find where the Guild has sent Marly? Because I assume you saw her off this morning. Someone from the Guild would’ve collected her from your place.”  
  
I had to prevent the laughter that was threatening to bubble up in my chest. Jake had no idea. There  _was_  no Guild Official. The whole thing had been left in my hands. Of course, I’d had to make up a story to explain why no one from the Guild came to escort Marly to the airport. She had asked. So, I made up some cock and bull story about how no one was available because there had been a last minute meeting, or something. Maintaining my stony expression, I replied quietly to Jake’s comment.  
  
“I already know where she’s going.”  
  
“Well, of course…she’s going to Australia. I told you both that before.”  
  
“No, Jake. I mean I know  _exactly_  where she’ll be.”  
  
He stared at me incredulously.  
  
“How could you? Only the Panel knows that.”  
  
I smirked nastily.  
  
“Don’t let it bother you, Jake. I’m not gonna do anything with the information. Not much point really.” That was a lie. The real reason I wasn’t going to do anything was that it was against the law. At least it would be for the next few months.  
  
Currently the Panel was in the process of writing up a new Bill wherein that law would change. Jake didn’t know this because he hadn’t been told, yet. I knew because our family was a stakeholder in Guild Shares.  _And_  I sat on the Guild Committee. Once the Bill was in place, I would be able to do anything I wanted regarding Marly’s whereabouts.  
  
Jake took his bottom lip between his teeth a thoughtful expression on his face.  
  
“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but you don’t seem particularly upset.”  
  
Shrugging, I leaned back in the large office chair, crossing my arms over my chest.  
  
“Should I be?”  
  
He was surprised by the question.  
  
“You were real pissed off before.”  
  
“The Guild pisses me off.”  
  
“Oh? How so?”  
  
I sniffed.  
  
“They’re never consistent. They’re so hard ass about the whole falling in love with a slave thing, but when I told them the truth they said if I waited I could do whatever I wanted.” I knew perfectly well that what I had just said would make no sense to Jake, whatsoever. Yet, it felt good saying it.  
  
“How do you mean?”  
  
Shaking my head, I pushed out of the chair and walked over to the window. I stared up at the sky, clouds were scattered across the wide blue expanse.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
“I really don’t think you need to know that.”  
  
“Heh. You’d be wrong. Tell me what you mean.”  
  
I scowled his way.  
  
“I never loved her, you know.”  
  
“What?” Jake was genuinely shocked. Good for him. Returning to my contemplation of the clouds, I gripped the windowsill and rocked slightly.  
  
“You heard me.”  
  
“Then why the hell did you tell her you did?”  
  
Shrugging, I replied as honestly as I could.  
  
“I thought I did. Back then. But I realised after I freed her that I didn’t truly love her. I couldn’t. She was a slave.  _Is_  a slave.”  
  
“Don’t you mean sub? You pushed the change of policy.”  
  
I turned to face him then.  
  
“You’re right I did. But no, I did mean slave.”  
  
Jake seemed uncomfortable with the revelation. He rubbed both hands through his hair.  
  
“You lied to her.”  
  
“ _Oui_.”  
  
“For two years.”  
  
“Much longer than that. I was lying to her the whole time…from when I first started feeling anything toward her. Lied to myself too.” When I say that I mean that I had managed to convince myself that I actually did love Marly. And so, I had felt all the emotions that went along with it. Including the guilty rage when she had been taken from me.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“So she’d trust me.” Well, that’s the simple reason.  
  
“You just said she  _is_  a slave. How can she be if you freed her?”  
  
I stared at him. I couldn’t…wouldn’t answer that question. Walking back to the desk I grabbed up the phone.  
  
“I have a call to make.”  
  
Jake, being the smart guy he is, got the hint and stood up getting ready to leave.  
  
“I’ll talk to you later.”  
  
I waved my hand dismissively as I listened to the dial tone. And then the click as the phone was lifted off its hook.  
  
 _“Hey, Kav speaking.”_  
  
 _ **Tuesday 20th March, 2007  
  
Perth, Western Australia  
  
Perth International Airport  
  
3 AM (Perth Time)  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Rubbing sleep from my eyes, clutching my carryon bag close to my chest, I walked slowly into the airport. People rushed passed me and I watched tiredly as they were greeted by relatives, friends. I scanned the throng of people to see if anyone had come to meet me. Pierre had said someone would be there. But, I couldn’t see anyone.  
  
My chest felt tight, and a lump formed in my throat. I was alone. And afraid. What was I supposed to do if no one came for me? I didn’t know where I was supposed to go. Looking around once more, I finally gave up and began to make my way down to the baggage carousel.  
  
“Hey? You look kinda lost…”  
  
As I was about to step on the escalator, the flight attendant from the plane, John stepped up next to me. I glanced up at him and smiled faintly.  
  
“Yeah…someone was supposed to meet me. But, I can’t see them.”  
  
“Heh, maybe they’re waiting down at the baggage collection.”  
  
I nodded slightly. I hadn’t thought of that possibility.  
  
“Thanks, you’re probably right.”  
  
John smiled. “Look, if no one shows, maybe I could give you a lift?”  
  
I cast a grateful look his way.  
  
“Thanks. I’d appreciate that.”  
  
He remained by my side all the way down the escalator and walked with me to the baggage carousel. He was about to ask me which bag was mine as the bags revolved on the carousel, when I heard a voice call out my name.  
  
“Marly!”  
  
I glanced round, frowning. I knew that voice.  
  
“Marly!” I blinked; jogging toward me a broad smile on his face was Kav. I froze and then darted toward him and flung myself into his arms.  
  
“Kav…oh my God!”  
  
He squeezed me gently around the waist.  
  
“Pierre called me.” He said in response to my questioning look. I smiled up into his face. Then stepped back and rubbed at my cheek.  
  
“I’m glad…I was worried no one was going to come for me.”  
  
Kav chuckled gently, “Heh, no worries. I’m glad to be of help. Now, where’re your bags?”  
  
“I think I found them,” John interrupted our reunion. Kav stared at him.  
  
“And you are?”  
  
“Oh, sorry.” He stuck out his hand. “John. I was one of the flight attendants on her flight.”  
  
“Sweet.” Kav gripped his hand then looked at me. “Made a new friend already.”  
  
I blushed. He laughed gently and took my two suitcases that John handed over to him.  
  
“Um,” John frowned a little. “I’ve seen you before…”  
  
“Me?” Kav looked at him.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Heh…everyone’s seen me before.” Kav rolled his eyes then turned to me. “Come on. I’m taking you back to my place. Sheri is dieing to meet you.”  
  
I tilted my head at him.  
  
“My wife,” he added with a warm smile. Judging by the expression that came into his eyes, he was obviously very much in love with her. I smiled and nodded. But as we made to move off, John finally figured out where he’d seen Kav last.  
  
“Hey, you’re in Eskimo Joe.”  
  
We both looked back at him. John scratched his head.  
  
“I’m a fan.”  
  
Kav smirked.  
  
“Good for you.” He tipped his fingers in a salute to the other man then gently ushered me ahead of him. Turning back slightly, I waved to John. After all, I felt that I had to acknowledge him. He had been nice to me, and I had needed that. But now, I was with Kav. I was sure that from now on, everything would be all right. But, I guess only time would reveal whether that would be the case.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **Temperley Residence  
  
5 AM**_  
  
“Well, here we are.” Kav stopped the car and helped me out. I gazed at the building before me. It was a single-storey California Bungalow, which looked as if it had been renovated in the last few years. The outside walls were painted a soft mango orange. It gave a warm inviting impression.  
  
In the dawn light, everything still seemed unreal to me. I guess the fact that I was feeling tired didn’t help. I looked at Kav who had a soft smile on his face. This was home to him. I had a feeling he didn’t see the place as much as he wanted. Being in a band and all. I knew how that was. Pierre always felt the same. I blinked pushing that thought away. I didn’t want to think about him. I’d cry if I did.  
  
Kav caught me looking at him then and smiled crookedly.  
  
“Okay there?”  
  
I yawned.  
  
“Just tired.” I didn’t feel up to saying any more than that.  
  
“I bet. 30 hour round trip from Montreal…it’s a long journey.”  
  
He led me through the front door. The hallway was lit by the soft glow of a lamp that was perched on top of a table next to the entrance. It was silent.  
  
“Sheri’ll be asleep…you’ll meet her in the morning...in a few hours I suppose… Come on, I’ll show you your room.”  
  
Nodding, I followed as he trundled down a small corridor, halted halfway down and pushed open a door on the left. It opened into a relatively large guest room. A double bed took up a quarter of the room. The doona cover had a picture of a black swan on it, wings spread, neck curved, beak open in a hissing action.  
  
However, the bed looked extremely attractive to me right at that moment. I just wanted to climb under the covers, fall into a deep sleep, and never wake up again. Or, preferably, wake up to find that this was all a bad dream and that I would find myself lying with Pierre back home in Montreal.  
  
I felt tears stinging the corners of my eyes at that thought and I crumpled onto the floor before I could reach the bed and began sobbing quietly. I sensed Kav hesitating in the doorway and then he was next to me and put an arm around my shoulders.  
  
“Marly…” His voice was gentle. I didn’t think I could handle that. Pushing his arm away, I managed to stand. He blinked, a flash of hurt in his eyes. Swallowing, I glanced apologetically at him.  
  
“I’m sorry, Kav…I…just want to be alone…”  
  
“That’s, that’s fine.” He shrugged it off and tipped his fingers to his forehead. “See ya in the morning… ’kay?”  
  
I nodded. “Um…Kav…”  
  
He stopped just before closing the door and peered at me.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Thanks…for this.”  
  
He grinned.  
  
“You’re welcome.”  
  
He let the door click shut behind him. I was finally alone. Shuffling over to the bed, I collapsed onto the bedspread and lay staring up at the ceiling. More tears welled in my eyes. I didn’t want to be here. I wanted so badly to be back in Montreal with Pierre. Wanted to feel his strong arms around me, supporting me, comforting me…I still had no idea why the Guild decided to send me away.  
  
That crap about wanting me to start a new life without Pierre’s influence, I didn’t see what difference it would make. He would always influence me. Wherever I went. Whether I was with him or not. After all, he’d been a significant part of my life, for a long time. I’d belonged to him, completely. He knew every inch of my body, my mind. How could he not influence me? I’d still hear his voice in my head, advising me, giving me encouragement. This was just stupid. Stupid…but real. And I would have to just learn to deal with it.  
  
Yawning, I closed my eyes. There would be plenty of time tomorrow to worry about what I was going to do. The weight of sorrow and exhaustion was getting to me and I just needed to sleep. Darkness slowly enveloped me in its velvety embrace, and I remembered nothing more as I slipped into a dreamless sleep.  
  
 _ **Monday 19th March, 2007  
  
Montreal  
  
Bouvier Apartment  
  
2 PM (Mont time)  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
 _Fuck, this sucks. I can’t think. Does Chuck seriously think I can pen a whole song in two hours._  
  
I groaned, leaning back against the chair in front of my mini studio set-up. I had a keyboard, my laptop and a few guitars scattered around my workstation. I also had my microphone set up so I could instantly record if I wanted. Not very glamorous to tell the truth.  
  
I need a drink. That’s what I really, really, want right now. I don’t want to be sitting here. I’d much rather be on some beach in Brazil, with a hot chick. Rochelle springs to mind. Speaking of which…I dug in my back pocket, pulled my cell phone from my pocket and flipped it open. Scrolling through the phonebook, I found her number and frowned. I’d promised her that I would call her once Marly had been sent off to Australia.  
  
 _Marly…_  
  
Just this morning, David had bugged me about her whereabouts. Obviously, I didn’t tell him the whole truth. Just the same reason we’d given Benji. David wouldn’t give it up though. He kept asking why she hadn’t just stayed here. Or why I hadn’t gone with her. Well, obviously I couldn’t do the latter…we have a fucking record to write. Luckily, his sister called him so he left me alone after that. Speaking of which…  
  
As I made to press speed dial, the phone rang in my hand. I scowled when I read the I.D.  _Chuck._  
  
“Yeah, I’m fucking writing!” I snapped angrily. I almost felt him recoil on the other end of the line.  
  
 _“Whoa…sorry…just thought you wanted to take a break? Come over?”_  
  
“Um…” I scratched my jaw, feeling a little bad for yelling at him, softening my voice. “Well, I guess…just want to try and get my head round some more lyrics first…”  
  
 _“Don’t force it, man…I’m sorry that I pressured you so hard. I didn’t know about Marly…David just told me.”_  
  
I blinked.  _Fuck…that’s who I forgot to tell…_ “Uh…it’s no big deal…”  
  
 _“Oh? I’d ask you what you mean…but I’m guessing it’s not something that should be done over the phone, eh.”_  
  
I groaned.  
  
“Yeah…right.”  
  
I knew I had to tell Chuck the truth. He’d always known that Marly had been my property. At any rate, he’d understand my motives.  
  
“Right,” I repeated, “I’ll come over in another hour, okay?”  
  
“Oui,  _see ya then…don’t force it, it’ll come when it comes.”_  
  
I smirked as I hung up. Sometimes Chuck says the most stupid things. It makes me laugh. Still, he’s my best friend. And he’s fucking amazing with the band and all. A great writer, and a boost to my own…ego. And I knew he’d understand. He always had. We’d been friends too long for him not to.  
  
Stretching, then rolling my head, I decided I couldn’t write anything else. Looking at the phone that I still held in my hand, I debated whether I should ring Rochelle. It wasn’t like I really needed any. Fuck, I definitely didn’t need anything. Yeah right. I’m a guy. I always need a little something, something. I guess ‘need’ really isn’t the right word. More like…I wanted something. Still, I’d told Chuck I’d be at his place in an hour. No time to call Rochelle. She could wait a little longer. Heh, she was definitely well worth the wait.  
  
Flipping the phone shut, I tucked it into my jeans pocket and stood. Casting around the room, I grabbed my wallet and keys. And a jacket. It would be cold out. Hesitating before heading out the door, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror above the vanity. My hair appeared to be getting longer by the minute. And the stubble on my jaw…I looked like a hobo. Fuck…maybe not that bad. Still. I looked a wreck. Rubbing a hand over my jaw, I rolled my eyes then turned and strode from the room.  
  
 _ **Chuck’s Basement  
  
3 PM**_  
  
The lights had blown. I’d only been here for half an hour. Chuck and I were sitting in the dark, he was trying to find all his notes; I was fumbling with the tab on my can of beer. I finally popped it open. But it sprayed all over me.  
  
“Fuck…”  
  
Chuck looked at me, squinting through his glasses. I shook my head and wiped my hand over my face. He continued to stare at me.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on, Pierre?”  
  
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Like I didn’t actually know. In the dim light that crept from under the basement door, I could see the deep frown on my friend’s face. He removed his glasses and cleaned them on the edge of his T-shirt before putting them back on.  
  
“What you said to me on the phone…about Marly.”  
  
Right.  
  
“Does it matter?” I was stalling. I knew once I told the truth there would be no going back. It would be out. And I’d have to deal with the repercussions. And I’m not just talking about what I told Jake. No, there’s so much more than that going on.  
  
Chuck groaned.  
  
“Of course it matters.” He leaned forward and squinted severely at me. “I think I have the right to know.”  
  
“Yeah right. How d’ya figure that?” Challenging him, I waited curiously for his answer. He sighed heavily as if it was all too much.  
  
“Because, I’m the only one other than your family who knew she was your slave for most of her life. So, why the ‘I could care less that she’s gone’ attitude?”  
  
I snorted.  
  
“Cause, I could care less.” I smirked as I took a swig of beer.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Do I need to repeat myself, Comeau?” I glared at him. Chuck looked away.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Good.”  
  
I heard him take several deep breaths before he said anything further.  
  
“Will you tell me why?”  
  
I shifted on the lounge, getting comfortable. Then I set the beer on the table and clasped my hands behind my head.  
  
“Well, first of all…I don’t love her. Never have…never will.”  
  
I glanced at Chuck from the corner of my eyes, gauging his reaction. His face was impassive. Guess he was going to hear me out first before passing judgement. Scrunching my fingertips into my hair, I frowned slightly.  
  
“Um…she’s still my property. Those documents…the ones I got Jake to sign. They were false. I mean, they looked real enough…fooled everyone. In fact, they  _were_  real release forms. Confusing, eh? It’s just that I needed the insurance. It was cheaper for me if I didn’t actually free her. In writing she was free; however, hidden policy stated otherwise.”  
  
I chuckled softly. He just continued to look at me. I sighed.  
  
“Put simply, she’s still my slave. Meaning, I can do whatever I want with her.”  
  
“Like, sending her away?” Chuck finally said. His tone was strained. “Why would you do that?”  
  
I cleared my throat before answering.  
  
“I’ve been seeing someone on the side.”  
  
“I see.” That was all he said. Just one simple statement. Yet, it conveyed so much meaning. Understanding, acceptance, the fact that he would always support me. He nodded. “What’s her name?”  
  
I smiled and tilted my head back, closing my eyes, picturing her in my mind.  
  
“Rochelle. You’ve met her.”  
  
“Oh yeah…at the strip club? She’s hot. Damn, you get all the luck.”  
  
I laughed, feeling my body relax, not even realising that I’d tensed up. Fuck, I felt much better having let that out. That part at least. The next part would be a lot easier now.  
  
“Yeah, I guess I do. Still…that’s not the whole story.”  
  
Chuck smirked. “It never is as far as your sex life’s concerned.”  
  
“Funny.”  
  
“I thought so.”  
  
I pushed him in the shoulder; he slapped me back then stood up before I could retaliate.  
  
“So, what’s the rest of the story?”  
  
“Well, Marly thinks she’ll never see me again. But she will.” I hesitated. “Before the end of this year.”  
  
“When are you going to get to Australia?”  
  
“Before the end of this year.” I repeated quietly. “But she won’t know.”  
  
“You’re not going to let her know beforehand?”  
  
“Of course not. She’s a fucking slave. Why should I tell her?”  
  
I could feel Chuck’s eyes burning a hole in my head. I could see his outline, but the damned lack of light was not helping.  
  
“But she doesn’t know that. She believes she’s free, right.”  
  
“Oh, she’ll find out soon enough that she’s still a sub,” I growled low in my throat. “In a couple of weeks…months…”  
  
Silence. I sensed a change in Chuck. He was upset by what I’d just said. He was breathing harshly.  
  
“ _Tabernack_ …you are an asshole. You know that, Pierre!”  
  
I just shrugged. “Whatever. I do what I have to do.”  
  
“Yeah?” Chuck riled at me. “And what is it you have to do, eh?”  
  
I replied without hesitation, my voice cold.  
  
“What I should’ve done when I thought I’d fallen in love with her.” Even in the darkness, I saw his face go as white as a sheet. I added softly, “What you wanted the authorities to do to her in the first instant, if you haven’t forgotten.”  
  
“No.” His face was drawn, “No, I remember.” He laughed bitterly. “If I recall correctly, you told me you’d make me pay for wanting to have her killed.”  
  
Shrugging again, I absently twisted the hem of my T-shirt.  
  
“Yeah, well…I was stupid and naïve back then. Now I know different. You were right. She should’ve died.”  
  
Chuck rubbed furiously at his jaw.  
  
“No. I was wrong, Pierre.”  
  
I laughed.  
  
“No. You were right. Look, man. I thought I loved her. But, I realise now that that’s not the case. I mean…I could never imagine marrying her or anything like that. She’s a fucking slave for God’s sake. I own her. A proper relationship would never work. However, me and Rochelle…” I trailed off allowing images of Rochelle to flash behind my eyelids. “Shit, I could picture myself with her for the rest of my life.”  
  
Opening my eyes again I lifted my eyebrows at Chuck. He was shaking.  
  
“ _Merde_ …you’re fucking unbelievable…” His jaw was clenched so tight it caused a pained light to flicker in his eyes. “I can’t…I don’t…fuck…”  
  
Chuck moaned in frustration and shook his head at me. I waited as he took several steadying breaths. Then he glowered angrily in my direction.  
  
“I think you’d better go.”  
  
I blinked.  
  
“Huh?” I’d heard him. And I guess I agreed with him, but I waited for an explanation.  
  
Chuck waved his hand around his head.  
  
“I can’t…” He sighed, wearily, obviously sick of talking to me, “Just fuck off.”  
  
He turned his back on me and stumbled over to his drum kit, cursing loudly as he banged into boxes and amps. I knew there wasn’t much point in staying. I’d said my piece. He knew now. He obviously wasn’t happy about it. But, I never really asked for that. I just had to tell someone; he’d asked me what was going on. And I knew regardless of how pissed he was at me, Chuck did understand. And that was good enough for me.


	8. False sense of security

_**Tuesday 20th March, 2007  
  
Temperley Residence  
  
Noon  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
The warbling of magpies outside the kitchen window was somehow calming. To think that the almost melodious sounds came from a bird that looks like it’s related to crows is pretty amazing.  
  
Sheri, Kav’s wife, pointed out one of the medium-sized black and white birds to me, just a moment ago. It was an adult male with a wicked looking beak, and beady intelligent eyes. It was prancing about on the lawn probably searching for its lunch. And speaking of food, Sheri had made me a lovely Caesar Salad with fresh green lettuce and real bacon pieces.  
  
As I ate, she bustled around the kitchen chatting away. I just smiled and nodded, too overwhelmed to really take any of it in. Sheri was one of those bubbly personalities. Always happy and extremely outgoing. I hadn’t met many women like her. I suppose because, as a former slave I never really had much contact with my own sex. It was somewhat refreshing, but also a little unsettling.  
  
She was also very beautiful. Long, honey blonde hair fell just short of her waist. Her eyes were a bright aqua green and sparkled with perpetual joy.  
  
I was pulled from my thoughts when I absently lifted my gaze from the bowl and met her bright probing look.  
  
“So, I’ve been blabbering on…tell me about you?” Sheri perched on a stool opposite me clutching a muesli bar in one hand. Her eyes were soft and I sensed that she sincerely wanted to get to know me.  
  
I had no idea where to begin. I mean Kav knew about my past. Well, at least that Pierre used to own me and that I had been born a slave. But I didn’t know whether Sheri would understand. So, I decided to tell her the story that Pierre and I had made up many years ago. I glanced up at her, hesitantly, before speaking.  
  
“Well, I was born in Montreal…lived there my whole life. Um…I was orphaned from an early age and was fostered, by Pierre’s family.” I smiled faintly. “Pierre and I ended up together…”  
  
Sheri nodded, expression warm, just listening and allowing me to talk.  
  
“We’ve been together for over two years. And…my leaving him has nothing to do with our relationship. It’s just that I want to pursue my education over here in Australia. My professor from Montreal has moved over here to teach. So, I followed.”  
  
“Wow, that’s dedication for you,” Sheri observed. I flushed a little and lowered my gaze.  
  
“Yeah, I guess it is. I’m just…” I looked up again and stared boldly at her, “determined to do well and make something of myself.” To prove to them back at the Guild that I _can_  do something with my life regardless of what they do to me.  
  
“So what is it you’re studying?”  
  
“Education and sociology. I want to be a teacher. I had to do a lot of bridging courses back in Montreal because I hadn’t completed high school…” Hadn’t even been to school. Like I’d ever had the chance…the only lessons I learned was at the Centre before I went to live with the Bouvier’s.  
  
Pierre had had to pull a lot of strings to get the College to take me in. And I was grateful that he had gone to all that trouble for me. But then again, he loved me, so why wouldn’t he? “Anyway,” I continued, “Pierre organised my enrolment at, um…Murdoch University. That’s where my Prof is lecturing.”  
  
“Is Pierre the Pierre I think you’re talking about?”  
  
I looked quizzically at her.  
  
“Hasn’t Kav told you about him?”  
  
Sheri nodded slowly. “Yeah, he’s the front man of Simple Plan, right?”  
  
“ _Oui_. He is.”  
  
I closed my eyes for a moment, picturing his large soulful brown eyes. I shivered faintly and rested my forehead against my arms for a moment. I could hear Sheri shifting slightly on her stool. I didn’t look up.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to upset you…”  
  
“No…it’s okay…” my voice was muffled. “I just…miss him…wish he were here…”  
  
“You should call him.”  
  
I looked up then. “But, it’ll be midnight there…he’ll probably be asleep.”  
  
Sheri laughed, it seemed to tinkle in the air between us.  
  
“No offence, hun. But most guys in bands that I know…will probably be awake at that time of night. I know Kav normally is.”  
  
I frowned. “Yeah, but I know Pierre…”  
  
She shrugged slightly.  
  
“Give it a try…the worst that could happen is that you wake him up. I bet he won’t mind.” She leaned over the bench and grabbed the landline, holding it out to me. “Here, use our phone.”  
  
“Are you sure…it’ll cost a lot…”  
  
“No worries. I don’t mind. And I know Kav won’t either.”  
  
I blinked, a sudden wetness in my eyes. I was overwhelmed by her generosity.  
  
“Thankyou…”  
  
Wiping my eyes, I took the phone from her and dialled Pierre’s number.  
  
* * * * *  
  
An unfamiliar voice answered after several rings.  
  
 _“Hello, Pie’s phone.”_  It was a woman’s voice.  
  
“Uh…hello? Is Pierre there?” I thought I could hear a second person on the other end of the line, faint but recognisable.  _Pierre_. But who was the woman?  
  
 _“Um…no…sorry, dear…he’s kinda busy…ah, Pierre stop that…I’m on the phone…sorry, hun…want me to leave a message?”_  
  
I blinked.  
  
 _Busy? At midnight?_  “No…I want to talk to Pierre. Who are you?” I snapped. Laughter on the other end. Pierre’s voice.  
  
 _“Chelle…who is it…?”  
  
“I don’t know, babe…uh…who are you anyway?”_  
  
A chill coursed down my spine.  
  
 _I might ask the same of you_ …I swallowed passed a lump that had formed in my throat.  
  
“Marly. A friend of Pierre’s.” I decided not to give away more than that, waiting.  
  
 _“Oh? Pierre…it’s Marly.”_  
  
There was a sudden silence on the other end of the line and then Pierre cursed in the background.  
  
 _“Fuck…give me the phone…”_  The sound of the phone being passed over and then his deep voice was echoing directly in my ear.  _“Marlz…I’m sorry about that…how are you? Got there safely?”_  
  
“Who was that, Pierre?” My voice shook, not bothering to answer his questions. I noticed Sheri watching me with raised eyebrows. I shook my head at her as I waited for an explanation. Pierre sighed heavily on the other end. He sounded weary. But then again that wasn’t surprising, it was the middle of the night over there.  
  
 _“Rochelle, this new publicist Chuck organised…to promote our new album.”_  
  
I took a deep breath then let it out slowly.  
  
“But you haven’t even started recording yet.”  
  
 _“I know. I just thought it’d be a good idea to bring her in early and go over what she’ll have to do once the album is done.”_  
  
I so wanted to believe him. But I had a feeling there was more to this Rochelle than he was letting on. Still, I knew he loved me. He wouldn’t see another woman while I wasn’t there, would he? He wouldn’t do that to me.  
  
But…she called him ‘babe’. Why the hell would some woman that Chuck had organised to promote the band, be getting all cosy with Pierre? And at midnight of all times. I pressed my hand over my eyes.  
  
 _“Sweet Pea, talk to me?”_  His voice had tightened. When I didn’t respond he went on, softly as if trying to reassure me.  _“Look, don’t worry about Rochelle. If you’re wondering why she’s so…familiar with me,”_  That’s exactly what I was thinking, was he some mind reader or something?  _“…it’s that Chuck and I have known her for quite a long time…she’s a close friend of the family…”_  
  
I could buy that explanation. Totally. I guess. Maybe.  
  
“I’m sorry, Pierre…it’s just…I’m kinda tired…” And worried. And wondering what the hell Rochelle is doing with you and not Chuck. He’s the one who normally deals with promoters and whatever else.  
  
 _“Heh. I’m not surprised. The trip from here to Australia is extremely tiring…it’ll take you a few days to adjust.”_  
  
His voice was calming. I could feel myself relaxing, even though a part of me was screaming that something was terribly wrong with all this. I ignored the voice inside me that was telling me that Pierre didn’t even care. Forced it away because they were just evil thoughts trying to upset me. I was jetlagged and it was affecting me in weird ways. Everything would be fine in a few days, just like Pierre said. I sighed again as Pierre kept talking.  
  
 _“I know this is hard for you…but you’ll manage. You’re my tough girl, aren’t you? I know you can get through this.”_  
  
I shivered, his voice – just hearing it made me want to bawl, but I didn’t want him to think I was weak. I was a free woman and I needed to act the part. Yet, it felt like my heart was breaking. I gripped the phone tightly and bowed my head, a tremor racing through my body.  
  
“Pierre…” I couldn’t stop the shake in my voice. “I miss you…” Silence.  
  
My heart clenched, maybe he’d dropped out. But then his reply came, low and gentle.  
  
 _“I miss you too.”_  He hesitated for a minute.  _“Look, I’d better go…I have to be up early tomorrow, because Chuck insists…”_  
  
“Heh…still as bossy as ever?”  
  
 _“Yeah, completely…talk to you later, ‘kay?”_  
  
Breathing steadily I smiled faintly then said softly, “I love you…”  
  
I waited for his response. None came; he’d already hung up and all I heard was the dial tone. My throat tightened and I finally let out a strangled sob. I let the phone drop onto the bench and I shut my eyes tight.  
  
 _He just didn’t hear you…that’s all…he does love me…he does…_  
  
I buried my face in my hands. Sheri, who had remained seated opposite me throughout the phone call, moved around and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I let her as I finally allowed myself to cry.  
  
Heaving sobs caught in my throat, and I felt I would choke on my tears. I don’t think I’d ever felt so wretched in my whole life. Calling Pierre may not have been the best idea, hearing his voice made my heart ache. And that woman…Rochelle…I had this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just wanted to be sick.  
  
Sure, Pierre said I didn’t need to worry, but my gut was telling me otherwise. She had seemed way too familiar in the way she spoke to him; and there had been something off about Pierre’s explanation.  
  
These thoughts and many more swirled mercilessly in my mind as I whimpered into my arms. The whole time, Sheri just held me, making small soothing sounds. She’d make a good mother. Eventually, I stopped making any sound and just leaned against the bench, forehead pressed against the cool granite. Sheri squeezed my shoulder and stepped away. I heard her grabbing some tissues and then felt as she pressed them into my hand. I looked up at her.  
  
“Thanks…”  
  
She smiled crookedly.  
  
“I think we need to get you out of the house.” She grabbed up her keys. “I have just the cure…clothes shopping, what do you say.”  
  
I gave a watery smile. Dabbing my eyes with the tissue, I nodded.  
  
“Sounds good…” More than good. Perhaps it’d get my mind off Pierre, at least for a while. And I did need a new wardrobe. I coughed into the tissue, then wiped my eyes again, scrunching the tissue in my hand. Sheri smiled as she grabbed a pad and scribbled something down on it.  
  
“Just leaving a note for Kav…maybe after shopping we can go out to the uni and have a squiz?”  
  
I nodded, standing.  
  
“Thanks, I’d appreciate that.” My voice already sounded much steadier. Tucking the tissue in the pocket of my jeans, I hurried back to the guest room to grab my purse and then joined Sheri as she headed for the front door.  
  
“I’ll take you into the city. The Hay Street Mall is the best place to go looking for new clothes.”  
  
I smiled faintly. “I’ll just nod and agree…”  
  
She laughed kindly.  
  
“Trust me. You’ll love it.”  
  
“Okay, I’ll trust you.” I didn’t really have much choice, did I? Not that it mattered. I believed her. And I was really just happy to get out of the house and think about something other than Pierre and whatever the hell he was doing.  
  
As I walked over to Sheri’s car I noticed the magpie sitting on the roof, looking, for all the world, as if it was checking its reflection out on the sheen of the car.  
  
“Vain little, bugger,” Sheri shooed it away. I laughed. It felt good. She smiled at me.  
  
“Let’s get this show on the road.”  
  
We slid into the car, she gunned the engine and we were off.  
  
 _ **Perth  
  
Hay Street Mall  
  
Myer  
  
1 PM  
  
* Third Person p.o.v. ***_  
  
Cars whizzed passed the back entrance of Myers. A small non-descript, yellow Toyota hatchback crawled up to the curb and a young man dressed in a pair of baggy jeans and an old shirt and hoodie, slid out of the backseat. He waved to the driver who moved away from the curb and drove off. Then standing still for a moment, he scanned the street.  
  
Men and women, bustled passed him. They were business people obviously on their lunch breaks or returning to their jobs. He ignored them, making his way through the entrance of the store, glancing casually up at the large black letters on the side of the building: MYERS.  
  
Shaking his head slightly, the man wandered into the store and let his eyes flicker across the shoppers. He had a description of the girl in his mind’s eye. He had a photo tucked in his back pocket, yet he was blessed with a photographic memory. That is why the agency employed him, for his ability to remember faces at one glance. Even if the image was a slightly grainy facsimile.  
  
The fax had only reached him that morning. But the details had been clear and to the point. Find the girl. Report back. Wait for further instructions. Easy as pie. And this job was interesting, it was initiated overseas, his specialty.  
  
Pulling the hood of his jacket over his head, he padded silently across the floor, watching the customers through narrowed eyes. His lips tightened when he recognised the subject standing, with another woman, near a rack of summer sale items. She was holding several dresses up to her body, looking at how they looked against her.  
  
He pretended to browse through a rack of surf shorts as he inched closer to the two women, halting when he was close enough to hear their conversation. Settling, with his back to them, he listened.  
  
“What about this one, Sheri?”  
  
“Wow, that one really brings out the colour in your eyes…you should get it.”  
  
The subject’s voice was strained, a hint of sadness when she responded.  
  
“Pierre would love to see me in something like this…”  
  
“You should send him a photo of you in it.”  
  
“I guess…”  
  
“You have his email don’t you?”  
  
“Of course…” her tone was hesitant.  
  
The man smirked inwardly. He couldn’t blame her; he knew the circumstances she was in. Knew she wasn’t allowed to ever contact him again; more to the point, he knew that even if she did, Pierre wouldn’t respond.  
  
Pulling his hoodie closer around his face, he kept pace with the women as they continued on their way to the checkout, after having decided on their purchases. Waiting close by, still pretending to examine the clothes on sale, the man flicked guarded eyes toward them. They were almost done paying.  
  
He observed as they passed where he was standing and made their way for the exit. He trailed them, careful not to draw attention to his presence. He was very good at moving undetected, even in the sparsest of crowds. He had the ability to exude ‘invisibleness’ around his body. People’s eyes just slid straight over him as if he never even existed. Came in handy in situations such as these.  
  
The two women strolled casually out to the car park and over to a small red Honda Jazz.  
  
 _Very good car,_  the man thought as he watched them load their shopping into the boot. He noted the number plate. He’d use that information to track them to the address the subject was residing at. Not that he needed too. That information had been on the fax. Still, it would come in handy when he was on the streets and had to keep trace of her.  
  
As the car pulled out of the spot and drove away, the man pulled his mobile phone from his back pocket. Flipping it open, he hit speed dial.  
  
“Oi, mate…found her…come pick me up…”  
  
Hanging up, he smiled faintly. The whiff of fresh meat filled his nostrils. The hunt. It was exciting, even if he was only involved in the tracking. In the end, it was always satisfying. He craned his neck to the left as the yellow hatchback crawled up next to him. Licking his lips, he slid into the passenger seat and settled back, closing his eyes.  
  
Phase one: completed.  
  
 _ **Montreal  
  
Bouvier Apartment  
  
12:30 AM  
  
*Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
After I hung up with Marly, I lay on my back staring up at the ceiling. Rochelle was cuddled close to my side, cheek resting on my bare chest. I sighed deeply, and traced circles with my fingertips on the bare skin of her back, between her shoulder blades.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
“Hmmm?” I glanced down at her. A soft frown turned her mouth down at the corners. “What is it, Ro?”  
  
“Do you love her?”  
  
I blinked.  
  
“Love her?”  
  
“ _Oui_. Do you love…Marly?”  
  
Closing my eyes, I thought for a moment. Then I chuckled.  
  
“Would you be here with me if I did?”  
  
Rochelle sat up then, staring into my eyes. I gazed back, lifting an eyebrow. She was a stunning woman. Her eyes, hypnotic and filled with so many emotions. I loved  _her_. And that was the truth.  
  
After I had left Chuck’s I had finally bitten the bullet and called her. I had asked her to come over. She was at the apartment ten minutes after I called her. We’d spent a little bit of time, just talking. Truly, we just talked. Then we watched a movie, shared dinner…and then we spent a lot of time getting to…know one another. Again.  
  
We’d been about to start the second round when the phone rang. Marly. I should’ve expected a call from her. After all that’s what happens with a normal couple, right? Separated by distance you call each other at whatever hour possible. However, we’re not a normal couple. Well, at least,  _I_  know we’re not. Blinking rapidly, I forced all thoughts of Marly from my mind as I met Rochelle’s eyes and waited.  
  
“Tell me you don’t love her,” she demanded, as if she was worried about it. I laughed and cradled her face between my hands.  
  
“I don’t love her. You know that. She’s nothing to me.” I pressed my lips to her supple one’s licking around her mouth. Rochelle moaned. Then she pulled back and glared at me.  
  
“You’d better be telling me the truth.”  
  
I smiled reassuringly.  
  
“I wouldn’t lie to you. You’re a free woman.” I rubbed my palm along her arm, massaging. She pursed her lips. So cute when she pouts.  
  
“You lied to  _her_ …a promoter? Damn, if only my profession was so modest…”  
  
I chuckled lasciviously.  
  
“You promote yourself very well.”  
  
Rochelle laughed and slapped my arm, then squeezed my bicep firmly. I growled deep in my throat, rolling on top of her, pinning her to the bed. She laughed again.  
  
“Take me, Pierre…” She purred, trailing her hand over my chest and up to my collarbone, to my right bicep. She gripped my arm. I flexed it, allowing her to feel my strength. Rochelle’s eyes sparkled as she whispered lustily. “I want you to take me…use me…make me feel helpless…”  
  
I leaned down and took her earlobe gently between my teeth, muttering.  
  
“Are you sure you want that?”  
  
“ _Oui!_  I do…take me hard…”  
  
Her hips lifted against mine, and I felt her legs spread beneath me. I growled. Fuck. We were already naked, so I knew all I had to do was push inside of her. But I waited, my thick cock pressed against her inner thigh. Smirking, I palmed her breasts, massaging them slowly. Brushing my thumbs over her stiff nipples. She moaned loudly, pressing her body against mine.  
  
I shifted, and slid up so the tip of my cock was pressed against her entrance. She was already slick from our previous round. I let out a snarl as I thrust into her easily, bottoming out in a single motion. She gasped, clamping her pussy tight around my cock.  
  
Fuck, that was so hot. She knew exactly how to clench around me. I didn’t even have to move inside her. All Rochelle had to do was squeeze and un-squeeze repeatedly. Pulsing along my hard length. My ball sac tightened, and I felt a surge of pleasure race up my spine.  
  
“Pierre…” she purred my name as she moved her hips hard against mine.  
  
Gripping her hips, I placed hard kisses against her mouth, trailing my lips down her face to her neck, nibbling along her collarbone. Then I drew my head back staring deep into her eyes as I pounded my cock into her body. Drilling her to the bed, the bed thudding against the wall. She groaned, and moved with me, grabbing my arms to steady herself.  
  
I smiled faintly, thrusting harder, deeper, dragging my cock against her clit. Her pussy convulsed around me and I gritted my teeth and snarled.  
  
“I’m close…come with me…”  
  
She whimpered, digging her fingertips into my biceps, body shaking beneath mine. I leaned down and sucked on her neck, pushing my cock all the way up inside her, pressing the head against her cervix. She clenched, unclenched hard around me. I held, swirling my hips slowly, rubbing against her tiny nub of flesh.  
  
My thighs were shaking with the strain of holding my come back. I wanted her to finish with me.  
  
Rochelle stiffened beneath me then her hips lifted hard against mine and she screamed.  
  
“PIERRE!!! Oh God!!!” Her pussy tightened around my cock, and her come drove me over the edge. I pumped my load into her, moaning her name into her hair.  
  
“Ro…God…Ro….”  
  
I finally finished and held myself up on my arms, looking down at her. She slumped beneath me and I relaxed on top of her. Fuck, that was too good. I rolled off her and lay flat on my back. She draped an arm over my stomach and kissed me on the chest. I stroked the back of her neck, closing my eyes.  
  
“Hmmm…” she murmured, “ _Je taime_ …”  
  
Yawning, I shifted to my side, wrapping my arms around her. Whispering softly into her hair as we drifted into sleep.  
  
“ _Aussi_ …”  
  
 _ **7 AM**_  
  
The sun streamed through a crack in the curtains. I sat up and rubbed a hand over my face. Glancing to the side, I smiled slightly at Rochelle’s still slumbering form. She looked so sweet, just lying there, all snuggled up beneath the sheets.  
  
Yawning, I pushed the sheets down and rolled out of bed; still as naked as the day I was born. Ignoring the fact that my dick was bouncing freely as I strode over to the vanity and picked up my phone, I had a call I had to make. And seeing that it was 7 AM here, it would only be 7 PM in Australia.  
  
I tapped my fingers on my thigh waiting. The click as someone picked up finally came through and I smiled coldly.  
  
“Hey, you find her?” I nodded at the response from the other end. “Good. Now all I want you to do is watch her. That’s all. Don’t do anything to her…not yet. Just report back to me at the end of each week. Yeah, all I want to know really is how she is. What she’s doing. And so on. Not too difficult? Good. It’s pretty straightforward…uhuh…I’ll let you know when I want you to take further action. Thanks. I owe you. Heh, yeah right…talk to you on Saturday.”  
  
Hanging up, I glanced over at Rochelle again. She was sitting up, blinking sleep from her eyes.  
  
“Hey…what time is it?”  
  
Looking across at the clock I smiled faintly.  
  
“7 AM. Morning, sunshine.”  
  
“Yeah…it is that…” Rochelle moaned and flopped back on the bed. “Who was on the phone?”  
  
I chuckled.  
  
“No one important.” I flopped back on the bed next to her. “C’mere…”  
  
She giggled, snuggling close to me. I wrapped my arms around her and nuzzled my face in her hair. Damn she smelt so fucking good. I could lay with her here all day. But I had to meet Chuck and the others to start planing for the third album.  
  
Chuck and I, more Chuck than me, had a stack of lyrics we wanted to run pass the guys. Still, that could wait until at least 10. This meant I could stay here with Rochelle at least for another hour.  
  
Yawning, I propped my head against my pillow, shifting her body so her head was leaning against my chest. She smiled and ran the palm of her hand over my abs, stroking. I sighed in content as I absently kneaded my fingertips into the muscles at the back of her neck.  
  
“That feels good…” she mumbled against my chest, her breath hot against my skin. I shivered and massaged a little harder. She rolled her neck into my hand. “Oh, God Pierre…”  
  
Licking my lips, I glanced down at her. Rochelle’s eyes were closed, blonde lashes resting against her cheekbones. Contentment was evident in every line of her face, in the slack smile on her lips. I traced my thumb over her bottom lip then sighed, closing my own eyes, allowing myself to drift off. Another few minutes of sleep never hurt anyone.


	9. Unbreak my heart...

_**Two Weeks Later  
  
Tuesday April 3rd, 2007  
  
Murdoch University  
  
11 AM  
  
*Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
First lecture. It’s overwhelming, all these people that I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been in school settings before. But this is different. I’m in unfamiliar territory, unchartered waters, and I’m like a ship with a faulty navigational system.  
  
Clutching my books close to my chest, I glanced around the lecture theatre, observing the other students as they entered. They all appeared to know one another, chatting excitedly about previous classes and whatever else they had to talk about. A couple of girls walked passed me; I caught snippets of conversations as people found seats.  
  
“Hey! Didn’t see you in class yesterday!”  
  
“Did you hear what she said about that student?”  
  
“Hey, wanna have a drink after class…?”  
  
“Hi…you new here?”  
  
I blinked at the last realising there was a young man standing in front of me, peering quizzically at my tight hold on my books.  
  
“Uh…” I cleared my throat and gazed up into gentle, yet bright green eyes. I kid you not; green. Not hazel, but pure emerald green irises.  
  
The guy grinned crookedly at me. To go with his green gaze, he had dirt-blonde hair, and a cheeky grin. I took in the rest of his appearance in a glance. He was wearing a pair of denim jeans, with holes at the knees, a worn Metallica T-shirt and a Zoo York hoodie. Reminded me somewhat of Pierre. I swallowed hard, forcing that thought from my mind and tried a smile.  
  
“Yeah…it’s my first day.”  
  
The guy sank down on the chair next to mine, and proceeded to tug his books from his bag.  
  
“Yeah? I remember my first day here…pretty insane.” He straightened and smiled at me. “Name’s Damien,” he held out his hand. I took it hesitantly. He squeezed my hand for a second then let go. I swallowed nervously.  
  
“Marly…that’s me.”  
  
“Nice name.” A flicker that I couldn’t read passed across his face then was replaced by a warm smile. “You’re not from around here?”  
  
I shrugged, placing my own books down on the fold out desk.  
  
“Moved from Canada not too long ago. A couple of weeks actually.”  
  
“Sweet. Never been there myself. Got a few…friends…there. But y’know…can’t seem to scrounge up enough money to leave Perth.”  
  
“That must suck,” I said. Damien laughed.  
  
“No biggie really.” He glanced down to the front as the professor walked in and greeted the people down the front. “Uh…new lecturer…”  
  
I smiled softly. “That’s Professor James Bell…he was my prof back in Montreal.”  
  
“Seriously?” He shook his head and settled back on his chair. “Well, as long as he’s good.”  
  
“Oh, he is. That’s why I came here…”  
  
I looked down at my books and busied myself with getting my pen out. I could still feel Damien’s eyes on me though. It was unsettling, but I didn’t really think much of that feeling. After all I guess I was just nervous.  
  
I hadn’t really spoken to many guys in my life, other than Pierre and the guys in the band, the guys from Good Charlotte, Eskimo Joe, that guy on the plane. Okay, so maybe I’d spoken to more guys than I gave myself credit for, but I just wasn’t used to really socialising outside of my comfort zone.  
  
As I glanced up again I found my gaze locking with his. An inexplicable chill raced down my spine. Was it just my imagination or had his expression just flashed ice cold. He stared unblinkingly at me for a second; but then his gaze softened and a wry grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. Almost as if he were apologising for staring. He chuckled softly then turned his attention to the front as the Prof began the lecture.  
  
“Hello everyone, my name is James. My details are up there on the screen right now. I’d like to welcome you to EDU231 Schools in Context…”  
  
I relaxed, realising I had been holding my body in a tense pose throughout that whole interaction. Breathing out slowly, I placed pen to paper and proceeded to take notes.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **Cafeteria  
  
Noon**_  
  
“Combination noodle soup? Good choice. Personally, I prefer the Laksa.”  
  
I looked up to find that Damien had followed me into the crowded food hall. He shrugged at my questioning look and slipped onto the seat opposite mine.  
  
“Hope you don’t mind. Place is packed…and you’re sitting here on your own.”  
  
I smiled. I was finding it easier as the day went on. And he was a nice guy. I shifted my tray so it wasn’t taking up the whole table.  
  
“No, it’s fine. I don’t want to feel like a loner.”  
  
“A cute girl like you?” Damien chuckled. “I would think you’d have too many guys asking you out, to be a loner.”  
  
My cheeks went pink and I lowered my eyes to the bowl in front of me. The truth was no guy had ever asked me out. Obviously, Pierre didn’t count. Damien raised his eyebrows. I shook my head.  
  
“I have…I had a boyfriend back in Montreal.”  
  
I tasted bile at the back of my throat. That phone call was still fresh in my mind. Pierre hadn’t called me since and I was too afraid that he wouldn’t answer if I called him. Picking up my chopsticks, I lifted noodles from the bowl and put them in my mouth, chewing slowly to avoid any further conversation.  
  
Damien tilted his head to the side genuine interest in his gaze.  
  
“Really?  _Had_  a boyfriend? You two not together anymore?”  
  
I couldn’t answer. No, didn’t want to answer. Because, deep in my heart I knew that to do so, I would have to admit, to myself, that my relationship with Pierre was over. All the signs were there in plain view. I just hadn’t wanted to see them. That chick…Rochelle…his whole demeanour…his odd moods prior to my leaving Montreal.  
  
The only response I could give Damien was one that terrified me. And so I didn’t react. I heard him sigh, and I looked at him. A wry expression lit his vivid green eyes.  
  
“Long distant relationships aren’t easy, are they?”  
  
I shook my head. A safe question. I swallowed then answered.  
  
“No, they’re not…they’re damned hard.”  
  
“Yeah, I had a girlfriend, once. She moved to America…we couldn’t keep it going…still…what doesn’t work for some,” He said, leaving his sentence unfinished.  
  
“Works for others,” I smiled, weakly. Truth be told, my relationship with Pierre was difficult, period. Long distance issues paled in comparison to everything else that had happened in my life. However, it didn’t help matters.  
  
“Yeah, maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones.” Damien shrugged. “Heck, I’m too young for a serious relationship, anyway. Plenty of time to worry about that.”  
  
I looked at him.  
  
“Get through school first?”  
  
“Exactly. School, then settle in a career…then worry about the rest of my life.” He smiled at me. “I’ve always wanted to be a teacher.”  
  
Pushing my bowl away and leaning back against my chair, I nodded.  
  
“Ever since I started thinking about having a career I thought teaching was right for me.”  
  
And that really is the truth. I’m not making that up. Even Pierre told me that he thought I’d make a good teacher, after I had taught him how to make a paper crane. That memory made me giggle. Damien raised his eyebrows.  
  
“Something funny?”  
  
“I was just remembering when I taught my boyfriend, Pierre, how to make an origami crane.” I smiled, wistfully. “It was amusing. He just couldn’t get it. But then, suddenly he did. He squealed like a little kid. That’s how happy he was.” I cast my eyes at him. “He’s 27.”  
  
Damien laughed. “So, it’s true. You can teach an old dog new tricks.”  
  
“Apparently.”  
  
“I’m 22 myself.” He toyed with the sleeve of his hoodie. “Teach me any new tricks?”  
  
My cheeks went pink and I lowered my gaze. He chuckled, then glanced at his watch.  
  
“Shit. I gotta another class.” He pushed out of his seat. “See ya round?”  
  
“Yeah, at the workshop I suppose?” I smiled, lifting my gaze back to his, thinking, not for the first time, how green his eyes were. Damien smiled back at me.  
  
“Yep…Thursday arvo.”  
  
“Arvo?”  
  
“Afternoon,” He grinned and tipped his fingers to his forehead. “I better go, or I’ll be late.”  
  
I waved as he turned and left me. Checking my own watch I sighed and stood. Guess it was time for me to leave as well. Kav said he was going to pick me up and take me down to their studio for the afternoon. They were in the process of writing their fourth album. That thought amazed me. Not many bands reached three albums, let alone four.  
  
It would be interesting to see where Eskimo Joe was heading with their new music. Thinking of new music perhaps I could get online and see how Pierre and the others were getting on with their new record. Pondering those thoughts, I grabbed my bag and exited the food hall.  
  
 _ **Mushroom Records  
  
1:15 PM**_  
  
“Marly, you can use my laptop to check your email.” Stu McLeod propped his feet up on the table in front of him and nodded at the computer as I sank down on the sofa next to him.  
  
“Thanks,” I smiled, leaning forward to switch it on. As I waited for it to load, I glanced over to Joel who was sitting at his drum kit, laying out his beats. Kav was standing close by, tuning his bass and talking to their producer. I sighed quietly.  
  
The set up was extremely familiar to me, almost like being in the studio with the guys back in Montreal. Except not like. There was no David being a ‘moron’, and no Seb or Pat to document it on film. No Chuck on drums and bossing everyone around, and no Jeff rocking it out on his guitar. And definitely no Pierre. But it did feel comfortable.  
  
I looked down at the laptop and clicked on the Internet Explorer icon. After the homepage loaded, I logged into my Hotmail account and checked to see my new email. There was one from Benji and Joel Madden. One from David and one from Chuck. But there was none from Pierre. Pressing my lips together, I tried not to think about that as I clicked on Benji’s email.  
  
 _Hey Marlz,  
  
Guess what? Joel and I know that you’re in Australia and wanted to tell you that we (GC) are going down under to tour Good Morning Revival. Perhaps we could catch up? I know we’re having one show in Perth, Western Australia. That’s where you’re at, right? Hit me back a reply…and I mean me specifically, because Joel is so slow to read his emails.  
  
Anyways,  
  
Love ya like a fat kid likes candy  
  
Benj (and Joel)_  
  
I smiled happily and sat back noticing that Kav had joined us on the sofa.  
  
“What are you smiling about?” Kav raised his eyebrows at me. I lifted a hand and pulled my hair tie out so I could redo my hair.  
  
“Oh, Good Charlotte is touring down under, soon.”  
  
“Sweet.”  
  
“Yeah, Benji sent me an email.”  
  
Kav nodded and leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes. He was obviously tired. I turned back to read the next email, David’s.  
  
 _Carly Moo!  
  
I miss you!  
  
Hey…that rhymed…did you see that Marlz, I made a rhyme…well of course if you’re reading this you can see that it rhymes…but I still wanted to point it out. Anyway, I miss you. I still really don’t know why you left. I mean sure you’re going to school…but couldn’t you do it here?  
  
Pierre’s being so stupid about it, y’know? I guess you don’t know because you’re waaaay over there in Australia and Pierre’s here in Laval. Anyway, he won’t talk about you. Which is stupid, right? He loves you. So, he should talk about you. It’s in the rulebook…have you seen that rulebook, Marlz? The one that all boyfriends should have? I guess I need it…cos I don’t think I’m a good boyfriend…that’s why I have no girlfriends…cos I don’t have that book…  
  
Sorry, guess you don’t need to hear…read that. Haha. Did you see that, of course you couldn’t HEAR me. You’re over…yeah you know where you are. Anyway, come back home soon! We all miss you…Seb and Pat and Jeff and Chuck…and, well we all do.  
  
Love ya  
  
David_  
  
I reread the email several times, silent tears rolling down my face. I really didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. David’s personality shone from the monitor and an ache gripped my heart. Clenching my jaw, and wiping the tears from my face, I quickly closed his email not wanting any of the thoughts it brought to my mind to grow. Breathing deeply, I hesitated before clicking on Chuck’s email.  
  
 _Hey! Guess what?  
  
We’re finally in the studio for pre-production! Yeah, I know, we’re actually early. We were scheduled in for the end of June…but Pierre decided he wanted to get cracking so the record comes out BEFORE his birthday. Anyway. Check out my MySpace myspace.com/xxchuckxx and SimplePlan.com for updates! Oh, and I’ve added a new picture of the guys, with our producer. Pat took it.  
  
  
  
Missing you, Marly.  
  
Chuck  
  
P.S. Call me…I need to talk to you…about Pierre…I know he hasn’t been calling you…and I know it’s only been two weeks and we’ve been busy. But not so busy that he…well…just call me. Okay? Right, well take care and don’t work too hard J  
  
P.P.S. You might be interested…Pierre has a MySpace as well. Myspace.com/officialpierre. Check it out…if you want._  
  
So much for not thinking about the things, I didn’t want to think of. My head was aching, as they seemed to tumble in my mind. One particular thought made my head throb. Chuck wanted me to call him and that bothered me, a lot.  
  
Whatever was going on with Pierre had to be serious, and was most definitely something I didn’t want to know about. And in my heart of hearts, I already knew what Chuck was going to tell me. Call me pessimistic but I was certain it was not going to be good news. I leaned my face in my hands, taking a deep shuddering breath.  
  
“Marly? You alright?” I felt Kav’s hand resting on my shoulder. I shook my head without looking at him.  
  
“Got a headache…” I mumbled. “Need…”  
  
“Need an aspirin?” He asked. I nodded.  
  
“Yeah…” The sofa sprang up slightly as Kav stood and walked away for a moment. He came back a glass of water in one hand and an aspirin in the other.  
  
“Here…take this.”  
  
I smiled gratefully at him as I took the tablet and washed it down with the whole glass. Placing it down on the table, I turned back to the laptop and shut Chuck’s email. Wiping my eyes, I hesitated before typing into the address bar at the top of the screen _www.myspace.com/officialpierre_. As I waited for the page to load, I glanced at Kav.  
  
“Have you guys got a MySpace page?”  
  
He smirked. “Yeah, we do. I even have a personal one. But, it’s private.”  
  
“Of course…”  
  
I flicked my gaze back to the monitor. A lump formed in my throat as my eyes settled on the short video message that was playing silently. Pierre’s dark eyes sparkled as he spoke. I noticed that he’d had his hair cut. It was still longish, but appeared a little neater than when I’d last seen him.  
  
Rubbing my face, I scrolled down to read the comments. So many adoring fans. God, to think what their reaction would be if they knew what kind of person he could be. The thought made me cringe. Yet, I still didn’t want to think the worst of him. I loved him too much for that.  
  
I scrolled back to the top of the page and just fixed my gaze on the video message, replaying it. I knew what I was trying to do. I was looking for any sign at all that he was upset about something, anything, an indication that he was missing…me. His face though, was void of anything other than his typical ‘rock star’ façade. His eyes, warm, yet impersonal. His smile one that he reserved only for the fans. Not to say it wasn’t sincere, because it was. It just lacked the emotions that came with his own personal joy. It definitely was not tempered by sadness or loss.  
  
I closed the page down and leaned back against the lounge, closing my eyes tightly, yet failing to banish the image of his deep brown eyes staring out from the screen. Failing to expel the memories. I was brought back to the present when Kav gently placed his hand on my shoulder.  
  
“Marlz…listen to this.”  
  
Opening my eyes, I observed Stu and Joel who were now set up, and ready to record. I blinked. I had been so immersed in my emails I had never even noticed that Stu had moved. Kav grinned.  
  
“This is going to be the first track. You’re gonna love it.”  
  
Nodding, I leaned forward, propping my elbows on my knees. With my eyes half-open I listened as Joel counted down, tapping his sticks together; then Stu began to play. Kav, who was still sitting next to me, began to sing softly. I shifted down into the sofa, closing my eyes fully and allowed the music to carry me far away. Letting it wash away all my worries, at least for a small moment in time.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ *** Kav’s p.o.v. *  
  
4:15 PM**_  
  
Damn, the new album is going to be sick as. Joel’s just about finished with his drum tracks, and Stu and I have two more songs to finish with guitar and bass. Then all that will be left will be the vocal tracks. In the mean time, we’ve been trying to find a suitable name for the album. A few ideas have been tossed around and we’ve managed to narrow it down to five possibilities:  
  
 _Light Heartedness is Underrated  
  
Double Sorrow  
  
Until the Sky Falls  
  
Waiting  
  
Autumn Leave Crossing_  
  
I showed Marly the list and she told me she loved the third choice. Personally, I do as well. It’s actually the title of the final track on the album and even though you would think that it was a sad song, it’s really quite upbeat, uplifting. I suppose the fact is that for this, our fourth album, we’ve decided to do the taboo and show Australia our faith. Y’know?  
  
The three of us, we’re devout Christians. Not Catholic; we’re more the Pentecostal…raising of hands type. But not even that. I just like to think that I believe in God and that Jesus gave his life to save us from our sins.  
  
Heh. Not going to get too into that. That sort of stuff bores people and then some don’t want to hear it at all, whatever. I do go to church, whenever I’m in Perth. And not in a cathedral. The church used to be a television warehouse, believe it or not. Or so our Pastor professes.  
  
Pastor Phil, the funniest man of God I’ve ever encountered in my life. But also one of the most sincere, down-to-earth men in Western Australia, in my opinion. I’m thinking I’ll take Marly to church this coming Sunday and introduce him to her. Speaking of which, I looked over to where she was huddled on the sofa, eyes closed, dozing.  
  
Even after having been in Perth for over two weeks, she was still recovering from her jetlag. I felt though that there was something else draining all her energy from her. Something to do with Pierre. Not that she had mentioned anything to me. But Sheri had told me that Pierre hadn’t called her since she arrived here. And that the single time Marly called him, he was busy…or going to bed, or something.  
  
Still I thought that was extremely odd, because he had called me twice in the past two weeks. No, not odd…what was it Pierre told me? Something about the Guild? Something about telling…  
  
 _Crap._  That’s what I’d forgotten to do. I hadn’t mentioned his calls to Marly. Maybe that would perk her up a little. Pushing up from the stool I had been sitting on, whilst waiting for Stu to finish up, I walked back over to the couch and sank down on the worn cushion. Marly’s eyes opened and she smiled.  
  
“Hey? You done?”  
  
I scrunched my hair, shaking my head.  
  
“Not quite.”  
  
“Oh?” She sat up and absently rubbed her hand at a stain on her jeans. “Want to talk?”  
  
“I actually forgot to tell you something.”  
  
“What’s that?” She gazed expectantly at me. I rubbed my nose.  
  
“Well, Pierre called me a couple of times in the last two weeks.” I watched her face. Her bottom lip appeared to tremble slightly, and her eyes flickered. I waited.  
  
“He has?” She swallowed hard, before asking. “What for?”  
  
Scratching my cheek –  _I really need to shave…_ \- I frowned thoughtfully.  
  
“He asked me to keep an eye on you. Make sure you were okay…let him know…how you’re going.”  
  
Marly blinked at me, her eyes glazing over. When she next spoke, her voice was remote as if she was far away.  
  
“Why you? Why can’t he just call me…? Talk to me?”  
  
I sighed, lowering my voice so the other guys didn’t hear.  
  
“Well, he explained to me about the Guild…and said that they’ve forbidden him to contact you. And that he thought they told you the same.”  
  
Her voice shook.  
  
“I can’t remember if they ever said that…” She bowed her head, chin tucked into her chest. “All I can recall them saying is that I should start a new life, without Pierre’s influence…perhaps that meant me not talking to him?” She peered up at me through her lashes as if I could give her the answers to all her questions. I shrugged.  
  
“That’s a possibility. Anyway,” I smiled gently. “If you want, I can give him any messages that you want to tell him.”  
  
Marly wiped the back of her hand across her face.  
  
“Just…just tell him I love him…” She whispered, not looking at me. I nodded.  
  
“Sure. I can do that.”  
  
She wrapped her arms around her knees and tucked her chin against her chest. I guess the conversation was over, which was okay because Stu was calling for me to come and track bass. I reached out and squeezed Marly on the shoulder.  
  
“You’ll be okay.” Then I stood and walked over to Stu, picking up my bass on the way, and settled down to record.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 ** _6 PM_**  
  
 _God, I am so knackered_ …I flopped down on the couch next to Marly. She was sitting up, arms still wrapped around her knees. But now she was watching me, a little smile curving the corners of her mouth upwards.  
  
“What?” I lifted my eyebrows at her. The smile became wistful.  
  
“You remind me of Pierre after he’s done tracking vocals…” She halted and looked down; I could see the muscles in her arms tensing. She was upset. I remained silent. “I…got an email from Chuck today…” She licked her lips. “He said he needed to talk to me…about Pierre…”  
  
Her eyes lifted to mine, they were shimmering with unshed tears. I really had no idea what to say. So, I just said nothing and nodded slightly. Marly rubbed furiously at her eyes.  
  
“I’m sorry for dumping this all on you, Kav…I just…don’t know what to do…”  
  
Shrugging, I folded my arms over my chest.  
  
“Don’t worry about it. Look,” I leaned forward. “Maybe you should call him?”  
  
“Now?”  
  
“Nah. It’d be 6 AM over there…would he be awake?”  
  
Marly pursed her lips.  
  
“He never minds if someone calls him early in the morning. He’s good like that.”  
  
I stretched. “Well, it’s your call.”  
  
She looked at me and smirked.  
  
“Yeah, it will be my call.”  
  
I snorted faintly.  
  
“Funny.”  
  
She cracked a smile.  
  
“Yeah, I thought so.”  
  
“So, call him then.” I smothered a yawn. “Shite…I need to sleep…”  
  
Marly rolled her eyes at me.  
  
“Sheri says you never sleep. No wonder you’re always yawning.”  
  
“Hey! I do not,” I laughed. She just shook her head and pulled her mobile from her hip pocket. Standing she looked around.  
  
“Um…is there somewhere private I can go?”  
  
“Private?”  
  
She gave me this look, like ‘I’m not calling him where you can hear me’. Sighing, I nodded toward the back.  
  
“Back room. That’s where we keep all our shit. You can go in there…we have to finish out here anyway.”  
  
Marly pushed a lock of hair from her face as she turned and disappeared out back. Closing my eyes I let my breath out.  
  
“Damn…” I felt sorry for her. Pushing up from the couch I wandered back over to Stu. He glanced at me.  
  
“She okay?”  
  
Picking up my bass and sitting on the floor, I shook my head.  
  
“Haven’t got the faintest…”  
  
Stu grumbled. “What a jerk…”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Bouvier…not calling her. What kind of boyfriend…?”  
  
I cut him off. “He’s busy. SP’s recording, don’t forget.”  
  
“Yeah? So are we. Doesn’t mean I don’t call my girlfriend.”  
  
I chuckled. “You don’t have a girlfriend.”  
  
He set his guitar down.  
  
“Well, if I did.”  
  
“Yeah…I know you would.”  
  
I sighed and glanced down at my bass absently fingering the chords. Stu sighed and began to play with me. Joel joined us moments later and sat tapping along on his leg. We were so immersed in the sounds we were making that none of us heard Marly come out of the back room until she dashed passed us and out the door. I looked up, hearing the door slam shut.  
  
“Shit…I’d better go after her…”  
  
I handed my bass to Joel, scrambled to my feet and raced after her, feeling my heart tighten in my chest. I just hoped with all my heart that something bad hadn’t happened. All I needed was for Marly to fall apart at the seams. That would really not be good at all. For anyone.  
  
I cast my gaze up and down the corridor, my eyes finally falling on her. She was huddled against the wall, mobile clutched to her breasts sobbing. I walked slowly up to her and sat down next to her.  
  
“Marlz?” I kept my voice low. She trembled. I hesitantly wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “What happened?”  
  
She shook her head.  
  
“Don’t…don’t want to talk about it…”  
  
“Alright…” I squeezed her gently. “Want to come back? We’re about to go and get tea…” Not entirely true, we hadn’t even thought about it. But I was going to tell the guys that when I went back. Marly nodded a little.  
  
“I’m a bit hungry…” She looked up at me then. Her eyes were red. Obviously from crying. Rubbing her back softly, I smiled.  
  
“Come on then, up you get.” I stood, helping her up. She cast a grateful look my way.  
  
“Thanks, Kav…”  
  
“No biggie.” I stepped back, allowing her to compose herself. Then I lead the way back to the studio. Now all I had to do was tell the guys it was time for dinner. Fantastic.


	10. Have you heard of Richard Cranium?

_**Montreal Studio  
  
Tuesday April 3rd  
  
7 AM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
You know things are going real shitty if Chuck’s looking at you like you’re dirt on his shoes. Which was what he was doing to me just about now. I’d just arrived at the studio, stuffing my face with a bagel I’d grabbed on the way. And as soon as I walked through the door he was on my case.  
  
“You’re late.”  
  
“Huh?” I grunted, swallowing. “It’s too early for me to be late.”  
  
Chuck rolled his eyes, grabbed my shirt and practically shoved me onto a chair.  
  
“What the fuck?” I glowered at him. “What is your damage?”  
  
“You’re late,” he repeated.  
  
“Yeah right. No one else is here.” Which is true. I mean seriously, we don’t even officially start until, like, 10 AM. The only reason I was early was because I liked to sit in the solitude of the studio and think about things whilst having my breakfast.  
  
Chuck stared hard at me then growled in disgust. I knew he wasn’t really mad at me for being late. Something else had pissed him off. So, I waited, breaking off bits of bagel and pressing them into my mouth, savouring the sweet sugary taste. Chuck paced the floor in front of me. I smirked.  
  
“You’ll wear a hole in the floor if you keep doing that. I don’t think the people on the lower level would appreciate us falling on top of them.”  
  
He shot me an evil glance.  
  
“Just shut up. You’ve really done it now, Bouvier.”  
  
 _Huh? What is he talking about?_  “What  _are_  you talking about, Comeau?”  
  
Chuck turned to face me and now he just looked tired. Beaten down, as if he was just sick of me, or something.  
  
“Marly called me an hour ago.”  
  
I blinked. “Oh.”  
  
“Oh?  _Oh?_  That’s all you can say?  _Oh?_ ”  
  
I shrugged. I really didn’t understand his problem.  
  
“Yeah? What of it?” I finished off my bagel, licking my fingers and looked around. “Is the pot on? I need a coffee.”  
  
“Fuck that!” Chuck slammed his palms on the arms of the chair and leaned into my face. “You’re a fucking asshole. Y’know that? You’re sick. You don’t even fucking care, do you?”  
  
I leaned back from him, surprised by the viciousness of his verbal attack. I didn’t think that he had it in him, but obviously he did. Narrowing my eyes at him I leaned forward so our noses were barely touching.  
  
“What did she want?”  
  
“She wanted to know what I had to say to her about  _you_.” Chuck’s voice was strained. “I sent her an email the other day.”  
  
I clenched my jaw, the muscles tightening as I gritted out harshly, “What did you tell her?”  
  
“The truth.”  
  
I growled low in my throat.  _Not good_. He sighed and stepped back, sinking down on a chair next to me.  
  
“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her everything.”  
  
Heh, he must be a mind reader… but what  _did_  he tell her?  
  
“Only that you didn’t love her. Never loved her.”  
  
 _There you go…_  I had no response to that, so I remained silent. Chuck peeked at me.  
  
“You don’t seem too bothered by that.”  
  
Shrugging, I pushed out of my chair and walked over to the kitchenette.  _What the hell am I supposed to say? No, I’m not bothered? Pretty fucking obvious_. I busied myself grabbing a mug and switching on the pot.  
  
“She was absolutely devastated.” He went on. I shook my head still without responding, keeping my mouth clamped shut, not trusting myself to be civil. I concentrated on making myself a coffee. Chuck sighed heavily, and stood, walking passed me into the backroom.  
  
“Dick.” He snapped at me before shutting the door behind him. I snorted and called at the closed door.  
  
“Yeah…you have one too!” Then shaking my head, I poured hot water into my mug and wandered over to the sofa, collapsing back on it to enjoy my coffee whilst I waited for the others to arrive.  
  
 ** _9:30 AM_**  
  
“Pierre! Pierre!  _Pierre_!”  
  
Someone was poking me, very hard, in the side of my head. I groaned, eyelids peeling open. I was wet. Glancing down I realised I’d spilled my coffee down the front of my shirt leaving a lovely stain.  
  
“Fuck…” I looked up. David was standing in front of me holding one of his – yes his, not Chuck’s – drumsticks, like it was a sword. “What’re you poking me for?”  
  
“You were asleep. Looks like you wet yourself.” He giggled. I flipped him off.  
  
“Fuck you…”  
  
“Is that the only phrase you got?”  
  
I grunted and pushed up from the chair and wandered over to the kitchenette again to find a cloth. Standing by the sink I managed to wash the stain out. David came over and propped his back against the bench.  
  
“How come you’re here so early? I know Chuck’s always early…but you?”  
  
I grimaced. “No reason.” Casting my gaze over his usual attire, button-up shirt, tight pants, I sneered. “You’re early for a change.”  
  
David lifted his shoulders. “I was awake. And I came with Seb.”  
  
I nodded and dried my hands.  
  
“Ready for today?”  
  
“Yeah, I gotta help Chuck lay the drum beats. He said there’s this rhythm he wants to try…but it needs two drummers.”  
  
Rubbing my jaw, I wandered back over to my chair David sticking close. Sinking down on the chair I flicked my eyes to him.  
  
“Two?”  
  
“Yeah. Should be cool.” David flopped on the floor. “So…you called Marly?”  
  
The muscles in my neck stiffened. “No.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Haven’t got around to it.”  _Does he have to ask? I really don’t want to talk about her…_  
  
“Really?” He snorted. “You’ve been bored enough to do random vlogs with Seb…but you haven’t called her?”  
  
“David, lay off. I don’t tell you to call your girlfriend.”  
  
“That’s because he doesn’t have a girlfriend,” Chuck muttered as he finally rejoined us.  
  
“Wow,” I smirked, “decided to come out of the hole?”  
  
He glared, coldly, at me.  
  
“I was cleaning the back room.”  
  
“Damn you’re so OCD…” I groaned. “It took you two and a half hours?”  
  
Chuck didn’t even answer. Not that I cared. Snorting I looked away.  
  
“Where’re Jeff and Seb?”  
  
“Seb’s with Pat…they’re just recording a short MOTH-Hour.” David yawned. “And Jeff said he’ll be late.”  
  
Stretching, I chortled softly. “That’s unusual.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah…I know, I’m usually the late one.” He looked over at Chuck. “Hey, do you know if Marlz got my email?”  
  
Chuck smiled tightly. “Yeah, she did. Said it made her laugh and to tell you thankyou for that.”  
  
“Oh?”  
  
“She called me.”  
  
“Ah. How was she?” David rolled on his stomach and looked expectantly at Chuck. I couldn’t listen to this. I stood up and walked into the backroom leaving them to talk about her. I didn’t need to hear from them how she was. I already knew.  
  
Thanks to my ingenuity, I had a system whereby I could keep a close ‘eye’ on her and she had no idea. No idea. Damn, I’m such a prick. But, whatever. Scanning the backroom I sighed. It was fucking spotless. Chuck had been telling the truth. I really felt like just fucking it up again, but instead I found the Wii controller – Pat, Seb and Jeff had chipped in to buy a Nintendo Wii for the down time in the studio – plopped down on the sofa and switched the television on.  
  
Waiting for the game to load, I scratched my jaw. The pre-production period and laying down of drumbeats was always the least enjoyable part of the album process. Only because I didn’t really have anything to do. I knew I could keep trying to write…but I was kinda dried out…used up. Thrusting all thoughts aside, I focussed on the screen, clearing my mind. I so wanted to up my score and kick Seb’s ass at tennis. Yeah, lame…but hey…it keeps me occupied.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 ** _11 AM_**  
  
 _Wow. I’m so fucking bored. Wish Chuck and David would hurry up with their parts…_ Glancing at my watch I scowled then had a thought. Getting to my feet, being careful not to jostle Seb where he had fallen asleep next to me on the sofa, I pulled my cell phone from my back pocket and punched in the number of my contact in Perth. All I got was a busy tone.  
  
 _Fuck…now what do I do? Call…uh…call Rochelle. Should I?_  I glanced at Seb then made my way into the kitchenette and leaned on the bench as I scrolled through the phone book to her number and pressed the call button. Bringing the phone up to my ear, as it began to ring, I waited.  
  
 _Dial tone…Fuck…what is it with people being busy?_  I sighed then glanced at the number that was after Rochelle’s in the list.  _Marly…should I? Even though…_  Scratching my cheek, I smirked.  _Just to hear her voice…couldn’t hurt. At least it won’t hurt me._ Coming to a decision I hit send; with my luck she’d be busy like everyone else.  
  
 _“Pierre?!”_  Or not. Settling my arse against the bench, I sucked on my bottom lip, considering what I was going to say.  
  
“Um…hey…how’re you doing?”  _Great…that’s really gonna get the conversation flowing…_ Silence, not that I didn’t expect it.  _Think, Bouvier…say something…_  “It’s kinda crazy over here…crazy busy…y’know? So, um…that’s why I haven’t called. If you were wondering.” She still didn’t say anything. If it weren’t for her shallow, nervy breaths on the other end of the line, I would’ve thought no one was listening to me. Scratching my left elbow, absently wondering what it would look like if I had a tattoo on my arm, I commented casually to her. “I hear you called Chuck.”  _That_  got a reaction.  
  
 _“Tell me he was lying to me, Pierre…”_  Marly’s voice had a pleading edge to it. We both knew exactly what she was referring to so I didn’t bother bringing it up. Instead, I hesitated; there was no way I could tell her that. Because then I’d be lying. And I was done lying to her. Yeah, I just figured that out now, I’m not that quick on the uptake, and I’m willing to admit that so don’t think bad of me. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I shook my head slightly even though I knew she couldn’t see me.  
  
“I can’t do that.”  
  
There was an awful sadness to her tone when she asked,  _“So, it’s true…you never really loved me?”_  She paused, then,  _“Pierre…please don’t say yes to that…”_  
  
 _What the fuck did she expect me to say then?_  “Marly.” Her name fell like a stone from my lips. I had nothing else to say. I could hear her breathing on the other end of the line; it had gone up a notch and when she next spoke, her voice shook so hard that I knew she was trying not to cry.  
  
 _“Why…Pierre…why did…why did you…lie to…me?”_  
  
Clenching my jaw, I pushed away from the bench and began to pace a tight circle on the lino. Not answering. I couldn’t…wouldn’t answer.  
  
 _“Pierre? Answer me.”_  
  
My fingers tightened on the phone and I managed to grit out through my teeth, “Don’t tell me what to do. You haven’t the right.”  
  
There was stunned silence on her end of the line.  _Realise where I’m headed with this do you?_  I waited. She fumbled with the phone; the sound of her sniffing and wiping her nose reached my ears. I smiled grimly, still waiting. Eventually she squeaked out a question.  
  
 _“What do you mean? I’m a free woman -”_  I cut her off before she could finish that thought. Not caring that what I was about to say would probably confuse the hell out of her.  
  
“No. You’re not. You are still a slave. And you always will be.”  
  
With that said, I disconnected the call. What else was there to say? Nothing. In just a few short sentences, I had destroyed everything that she had ever believed about me. I knew she’d probably never trust me again. And you know what? I didn’t even feel a shred of guilt about what I’d just done. Not even a hint. And that was a fucking huge relief. Actually, I kinda shocked myself when I’d said that about her still being a slave. It’s the truth, but I hadn’t meant to tell her straight out like that. Guess sometimes my mouth gets disconnected from my brain. Heh, that’s not always a bad thing.  
  
Tucking the phone back in my pocket, I grabbed a glass of water and moseyed back over to the sofa where Seb was still sleeping. Collapsing next to him, I picked up my acoustic from the floor and began picking out random chords. Allowing my mind to go blank, the notes flooded my senses and I closed my eyes and for a moment in time forgot all else but the music.  
  
 **** _Fremantle_  
  
Port Bar: Private room  
  
11:30 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. *  
  
Frozen. My heart had stopped beating. Faint. I felt as if I would fall to pieces and never be able to be put together again. My world had been blown apart. But, I couldn’t form the coherent thoughts to go with the tumultuous emotions swirling inside me. I let my cell phone slip from my hand onto the floor. I tasted salt from my tears; wetting my cheeks tiny drops trickled, relentlessly, visible signs of my distress. Joel, who was sitting opposite me, drinking lightly, leaned over the table and frowned.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
I shook my head reluctantly. After Kav had found me in the hallway and we had gone back to the studio, we’d headed out onto the town to have dinner and then found our way to this bar. I didn’t want to spoil their night. But, Joel was persistent. Once I shook my head, he set his can down on the table and moved to sit next to me.  
  
“What’s wrong? Who was calling you?”  
  
Gazing down at my hands, I shook my head again. This time to indicate I didn’t want to tell him that. Again he persisted, answering for me.  
  
“It was Pierre.”  
  
I peered up at him. Then nodded slightly. He sighed.  
  
“What happened?” The same question Kav had asked me earlier. Wiping the back of my hand across my eyes I answered shakily.  
  
“He said something to upset me. But, I don’t want to talk about it.”  
  
“Why not?” Typical guy. Always so clueless.  
  
“Joel, please…it’s nothing.”  
  
“Heh. If it’s nothing…why are you crying?”  
  
I brushed furiously at the tears on my cheeks.  
  
“I’m not…please…I don’t want to talk about it.”  
  
Joel opened his mouth to protest but Kav slid on the chair next to him and shoved him away.  
  
“Leave her alone. She doesn’t want to talk about it.”  
  
I sent a grateful smile his way; then I leaned my head back against the wall, closing my eyes. I didn’t want to think, or feel, or do anything. I just wanted to block out all thoughts, all conscious action. Because I knew if I let my mind even stir a little, everything Pierre had said on the phone would overwhelm me and I wouldn’t have the ability to function. Kav leaned over and pressed a hand to my shoulder.  
  
“Hey…hey? Want a drink?”  
  
I slit open an eye and gazed at him for a long moment; nodding slightly, I closed it again and mumbled.  
  
“Wouldn’t mind a Cruiser…or three…”  
  
I vaguely heard him respond then shuffling as he got up and wandered off. To get my drink, I suppose. Breathing deeply, I bent down and picked up my phone putting it back in my purse then I sighed heavily and tilted my head against the wall again. With my eyes closed, I just listened to the guys as they conversed randomly and drunkenly on Stu’s part, and then I started slightly as I felt something cold being pressed in my hand. Opening my eyes again, I found myself gazing at a bottle of Vodka and soda. I glanced at Kav who smiled kindly at me.  
  
“Drink up…” his eyes danced, “I promise it’ll drown all your sorrows…for now at least.”  
  
Now was all I cared about. I lifted it up then took a long pull. Then swallowing, the burn as it slid down my throat. I gasped then grinned at him.  
  
“I’ll drink to that.”


	11. "Turn me into someone whole..."

_**“I’m not a jigsaw and I’m not a chocolate block  
  
I’m just another hungry soul  
  
Hoping somehow you can make up  
  
For all the missing pieces  
  
Turn me into someone whole…”  
  
Month Later  
  
Thursday May 10th, 2007  
  
Murdoch Uni  
  
11 AM  
  
* Third Person p.o.v. ***_  
  
Damien pulled his jacket close to his body, clutching it with one hand as he held his mobile up to his face with the other. He was engaged in discussion, whilst heading to his next class.  
  
“You did  _what_? You can’t be serious? How’d she take it? …Ah so she’ll be…upset, eh? …Oh? How long has it been…over a month? But they tend to get over things a lot slower than we do…”  
  
He waved absently to some guys passing him from the other direction, lowering his voice.  
  
“What do you want me to do? …Um…sure, I can do that. She’s already beginning to trust me. Maybe not as much as she trusts Temperley…but then she’s living with him.” Damien paused, then chuckled. “Of course. No worries at all. Oh, by the way. I hear it’s your birthday…heh…have a good one, eh.”  
  
He glanced up as he approached the room where his class was.  
  
“Look, I’ve got class now…I’ll call back in a few days, okay? Cool. See ya.”  
  
Damien hung up, just in time as Marly appeared around the corner also heading for the same class. He jogged to catch up to her, letting his gaze linger on her jeans covered arse. Then he pasted a warm smile on his lips.  
  
“Hey,” Marly greeted him as she walked into the room ahead of him. “Ready for another confusing workshop?”  
  
Damien snorted. “As long as those two girls in last week’s don’t start arguing with James again, we should be okay.”  
  
“You hope.”  
  
He instantly picked up on the tension that had crept into her voice. She was upset about something. He aimed to find out exactly what it was before day’s end. He knew it wouldn’t be too difficult to get her to confide in him. They had been getting closer throughout the course of the education units.  
  
For one class they were working on a presentation together and when Marly wasn’t with Eskimo Joe or Sheri, she was with him studying or just having a coffee or two. Over the coffee sessions, Marly had told him about her past, the truth, not what she had told him when they’d met in that first lecture. Everything, including the time when Pierre had called and told her she was still a slave. He had been a sounding board for all her frustrations, not offering much, just a sympathetic ear.  
  
Damien made a mental note as he took a seat next to her close to the whiteboard: _Phase two…almost complete…_  
  
Of course the lynch pin of the second phase would be if Marly decided to take the relationship a step further. However, whether that occurred depended entirely on how she was handling the knowledge of Pierre’s betrayal. He hoped that if all went according to plan that she would run to him for solace and then he could move forward into the final and most vital phase. First things first though. Damien had to discover what was bothering Marly at the current moment in time and then somehow try to convince her that he could help.  
  
He flipped open his notebook and rocked back on his chair, casting a lopsided grin her way. Marly giggled and pushed at his arm.  
  
“What’s that look for, Damo?”  
  
“Because you’re so hot, Marlz. Why do you think?”  
  
She laughed, rolling her eyes.  
  
“So like you to say something like that about me.”  
  
Damien’s smile softened.  
  
“It’s true though.”  
  
A hint of rose coloured her cheeks, and she cast her eyes to the floor, only for a split second but the motion was not lost on his ever-watchful gaze. He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently.  
  
“I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”  
  
She glanced at him then away just as James walked through the doorway and announced to the class:  
  
“Guys, I’ve decided I am going to give you all the exam questions…two weeks before the exams. So you can basically write out your answers and bring them in with you.”  
  
Damien snorted and muttered sideways to Marly.  
  
“Looks like he doesn’t believe in exams.”  
  
“I told you,” she whispered back, somewhat triumphantly.  
  
He tapped his pen against the desk, looking a little disgruntled. She sensed this and touched his arm lightly with the tips of her fingers.  
  
“Hey, I have to be right sometimes…”  
  
Damien looked down at her hand where her fingers lay softly against his skin. It felt good. He licked his lips and looked into her eyes, smiling. Marly saw something in his smile that she couldn’t decipher, nothing bad just an emotion that hadn’t been obvious before. As she gazed into his eyes, he shifted his arm so he could take hold of her hand. He took it as a good sign when she didn’t try to pull away.  
  
“Yeah, it’s a good feeling, eh?” Damien said. Marly nodded, knowing that he was referring to a lot more than what she had just been talking about. He grasped her hand for a moment longer, and then released it, picking up his pen again.  
  
He turned his eyes down to the notes in his book and began scribbling away as James began to explain some important concepts. Marly followed suit. However, they both inadvertently shifted their chairs closer, so their thighs were almost grazing against each other. Damien’s lips curved into a tiny smile.  
  
 _Phase two…nearing completion…_  
  
 _ **Sunday May 13th, 2007  
  
Riverview Church  
  
8:45 AM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
 _For God so loved the world, He gave His only son, and who ever believes in Him will receive eternal life. – John 3:16._  
  
The Word of God. It sounded so beautiful, yet so simple. But was it true. I stared down at the Bible lying in my lap. Then I lifted my head looking to my left. Damien slouched there, arms folded loosely over his chest, eyes half-closed in prayer.  
  
I turned to my right. Sheri sat with Kav to  _her_  right, leaning her head against his shoulder. They looked so comfortable with each other. I sighed, quietly, and returned my eyes to the Bible that Damien had pressed into my hands when we’d arrived at the church.  
  
Kav and Sheri had coaxed me into coming with them; Damien had just happened to be in the front entrance when we’d arrived. Said that this was his local church. Heh definitely didn’t look like any church I’d ever been to. Not that I’d been to many. Truth to say the last church I’d been in had been one of those old cathedrals back in Montreal. Nothing like the building, that Riverview Church was located. Kav told me it used to be an old television warehouse. Strange, eh.  
  
Walking inside, I noted many differences compared to a ‘traditional’ church. It was more like an auditorium than a church. Damien mentioned to me that the Pastor liked to call Riverview the ‘Church for people who don’t like Church.’ I could understand that entirely. The vibe of the place was completely open, welcoming and I felt more relaxed than I had ever been before. That really surprised me. Of course, Damien told me that I’d probably be most surprised when the Pastor came on to give the message. But I’ll reserve judgement until that happens.  
  
I tilted my head back listening to the music they were playing in the auditorium before the service began. Damien nudged my knee with his. I smiled at him.  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
“Good song, eh?”  
  
I shrugged. “I guess…who is it?”  
  
“Newsboys… _Something Beautiful_.”  
  
I smirked. “Definitely a beautiful song…”  
  
Damien chuckled lightly, and casually draped an arm around my shoulders.  
  
“I know something beautiful…”  
  
I leaned into his side.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
He lowered his voice and murmured in my ear gently.  
  
“You…”  
  
I blushed and looked down. He touched my face lightly then squeezed me around my shoulders.  
  
“Truth.”  
  
I just nodded, unable to look at him. He withdrew his arm, patting me on the leg. I kept staring at the floor. I had a feeling that all the attention he was giving me was a good thing. I knew I had to stop thinking about Pierre. There was no way we’d ever be back together again, not after what he’d told me a month ago. Yet my heart still ached for him.  
  
I don’t think I could ever love anyone like I loved him. And I didn’t think that anyone could ever love me…not with all the baggage that I had. Not even Damien…but…I peeked at him from the corner of my eyes. He was a good guy…and I’d be stupid to reject his advances. He truly seemed to care for me…and maybe really like me. And to be honest, I liked him as well.  
  
Sitting up, I was about to speak to him when the song finished and the worship team leader (“That’s Paul…” Sheri tells me) stepped up to the microphone, readjusting his acoustic and welcomed everybody in the church.  
  
“Why don’t you stand up, we’re gonna worship God this morning and um…pray that his kingdom will come…y’know, it says in 1 John 3  _How great is the love that the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called the sons of God…_ yeah? Are we ready to worship? Thank You Lord. Lord we just pray this morning that you’d be already in this place and uh…Lord we thank You that You watch over us and You have called us Your sons and daughters…so we praise You this morning and pray that You are pleased in our worship in Jesus’ name…yeah?”  
  
I glanced sideways at Sheri and Kav who were on their feet gazing upwards. I then looked at Damien; he smiled at me and stood. I got up next to him searching for his hand with mine. He squeezed lightly and pulled me close to his side. As Paul led the church into worship, I couldn’t help but think that this felt just right.  
  
Tightening my hold on Damien’s hand I thought,  _this is what I’m supposed to be doing…living life…searching for something new…putting the past behind me. Yeah…that sounds good. Real good._  
  
 _ **Friday May 12th, 2007  
  
Tit 4 Tat, Parlour de Tattoo  
  
8:45 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
“What do you think, Chelle?”  
  
I turned in the tattooist’s chair and held out my left arm. Rochelle gingerly reached out to trace her fingertips over the finished art. I smiled softly, watching as she examined it closely. It had taken three weeks for Raul to complete the sleeve design and it hurt like a bitch, but the finished product was well worth the number of lollypops Rochelle had bought for me to suck on to distract me from the pain. I still had the stick of the last one dangling from the corner of the mouth, chewing slowly on the end.  
  
She glanced up at me, eyes sparkling.  
  
“Amazing…” She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. Pulling the stick from my mouth, I turned my head slightly so our lips touched. She smelled of peppermint, sharp, clean…cool. My girl.  
  
“Amazing,” she repeated intimately, her breath sending shivers down my spine.  
  
“Just like you,” I teased, kissing her harder. She giggled, the vibrations sending a shock through me, then stepped back as Raul moved forward to give the tattoo one last examination, making sure he had made no mistakes. Which would be a pain if he had. Pun intended.  
  
“Right,” he grinned. “You’re all set to go.”  
  
 _Phew…_  
  
Pushing up out of the chair, I pulled my wallet from my back pocket. Rochelle stopped me and nuzzled against my neck.  
  
“I’ll pay…”  
  
“Chelle…”  
  
“No, I insist,” she giggled, again, adding slyly, “You’ll just have to buy me an extra expensive ring…”  
  
I looked sharply at her. She smiled innocently. I frowned. She stuck out her bottom lip. I shook my head. We hadn’t talked about how serious our relationship was becoming. For the past month, I had been avoiding the issue because then it meant I had to stop thinking about Marly. Not that it would be a bad thing, but it’d just be difficult. Especially when I had plans… I sighed.  
  
“Alright…don’t look at me like that…” She was still pouting at me. “You can pay.”  
  
Rochelle smiled brightly, turning to Raul and flashing her Credit card. As they bartered prices, I observed her movements silently; every motion was confident and graceful. Her figure was lithe, but curvaceous; I don’t know whether I’ve mentioned before, but I do like a girl who has shape. Stick figures aren’t my thing, unless I’m drawing a picture. Hah, I’m definitely not a fucking artist. Can tell you that now. Unlike Raul. He is the best fucking tattoo artist here in Laval. I knew he’d do my design justice.  
  
I held my arm at eye level and smirked. Too fucking good. I couldn’t wait to show the guys.  
  
Stepping behind Rochelle, I slid my arms around her waist pulling her back against my chest. Leaning down to her ear I murmured, “Thanks, Hun…”  
  
I heard the amusement in her voice as she responded.  
  
“Don’t thank me here, Pierre…”  
  
I didn’t answer, as I was too busy focussing on how good she felt pressed into my body, her arse grinding against my cock.  
  
 _So fucking hot._  
  
Raul raised his eyebrows, then winked at Rochelle.  
  
“Take him home, Ro…I think he needs some, no?”  
  
I snorted. She laughed, casting a suggestive glance my way. Rolling my eyes, I squeezed my arms firmly around her waist.  
  
“I’m always in need of some of that,” I chuckled, pressing my lips against the back of her head. She sighed, as if exasperated and swatted my arm softly.  
  
“Down, boy…”  
  
Sniffing, I released her so she could put her card back into her purse. Then touching a hand to her shoulder, I smiled.  
  
“But seriously, Chelle…thanks.”  
  
Rochelle met my gaze with her warm eyes and nodded slightly. That was all the welcome I needed. Jerking my chin at Raul in an expression of gratitude, I then turned and strode out of the store, Rochelle right at my side. She linked her arm with mine and we walked out into the warm night air, stopping at the curb. She stood in front of me and I snaked my arms around her waist, linking my hands with hers. We stood there on the pavement, silently for a long while. Not moving, just standing close together.  
  
Somehow, I felt complete. A feeling I don’t think I’d ever truly experienced. Fucking weird, eh? Here was I a man who once upon a time thought that owning someone was the way to feel fulfilled, hence my attachment to Marly. But, ever since meeting Rochelle, it was as if my eyes had been reopened.  
  
I guess, that I was beginning to feel that there was more to a relationship than just…dominating someone else…probably why I felt so well disposed to Marly…why I thought I loved her. Why…I told her I had freed her. I don’t know. Pretty fucking screwed up if you ask me. I must’ve been on something when I did that.  
  
Still, a part of me still wants to have that control…and honestly, I still have. Just not with Rochelle. She has me twirled around her little finger. And I’m, to be quite honest here - which doesn’t happen often, I must admit – very happy with that arrangement. Sure, I still have to deal with my baggage…the left over bits…but that’s really not important anymore. It’s not the bigger picture…  
  
Smiling at my thoughts, I shifted position, draping my left arm around Rochelle’s shoulder, pulling her tight against my side. She looked up at me and then leaned her head on my shoulder. Rubbing her back, I began to lead her down the path back to my car, tickling her side gently.  
  
“C’mon. Let’s go home.”  
  
She giggled, and wriggled out of my grasp, trotting ahead of me. Tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder, she called back to me.  
  
“Race you to the car!”  
  
Laughing, I jogged after her, as she seemed to float across the cement and ease her way to the car. As I caught up to her I couldn’t help but think that I was so goddamned lucky to have a woman like her in my life.  
  
Seizing her around the waist, I spun her around and pressed her against the passenger side door. She gripped my upper arms as I brought my lips crashing down against hers, capturing her mouth in the sweetest, yet most passionate of kisses. She tasted of peppermint…I think I already mentioned that…fuck…so sharp…so fresh…Just what I need to complete my world. Exactly what I need, nothing more…nothing less.  
  
Pulling away, I let her slip into the passenger side as I went to the driver’s side, still savouring the taste of her on my lips. Glancing over at her as I started up the car, I reached over and squeezed her hand. I couldn’t wait to get home, and spend more time with this amazing woman.  
  
 _ **Bouvier Apartment  
  
9:10 PM**_  
  
When we arrived back at the apartment, I was surprised to see that we had a visitor. Jake was propped up against the wall next to the door, and the expression on his face was, well, to say the least, pretty unfriendly.  
  
“Hey?”  
  
I lifted an eyebrow as I dug around for my keys in my pockets. Patting the front and then the back, scowling. Rochelle nudged my hip and held them out to me. I smirked at her; must’ve dropped them as we were heading up from the car. Jake pushed away from the wall and took a step toward us, his lips drawn together, tight, controlled.  
  
“I need to talk to you.”  
  
I unlocked the door, pushing it open, motioning for Rochelle to go in a head of me. As she slipped passed I turned to face the other man, narrowing my gaze on his determined expression.  
  
“About?”  
  
He didn’t hesitate.  
  
“Marly.” He moved closer and glared directly into my face. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing to her?”  
  
There was anger evident in his eyes, but I didn’t flinch. Shrugging casually, I made to enter the apartment. Jake stuck his arm out, blocking my way. I growled low in my throat.  
  
“Get outta my way…”  
  
“No. Not until you tell me what’s  _really_  going on. The Guild is keeping me in the dark, and I’m worried about her.”  
  
Breathing hard through my nose, I glowered at him.  
  
“Why should you care so much? She’s not your responsibility anymore.”  
  
“She’s not yours,” Jake retorted. I laughed, harshly.  
  
“Oh, she’s still  _my_  responsibility. She will be until the day she dies.” Absently massaging my left arm, I shook my head. “You don’t get it, do you?”  
  
“No. I don’t. That’s why I’m here.”  
  
I groaned, and looked inside to where I could hear Rochelle moving around, getting comfortable in the living room.  
  
“Look, this isn’t a good time.”  
  
“No? Of course not, you don’t want to help me understand, that’s fine. I get it. You don’t even care.” Jake stared coldly at me. I just looked back at him, blank. He sighed and turned away. “Forget it. I’ll find out what’s going on. Somehow. You’re not the only person with contacts in Australia.”  
  
Leaning my palm against the doorframe, I sneered at him.  
  
“Good luck in finding out what you want to know. You’ll need it.” He stared at me. Stepping back further into the apartment, I smiled, almost sadly, at him. “You won’t find the answers from anyone in Oz…you’d have better luck convincing me to tell you what’s really going on…but, as you’ve already gathered, I really can’t be fucked. So…good bye.”  
  
With that, I slammed the door in his face and walked inside, leaving him high and dry. I didn’t care what he did. No matter what he found out, it wouldn’t change what would happen in the long run. Still, I had other things to think about. Like the hot blonde chick in my living room. She was my present…and my future…time to avail myself of her pleasures…  
  
 _ **Guild HQ  
  
Jake’s Office  
  
10 PM  
  
* Third Person p.o.v. ***_  
  
Jake paced the floor of his office, pen dangling from the corner of his mouth. The shades were drawn shut on the streetlights outside the building. Not that he would have been looking out of the window if they had been open. His mind was in too much of a mess to worry about what was going on outside the room, let alone the building.  
  
“Fuck, what the hell is Pierre thinking?” He muttered aloud, his voice echoing hollowly in the room. Slapping his hand on his thigh, turning to continue his aimless walk, crossing the carpeted floor, he attempted to think through the implications of what Pierre had told him.  
  
He had no idea what was going on, no one in the Guild was being forward about the situation and that was highly unusual. Normally Jake would’ve been the first port of call for any dealings with the life of a former slave, particularly one who had been through his guardianship. However, it was as if someone was bending the rules to suit Pierre’s own purposes.  
  
Jake stopped moving and squeezed his eyelids with his fingers, realising something: _No…someone else isn’t changing the rules…it’s Pierre…he’s doing this…but what exactly? And why?_  
  
He shook his head in frustration. He couldn’t figure it out. And he still couldn’t understand how Pierre knew enough about Marly’s situation to even be acting this way.  
  
Scratching at his cheek, Jake walked back to his desk and picked up the phone. He had no solutions to this dilemma but he did have a few cards up his sleeve, a way to find out what was going on. Scrolling through the numbers, he found the person he’d been meaning to call for a while. His cousin: Benji Madden. The Good Charlotte bassist owed him a few favours. Hitting dial he held the phone up to his face.  
  
Click…  _“Benj speaking…”_  
  
“Madden, it’s Ango.”  
  
 _“Jake, my main man…what’s up?”_  
  
Jake chewed on his pen.  
  
“I have a huge favour to ask of you…you guys are going to Australia, right?”  
  
 _“Yeah. On tour. Should be pretty big. Why?”_  
  
“You know Marly?”  
  
 _“Yeah, Pierre’s girlfriend…”_  The way the word rolled from Benji’s tongue it was evident he knew about the real situation of Pierre’s relationship with her. Jake felt some relief at that because then he didn’t need to explain that part. Twirling his pen with his tongue, he thought before continuing.  
  
“Well, something’s going on between her and Pierre…or more to the point, Pierre is up to something. You see, the Guild separated them…with the view that they wouldn’t be part of each others’ lives anymore…”  
  
Benji interrupted him, his tone questioning,  _“So, it’s more than just that Marlz wanted to continue her education in Australia?”_  
  
Jake laughed bitterly.  
  
“That was never the real reason. Marly had no choice in the matter. Sure, that’s probably what she’s doing. But it had more to do with getting her away from Pierre’s influence.”  
  
 _“Gotcha. So, what’s the favour?”_  
  
“Okay, coming back to what I was saying about Pierre. He’s up to something…and frankly I don’t trust him.”  
  
 _“Why not? Wouldn’t it be a good thing? He was devastated when she left…or that was the impression I got.”_  
  
Jake almost choked on his pen, pulling it from his mouth and throwing it on the desk.  
  
“Nothing could be farther from the truth, Cos. He’s very happy, judging by his attitude when I saw him an hour ago.”  
  
 _“Come again?”_  Shock was evident in the other man’s voice. Benji said, voice tight, _“Are you serious? Happy? How the hell…”_  Jake frowned as he heard his cousin yelling to someone else in the room,  _“Oi…bro, get over here! Sorry, Joel just came in… What are you saying? Pierre said to me he was going to find it hard to not have her around…”_  
  
Jake groaned and slid onto his chair, kneading his forehead.  
  
“Well, you can scrap that thought. He’s got himself a new woman…some leggy blonde…disgusting…” He clenched his fist. “Look, I know this doesn’t make any sense. I’m confused as hell as to what’s going on. But really what it boils down to is this: I’m winging it…just pulling ideas from my ass…and well, you guys are going to be in Australia…”  
  
A contemplative silence filled the line and Jake could almost hear his cousin thinking on the other end.  
  
 _“Well, she’s in Western Australia. And I know exactly where because she’s emailed us a few times…she’s staying with the frontman of Eskimo Joe now. Um…I guess what you want us to do is look out for her, right?”_  
  
“Exactly. That’s exactly what I need. Just…find out what’s going on from her end…it’ll help me…a little. I don’t know how…but it will. And I know she trusts you guys…”  
  
There was softness to Benji’s response.  
  
 _“She does. She’s a good friend. And I’ve always tried to be friendly with her. She deserves to be treated properly.”_  He sighed.  _“We’ll keep an eye out for her.”_  
  
Jake let out a long sigh.  
  
“Thanks. I owe you…”  
  
 _“No. You don’t. We were planning on going to see her, anyways…and I’m doing this out of the goodness of my heart…Oi…shut up, Joel…”_  Laughter on the other end of the line and Joel’s voice came through in the distance.  
  
 _“Softy!”_  
  
Jake chuckled. “Like Joel can talk.”  
  
Benji agreed.  _“He’s as good as me…look gotta go finish getting organised…we’ll keep in touch, ‘kay?”_  
  
“Y’know why you’re so good…but people don’t expect it.” Jake was just rambling, not wanting to end the conversation just yet.  
  
 _“Why?”_  
  
“Those tatts. Make you look…y’know?”  
  
Benji laughed heartily.  _“Well, I always say, ‘tattoos do not maketh the man…the heart does’.”_  
  
“Never a truer word was spoken.” Jake grinned. “I’ll talk to ya later, man.”  
  
 _“Later, buddy.”_  
  
After Jake hung up, he swung around in his chair, clasped his hands behind his head and let out a long, relieved sigh. A weight had been unburdened from his shoulders, still present but not so immense and all consuming.  
  
He could rest assured in the knowledge that Benji, and Joel, would do what they could to help the situation. And he would get closer to the answer he was seeking. Things were beginning to happen. And that was always good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song credit: Pieces by Paul Morrison


	12. Good Morning Revival

_**Saturday May 26th, 2007  
  
Burswood Dome, Perth  
  
3 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Burswood Dome was in serious need of an upgrade. Compared to other venues it appeared sparse, and under-equipped. The Dome only accommodated 16,000 people maximum, including the floor area, which would do for Good Charlotte or Eskimo Joe but only because they usually played more than one night. The stage had to be set up prior to the band’s arrival due to the Dome actually being a sports arena: Tennis, I think. It looked like a pretty good set up from where I was standing.  
  
Sheri and I stood gazing up at the stage where Benji Madden was attempting to set the levels on his bass. The guys from Good Charlotte had arrived on a ‘red-eye’ flight yesterday morning and had apparently slept all last night  _and_  this morning only just arriving at the Dome at 2:30 PM.  
  
I have to tell you, I was extremely glad to see some more familiar faces; I was still so homesick, almost to the point that some days I felt so low that I just wanted to end it all. Being with Sheri and Kav helped ease the discomfort and Damien…God, he’s been so good to me. I’d been considering possibly moving in with him. But, something was preventing me from taking that final step.  
  
I’m not sure what it was, but I was hoping to talk to Benji about it. I knew he’d be able to give me some good advice. And, truthfully, I trusted him more than I trusted a lot of people. Since he had been friends with the guys in SP, I’d gotten close to him, well as close as I was permitted being with Pierre and all. But now that I was not with Pierre in any sense of the term…  
  
Looking back up at the stage, I grinned. Benji caught my eye.  
  
“What’s so funny?”  
  
I blinked, innocently, glancing sideways at Sheri.  
  
“I’m not laughing, are you, Sheri?”  
  
She brushed a hand through her long blonde hair.  
  
“Nope. Not me.” She walked over to lean on a barrier. I looked back up at Benji.  
  
He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Okay, let me rephrase that. What are you smiling about?”  
  
Shrugging, I pulled my arse up onto the stage and swung my legs against the side.  
  
“You almost done?”  
  
“Yeah…” Benji swung his bass over his shoulder, passing it over to the technician and sitting down next to me. “How are you, anyways? You sound like things are going okay…judging by your emails.”  
  
I smiled wistfully at him.  
  
“Yeah…I guess…”  
  
He lifted an eyebrow, folding his tattooed arms across his broad chest.  
  
“Hun, you can’t fool me…something’s up.”  
  
I shook my head.  
  
“Everything’s fine. I…met someone.”  
  
His eyes narrowed.  
  
“How do you mean?”  
  
“A guy…at school…” I lifted my eyes to meet his. A frown creased his brow; thoughts moved in his dark eyes. “Benji?”  
  
Benji rubbed at the bridge of his nose.  
  
“What about Pierre?”  
  
I winced at his name, and looked down at the floor. I heard him sigh gently.  
  
“Marly…”  
  
I trembled. “Benj…Pierre…he…it’s over between us…I don’t really want to explain…”  
  
Benji grimaced, smoothing a hand over his shaved head.  
  
“Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to…”  
  
I looked at him, confused. He smiled.  
  
“You know I know Jake.”  
  
I nodded. Benji went on, the smile fading.  
  
“Well, he called me a couple of weeks ago…”  
  
“What about?” I was curious. Before Benji could answer though, Joel came over and interrupted.  
  
“Hey, sorry…but I kinda need to steal my brother back.”  
  
“Oh…okay…”  
  
Benji reached over to hug me gently around the shoulders.  
  
“We’ll talk later ‘kay?”  
  
I nodded slowly, looking down at the floor again. He squeezed me then stood up and walked over to join the other members of his band. I slid off the stage and went back over to Sheri who was flipping through a magazine.  
  
“Hey, Sher…did Kav say he was coming to the gig tonight?”  
  
She looked up at me, closing the magazine.  
  
“Yeah. EJ don’t have any commitments tonight, which is nice. Joel’s coming as well. Not sure if Stu is. Have you asked Damien?”  
  
Sitting next to her, I nodded.  
  
“Yep, he said he’s going to invite Paul. Y’know from Church.”  
  
“Yeah, the worship pastor? He’s a lovely bloke. You’ll really get along with him.”  
  
I smiled.  
  
“Yeah, he seems nice.”  
  
We’d gone to the Church again Sunday just gone, I’d been introduced to the worship team leader, he seemed like a down-to-earth kind of guy, and he’d been very welcoming. And meeting him made me aware of the fact that I really wanted to just surround myself with nice, caring people; but also people who were honest about themselves, and who were not afraid to be themselves. For me, that was important. What was also important was for me to figure out who I really was. Because I did not truly know. Was I going to let my past dictate the person I was? Or would I be emancipated?  
  
I like that word: emancipate…to set oneself free. That was what I felt I needed to do. Wasn’t sure how, just yet; but, I knew I’d figure it out in the long run.  
  
“Hey, Marly!”  
  
I turned to look toward one of the entrances. Damien was jogging toward us, a pleased grin lighting up his face. His emerald eyes flashed excitedly as he came to a halt in front of Sheri and I. Sheri gave a little wave. I stood and moved forward to embrace him. He hugged me back, hard. He was a lot lighter in build than Pierre; however, he was still strongly built. He’s a long distance runner in his spare time. I looked into his face.  
  
“What’s got you so happy?”  
  
Damien licked his lips.  
  
“Paul says he’s definitely going to come to the gig tonight…and he wanted me to give you this…” I wondered what that was; then a lump formed in my throat as he pressed a Bible into my hands.  
  
“Damien…what…?”  
  
Damien touched his fingers to my lips.  
  
“Don’t say anything, hun…it’s a gift…” He smiled tenderly. “‘ _You shall know the Truth…and the Truth shall set you free…_ ’”  
  
I trembled, staring down at the book in my hands. It was bound in pure white leather; HOLY BIBLE was embossed on the cover in gold lettering. I traced my fingers over the letters, and then looked up into Damien’s vivid green stare. His eyes glinted. And then, suddenly he leaned forward and pressed his lips lightly against mine. Time froze and it was just my lips against his.  
  
He lifted a hand to cradle my cheek, deepening the kiss. Then he drew back and just looked at me. Breathlessly, I stepped back, clasping the Bible to my breasts with one hand and absently pressing my fingers to my lips.  
  
Damien tilted his head to the side, smiling crookedly. I looked away, nervous. He reached out and caressed my face. Leaning into his touch, I sighed. He moved closer to me and pulled me into his arms. As we stood there, Benji came back across the stage and looked down toward us. I noticed him and waved him over.  
  
“Benji, come down here.”  
  
Benji jumped off the stage and strolled over, tucking his hands into his pockets. He nodded to Damien. Damien nodded back.  
  
“Hi, I’m Damien.”  
  
I swallowed. “He’s the guy I was talking about before, Benj.”  
  
Benji’s eyes narrowed.  
  
“Ah. At college right?”  
  
Damien chuckled.  
  
“University…yeah. I’m in most of her classes.”  
  
“Mhm.”  
  
I frowned a little. Benji was being less than welcoming and that surprised me; usually he was pleased to meet someone new. I moved away from Damien and grabbed his arm speaking low.  
  
“What is your problem?”  
  
Benji shot a look at me.  
  
“I need to talk to you.”  
  
I shook my head.  
  
“Don’t change the subject.”  
  
“I’m not.” He cast a sour eye toward Damien. “Tell me, are you two – together?”  
  
I sighed, exasperated, forgetting that I’d wanted to talk to him about exactly that.  
  
“What does it matter? He makes me happy.”  
  
Benji shook his head.  
  
“You should make yourself happy; you don’t need a guy to do that.”  
  
I retorted, “You’re a guy, what would you know?”  
  
Letting go of his arm, I walked back over to Damien.  
  
“Come on, I’m hungry. Let’s go grab a bite to eat whilst the band finishes sound check.”  
  
He took my hand and we headed for the exit. Benji yelled after us.  
  
“Marlz, we still need to talk!”  
  
I looked back at him.  
  
“Later!”  
  
Then I turned away and let Damien lead me out of the arena.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **Fremantle  
  
Guild of Doms & Subs  
  
4 PM  
  
* Third Person p.o.v. ***_  
  
“Good afternoon, Freo Guild, Dominic speaking…ah, Mr Bouvier. What can I do for you today?”  
  
The guild official swung round on his chair, pulling out several files as he listened to Pierre on the other end of the line.  
  
“Heh, isn’t it real early over there? Uhuh…Damien sent you an urgent text?”  
  
He flipped through the file until he found the document he was looking for.  
  
“Well, Damien sent us a form stating where he was at…yes, that’s the one. You want to know how far he’s come? Well, she still hasn’t moved in with him…no, I understand that…look, he hasn’t been communicating with us as much as he should…ah okay you’re dealing directly with him? So, what is it you need us to do for you?” Dominic frowned as Pierre outlined his plan. “Hang on…I’ll put this on file…”  
  
He called up a new Word document and began to input the outline as Pierre spoke, flicking the phone onto speaker.  
  
 _“Okay…this is the way it’s going to work: Step 1. She moves in with him. It’s essential that it happens soon. Damien has to convince her that it’s a good idea. Step 2. They’re together for a while and then he brings her into the Guild there. I don’t care how he does it. She needs to be there before…September. Step 3. We’re aiming to have our record done by September. Chuck thinks we’ll tour Australia first. I’ll be in Fremantle to deal with this. That all clear?”_  
  
The official read over what he’d typed then nodded.  
  
“Yes, crystal.”  
  
 _“Good. Call Damien, I’m guessing you have his contact details.”_  
  
“Yes, we do.”  
  
 _“Well, good doing business with you, then.”_  
  
“The pleasure’s all ours, Mr Bouvier.”  
  
 _ **Burswood Dome  
  
5 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Damien and I had found a deserted dressing room and were sitting on one of the benches, holding hands and talking. As we talked, he stroked his thumb over the back of my hand. Our conversation was random, about nothing important, but it was about to take a more serious turn.  
  
“Marly.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I was thinking about you maybe moving in with me?”  
  
I looked at him for a moment, gauging his expression, trying to see where this was heading. He gazed back at me.  
  
“I…don’t know. Do you think we’re ready to take that step? I mean…I still don’t know what we’re really doing…”  
  
Damien rubbed his jaw.  
  
“Well, I know how I feel about you.”  
  
Blinking, I looked down. I knew very well how he felt about me. Over the past few weeks, he’d made it abundantly clear that he was attracted to me, and wanted to know me…very well. Of course, we hadn’t slept together yet. I wasn’t ready to go down that pathway just yet. But I felt that I was beginning to fall for him. I peeked at him. He grinned lopsidedly. I tried a tentative smile.  
  
“Well, I know…I like you…” I hesitated, licking my lips carefully. “It’s just…well I don’t think I’m ready.”  
  
Damien stuck out his bottom lip.  
  
“Aww, come on. Give me a chance, eh?”  
  
“Damo, I’m not worried about you. I’m worried about myself. I just don’t think I can move in with you…”  
  
“No offence, but you can’t stay with Kav and Sheri the whole time you’re here. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind, but wouldn’t you like to be a bit more independent? And well, it’d be easier for us to spend time together if we’re living together.”  
  
I tightened my grip on his hand, staring at a stain on his blue shirt. He squeezed back and lifted a hand to rub the back of my neck.  
  
“Please tell me you’ll think about it.”  
  
“Okay,” I whispered. I heard the smile in his voice as he responded.  
  
“Thankyou. I promise you, you won’t regret it if you decide to move in…”  
  
I nodded slightly then slipped my hand from his.  
  
“We’d better get back. I want to talk to Benji about something.” I stretched. “Just catching up, y’know?”  
  
Damien sighed.  
  
“Okay, let’s go then.” He hopped off the bench, then helped me down and we left the dressing room and wandered down the corridors back to the main arena. Benji and Joel were coming toward us, laughing and joking around.  
  
“Did you see what Billy was doing?”  
  
“Yeah, he kept pulling faces at me, I couldn’t concentrate,” Benji chuckled then saw the two of us and the laughter faded from his lips. He nodded to us. Damien nodded back then looked at me.  
  
“I’m going to go get some credit for my phone…I’ll see you soon?”  
  
“Sure,” I kissed him softly on the cheek. He smiled broadly and strode away without looking back. I turned to Benji. “So, want that talk now?”  
  
He glowered at me.  
  
“Yeah, that’d be nice.”  
  
I blinked, sensing that he was upset. Before I could mention anything along those lines, he caught hold of my arm and led me back the way we’d come and steered me into exactly the same dressing room. Joel trailed behind him and leaned against the door remaining silent.  
  
“Benj?”  
  
The expression on his face was taut.  
  
“I don’t want to say this, but I really don’t trust that guy.”  
  
“You don’t even know him.”  
  
Benji folded his arms across his chest; my gaze was drawn to the art on both his arms.  
  
“Marly.” His tone was very serious. “I don’t have to know people to know I don’t trust them. He just gives off this…vibe. And I don’t like it.”  
  
I avoided his gaze continuing to study his tattoos.  
  
“Listen to me, he’s not good people. He’s…I’m not sure how to explain it. There’s just something…”  
  
I interrupted, bitterly, “You’re just jealous because you have no one in your life. I am happy for once and I think that should be more important than any  _vibes_  you’re feeling!”  
  
“Pierre made you happy.”  
  
“What the hell do you know? He pushed me away! He doesn’t even love me! He…he never loved me…”  
  
I stopped. Tears trickled unbidden from my eyes, down my face. Benji stared at me. I stared back at him, anguish gripping me. I slumped down onto the floor and began to sob.  
  
“He…never loved me, Benji…it was all an act…” Burying my face in my hands I cried, tears drenching my skirt. He crouched down next to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I leaned into his solid frame, whimpering. He stroked my hair gently. I hiccoughed as I attempted to compose myself.  
  
“You know what else he told me?”  
  
“What’s that?” Benji’s voice was low, calm, soothing. I sniffled, peering up into his sincere gaze.  
  
“He said…I was…I am…still a slave…”  
  
The silence that filled the room was heavy with shock, which extended to Joel who had been trying not to listen in to our conversation. He joined us on the floor.  
  
“He said that?” There was disbelief in the younger Madden’s voice. I nodded weakly, still sobbing softly.  
  
“Man, that’s…” Joel had no words, and shook his head. Benji breathed in deeply.  
  
“Marlz.” I looked at him, wiping my face. “Let me tell you one thing, give you one piece of advice.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Please, for me…find something to make yourself happy…truly happy. And, hun…Damien is  _not_  the answer.”  
  
I pulled away from him.  
  
“How can you say that?”  
  
Benji breathed hard through his nose before replying.  
  
“Marly. Trust me on this one.”  
  
Looking away, I dragged my fingers through my hair.  
  
“You want to know something? I started going to Church.” Silence. Not surprising since I’d deliberately changed the topic. I cleared my throat and went on. “It’s been real good…I feel like something’s changed.” Benji still said nothing. I finally lifted my gaze to meet his. “Do you think this is something that will make things better?”  
  
“What? Organised religion?” He snorted. I frowned at his flippant tone.  
  
“It seems pretty disorganised at Riverview.”  
  
Benji chuckled. “I’ve heard of that church; good people. And you’re right, totally disorganised, or a more appropriate word would be dysfunctional. But, good people. And I guess organised in its own dysfunctional way.”  
  
That made me giggle. He smiled slightly, twisting the hem of his black shirt.  
  
“So, you’ve started going to church.”  
  
“Well, I’ve been twice so far…and…I can’t explain the feeling, but…I was overcome…by this…presence.”  
  
Benji nodded. “I know how that feels. You know, if you’re going to have one person in your life…anyone at all, it should be God. Forget Damien.”  
  
I blinked. “He gave me a Bible.”  
  
“So what, keep the Bible, give your life to Jesus…forget about Damien. Like I said, I don’t trust him, neither should you. But, if you keep going to church and learning more…you’ll find you can always trust in God.” He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “ _For God so loved the world He gave His only Son; and whoever believes in Him will receive eternal life_. John 3:16.”  
  
I bowed my head.  
  
“Think about it.” Benji said quietly. “Just remember, me and Joel, we’re here for you, ‘kay?”  
  
“Thankyou.”  
  
“You’re more than welcome.” He stood. “We’d better get going.” He held his hand down to me. I grasped it, hoisting my body up off the floor. As I was about to release his hand and walk for the door he let out a long, low whistle.  
  
“You look really great…”  
  
I glanced back at him, then down at my clothes: a simple white blouse; knee-length denim skirt and a pair of black footless tights. Then I looked back at him and winked, and then pretended to look him up and down. He looked quite dapper in his black jeans and black collared shirt. With the sleeves rolled up to his biceps his tattoos were quite evident. I have to tell you I love tattoos on a man; not sure why, I just do. And then of course he’d shaved all his hair off…  
  
“You’re not looking too shabby either…I like what you’ve done with your hair.”  
  
Benji cracked up laughing; Joel rolled his eyes as he stood and walked passed me and out the door. I grinned. And followed him. Benji brought up the rear his laughter echoing all the way down the hallway.  
  
 _ **6:30 PM**_  
  
I grabbed Benji’s arm, as he was about to go on stage. He looked back at me, shifting his grip on the neck of his bass.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Benji, after the show…will you come back with me to Kav’s?”  
  
He stared at me for a long second, and then nodded slowly.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
He grinned at me, tipping his hat against his forehead then headed onstage behind Joel. I watched for a moment as they padded silently across the stage, in the dark and positioned themselves ready for the show. Smiling, I then made my way back out to the arena and to the seats that Kav had organised. We were in the front row on the left side of the stage, facing the floor area. It was the closest we could get to the stage in the seat section.  
  
Damien was there with Paul, leaning over the railing. I slipped passed several people and stood next to them, nudging Damien in the side.  
  
“Hey, how long have you been here?”  
  
He turned to me, hugging me round the waist.  
  
“Not long, um…fifteen minutes? Right, Morro?”  
  
Paul nodded, his shaggy brown hair flicking into his face.  
  
“Yep, that sounds about right. How long’ve you been here?”  
  
I laughed. “Since before three. Was here whilst the guys were doing sound check.”  
  
Paul’s eyebrows lifted.  
  
“You know them personally?”  
  
Leaning over the railing, and absently twisting a lock of my hair around my fingers, I smiled wistfully.  
  
“They’re close friends of mine. I’ve known them for almost five years.”  
  
He nodded; I added, just to keep the conversation going, “They’re devout Christians…”  
  
“Yeah? I heard that.” Paul smiled. I looked at him then looked back toward the stage as the opening chords of  _Good Morning Revival_ …filled the arena. The show was about to begin.


	13. "Estimate the risk involved..."

_**“Estimate the risk involved  
It all comes down to a burning soul  
And one little desire called loved…”  
  
Montreal  
  
Bouvier Apartment  
  
6:30 AM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
 _Too fucking early…_  
  
I smeared the back of my hand across my eyes, as sunlight filtered through the open blinds. I didn’t really have the right to complain about waking up early, I’d already been up for three hours. But it had been dark earlier on and the light was assaulting my senses. You might wonder why I was up. Well, I had a call to make. And shit to get organised. Too many things to do before heading to the studio. Fuck, I don’t even know why I bothered.  
  
I sat on the edge of the bed, still clutching my cell phone in my hand. I don’t know why really, probably just waiting to see if Damien would call. Hoping that he would actually, because then I could figure out what my next step was going to be. Hah, guess you have no clue what I’m talking about? So, I reckon I can tell you now.  
  
You remember that conversation I had with Chuck? About Marlz still being a slave…and how he’d had her taken away from me. That was almost three years ago now. Not me talking to Chuck, her being taken away… The Guild was going to have her…disposed of. At the time, I had been fucking devastated and furious at what they did to her. I’d been all self-righteous about it and somehow, by sheer luck, she had been saved and I got her back. Then I did a very stupid thing. I told her I loved her and would never let anything like that ever happen to her again. Totally, fucking stupid, right? Right.  
  
Well, I aim to fix all that. She’ll probably hate me for it. No, she will hate me. Not that there will be time for her to even think about hating me. But whatever. I couldn’t care less. It’s nothing personal. It’s just something that has to be done. Anyway, my affections lie elsewhere. Actually, she’s lying in my bed right now…  
  
I glanced to the other side of the king-size bed. Rochelle lay on her right side, eyes closed still deeply asleep. Her right hand was curled against her breasts and they rose and fell as she breathed steadily. Rubbing my left arm, kneading my fingers into the tattoo, I shifted to lie next to her. I wanted to watch her as she woke. Which she was very close to doing. Her eyelashes fluttered, then slowly lifted, her eyes glimmering as she surfaced from a pleasant slumber.  
  
“Pierre…hun…” She turned her head, lifting it slightly. I smiled.  
  
“Hey, sweetie. Good sleep?”  
  
Rochelle blinked at me and reached out to rest her hand on my arm.  
  
“Yah…how long have you been up?”  
  
“Couple of hours.” I chuckled. “Ready for breakfast though.” I sat up and stood. “Want anything?”  
  
She leaned her head back on her pillow.  
  
“Bagel would be nice.”  
  
I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Well, I gotta get some milk…I’ll bring back something.”  
  
Rochelle nodded and closed her eyes again.  
  
“I’ll sleep a bit more…hurry back, eh…”  
  
Smirking, I went over to the dresser and dug around for a clean shirt. Pulling out a random top, I held it up. Green, one of my favourite colours now. Apparently, it’s the in colour at the moment. This one had a white recycling symbol on it. You know the triangle made out of arrows? Pretty cool top. Pulling it on, I grabbed my jeans from the floor and pulled those on too. Then grabbing my black Converse sneakers, I slid them on and headed out.  
  
* * * * *  
  
You know, I didn’t really tell you what I was going to do about Marly, did I? I kinda just edged around it, bullshitting a little. So, while I stand here waiting for my bagels, I really should tell you, eh? It’s real nice down in town right now. Not too busy, considering it’s so early on a Saturday. I just saw Patrick with Seb; they were doing some shopping, or something.  
  
Oh, did I tell you how they reacted to my tatt? Fucking loved it. All the guys think it’s rad. Well, okay, Chuck not so much. But he’s just been real shitty with me lately. Nothing I do is making that guy happy. Anyway, I’m still avoiding the point, aren’t I? Doing a David, eh. So, here goes…oh, hang on…  
  
I turned to the counter as the clerk called my name and handed me a large paper bag. The delicious aroma of freshly cooked bagel assaulted my nostrils; I let out a sigh and headed out of the store. I still needed to buy milk but that could wait. I was going to explain what I was doing, wasn’t I? So…  
  
Where to begin? I guess I should go back to the day the Guild first contacted me concerning my falling in love with Marly whilst she was still officially my property. Hah, she still  _is_  my property…but I digress. That was some time in early March of this year. And by that time, I’d been seeing Rochelle for over a year…yeah she has a bit to do with my decisions. Not a major part, because I had already been thinking about…getting rid of…Marly.  
  
That sounds so fucking callous doesn’t it? And I guess you could be forgiven for thinking that when I say ‘getting rid of’ that I mean ‘breaking up’ with her or fobbing her off on some other guy…like Damien. But I don’t. And I guess that makes it worse.  
  
Now you’re probably wondering, ‘what the hell does he mean then?’ So, I won’t leave you grasping for straws. You remember back in 2004…the Guild took her away from me, and they were going to have her…killed. Well, that’s what I mean. Yeah, yeah…I know. Now you’re probably thinking ‘what the fuck? What do you mean by that?’ Well, go back and read what I just said…the Guild were going to have her killed… You get me now? Good.  
  
I blinked as I found I’d walked all the way back to my apartment block without even noticing. Shit. I still hadn’t bought any milk. I can’t have coffee without milk. Look what happens when you think too much…well okay…when  _I_  think too much. Clutching the bag of bagels, I was about to make a quick turn and head back down the street when my cell phone started vibrating in my back pocket. Snatching it out, I answered brusquely.  
  
“Bouvier speaking.” I scowled. It was Chuck. “What? You have got to be kidding me. Don’t jerk me around.”  
  
Sitting on the steps leading up to the apartment, I frowned.  
  
“But, he wasn’t supposed to come until next week.” I groaned. “We’re not even fucking ready!” I put the bag between my feet and leaned forward slightly. “Dammit, Chuck! I’m not fucking ready.” I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, that’s rich…blame me. I had shit to do.”  
  
Gritting my teeth, I shook my head angrily.  
  
“No. That’s none of your business.” I stood. “Look, I’ll be there at the usual time. Okay? Okay.”  
  
Hanging up, I decided the milk could wait. Rochelle was probably wondering why I was taking so long. Gripping the bag of bagels, I headed inside the building and up the stairs to our unit. The elevator didn’t work, so I wasn’t even going to risk taking it.  
  
Reaching my apartment, I pushed the door open and strode into the kitchen, dumping the bag on the bench. I gave a cursory glance of the room. Rochelle hadn’t come in, so I walked down the hall back to my room and peered through the doorway. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling a brush through her long blonde hair. Damn, I just wanted to run my fingers through it; it was so soft and silky.  
  
Padding across the floor, I sat next to her. She looked up and a bright smile flickered across her lips.  
  
“Hey, you’re back.”  
  
I smirked.  
  
“Yeah, with breakfast.” I reached out and took the brush from her hand, leaning close to kiss her softly on the corner of her mouth.  _She smells so good…like strawberries…_  
  
Rochelle gripped my hand and nuzzled her nose against mine; then she pulled back and stood.  
  
“Come on. We’d better eat. You have to be at the studio soon.”  
  
I raised my eyebrows at her. She gave a sheepish grin.  
  
“Pat called here…”  
  
“Ah, well we’d better get goin’ then.” I sighed. First Chuck, now Pat. “Don’t want to get on Pat’s bad side…”  
  
“You could never do that.”  
  
I sniffed disdainfully. There was something I needed Pat to do for me; after I’d asked him I probably would be on his pissy side. But, I’d worry about that if and when it became an issue. I rubbed at my jaw watching as Rochelle waltzed out of the room, wiggling her ass at me. I grinned and sprang to my feet, following her down the hallway. Catching up with her, I wrapped my arms round her waist and ground myself against her ass, growling into her neck. She swatted my arm.  
  
“No time for that now, Pie…”  
  
I grunted, releasing her. I was disappointed but she was right. We had to get ready. Squeezing her arm, I went back into the kitchen and grabbed the bag of bagels.  
  
“Come on, Chelle…we can eat these on the way.”  
  
Rochelle nodded, grabbing her purse.  
  
“Let’s go, then.”  
  
As we headed out a passing thought flickered through my mind.  _Still gotta get the milk…_ I brushed the thought away. That could wait.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **Montreal Studio  
  
8:30 AM**_  
  
“No. No, there is no fucking way I’m doing that for you! I can’t believe you! You’re such an asshole!”  
  
I stood blinking stupidly at Patrick as he stabbed a finger in my direction from where he was standing on the other side of the back room. I swore I could feel it poking a hole in my head.  
  
When we’d arrived at the studio, I’d grabbed him and pulled him into the back room to ask a favour of him. Chuck was seated on the sofa watching us with a sour expression on his face. I rubbed my face wearily.  
  
“Why not? I’m pretty serious about her.” I kept my voice quiet, wishing he’d do the same. Rochelle was out in the main studio with David, I could hear her laughing at something he was saying. But, I couldn’t worry about her right now; I kept my gaze fixed on Patrick.  
  
“Fuck that. What about Marly? Did you just forget about her?” Pat was almost spitting, that was how furious he was. If looks could kill, I’d probably be dead right now. He stalked right up into my face and literally pushed his finger at my forehead. “You are such a fucking dick. How can you just forget about her? You love her, right?”  
  
I took a step back, folding my arms.  
  
“No.” I spoke so softly, it was a wonder he even heard me. Pat stared hard at me.  
  
“What did you say?”  
  
“I said, no.”  
  
“No what?” He scowled at me, confusion clouding his eyes. I groaned, thrusting my hands through my hair.  
  
“Fuck, Pat. I said  _no_. I don’t love her. ‘Kay?”  
  
“Fuck.” He blinked at me. “Fuck.”  
  
He looked over toward Chuck.  
  
“Did you know that?”  
  
Chuck nodded slightly. Pat swivelled his eyes back to me, repeated harshly.  
  
“Fuck.” He shook his head, hard. “Fuck…I can’t believe this.”  
  
He sighed wearily, and slumped down on the couch next to Chuck. I remained standing. Pat leaned his face in his hands, breathing hard. I just waited. He sighed deeply, taking several deep breaths; then he sat up and stared at me, his mouth turned down into a frown.  
  
“Why do you need me to do this?”  
  
I paced over to the door, closing it. Turning to lean my back against it, I chewed on my bottom lip.  
  
“Rochelle hardly lets me out of her sight. And I…want to surprise her.”  
  
I looked steadily at him. Chuck, still sitting next to him, got to his feet and walked toward me. I got out of his way as he pulled open the door and left, shooting a disgusted look my way before letting the door click shut behind him. I looked back toward Pat.  
  
“Look, I’ll sign a cheque and all you need to do is write in the price and…get the ring for me. Simple.” I joined him on the sofa. “I’d appreciate it.”  
  
Patrick jerked back at that, anger in his eyes.  
  
“You know what I’d appreciate? If you told me why the fuck you’re doing this? Obviously you haven’t said anything to Marly…”  
  
I snorted. “She doesn’t need to know.”  
  
“Why the fuck not?”  
  
I shrugged. “She knows I don’t love her.”  
  
Patrick looked incredulous.  
  
“She does?”  
  
Nodding a little, I leaned my elbows on my knees, clasping my hands together.  
  
“Yeah, and as far as I’m concerned that’s all she needs to know. Heh, she’s welcome to find someone else. I don’t really care.” Not that any relationship she ended up having would last long, and if everything went according to plan…I shook my head slightly. “Pat, just do this for me okay.”  
  
Pat pushed up from the couch and pointed a finger at me; his voice was hard when he spoke.  
  
“You owe me, Bouvier.” Then he walked out, shooting back over his shoulder. “And, maybe one day you’ll explain to me what’s really going on.”  
  
That I wouldn’t do. Sure, I’d tell Chuck, because he knew the whole truth anyway. But I could never tell the other guys. They all loved Marly, particularly Patrick and David. No, there was no way I could tell any of them the truth. At least not now, maybe after the fact…  
  
“Pierre!” David’s voice cut through my thoughts. I stood and walked to the doorway, leaning against the frame. David stood just on the other side, bass clutched in his hand. He grinned at me.  
  
“Andy’s gonna be here any minute…you ready to show him some of the tracks you laid?”  
  
Andy Karp is our A&R (artist and repertoire) guy…he’s a great guy, been working with us since our first album. I groaned, scratching my neck.  
  
“No. I already told Chuck that.” I shot a stern look his way. He just shrugged at me. I let out a frustrated growl. “Fuck, why did he have to come today? All I need is one more week!” I glared at Chuck. “You could’ve told me sooner.”  
  
He rolled his eyes at me.  
  
“I called you about five times in the past week, but you never picked up.”  
  
Pat walked passed carrying his camera in his hands and shot at me, “Probably too busy fucking Rochelle. And not bothering to remember he has a girlfriend in another fucking country.”  
  
Luckily Rochelle had disappeared somewhere, probably the john, so she didn’t hear his comment. I didn’t even bother responding, and walked over to a chair and slumped down on it to wait. Chuck stood and shook his head at me in disgust and went back into the other room. David glanced between us, a confused expression in his eyes. But I didn’t let that worry me practically anything confuses him. He’s like a little kid sometimes. Still, he’s a little kid who’s not afraid of confrontation…  
  
“What the hell was that about?”  
  
I glanced wearily at him.  
  
“Not important.”  
  
David planted his body right in front of me and glared at me.  
  
“If it’s to do with Marly, of course it’s important.”  
  
I snorted.  
  
“Who said anything about her? They were talking about Rochelle.” David ignored what I’d just said and ploughed on.  
  
“Fuck, I don’t get you. You were all pissed off and upset before she left. And now it’s like you don’t even care about her.”  
  
I just looked at him. David folded his arms; I could see his thoughts rotating through his mind. He was thinking hard.  
  
“Tell me, Pierre. Has this got anything to do with that thing Marly said that time when we went bowling?”  
  
I felt my eyebrows shoot up.  
  
 _Shit…he remembered that?_  “What thing?”  
  
“Y’know? How she said you…uh…‘bought’ her…I mean what the hell was that?”  
  
I stared at him, trying to gauge his expression. He just continued to glare at me, quite unusual for him. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen David pissed off like this before. I sighed and looked down, mumbling almost under my breath.  
  
“That was the truth…”  
  
David took a step away from me and shook his head.  
  
“No. She was joking, right? People don’t do that. You can’t buy…”  
  
I cut him off harshly, “You can. I did…” I groaned. “Technically my Dad did…”  
  
“What?” He shook his head in denial. “No way. There is no way.”  
  
I looked up at him.  
  
“Ask Chuck. He’ll tell you the same.”  
  
David’s usually light, hazel eyes were now almost black as he stared incredulously at me.  
  
“Fuck, Chuck knows about this?”  
  
“He’s always known,” I admitted. I rested my forehead in my hands and peered up at my friend, watching the emotions passing in rapid succession across his face. He finally just looked at me with a sad look in his eyes.  
  
“So…you really don’t care about her.” It wasn’t a question. I nodded, dropping my eyes; I couldn’t handle seeing the sorrow on his face. I hadn’t wanted him to find out about it at all. I knew how he felt about Marly.  
  
I heard David sigh, then walk away without another word. I lifted my head just in time to see him get behind the drum kit and start playing. He was upset. But, I couldn’t let that get to me. I stood, just as Chuck walked back into the main studio. Patrick reappeared, as did Rochelle. Sebastien and Jeff walked in and as they did the buzzer went off. Andy had arrived. Time to get to work…  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **10:45 AM**_  
  
“So Andy, you think we’ll have a single ready for September?”  
  
I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow at Andy who sat at the table opposite Chuck and I. We’d just spent the past couple of hours letting Andy listen to every track from scratch. Personally, I thought he was suitably impressed. I knew I was, not that I’m biased or anything, heh. He chewed on the end of his pen. David who was leaning against the wall behind us, laughed suddenly.  
  
“Hey, Karpy…you shouldn’t do that, you might poison yourself.”  
  
I snorted. “David, that’s why they use non-toxic ink in the pens, so you don’t do that.”  
  
Andy smiled. “Don’t worry, if it was a pencil I wouldn’t be chewing on it.”  
  
David frowned, confused.  
  
“But pencils aren’t made from lead anymore.”  
  
Chuck rolled his eyes.  
  
“Can we get on with this?”  
  
“Of course,” Andy smoothed a hand over his beard. I scratched my left arm, waiting. I had my own reasons for asking about a single. Because the sooner our first single was released, the sooner I’d be able to get my ass over to Australia.  
  
“Right, looking at the way your tracks are going…I’d say you’ll have a single out by the middle of August. Album…end of September.”  
  
I blinked. “Fuck, that soon? Sounds ambitious.”  
  
Andy laughed. “I know you guys. The more pressure put on you the better you are.”  
  
I smirked. “True. Well, that is good news though. For the fans especially. They’ve been waiting a long time for our album.”  
  
Chuck nodded. “And since I’ve already talked to Fred about designs for our cover and disc art we’re well ahead in that regard.”  
  
“Thought about touring yet?” Andy asked casually. David giggled. I looked back at him. He pushed his hands through his hair and grinned at me before speaking.  
  
“We always think about touring.”  
  
“Yeah? Maybe you could start thinking about having showers,” I joked, shifting on my chair and leaning my elbows on the table. David flipped me off and wandered away. I laughed at him then turned back to Chuck and Andy.  
  
“We haven’t put any serious thought into touring…but I thought we should start in Australia. They’re great fans. And I reckon they deserve to be first cab off the rank.”  
  
My best friend stared hard at me. I knew he was trying to gauge whether my motives were sincere. I just looked at him, innocently. Chuck’s eyes narrowed. He knew I was up to something. I gave him a look, which I hope he understood.  _I’ll explain later…_  
  
Chuck rolled his eyes then glanced at Andy.  
  
“What do you think?”  
  
“When were you thinking, Pierre?”  
  
“Sometime mid-September…before the album’s released.”  
  
Andy nodded slowly. I tugged absently at the new T-shirt I was wearing. It’s a new Role Model design…grey with diamond patterns across the breast and a Role Model emblem on the left shoulder. Pretty fucking cool design. Goes well with my new tattoo. Don’t know how…but it does. Actually it doesn’t really, I just thought it sounded good.  
  
I smiled, waiting. Andy scratched his cheek.  
  
“Sounds great. Any thoughts, Chuck?”  
  
Chuck leaned back against his chair staring fixedly at me.  
  
“I think…it sounds logical. We can go from Australia, back up through Asia, across Europe and then back through the US and Canada in time for its release.”  
  
I breathed out slowly, realising I’d been holding it. I really don’t know what I would’ve done or said if Chuck had rejected my idea. But luckily he hadn’t, so I could relax for now. Andy scribbled something down on his pad then stood.  
  
“Well, I’m just going to go talk to Patrick about the new merchandise.”  
  
We both nodded as he walked into the back room. As soon as he was out of earshot, Chuck rounded on me furiously.  
  
“What the fuck are you planning?”  
  
Standing I moved away from him.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Oh. No. Don’t give me that shit. I’m not Pat or David. I know what’s really going on with you. So just tell me.”  
  
I stared at him.  
  
“I have to do this. There’s something I have to do…”  
  
“You have to do what, Pierre? What?”  
  
I sighed, suddenly exhausted. I slid back down on my chair and stared at the floor.  
  
“She…she has to die.” I swallowed passed a lump that had formed in my throat. Chuck tilted his head at me but didn’t ask who I meant. He didn’t need to ask. He sat next to me.  
  
“Why, Pierre?”  
  
I shook my head.  
  
“She should’ve died three years ago. I…shouldn’t have…stopped it from happening. I should’ve let them do their job…”  
  
“So, you’re going to do it instead?”  
  
Peering up at him, I answered reluctantly.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“You’re going to kill…her.”  
  
“Yes.” I repeated, voice hollow.  
  
I felt nothing. I was numb. Like I’ve already mentioned, it wasn’t anything personal. It was just something that needed to be done. Chuck studied me for a long moment. Then he sighed deeply.  
  
“You can’t do that.”  
  
“Why not?” My voice hitched. He wasn’t making this easy. Because if you think that the notion of getting rid of her was an easy one for me to stomach, then you don’t know anything. Either that or you just think I’m an asshole. He placed a hand on my shoulder, then removed it rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
“You don’t have it in you. Damn it, Pierre. You’re not like that.”  
  
I pushed his hand away, roughly.  
  
“Don’t, Chuck. Saying that won’t help matters.” I wasn’t going to admit that he was right. I definitely wasn’t like that. Not normally. But this wasn’t a normal situation. She was a slave after all. And the laws…well they weren’t on her side; that was a certainty.  
  
“Pierre.”  
  
I laughed, bitterly.  
  
“I won’t let anyone else do it to her. I owe it to her. All these lies, I have to come clean…at least about this.”  
  
Chuck shook his head.  
  
“You shouldn’t have to. Maybe the Guild…”  
  
“No.” I glared at him. “No. It has to be me.” Wearily, I placed my hands on my knees and looked at him in earnest. “I’d look like some kinda coward if I got someone else to do it. And, anyway, only I can explain why it’s got to happen. She needs to hear it from me.”  
  
Chuck leaned back on his chair.  
  
“Does Rochelle know anything about this?”  
  
“She knows Marly is my slave…if that’s what you mean?”  
  
“I know she knows that. But…does she know that you’re going to…?”  
  
Shaking my head, I frowned.  
  
“No. She doesn’t. I have to tell her.” I glanced at Chuck. “I want to marry her some day, y’know.”  
  
“Yeah, hence the ring you want Pat to get.”  
  
“Can you blame me? I’ve been with Chelle for over a year now.”  
  
Chuck snorted gently. “I’m not blaming you for anything, Pierre. I know none of this is easy. I just can’t understand some of it. And…you have to tell the others the truth.”  
  
“What?” I wasn’t sure I’d heard him correctly. “Tell the others? Are you  _insane_? I can’t do that.” I narrowed my eyes at him. My heart rate increased, sweat broke out on my forehead. He remained calm.  
  
“Well, at least you should tell Pat and David.”  
  
I blinked.  
  
“Why them?”  
  
Chuck snorted in disgust, holding up his index finger.  
  
“Well, first, you should tell Pat, because he asked you to. And second,” he lifted his middle finger, “you have to tell David, or he’s not going to be much fun to be around for the next few months.”  
  
I grumbled. “If he finds out the truth he won’t want to talk to me at all…and that definitely won’t be good.”  
  
Chuck sighed. “Look, just think about it. I mean you could always write it down…or send them an email…”  
  
“But?”  
  
“Yeah…but, I think it’d be better if you just told them.”  
  
Smearing a hand over my face, I stared into the distance, trying to think. I knew if I did tell them the truth that it would probably…most likely cause a rift within the band. I didn’t know whether I could cope with that. The band meant everything to me. Without it…well I’d be nothing really.  
  
I hadn’t finished school. And the band was the only serious thing I had going for me. But the way Chuck was talking he probably believed it would be better if I told the truth. And maybe he was right. Leaning forward, I pressed my hands palm down on the table. Pushing up, I stood and looked down at my friend.  
  
“I’ll…think about it.”  
  
Chuck nodded. I guess that was good enough for him. He stood as well, heading into the kitchen.  
  
“Want a coffee?”  
  
I nodded and walked over to my acoustic, lifting it off the stand, perching on a stool and beginning to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title/song credit: One Little Desire Called Love - Eskimo Joe


	14. "The argument over God continues in this house..."

_**Sunday May 27th, 2007  
  
Temperley Residence  
  
8:30 AM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Magpies warbled outside my window as I lay in bed staring up at the motionless fan on the ceiling. My mind was devoid of all coherent thought. I was not letting myself think about anything, because I believed if I did, I would fall to pieces; my mind felt like it would implode. Still some good thoughts managed to squeeze past my self-imposed barrier.  
  
The concert last night had been amazing. Good Charlotte live was always one of my favourite live shows. Their energy on stage could easily rival that of Simple Plan. The fact that both Joel and Benji took lead roles was what drew me.  
  
Speaking of the Madden twins, Benji had kept his promise and had come back with me to Kav’s place. He had needed no coaxing; he didn’t really want to sleep at the hotel with the rest of the band. Something about Joel snoring too much…or too loudly. And I had a feeling he wanted to keep an eye on me. He still hadn’t told me what it was Jake had spoken to him about, either. So maybe he thought he’d get a chance to do that.  
  
I turned my head slightly. He was slumped on the sofa in the corner of the spare room, eyes closed in sleep. His tattooed arms were folded loosely over his chest, which rose and fell steadily as he breathed. Just the sight of him there calmed me. He was a beacon of light in my otherwise dark situation.  
  
I trusted him, and Joel, like no one else (not including Pierre and the guys in SP…and then again my trust in Pierre…was now quite rocky…). But even though I had a lot of confidence in Benji’s opinions, I didn’t want to accept his thoughts on Damien. For the first time in my life, I was truly happy, at least that’s how I felt. And nothing anyone said was going to convince me otherwise.  
  
I breathed deeply then closed my eyes trying not to picture anything in my mind. I moaned, confused thoughts springing unbidden to mind; I pushed them away as rapidly as they formed so that I didn’t have to process them. Rustling from Benji’s chair caught my attention and I peeked at him. He was awake, looking at me.  
  
“What?” I asked. Benji smiled.  
  
“You moaned.”  
  
“Oh…sorry.”  
  
“Nah, I was about to wake up anyway.”  
  
I nodded, then leaned my head back on my pillow.  
  
“Hey, Benj?”  
  
“Mhm?”  
  
“Tell me something. How can guys just think about nothing?”  
  
“How d’ya mean?” Benji squinted at me. I turned my face to his, rolling a little on my side.  
  
“Exactly that. You know when a guy says he’s thinking about nothing…he actually is.”  
  
“Don’t know. We just can.” He smirked. “How is it girls can understand each other even if they don’t finish their sentences?”  
  
I giggled.  
  
“ _Touché_.”  
  
“The mysteries of the world; without them life’d be pretty boring.”  
  
I nuzzled my face into my pillow.  
  
“Speaking of mysteries…what did Jake talk to you about? You said he called you?”  
  
Benji shifted on the chair, leaning forward expression serious.  
  
“Yes. He did.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “He asked Joel and I to keep an eye out for you while we were on tour…make sure you were okay. And…he also told me that he thought Pierre was up to something.”  
  
I blinked, a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach. Swallowing hard, I nodded slightly unable to meet his gaze.  
  
“What exactly?”  
  
Benji sighed.  
  
“No idea.” He stood and moved to sit on the end of my bed. “Jake…” He hesitated. I tilted my head so I could see his eyes.  
  
“Jake?” I prompted softly.  
  
“He said he went to see Pierre…the night he rang me…and there was a woman with him. Jake said they looked pretty cosy together.”  
  
I sat and held up my hand. Benji halted and tilted his head at me.  
  
“Stop. I don’t want to hear it…”  
  
Benji swallowed his next words.  
  
“Sorry.”  
  
“No…don’t be sorry. I just…don’t want to know.”  
  
I looked down, tears welling in my eyes. Brushing at my face, I threw back the covers and got out of bed. I could feel his eyes on me as I disappeared into the  _en suite_. Stopping in front of the mirror I stared at my bleary morning expression. I didn’t look so great. But, hey…I did go to bed late. I blame it on GC…heh. Turning the tap on I splashed ice-cold water on my face.  
  
 _Brrr…that’s cold…_  
  
“Hey, Marlz! You done in there?”  
  
I snorted. Benji was getting impatient. I yelled back, laughing a little.  
  
“I haven’t even started, Madden!”  
  
I heard him grumble, the sofa squeaking, as he obviously must have gotten out of it. I smiled to myself and leaned forward, squinting at my reflection. I was staring so closely at a pimple on the side of my nose that I didn’t hear Benji walk into the bathroom behind me, until I saw his grinning face in the mirror. I jumped slightly.  
  
“Gee…warn me why don’t you?”  
  
He chuckled and putting the toilet seat down, sat on it.  
  
“Marly.”  
  
I looked over to him; the smile had vanished. I shrugged at him.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“I know I already said this. But…I don’t trust Damien.”  
  
I sighed and turned to face him directly.  
  
“I do.”  
  
“You hardly know him.”  
  
I laughed. “He’s in all my classes, we’ve spent a lot of time together. Anyway, he’s a Christian…what’s not to trust?”  
  
Benji’s jaw tightened, and his eyes went uncharacteristically dark.  
  
“That’s what he says.”  
  
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”  
  
Benji stood and glared at me.  
  
“Exactly what I just said.”  
  
I groaned in frustration.  
  
“Benji. I just want to be happy.”  
  
His shoulders slumped, expression softening.  
  
“I know…I know.” He crossed the floor and hugged me gently around the shoulders. “I know,” he repeated, quietly. He stroked the back of my head as I leaned my cheek against his shoulder, blinking rapidly.  
  
I trembled in his arms. He squeezed me reassuringly then released my shoulders and placed a hand to my chin lifting my face to his.  
  
“Hey…hey, it’s going to be okay…”  
  
Sniffing, I tried a smile.  
  
“Sure. It’s…going to be.” I looked down and shuffled my feet. “Thanks…for being here.”  
  
Benji smiled.  
  
“It’s my pleasure, hun.”  
  
My cheeks flushed a little; I waved my hands at him.  
  
“I gotta finish getting ready…meet you in the kitchen?”  
  
He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Sick of me already?”  
  
“No. I just…need to have a shower.”  
  
Benji pretended to pout.  
  
“What? I don’t get to see you naked?”  
  
I laughed at that.  
  
“No. Get out.”  
  
He chuckled and leaned forward to give me a gentle kiss on the forehead; then before I could react he turned on his heel and walked out, letting the door close behind him.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **9:45 AM**_  
  
“So, going to Church this morning?”  
  
I sat at the kitchen bench slowly making my way through a bowl of cereal. Benji stood on the other side his elbows resting on the counter. Kav had joined us and was the one who had asked the question. He was making his way through his second coffee. I glanced at him then at Benji.  
  
“Yeah, guess so. Wanna come with?”  
  
Benji shrugged.  
  
“Sure.” He frowned slightly. “Will Damien -?”  
  
I cut him off.  
  
“Yes. He always is.” I glowered at him, daring him to comment. He took the dare.  
  
“Not good.”  
  
Slapping my hands down on the bench, I pushed back from the bench and shook my head.  
  
“For Pete’s sake, Benji. How many times do I have to say it?”  
  
“Say what?” Kav lifted an eyebrow, confusion in his eyes. I waved my hand at him.  
  
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Benji just doesn’t like him.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
I turned my eyes to Kav.  
  
“Oh?”  
  
He didn’t sound surprised. Kav snorted.  
  
“I don’t particularly like him either.”  
  
I scrubbed a hand over my face.  
  
“Pardon? You never said…”  
  
“I make a habit of letting people figure out what people are like for themselves.” Kav grinned. Emotions warred within me. I leaned my forehead in my hands.  
  
“What is that supposed to mean?” I murmured. There was a tense silence, filled only by the sound of our breathing. I looked up at the two men. “Don’t answer that.”  
  
Kav lifted a shoulder then dropped it. Benji’s brow creased in thought.  
  
“Hey, Marlz. I don’t get it.”  
  
“Get what?” I shot a curious look at him.  
  
He looked me directly in the eyes.  
  
“You’re usually such a good judge of character.”  
  
“And your point is?” I had no idea where he was headed with this line of thought. Benji scratched his cheek.  
  
“Well…I won’t say anything about Damien.”  
  
“So, you don’t have a point?” I said mustering as much disdain in my voice as possible.  
  
Benji grunted, put out.  
  
“Damien  _is_  my point.”  
  
Kav chuckled sourly, adding, “What about Pierre? Is he part of your point as well, Madden?”  
  
“Yeah, could be. I mean seriously…the guy’s insane.”  
  
“How?”  
  
Benji waved his hand toward me.  
  
“The way he’s just…basically…rejected her.”  
  
“Rejected? How’s he rejected her?”  
  
I thought exactly the same thing; I wouldn’t exactly call it rejection. Don’t know what I would call it, but I didn’t feel rejected. Unloved, yes. Not rejected. Rejection implied reasoning. What Pierre did defies reason. He’d ripped my heart out and stomped all over it.  
  
There was anger in Benji’s voice when he responded.  
  
“My cousin saw him with another woman.”  
  
Kav gasped, roughly.  
  
“Shit. For real?”  
  
Benji nodded and was about to go on. I interrupted, not wanting to hear any more. I already had an idea who the woman was. Most likely, the same woman who had answered the phone the one time I had called Pierre. Just remembering that made my stomach turn.  
  
“Guys, please…” I pushed my bowl away, my appetite suddenly gone. I repeated in a harsh whisper, “Guys, could you please stop it.” I stood. “I don’t want to think about Pierre. And you’re not helping.”  
  
Benji’s lips tightened in a thin line.  
  
“So, that’s the real reason you want to think good of Damien.”  
  
I retorted, “You can’t tell me that’s a bad thing.” I backed up and held up my hands. “Just stop. I’m not having this conversation with you, Benji.”  
  
He relented.  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
I gazed steadily at him, gauging the honesty of his words. After several moments, I decided he was telling the truth and relaxed.  
  
“Okay…okay.” I cast a shy smile his way. He grinned and waggled his fingers at me. Kav laughed.  
  
“The way you two are acting, I’d think you were together.”  
  
Benji and I both looked at him. I giggled. Benji snorted.  
  
“Yeah, right. We’re just friends.”  
  
We then glanced at each other; he winked at me, I looked down at the counter. Benji leaned over and rested a hand on my shoulder, squeezing. Then he stood back and looked over at Kav.  
  
“Where’s your wife?”  
  
Sheri waltzed into the kitchen at his words, purse in hand.  
  
“I’m here. You ready to go guys?”  
  
I lifted my eyes and smiled faintly. Brushing a hand through my hair, I stood. Smoothing my hands over my jeans covered thighs I then made my way to the front door.  
  
I heard Benji say to Sheri from behind me, “Yep. Totally.”  
  
I laughed to myself. Benji was always ready for anything the world threw at him. I couldn’t say the same for me. I put that down to the fact that I had never been ‘properly’ socialised into the world. I mean why the hell would I, a slave, need to know how to function in the real world? Hah. I don’t think anyone in my early life would fathom the complications that had arisen in my life. I was just stumbling along, trying my best to take everything in.  
  
Being independent was not as easy as it looked. I guess that’s why when Damien presented himself to me as an individual who had both feet on the ground I latched onto him as my role model in the world of free people.  
  
A part of me still needed to depend on others to make difficult situations appear not so hard. But a part of me wanted to find my personal stance in the world around me. I wanted to be able to stand on my own and not have to seek others for guidance. Perhaps not entirely on my own. I didn’t want to be alone in my life. I wanted to be fulfilled. There was something missing in my life…not a tangible thing. Something, which I knew was beginning to get filled. And I believe that didn’t start happening until after I’d started going to Riverview Church.  
  
Just sitting in the services, listening to the worship and the messages, had started to stir feelings inside me that I never even knew I had. And that escaped definition. Several times, I had just burst into tears in the middle of worship.  
  
Paul told me after one service, when I’d dredged the courage to speak to him about it, that it had to have been the presence of God, touching my heart. That’s how he described it. And thinking about it now, I realise he had to be right. It wasn’t just an internal emotion. It was something…other. Supernatural…spiritual…but comforting, like the embrace of a parent. It had that quality.  
  
Even though I had never known the love of a real parent, I managed to recognise that feeling when it came over me. What else could it be but the hand of the one true Father in Heaven? Hah, now I sound like a religious person. Well, not really. It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it? I think it does.  
  
My thoughts were interrupted as Benji yelled at me.  
  
“Marlz, wake up! You’ll get left behind.”  
  
I laughed and raced past him to the car.  
  
“Shotgun!” I cried, shutting the passenger door before Benji could catch up. Kav smirked and slid into the driver’s sat. Sheri and Benji clambered into the back seat, only just managing to the close their doors as Kav pulled out of the driveway.  
  
 _ **Riverview Church  
  
10:45 AM**_  
  
Damien was waiting for me in the foyer of the church. I ran into his arms and let him hold me for a long time. Not for the first time, I mentally compared his physique to Pierre’s. He was slender, lighter boned. He wasn’t as solid, a little lanky. But I liked that about him, he didn’t overpower me. Pierre always seemed to overshadow me. But then again, he had the right, I guess. He owned me…in more ways than one. I shook my head slightly, tightening my grip around Damien’s waist.  
  
“Missed you,” he whispered in my ear. I smiled up at him, squinting.  
  
“It’s only been a night.”  
  
He chuckled.  
  
“I still missed you.” He kissed the tip of my nose. I nuzzled my nose against his. As I did, I noticed Benji from the corner of my eye. He was pointedly looking in the other direction. That hurt. Obviously, he wasn’t going to accept that Damien made me happy. I sighed. Damien arched an eyebrow.  
  
“You okay?”  
  
I forced a smile.  
  
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”  
  
He shrugged, nonchalantly.  
  
“No reason.” He grabbed my hand, swinging it. “Come on, let’s get a seat.”  
  
As he led me into the auditorium, I looked back over my shoulder. Kav and Sheri had gone off to the other side of the foyer to greet some people they knew. Benji had gone with them. My heart fell and the feelings of hurt increased. I loved Benji like a brother and the fact that he had walked away like that; it made a little part of me die inside. A big part had already crumbled after I’d found out that Pierre had never loved me. This was just one more blow that I didn’t think I’d be able to cope with in the long term.  
  
I know, I know you might think I’m making mountains of mole hills…but you have to understand my perceptions of myself are based almost entirely on what others think of me. My own thoughts never used to count, and I’m still learning. I’m still learning that I’m a person of worth…it’s like what we’re being taught at school. Every child has the right to learn, the right to opportunities and access, and outcomes in education. Every person has worth no matter their background…no matter their past…  
  
I know Benji is probably not doing it deliberately. I know he cares about me. I know that. My emotions are just fragile. And I…I want to have something to believe in. That’s why I’m so adamant that Damien is the guy for me. That he is a good person. That for the long term, he can make me happy. I want that. I need that so much. And yes, I know it sounds like I’m repeating myself but I have to get the point across. He makes me happy. Period. That and the thought that there is someone out there watching over us.  
  
Damien and I found seats in the second row directly in front of the stage. I looked up; Paul was standing centre-stage, acoustic slung over his shoulder. He saw us and winked at me. I waved remaining on my feet as the band struck the first chords of  _From the Inside Out.  
  
…In my heart, in my soul  
  
I give you control  
  
Consume me from the inside out, Lord  
  
Let justice and praise  
  
Become my embrace  
  
To love you from the inside out…_  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **12:20 PM**_  
  
The service had ended and I was standing in the foyer near the Lounge area. This was where anyone who had questions about the next step in their Christian journey (as Pastor Phil called it) could go and…ask questions. And have them answered.  
  
“I already have a Bible,” I smiled at Paul as he handed me a small package that contained everything I needed to know about becoming a Christian. He grinned at me.  
  
“I know, Damien got it off me.”  
  
“Oh.” I laughed softly and looked over to where Damien was standing in the cafeteria line. “He didn’t mention that.”  
  
Paul chuckled.  
  
“Of course not. It was a gift. Why would he have told you where he got it from.”  
  
“Well, at least I know he couldn’t have stolen it.”  
  
He looked at me in bemusement. I giggled.  
  
“Not a very Christian thing to do, eh.”  
  
Paul shrugged modestly.  
  
“No. Not really.”  
  
“Not at all.” I countered with a smile then looked back just in time for Benji to appear and grab me around the waist. I yelped.  
  
“Benji!”  
  
He squeezed me hard then let go glancing at Paul.  
  
“Hey, I’m Benji Madden.”  
  
“Paul.” Paul reached out to grasp the younger man’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”  
  
Benji gripped his hand firmly.  
  
“Always nice to meet a fellow musician.”  
  
I rolled my eyes and was about to walk away, when Benji stopped me.  
  
“Marlz…” The look in his eyes unnerved me. He was frowning. He wasn’t happy. Paul interrupted our staring match for a brief moment.  
  
“Hey, Marly, I’ll catch up later?”  
  
I glanced at him, giving a small nod. He smiled, turning to Benji.  
  
“Nice meeting you.” Then he wandered away to greet some other people. I breathed deep before returning my attention to the man in front of me.  
  
“Yes, Benji?” Frankly, I was beginning to get a little peeved about his attitude. This had better be good. I folded my arms and raised my eyebrows at him. Benji groaned, smearing a hand over his face.  
  
“Don’t look at me like that…”  
  
“Why not? I know you’re about to say something I really don’t want to hear.”  
  
Benji smirked. “How do you know that?”  
  
I just shook my head.  
  
“I’m not stupid, Benji.”  
  
His gaze softened, dark eyes warm.  
  
“Ah, heck…it’s not even important.”  
  
I tilted my head at him. He grunted.  
  
“Don’t worry about it. It’s your choice.” There was not even a trace of malice in his tone and I knew that he wouldn’t push the issue anymore. He swung an arm round my shoulders and patted me lightly. “Want to do something?”  
  
Damien walked over then.  
  
“Oi.”  
  
Benji removed his arm, smiling apologetically.  
  
“Hey. Was just asking Marlz if she wanted to do anything.”  
  
Brushing a strand of dirty blonde hair from his face, Damien glanced at me, eyes narrowed. I moved to stand next to him resting a hand on his arm and leaning my head against his shoulder. He relaxed at the contact and I rubbed his arm.  
  
“We could show the guys around town?”  
  
I could see the thoughts turning in Damien’s sharp green eyes. He looked across at Benji.  
  
“You want to call up the others? Tell them to meet us in the park?”  
  
Benji nodded slowly casting an unreadable look my way.  
  
“Sure. Say…meet you in half an hour?”  
  
I smiled.  
  
“Sounds great.” I squinted at him for a moment. He just looked back at me then turned and wandered off, pulling his cell phone out to make his call. Once he was out of earshot, Damien turned to me scowling faintly.  
  
“What?”  
  
“What was he doing?”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“He had his arm round your shoulders.” Damien’s voice was tight. I sighed.  
  
“Damo, he’s like a brother to me. He was just being friendly.”  
  
He snorted in disbelief. I glared at him.  
  
“I definitely don’t like him like that.”  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“Of course. Trust me.”  
  
Damien leaned his forehead against mine, cradling my cheek.  
  
“You know I love you.”  
  
I shivered at his words. That’s what worried me. His love. I wasn’t ready to accept the love of another man. My heart was too far away. Back in Montreal with a man who didn’t even love me. I blinked and shook my head, pulling away.  
  
“I…I’m going to go talk to Paul…meet you outside?”  
  
Damien sucked in his breath, then gently brushed his fingers across my cheek.  
  
“Of course. I’ll wait.”  
  
Quickly, I turned and hurried off to where I thought I’d seen the worship pastor last. I only looked back once. Damien was still standing where I had left him, watching as I walked away. Then I moved my gaze frontward and continued my search for Paul.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **The Park near Riverview Church  
  
12:50 PM  
  
* Third Person p.o.v. ***_  
  
Benji paced across a bare patch of dirt, cell phone pressed tightly to his ear. The park he was standing in didn’t really deserve the label. It was more just a large expanse of grass, an empty lot. He muttered under his breath as he waited for the person he was calling to pick up. He had already called the guys; they were on their way to meet him. He continued to walk back and forth until he heard the click on the other end of the line.  
  
 _“Jake here…”_  
  
“Ango. It’s Benj.”  
  
 _“He-hey. How’s it doing?”_  
  
Benji scratched his head.  
  
“I’ve seen Marly.” There was no time to chat. He had to get straight to the point. He heard Jake draw his breath in sharply.  
  
 _“How is she?”_  
  
“Doing okay. She’s been going to church and she’s met a new guy. And I’ve heard nothing from Pierre. Perhaps there’s nothing in whatever you thought.”  
  
Silence then:  
  
 _“No. Something is bound to happen. Who’s the guy she’s met?”_  
  
Benji yawned. “His name’s Damien. That’s all I know. But he makes her happy.”  
  
 _“Damien…”_  Jake’s voice was flat. Benji stood still and looked across the grass to see if the guys were coming.  
  
“Yeah, he seems okay.” He wasn’t going to admit to his cousin that he didn’t trust the guy. After all, he probably just didn’t like him. That happened every now and again; where he met someone and took an instant dislike to them. Never really meant anything. Jake sighed on the other end.  
  
 _“Well, thanks, Benj. As long as she’s okay.”_  
  
“Yeah, she appears to be.”  
  
 _“Good. I guess you guys are leaving Perth soon?”_  
  
Benji nodded as he squinted, toward the sidewalk in the distance. His brother Joel had just come into view.  
  
“Yeah, day after next. One more gig tonight and tomorrow night. Marly’s going to show us round town today.”  
  
 _“Sounds like fun. Tell Marly I said ‘hello’. I’ll let you go now…and thanks.”_  
  
Benji nodded even though he knew Jake couldn’t see him.  
  
“Will do, Cuz. And you’re welcome. Catcha.” He flipped his phone shut and waited for Joel to reach him. The younger Madden twin jogged the last few feet coming to a stop in front of Benji.  
  
“Hey, looks like I’m the first one here. Everyone else is so damned slow today.”  
  
Benji laughed. “Never mind. Should be a good afternoon.”  
  
“Yeah, how’s Marlz?”  
  
“She’s okay. Damien’s with her.”  
  
“Yeah…you said…how you dealing with that?”  
  
Benji shook his head tucking his phone back in his pocket.  
  
“I’m not. As long as she’s happy.”  
  
Joel nodded and sat cross-legged on the ground. His brother sat next to him and they waited in silence, both looking forward to a day of sightseeing and not having to worry about anything other than having a good time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title/song credit: Eskimo Joe [can't remember the song]  
> Hillsong: From the Inside Out


	15. "Do you still remember me alive...?"

_**Thursday May 31st, 2007  
  
Perth Domestic Airport  
  
9 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
City Flyer Flight QF523 to Melbourne via Adelaide was delayed. The Good Charlotte guys were milling around the lounge, bored out of their minds. Joel was sitting on the floor with his iPod ear buds plugged into his ears as he flipped through a magazine. Billy and Paul were playing a bastardised version of Blackjack. I stood nearer to the gate with Benji. Damien, Kav, Sheri and I had come to see them off.  
  
Damien had disappeared somewhere; Kav and Sheri were watching Billy and Paul. Leaving me alone with Benji. I stood next to him gazing out the window, quietly thinking. Benji moved closer and wrapped his arms firmly around me as I leaned into his solid body.  
  
I was shaking a little. I was going to miss the guys; I had a sense of foreboding that I wouldn’t see them again. I didn’t know why I felt that way…something in my gut was just telling me that was the case. Benji rubbed my back gently, murmuring reassuring words to me.  
  
“It’s okay, Marlz…I’ll see you again soon…I plan on coming here for winter vacation.” He tilted my face up and smiled, eyes sparkling. “Okay? That sound good to you?”  
  
I sniffed, rubbing my finger under my nose. I didn’t want to tell him that I had a feeling I wouldn’t get to see him again. I don’t think he’d understand…and well, truthfully I had no idea why I thought that.  
  
“That’s still a long time from now, Benji…” I whispered, sadly.  
  
He sighed, releasing my waist and stepping away from me.  
  
“I know. But, hey. You have Damien, right?”  
  
I looked into his eyes gauging his expression. I knew he still didn’t like him, but my happiness was something Benji thought was more important. The expression in his dark eyes was sincere and I relaxed a little, nodding.  
  
“Yeah…I do…”  
  
Damien rejoined us then, holding a bottle of water in one hand. Benji and I turned to look at him.  
  
“Hey, Damien.” Benji’s voice was serious, his eyes stern.  
  
“Yeah?” Damien lifted both his eyebrows at the older man.  
  
“Take care of her won’t you?” He tilted his head toward me. I smiled looking down. Damien moved to slip an arm round my waist.  
  
“Always, Madden. You needn’t worry about that.”  
  
Benji growled softly.  
  
“I’m holding you to that.”  
  
“Trust me. I’ll take good care of her…won’t I?” He nuzzled against my cheek. I giggled softly; he hadn’t shaved and the stubble on his face tickled my skin. I leaned more into him and murmured in response.  
  
“Yes…you will.”  
  
I could see Benji looking at me intently. I sent a reassuring smile his way, even though a knot had begun to form in my stomach. I banished the unpleasant thoughts that had begun to form before they became coherent. I couldn’t allow myself to think bad thoughts. Anyway, they were probably triggered by the fact that I didn’t want Benji and Joel to leave. But, hey, they couldn’t stay in Perth, the band  _were_  touring the whole of Australia.  
  
As we stood there, an announcement rang out through the terminal:  _Flight QF523 to Melbourne is now ready for boarding…_  
  
Benji nodded to us then went about rousing Joel, and yelling at the others to pack up their cards. Kav and Sheri joined Damien and I at the boarding gate. Then the Good Charlotte boys headed past us, Joel and Benji both blowing me kisses as they produced their boarding passes. After several long moments, they disappeared from view and I felt my chest tighten.  
  
I turned to press my face against Damien’s chest, closing my eyes tight. Memories sprang unbidden to my mind as I clung to him. Good memories…fun memories…  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
 _ **Flashback  
  
Sunday May 27th, 2007  
  
Perth Zoo  
  
1:30 PM**_  
  
 _“Look, the Orangutan is as old as my Dad,” Damien laughed as he pointed at the large sign by the Orangutan enclosure.  
  
The female great ape had been born in 1953 and had just celebrated her 54th birthday. There were still ribbons attached to the railing around the enclosure. I leaned against the railing my eyes fixed on the Orangutan youngster that was swinging on a large sturdy tyre. He appeared to be smiling, his lips parted in a toothy grin. Of course, I knew – because I read a lot and liked to watch animal doco’s on Kav’s TV – I knew that interpreting an ape’s expressions was not the same as interpreting a human’s. But it is human nature to anthropomorphise. That is, to place human characteristics on animals and even objects.  
  
Benji stood next to me a smirk on his lips.  
  
“Hey, Marlz. What kinda noise do they make?”  
  
I shrugged. Damien snorted.  
  
“They probably go…‘oooh, oooh, aaah, aaah’.”  
  
Billy laughed. “Nah, that’s what Joel would be saying when he sees a hot chick.”  
  
“Oi. That is so not true.” Joel countered with a laugh.  
  
I lifted an eyebrow and teased him.  
  
“That’s how you reacted when you first met me.”  
  
Benji cracked up laughing. Damien rolled his eyes. I noticed and pretended to glare at him.  
  
“And that’s what you were probably thinking when you first saw me, Damo. So don’t be rolling your eyes at me.”  
  
Damien sighed and hugged me tight around the waist, resting his chin against my shoulder and murmuring in my ear.  
  
“I’m sorry, sweetie…”  
  
I lifted a hand and rested it in his hair, smiling a little.  
  
“It’s okay, Damo…”  
  
“Good.”  
  
“Yeah, I bet it’s all good,” Benji drawled, obviously listening in.  
  
I glanced sharply at him. He just smiled and looked back at the Orangutan. He was now scrambling up to his mother; the large female sat quietly on her platform nibbling on some fruit. She appeared oblivious to her son’s attempts to gain her attention, even when he climbed onto her back and tried to grab the food from her hands.  
  
I laughed quietly as I leaned back into Damien’s wiry frame.  
  
“He’s just like a little kid.”  
  
Damien chuckled.  
  
“Yeah. I was like that…minus the climbing all over my Mum…”  
  
“Haha, I could just imagine that…”  
  
I sighed in content, tilting my head to look up into his smiling eyes. He held me closer and nuzzled his nose against my cheek whispering sweet nothings into my ear…. This was happiness…_  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Damien touched his fingers to my elbow. I stirred and lifted my face from his chest.  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
“Come on, let’s go.” His lips curved in a gentle smile. I glanced up into his deep green eyes. Then drew back a little. Kav and Sheri turned to us and the former grinned, pulling me aside and leaning in close to mutter in my ear.  
  
“Y’know, Marlz. You really should think about moving in with him.” Kav flicked his eyes toward Damien who was talking quietly with Sheri. I blinked and looked quizzically at the older man and spoke in hushed tones.  
  
“I thought you didn’t-”  
  
Kav held up his hands and shook his head, interrupting me, voice serious.  
  
“You’re happy with him. I can see that.”  
  
I felt my cheeks redden, burning softly. Dipping my head, I murmured.  
  
“Yeah…I’ve never been happier.”  
  
Kav nodded.  
  
“Well, you deserve some of that.” He yawned. “But you’re always welcome at our place. And you have to promise to come to our new album release party.”  
  
I giggled. “Wouldn’t miss that for the world. But that’s not for awhile yet, right?”  
  
“14th of September.”  
  
I reached up to embrace him. Kav smiled at me, hugging me back.  
  
“I’ll have to tell Damien…”  
  
“Heh, go back with him tonight. You can come by and grab your stuff in the morning.”  
  
I drew back, keeping one hand on his arm.  
  
“Thanks, Kav.”  
  
“Welcome.”  
  
I turned from him, walked back to Damien, and stood up a little on tiptoes to whisper in his ears. I watched as his eyes began to shine; he seized me around the waist, lifted me up off the ground and swung me around. I giggled. He set me back down and kissed me softly on the mouth, smiling broadly. Then he lifted his face away and gripped my hand, squeezing it gently.  
  
“Let’s go home.”  
  
 _Home…that sounds just right…I haven’t felt at home for so long…the last time I felt that way was with Pierre…_ I abruptly forced that thought away, glancing up at Damien with a shy smile. Then I looked at Kav and Sheri who were standing with arms around each other’s waist. I knew I was ready for happiness like theirs. Yes…I looked back at the man beside me and smiled.  
  
“Yeah, let’s go home.”  
  
 _ **Friday June 1st, 2007  
  
Bouvier Apartment  
  
7PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
“Look, Chuck. You can hardly complain. You were the one who wanted to go to Australia first. And, you said we were aiming for September for the album to be done anyway. Even before Andy came.”  
  
Chuck was sitting on my kitchen bench glaring at me. I was standing by the fridge holding a bottle of orange juice in one hand and a packet of jellybeans in the other. We were discussing the meeting we’d had with Andy last weekend.  
  
You’re probably wondering why since it seemed we had everything sorted at the time. But, the fact of the matter is that everything Chuck and I had said to him had been planned down to the last word. And Chuck was not happy with any of it. I’d practically forced him into a corner, and now he was voicing his disgust of the matter.  
  
“Yeah. But that was before I realised what you were planning to do when you got to Australia.”  
  
He groaned and pulled off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. Lately he’d been wearing them more; told me he got headaches without them. It was more likely I was giving him the headaches.  
  
“I’m not going to do-”  
  
“Pierre, don’t. You’ve already told me what you’re planning.” He cut me off before I could finish my sentence. I grunted, tilting my head back and tipping the last two jellybeans into my mouth.  
  
Chuck watched me, his expression tightly controlled. I knew he was pissed, but he was trying not to lose his temper. I guess I should be grateful that he was still talking to me. I knew I probably wouldn’t be so lucky with David and Pat. I was planning on telling them the truth…today. If they ever showed up.  
  
I’d invited them over for drinks. Jeff and Seb opted out: Jeff because he wanted to go home and be by himself. Guess we all annoyed him too much – well actually only David but whatever - and Seb because he’d promised his brother he’d go visit their grandma. Anyway.  
  
We’d spent hours in the studio finishing another song. And for some reason we had decided to start real early in the morning, so we were done by early in the afternoon. Afterwards, Chuck and I had headed into town to get drinks for tonight. And to go visit Rochelle at work.  
  
She works in a beauty salon. She said she might pop round later after spending time with her girlfriends from work. Yeah, I know I met her at a strip club, but she only did that on weekends. Now she doesn’t do it at all, the only person she strips for now…is me. Heh, I’m such a lucky bastard, eh? Anywho, back to our current conversation.  
  
“Why the hell does it even matter to you what I do, Chuck?”  
  
“Why?  _Why_? You have the fucking nerve to ask me that?” Chuck growled and slapped his hand against the bench. “If you haven’t forgotten, I care about her. Do you even know what that means?”  
  
Shrugging, I put the bottle away and tossed the packet in the trashcan. Dusting my hands on my shirt, I glowered at him.  
  
“You didn’t even let me finish what I was saying.”  
  
Chuck lifted an eyebrow. I turned away from him, staring intently at a tiny stain on the bench top. Coffee I think.  
  
“Well? What were you saying?”  
  
Rubbing my jaw I muttered, wearily, “I’m not going to do anything that’ll affect any of you guys.”  
  
“Bullshit. I’ve never heard such fucking crap in my life!” Chuck’s voice was actually shaking. I looked at him. He went on before I could defend myself.  
  
“How the  _fuck_  do you think  _I_  feel knowing that you’re going to kill someone? Someone  _I_ know. Someone  _I_  care about? How the fuck do you think Dave and Pat are going to feel? Fuck. I know we’re guys and we’re not supposed to show our emotions or even admit to having them…but… _fuck_ …this just goes beyond…”  
  
His eyes were wild; that surprised me. I groaned and opened my mouth. Chuck got in ahead of me though his voice rising in anger.  
  
“I can not believe you have the fucking nerve to say that it won’t affect us! Un-fucking-believable. Marly is like a sister to me…and the rest of the guys…a sister. People will miss her…but obviously you don’t give a shit.” He shook his head at me, his voice suddenly going quiet. “I don’t understand you, Pierre. And that’s the truth. I don’t understand how you can do this.”  
  
There was pain in his voice; in the way he avoided looking at me. He slid off the bench and walked past me into the hallway.  
  
Before heading to the living room though, he turned his head to look me in the eye and whispered, “I’ll tell you this: if Pat and David decide never to talk to you again I’ll be behind them a hundred percent.”  
  
I didn’t even blink.  
  
“Don’t you think you’re forgetting something?” I said mustering as much coldness as I could in my tone. Chuck narrowed his eyes at me. I waited.  
  
“What am I forgetting?”  
  
I clenched my jaw.  
  
“She belongs to me. She’s still my slave. What I do to her is none of your concern.”  
  
I watched as rage flared in his eyes, darkening them for a long tense moment. Yet, I waited patiently knowing that his anger would fade. It did after several seconds, Chuck’s face softening as he gave a sad sigh.  
  
“Yeah well. Slave or not, I’m still not happy about it.”  
  
I snorted derisively, “Says the guy who wanted her dead three years ago.”  
  
Chuck swung round to face me directly bringing his body close to mine, eyes snapping furiously, anger surfacing once more.  
  
“I made a mistake!”  
  
I shook my head.  
  
“No. I was the one who made the mistake. And anyway last time we talked about this you didn’t seem to have a problem with it.”  
  
Chuck looked at me an incredulous expression on his face. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Don’t you remember what you said? How you reckoned I didn’t have it in me and that I should let the Guild deal with it.”  
  
Chuck shook his head angrily.  
  
“You shocked me. I said the first thing that came to my mind.” He took a step closer to me, crowding me a little, as he stared hard into my eyes. “I guess I was more worried about the fact that you’d been lying to her - to the guys - than what you were planning to do to her.”  
  
Pressing my lips together, I said nothing.  
  
My best friend thrust his hands through his hair and said, frustrated, “I just can’t understand why the fuck you think it’s necessary to…kill her. Why, Pierre? Why the fuck would you think that?” He glared at me. “Why?”  
  
I held my left hand up in front of me, backing him up.  
  
“Just stop, okay? I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”  
  
Chuck nodded, in irritation.  
  
“Yeah, save it for when Pat and David get here.”  
  
He swivelled on his heel and stomped down to the living room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. They weren’t good company, I can tell you that now. They bounced off the inside of my skull, hah now I’m the one getting a headache.  
  
I grunted and padded back into the kitchen and went to the fridge. Pulling it open, I found a cold beer. I knew I needed one to fortify myself and make this chore of talking to Pat and David easier. Jerking the lid off with my teeth, I took a long pull. The cold, sharp liquid trickled down my throat.  
  
I sighed deeply, feeling my mind relax a little. As I took another long drink, I heard the front door open and David’s unmistakeable giggle seemed to echo through the whole house.  
  
I breathed deep, smearing the back of my hand over my mouth. Then grabbing another bottle I turned, steeling my mind as I walked out of the kitchen to face my friends. Guess I was as ready as I’d ever be.  _Let’s get this over with…_  
  
* * * * *  
  
I entered the living room, and felt it instantly. An air of expectancy. Chuck was propped against the back of the sofa, eyes cast down avoiding having to look at me. Patrick was standing by the window, arms folded, eyes boring into me, as if he were trying to read my thoughts.  
  
And David. David was on the floor, lying down, gaze fixed on an invisible point on the ceiling, not even bothering to acknowledge my presence. Yet, I knew that he was expecting something as much as the others.  
  
Breathing deeply I paced across the floor to stand at the window. After a second, I changed my mind and moved to sit on a footstool in front of the television, placing my bottle on the floor. Patrick raised his eyebrows at me. I avoided meeting his eyes. Rubbing a hand over my face, I gathered my thoughts close before lifting my eyes from the floor.  
  
“Guys…I have to tell you something.” I paused.  _Fuck…this should be so fucking easy. Why am I acting like it isn’t?_  
  
Smearing both hands over my face, I sat up straighter, sticking both my legs out in front of me, making sure I appeared as casual and relaxed as possible.  
  
“I have to tell you something.” Repeating what I’d already said to help me focus.  
  
“Get on with it then,” David snapped, still without turning his head. I groaned inwardly, but kept my face expressionless, my voice light.  
  
“About Marly.” As soon as her name left my mouth Pat spoke up, harshly.  
  
“What the fuck do you need to say about her? We  _know_  you don’t give a fuck about her. We  _know_  you don’t love her. What more could you say about her?”  
  
I didn’t hesitate in my response, couldn’t afford to.  
  
“You know she was my slave?”  
  
Patrick blinked.  
  
“Your what?”  
  
“His slave,” David spat angrily. I watched as Pat looked at him, shock in his eyes. Then he glared at me.  
  
“Is that true?”  
  
I nodded. He grimaced.  
  
“What’s that got to do with any of this?”  
  
“Everything. She still belongs to me.”  
  
There was stillness in the air after I said that. I waited leaning back on the stool, still casual, still calm. David rolled onto his side and looked at me, questions passing rapidly across his eyes. Patrick moved closer, his shadow falling over me as he stared down at me.  
  
“So, she belongs to you? And that means you have the right to be an asshole to her, does it?”  
  
Shrugging a little, I looked back up at him.  
  
“Guess it does.”  
  
Patrick began to pace in front of me. I watched silently as he thought out loud, tone strained.  
  
“So, she’s your slave. Right? And you can do anything you like to her…with her…whatever…right?”  
  
He looked at me; I nodded in the affirmative. A light appeared to come on behind his eyes and he stared directly into mine, digging the fingers of his left hand into his hair.  
  
“Jesus. She didn’t go to Australia to finish her schooling, did she? You sent her off…got rid of her, didn’t you?”  
  
I bristled at that assumption, even though some of it was true.  
  
“No. That’s not it at all.” I paused. “Well, okay…I sent her away. But she is actually studying. I had to give her some reason to be there.” I clenched my jaw then relaxed it. “Not that it’ll ever amount to anything.”  
  
“How do you mean?”  
  
And here it was. Time for me to come clean with my plans. I noticed that Chuck was now looking directly at me. I knew what he was thinking, but it didn’t bother me all that much; I kept my gaze fixed on Patrick. I sucked air through my nostrils then let out a harsh breath.  
  
“She’s not going to be alive for much longer,” I said, flatly.  
  
“ _What_?”  
  
“You heard me.”  
  
Pat shook his head.  
  
“No. You can’t be fucking serious. What do you mean she won’t be alive for much longer?”  
  
I snorted.  
  
“Exactly that.”  
  
Chuck cut in waspishly, “He’s going to kill her.”  
  
I shot a cold look his way; he just stared back at me, face hard. Rolling my eyes, I returned my attention to Pat. He was in denial, shaking his head vigorously.  
  
“No. Why the fuck would you do that?”  
  
Chuck sneered, “He won’t tell you that. He hasn’t told me.”  
  
“Why the fuck don’t you just shut up, Charles,” I snapped, irritated by his interruption. “You have no idea how hard this is for me to deal with.”  
  
“Yeah right. It’s probably so fucking easy. You don’t give a fuck about Marlz. So, it’ll be easy for you to dispose of her.”  
  
I growled. “You have you’re fucking wires crossed. This isn’t easy.”  
  
“Fuck off, Pierre. Of course it is; you can’t deny it.”  
  
I stood then; I was trembling. Balling my hands into fists, I stepped closer to the sofa.  
  
“I’m not denying anything.”  
  
“Oh, really? Hah. You must think we’re stupid.” Chuck glowered angrily at me, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Patrick moved to stand near him.  
  
“Tell us why, Pierre.”  
  
I crossed my arms.  
  
“I have to do this.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I just do.”  
  
David sat up.  
  
“He probably has no reason. Other than the fact that he wants to be free so he can take Rochelle as his wife, right?”  
  
Patrick nodded furiously.  
  
“You’re probably right. You know he asked me to buy an engagement ring for her, don’t you?”  
  
“No, I didn’t. Serious? Fuck…” David glanced at me, curious. “Is that right, Pierre? You asked Pat to do that?”  
  
Stiffening, I bent grabbing my beer then headed for the door; I wasn’t going to even bother answering him. They were beginning to piss me off, I didn’t need to hear any more of their shit. I shot back at them before walking out of the room.  
  
“When you guys are ready to be serious and actually  _listen_  to me, I’ll tell you why I have to kill her.” I thought for a moment, before adding. “You should ask Chuck about it. It’s the exact same reason he wanted her dead three years ago.”  
  
I didn’t bother staying to hear Chuck’s angry protest – I know he thought he made a mistake. But as far as I was concerned, and as I’d already explained to my best friend, I was the one who’d made the error. Therefore, I had to fix it.  
  
I went into the kitchen, binning the bottle and poured myself a glass of water. Leaning against the bench, I listened to hear if the others were talking or if I could hear anything at all. Nothing. They were probably too shocked or upset. Then I heard the sound of footsteps coming toward the kitchen and Patrick walked through the doorway. I lifted an eyebrow. He glowered at me, went to the fridge, and grabbed a beer.  
  
I sniffed. “Sure, just help yourself.”  
  
He shot back at me, barely disguised disgust in his voice, “I bought these. You had nothing decent in here.”  
  
I shrugged and looked away. He got right into my face.  
  
“You’re fucking unbelievable. You know that?”  
  
Smirking, I pushed away from the bench.  
  
“Gonna make something of it, Langlois?”  
  
Pat grimaced, standing away from me. Kneading his fingers into the back of his neck, he then pulled the tab on the can and took a long pull. He sighed after and shifted to lean against the doorframe.  
  
“You’re really going to do that to her?”  
  
I gave him a long measured look. Then nodded slowly.  
  
“Yeah. I fell in love with her, y’know.”  
  
Patrick blinked at me.  
  
“What’s that got to do with anything?”  
  
I leaned back against the bench, bracing my hands against the surface.  
  
“It’s…” I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. “Falling in love with a slave is a no go, Pat.”  
  
“Oh…?”  
  
“ _Oui._  I should never have let it happen. But I did. A long while back…2003…2004. She…Marlz…was taken away from me then. By the Guild. They were going to terminate her life. But.” I stopped. Patrick tilted his beer then looked pointedly in my direction.  
  
“But?”  
  
Leaning my head back, I stared up at the ceiling.  
  
“But, for some reason…the Grand Master – he died a year ago – had her released and placed back in my custody.” Gritting my teeth, I was hesitant to go on, but Pat was staring at me expectantly. “I did a very stupid thing after that. I decided I’d free her…”  
  
Pat snapped. “How is that stupid? That’s a good thing isn’t it?”  
  
“No. I should’ve sent her back. Let the authorities do their job.” I shook my head in frustration. “I was too fucking soft.” Banging my glass down on the counter, I glared at him. “I realised I’d been fooling myself. She shouldn’t be alive today. So, I have to deal with this now. Before the end of this year. Otherwise I’m screwed.”  
  
“Screwed? How?”  
  
I laughed bitterly.  
  
“I made a promise to the Guild. I’m doing all this with their blessing. The thing is, what Marly knows and understands about all this is complete fiction. She thinks the Guild-”  
  
“The Guild?”  
  
“Of Dominant and Submissives.”  
  
“They exist?”  
  
“Yes.” I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, Marly thinks the Guild separated us and sent her away to give her a better chance at life. That’s why she’s going to school there.”  
  
Patrick frowned taking another sip of his beer.  
  
“So, she knows she was sent away? It was only us guys who had the complete lie?”  
  
I nodded wearily.  
  
“She knew from the beginning. She just didn’t know that I had anything to do with it.”  
  
“Does she know now?”  
  
“No. She still doesn’t know that.”  
  
“ _Merde_ …how could you do that to her?”  
  
Hadn’t I explained that to him already? I thought I had, what with asking him to get that ring for me, and basically letting him know that I was totally enamoured with Rochelle. And he was asking me how I could do that to Marly? I stared at him. He looked back at me, dark clouds of confusion swirling in his eyes.  
  
“Easy.” I walked past him back out into the corridor, still holding my glass of water. “I never  _really_  loved her, remember?”


	16. How does it feel?

_**Tuesday July 10th, 2007  
  
Guild of Dominants and Submissives  
  
Montreal  
  
8 AM  
  
* Third Person p.o.v. ***_  
  
“Are you going to explain what’s really going on, sir? I would appreciate not being kept in the dark.”  
  
Jake stood gripping the back of the chair in the Chairman’s office. He’d spent the past month attempting to find out any sliver of information possible; but his search had been fruitless. All he knew was what he had known from the beginning. And he didn’t want to keep repeating that stuff to himself because he knew there was more going on. He was now at his wits end and had finally decided to confront the Chairman about the issue.  
  
The Chairman leaned back against his seat gazing thoughtfully at the man standing in front of his desk.  
  
“How do you mean? You know that she was sent away for her own benefit.”  
  
“I don’t believe that.”  
  
“Don’t believe what, Jake?” His voice was sharp. Jake moved to sit on the chair, leaning forward.  
  
“I don’t believe it was for her benefit.”  
  
“You don’t?”  
  
“No.”  
  
The Chairman sighed deeply. He swivelled on his chair and stood, looking down at him.  
  
“Guess there’s no fooling you, is there? Tell me, why do you think I would tell you the truth now?”  
  
Jake scowled.  
  
“She was my responsibility before she came of age to be sold. You know that, sir.”  
  
“Yes. I do.” The Chairman moved to perch on the edge of the desk. “But she is no longer your responsibility.”  
  
Jake shifted on his chair, his pants scratching uncomfortably against his legs.  
  
“Well, I normally wouldn’t worry about it. I’ve never followed up on any of the other slaves and subs I brought up…but this one…she’s different.”  
  
“Why is that?”  
  
“She’s left a mark on my life…that’s all. And I feel responsible for her.”  
  
The Chairman moved back to his seat and leaned over to dial a number on his phone, switching it on to speakerphone.  
  
“You want answers? Here…I think you need to talk with the man behind all of this.”  
  
 _Ring…Ring…Ring…Click…  
  
“Ah…Chelle…let go a minute…oh…hey, Bouvier here.”_  
  
Jake felt a tightness in his chest -  _what the hell?_  He looked questioningly at the Chairman whose face was set in a stony expression. Giving nothing away. Jake sighed and steeled himself, knowing he’d have to get his answers from Pierre. Even though he couldn’t understand how that would be the case. Yet, he couldn’t speak, his mouth had dried up.  
  
 _“Hello? I know someone’s there? On speaker?”_  Pierre’s voice was light, jovial, sounding like he had not a care in the world.  
  
Jake cleared his throat.  
  
“It’s Jake Angel. I have a question for you.”  
  
 _“Jake. You have a question? Don’t tell me. You want to know what’s going to happen to Marly. Right?”_  His tone had changed. Pierre’s words were clipped, harsh.  
  
Jake gripped the edge of his seat, his knuckles going white.  
  
“Yeah, you got that right, Pierre. What the  _hell_  is going on?” He was shaking. The Chairman observed him silently not interfering.  
  
 _“You want the truth now? Fine. But let me tell you, you don’t want to hear this.”_  
  
“I don’t care. I have to know.”  
  
Pierre’s laughter was like ice-cold hail pelting down Jake’s spine. He shivered at the sound.  
  
 _“Hah. You think? Y’know I already told you she’s not your problem anymore. She’s mine.”_  
  
Jake bristled furiously.  
  
“Problem?”  
  
 _“Responsibility, whatever. Anyways, you wanna know? Then here it is: She’ll be dead before the end of September.”_  
  
“Jesus.” Jake fell silent unable to find the words to respond appropriately to Pierre’s pronouncement. The younger man grunted on the other end of the line.  
  
 _“Nothing to say?”_  
  
Jake bowed his head, clenching his hands in his short hair.  
  
“No…no…damn. No…I should’ve seen this…right? I should’ve known something like this would happen…should’ve been prepared for it…”  
  
Pierre’s voice actually softened as he interrupted Jake’s fumbled words.  
  
 _“You weren’t to know. I planned everything a long time ago…even before I…supposedly freed her. And before you ask what I mean by that…I’ll tell you. She’s still my slave. Heh…y’know, this is the third time I’ve had to tell someone this in the past few months…”_  
  
“Really.” Jake’s tone was dull, flat. He was numb. He couldn’t feel anything. Too many thoughts were swirling around his mind. He clenched his fist on top of the desk.  
  
“So.” His words caught in the back of his throat. “So. Tell me. How do you plan to go about this?”  
  
 _“You don’t need to know that.”_  
  
Jake groaned and stood rocking back on his heels.  
  
“Will you bring her back to Montreal?”  
  
Silence on the other end, the speaker crackled.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
 _“No.”_  
  
Jake looked down at the phone. Pierre’s answer came out so coldly, so…certainly that he almost felt the words springing from the phone and slapping him in the face.  
  
He paced the floor, absently taking in the framed certificates on the walls, the Guild banner, the sunlight streaming through the window. He knew Pierre was waiting on the other end of the line. But he had to get his thoughts together before he could say anything else. Taking several deep breaths, he turned so he could talk.  
  
“Okay. So…she dies on the other side of the world? In a place she doesn’t really know? Guess it makes it easier for you.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness from his voice. The sense of hopelessness increased at Pierre’s callous rejoinder.  
  
 _“Makes no difference to me. It’s just more convenient, and less costly. And we’ll be in Australia for our album release. I got the timing right there. I do have a question for you though.”_  
  
Jake grimaced.  
  
“What’s that?”  
  
Pierre’s response was conversational as if his question was commonplace.  
  
 _“Any idea what chemical cocktail I need for an efficient lethal injection?”_  
  
The Chairman who had been silent throughout the exchange, and hence was able to see the frozen look of shock horror on Jake’s face, chose to interrupt at that point.  
  
“Mr Bouvier, the officers at the Fremantle Guild can fill you in with those details. I need to end this call…I have a meeting I must attend.”  
  
 _“Oh…hello, sir. Of course. Jake? Don’t take this too hard, eh? It’s something that has to be done…catcha round, eh. I’d better go…my girlfriend wants to take me to meet her parents.”_  
  
Jake remained speechless. Pierre didn’t press, saying goodbye and ringing off. The Chairman stood and walked over to the office door.  
  
“Jake.”  
  
With nothing more to say, Jake slouched out of the room, shoulders slumped despondently. All hope of a happy ending was gone. He knew all he could do was stand back and watch as the life of one of the only slaves he had ever remembered was taken, crushed, destroyed. It was inevitable. And there was no way he could prevent it. No way at all. It broke his heart.  
  
 _ **Tuesday August 14th, 2007  
  
Montreal Studio  
  
8 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
“How does it feel?”  
  
“How does what feel?” I spoke into the mic as I peered through the thick glass of the vocal booth at Pat who had commandeered the soundboard, glaring back at me. He wasn’t happy.  
  
“How does what feel?” I repeated sharply. He snorted, rolling his eyes. I scowled. If he wasn’t going to tell me, I didn’t really have time for stupid questions. “Can we get on with this? I need to finish tracking my vocals.”  
  
Patrick grumbled and I watched as Dave Fortman, our producer -- did I tell you about him? He’s fucking amazing -- nudged him aside and took over.  
  
“Okay, Pierre - just go over the bridge again.”  
  
I slid my headphones back on, moved close to the microphone, and began to sing, attempting to ignore Pat’s frosty stare. We were almost done. In fact, I was tracking vocals for the final song on our list of tracks and once I’d finished only David had to finish laying his bass tracks. Then the post-production process could begin. We’d definitely be done by September. We were so close. So I couldn’t let Pat’s apparently off moods get to me. At least, not right now. I knew I’d have to deal with it sooner or later. After all, a lot of it was my fault -- all that shit to do with Marly. Just. I didn’t want to deal with it now.  
  
“Pierre. Pierre!”  
  
I frowned, pausing mid-song.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
Dave was giving me a tired look.  
  
“You’re singing off-key. You want to take a break?”  
  
I hesitated; I could see Pat hovering in the background. I knew if I stopped now he’d start into me, but I also realised that all the shit going through my head probably wouldn’t stop until I talked to him.  
  
“Fuck.”  
  
Muttering, I swung my headphones off hanging them on a hook on the wall and walked out of the booth, grabbing my water bottle on the way out. Patrick came up to me, opening his mouth to speak. I held my left hand out at him, lifting my water bottle to my lips, taking a long drink. He scowled at me, but moved back and waited. I took several more long sips before placing the bottle on the table and turning to look at him.  
  
“Okay. You going to tell me what your problem is?” Arching my eyebrows, I waited. _This had better be good…_  
  
Patrick grimaced. “How does it feel? Being officially engaged.”  
  
I smirked. “Why? You wanna give it a try?”  
  
“Not yet.” He muttered, crossing his arms. “How does it feel?” His voice was hard. I could tell he was pissed. I stretched my arms behind my head.  
  
“Feels great. Never felt better.” I observed his closed expression. “Why are you asking?”  
  
Patrick gave me an ‘are you for fucking real?’ look then waved his hands at me dismissively and stalked away. I shook my head. Few weeks earlier, I had taken Rochelle out for a lovely candlelit dinner at our favourite Chinese restaurant and had proposed to her. Down on one knee and everything. That’s her idea of romance. Pretty fucking nice really.  
  
Anyway, we’d told the guys a week later and now, none of them want to talk to me unless it’s absolutely necessary. (By the way, I told Jeff and Seb the truth about my relationship with Marly at the same time…because I was literally forced to by Patrick. It shocked them and now they’re  _both_  majorly pissed at me.) Even Chuck doesn’t have much to say to me these days. However, I don’t let it get to me. We have a record to make…that takes precedence over everything else right now. And I’m enjoying the process, so it’s mostly good.  
  
Sighing I shook my head again and made my way back into the vocal booth. But as soon as I entered, I found that someone was already in there. David was standing in front of the headphone hook arms folded, a strangely cold glint in his eyes.  
  
“What?” I snapped and tried to reach over him to grab the headphones. But he fucking pushed me back. I actually gaped at him. “What the fuck?”  
  
“ _One month_ …” David hissed furiously. “One month and we don’t even get to say anything to her.” He was shaking. I could see sweat beading on his top lip. The poor guy was going to give himself a heart attack.  
  
“Dude. Speak English, I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about.”  _Liar_. I knew perfectly well what he was banging on about. David grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me down so his eyes were level with mine. I could have easily knocked him away from me; I’m a much bigger guy than him. However, I was curious to hear what he had to say, so I allowed him to back me up against the glass window. Once he had me pressed up there, he just stared furiously at me. I could almost see the cogs turning in his mind. But, finally whatever he was thinking came to the front of his thoughts and he snapped at me, angrily.  
  
“We go to Australia in a month, right. And you’re going to kill her when we get there, right.”  
  
I definitely wasn’t going to respond to that. I just shrugged. David growled, clenching his fist and lifting it as if he would hit me. I looked at him, a dare in my eyes. He ground his teeth together and dropped his hand. I smirked inwardly; the kid didn’t have it in him to hurt me. I watched him; he grunted and shoved me in the chest.  
  
“Fuck you, Pierre. Fuck you. I can’t believe you’d do that.”  
  
I shook my head and grabbing his shoulders pushed him away from me.  
  
“Believe what you want,” I muttered darkly. “It doesn’t change anything.”  
  
“Yeah? And what does Rochelle think about all of this?”  
  
I looked at him. Truthfully, she hadn’t been particularly happy when I told her of my plans. However, she had told me that if I believed it was necessary then she really couldn’t do anything about it and that she would come to accept it. I was grateful for her honesty and her support. I wasn’t going to tell David any of that though. I snorted.  
  
“She’s fine with it, David. Could you get out now? I have to finish this song.”  
  
He groaned and stormed from the booth shooting a hard look at me before letting the door shut behind him. I shook my head, grabbed the headphones and settled my body in front of the microphone. Dave sat in front of the soundboard and nodded for me to carry on. With that, I launched into it, pushing all thoughts away, focussing on the music.  
  
 _ **Saturday August 18th, 2007  
  
Damien’s Flat  
  
10 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
The sheets were tangled around our semi-naked bodies. Damien lay behind me and had both his arms wrapped snugly around my waist. Closing my eyes, I sighed in content. It was comforting just having him hold me close to him. I hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long time. Now before you get worked up or anything, we didn’t do anything. We’re just lying together, enjoying each other’s warmth. Because, just so you know, I’m not ready to sleep with anyone else just yet.  
  
Yes, I know I’ve been living with Damien for over two months, now. But I’m just not looking for that in my relationship with him. At least that’s what I told him…I’m actually, in all honesty, afraid of the notion of…being intimate with him. After all, if you think about it, the only man I’ve ever had sexual relations with was Pierre. And even though I have no one else to compare him to, I swear that no other man could play my body as well as he.  
  
Pierre was after all my Master…he knew me inside and out, knew which buttons to push. He was in complete control of my emotions. Hah, even now he still had a hold over me. Though I’d attempted to steer my mind from thoughts of him to thoughts of my future as a ‘born again’ Christian, I was finding it extremely difficult.  
  
At the most inopportune times an image of Pierre would rise in front of my eyes; he appeared in my dreams; I saw him on the street when walking with Damien. I saw him in Paul Morrison when he was leading worship, I saw him in the man who had lead my baptism - a month ago. I even swore I saw him sitting in the congregation at Riverview. I saw Pierre everywhere, and nothing I did could change that. I still loved him, painfully so. And I could do nothing to dispel my heart and mind of his presence. He was like a ghost that refused to stop haunting me.  
  
Being with Damien didn’t do anything to alter my feelings towards Pierre, it only managed to dull the terrible ache in my heart. The pain was still there, it always would be. All I could hope was that somehow Damien could help ease it to a tolerable level.  
  
I shifted in his arms so I could lean my cheek against his chest. He stroked his fingers through my hair, massaging his fingertips into my scalp. I sighed softly. He smiled down into my eyes.  
  
“Feel good?”  
  
I nodded against his chest. He smiled more and continued. Closing my eyes, I drifted off, feeling safe, secure in his arms.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **Sunday August 19th, 2007  
  
Riverview Church  
  
8:30 AM  
  
…I search for You God of strength  
  
I bow to You in my brokenness…**_  
  
I was trembling. My legs felt as if they wouldn’t be able to support my upright stance. I had to get off the stand. I motioned to the choir conductor. He nodded to me; he could obviously see that I was feeling faint. I quickly squeezed past my fellow choir members mumbling apologies as I jumped down and went behind the stage, to sit on the steps.  
  
Leaning my face in my hands I allowed the music to waft over me. The words sinking deep into my heart, triggering tears that dripped steadily down my face.  
  
This was my second official choir rehearsal for the Church choir. Paul had coaxed me into joining -- after I’d been baptised, which was an incredible experience, I have to say -- because he insisted that I had an amazing voice and that the choir was always searching for new members. I hadn’t needed much prompting; I knew I needed something to help get my mind off all my problems. And the several hours spent with the choir seemed to help a lot. And I have to tell you being up on the stage, even during the rehearsals, is a refreshing, cleansing experience. I always, always, feel the presence of God up there…and…it gives me hope that I could possibly have a better life.  
  
The new song we’re singing at today’s service  _In Your Freedom_ , could seriously be my anthem. I’ve been driving Damien crazy practising it at all hours when we’re not studying together. But he tolerates my singing with a tender smile and just a few teasing comments. I know he agrees with Paul about my gift.  
  
I sighed, wiping the back of my hand across my eyes. I didn’t look up as the choir exited the stage. Several people stopped to ask me if I was okay; I nodded slightly. But then Paul appeared and came to sit next to me.  
  
“Hey? What’s up?”  
  
Shaking my head, I gave a watery smile.  
  
“That song… _In Your Freedom_ …it really hits me…right here…” I splayed my hand over my heart. He tilted his head at me.  
  
“Yeah? It’s pretty amazing, eh?”  
  
I nodded.  
  
“It’s…it’s like it was written specifically for me…y’know? Before…before coming here…I felt lost…I was…broken…” I flushed lowering my eyes.  
  
I still felt broken…I hadn’t completely healed just yet; I knew that would take some time. I was hopeful that I would come through in the end. Perhaps in some misguided way the Guild had done the right thing in separating me from Pierre. I continued to stare down at my black shoes. Paul reached out to rest a hand on my shoulder. He didn’t say anything though. Words weren’t necessary.  
  
Eventually, I lifted my eyes to his and smiled.  
  
“Better go get ready…service starts in half and hour…”  
  
Paul nodded and stood, looking down at me.  
  
“You going to be alright?”  
  
Pushing to my feet and gripping the railing, I nodded back.  
  
“Yeah, I’ll be right.”  
  
“Great. C’mon then.”  
  
He took the steps two at a time; I followed to where the rest of the team were lounging around having cups of teas and picking at the spread of food that we all had to bring each week. I noticed that Damien was there talking to the choir conductor a serious expression on his face. I grabbed a slice of toast, went to sit down on one of the chairs, and just watched him.  
  
Damien stood with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, the blue hoodie hanging on his lean body. He favoured his right foot, rubbing the back of his ankle with his left shoe. He appeared to be having a serious discussion with the conductor; he wasn’t wearing his usual smirk. I sat up slightly when Paul joined them, standing with a hand resting on Damien’s shoulder.  
  
 _What’s going on…?_  
  
Damien glanced up then, his emerald gaze meeting mine. A tiny smile flitted across his lips, and he nodded to me. I blinked. He waved to me. I stood and walked over to stand with them.  
  
“What are you doing?” I whispered. Paul answered for him, voice serious.  
  
“Damien was just telling us that you’re only going to be able to be in the choir for a little while.”  
  
I frowned, looking at him.  
  
“You said that?”  
  
Damien nodded, lips pressed together; something in his eyes warned me not to contradict him. I rubbed my face. I was confused, but I didn’t let that show as I turned back to Paul.  
  
“Well, I guess that’s the truth then, eh. But don’t worry, I’ll sing at every service until…”  _Uh…until what, Damien?_  
  
“Until we leave.” Damien’s voice was low. I glanced sharply at him. He grinned. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Where’re we going again?”  _Where are we going at all? Are we even going anywhere? What the hell is Damien talking about?_  Damien answered smoothly. He obviously knew exactly what he was talking about.  
  
“Canada.”  
  
 _No way. That can’t be right. When the hell did he decide that?_  
  
“Damien. We can’t be. Eskimo Joe have their album release, we have to be here for that.”  
  
Paul and the conductor both raised their eyebrows, curious as to where our conversation was leading. Damien snorted.  
  
“We’re going after that.”  
  
Paul interrupted.  
  
“When’s that?”  
  
“September 14th is the album release.” Damien scratched his jaw. “We leave the day after.”  
  
The worship pastor blinked.  
  
“That’s less than a month away.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
I swallowed.  
  
“I’m sorry, Paul.”  _I’m sorry I have no idea what Damien’s talking about…_  
  
“Nah, don’t be. We’ll save your place for you.” He smiled warmly at me. I reached up to hug him. Damien watched silently not saying anything. Paul squeezed me around my shoulders. “Don’t stay away for too long, ‘kay?”  
  
I giggled.  
  
“I’ll try not to…” I looked behind him to Damien; there was an odd glint in his eyes. “We’re coming back, right?”  _We’re not going anywhere, are we?_  
  
I swear he hesitated before responding.  
  
“Of course, Marly.”  
  
My throat tightened. A terrible thought niggling in my mind.  
  
 _Something’s wrong here…no. No. Don’t think that, Marlz…don’t think that…_ I shook my head to clear my mind. It was a wonder that the others couldn’t sense my turmoil. Paul stepped back and glanced up at the clock.  
  
“15 minutes…” He smiled at me then held up his hands and called out to the others. “C’mon, let’s pray before we go up.”  
  
 _Yeah…good idea…I need to pray that I’ll find answers to all these bloody questions going crazy in my mind…_  
  
Damien moved behind me and touched the backs of his fingers to my cheek.  
  
“See ya after the service…” He slipped away before I could say anything to him.  
  
I shook my head again, kneading my fingers into the hollows of my eyes as I turned to face inwards, closing my eyes and letting my chin drop to my chest as several members of the choir began to pray out loud.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The lights were hot up on the stage. I stood with my eyes half closed and hands lifted as the conductor signalled ‘free worship’. Paul was at the front of the stage, arms raised, eyes closed giving his all, his voice resounding around the auditorium.  
  
My heart beat steadily as I moved to the music allowing my emotions to take over, washing away every worried thought that I’d brought with me to the stage. I could  _feel_ something other come over me as we sang. But it wasn’t just singing…it was an outpouring of love, devotion… belongingness. I felt up there that I had my place here in this world. That I mattered.  
  
That was what I needed; I didn’t need to think about issues external to myself. Not whilst I was up here. No…I would do what it said in a song that Paul taught me the other day… I’d cast all my cares upon Jesus…and let Him help me through this. I felt a smile spread across my face as the conductor cued us into the beginning of the new song…This felt just right…  
  
 _I search for You God of strength  
  
I bow to You in my brokenness  
  
And no other King could have so humbly come  
  
To save my soul and heal my heart  
  
I have nothing more than all You offer me  
  
There is nothing else that's of worth to me  
  
I love You Lord  
  
You rescued me  
  
You are all that I want  
  
You're all that I need  
  
I pray to You God of peace  
  
I rest in You my cares released  
  
I have nothing more than all You offer me  
  
There is nothing else that's of worth to me  
  
I love You Lord  
  
You rescued me  
  
You are all that I want  
  
You're all that I need  
  
In Your freedom I will live  
  
In Your freedom I will live  
  
I offer devotion, I offer devotion…  
  
(© Hillsong Music)_


	17. Panorama view...

_**Wednesday August 22nd, 2007  
  
Mushroom Records  
  
3 PM  
  
* Kav’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
It’s done! Finished! What am I gassing about? Our album! We’re finally done! And it’s fucking amazing if you ask me. I’ve already played it for Sheri, Marly and Damien; they love it. And the producer is stoked with it. I can’t wait to unleash our first single on the public. We’re going to have an exclusive release in a few days time.  
  
The album release isn’t until next month. Yeah I know, pretty quick after a single release, but we’re confident. It worked for us for our last album. Oh, by the way, the single is also the title of the new album, the one the band decided on ages ago.  
  
You remember that list? Well, that song  _Until the Sky Falls_  is our first single and the name of the record. I’d let you listen to it but, we gotta wait for the official unveiling…so yeah. I’m so pumped. And I know Stu and Joel are just as excited about it.  
  
It’s a  _very_  different direction for us. It might actually switch a lot of people off our music. But I could care less. It’s still rock but there’s a bit of an evangelical twist to some of the songs.  
  
Anyways, I’m here at the studio right now with Marly and Sheri not really doing anything. It gets like that sometimes. Damien’s here too, he’s sitting next to Marly actually. Hah…those two…they’re so…intimate with each other. He’s always touching her, on the face, the arm, somewhere on her body; and she does the same to him.  
  
I know they haven’t slept with each other though. But, there’s no rush there, hey. I mean it took Sheri forever to sleep with me. Just made it all the more better in my opinion. Anyway, Marly looks happy…she feels happy to me too, and I guess that’s what’s important.  
  
She’s been singing in the Church choir too, which has been real good for her. Getting involved in the community like that is probably something I would’ve done if I hadn’t been in Eskimo Joe. Not in the choir, probably as a muso. A band member.  
  
“Hey, Kav.”  
  
I brought myself out of the contemplation of my navel and looked across to Damien.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“When’s the single release?”  
  
“This Saturday, we’re doing it online.”  
  
Damien chuckled.  
  
“What’s up with that?”  
  
“What’s up with what?” Marly peered over his shoulder. He turned to her and placed a hand on her cheek his voice soft when he answered.  
  
“Well,” he paused. “Simple Plan is doing exactly the same thing.”  
  
I watched as her eyes widened and her face went pale.  
  
“How do you know that, Damo?”  
  
He cradled her face gently.  
  
“I’ve been keeping up to date…watching their site…I know you stopped doing it. But I thought you’d want to know. The first single off their album is called  _When I’m Gone_ …you want me to play the snippet Pat posted on the web?”  
  
Marly was blinking rapidly. She glanced toward me. I shrugged gently her way.  
  
She looked back at Damien who added quietly, “There are some new photos of the guys on the fan site as well. Hang on…”  
  
He got up and disappeared into the back room, appearing moments later holding his laptop in his arms. He sat down between Marly and I and set it on the table in front of us, opening and switching it on. I leaned back and folded my arms not speaking. Marly leaned forward taking hold of Damien’s hand; he squeezed her hand. He opened the web browser and clicked on the favourites list, then clicked on the link to SimplePlan.com.  
  
“Hey, they’ve changed the layout.” Marly tilted her head to the side. “Cool…I didn’t think Pat would ever change it…” she laughed a little. “The other layout was getting kinda old…”  
  
I chuckled and rolled my eyes. Damien snorted.  
  
“It says that it’s a transition site between the old and the new. Anyway.” He scrolled down to the small flash player and clicked play turning the volume up. “Listen to this.”  
  
 _…Whoa-oh leave the past in the past  
  
Gonna find the future  
Misery loves company  
Well, so long, you'll miss me when I’m gone  
You're gonna miss me when I’m gone  
You're gonna miss me when I’m gone…_  
  
“Wow…” Marly’s voice shook slightly. She breathed deeply then looked over to me. I could see tears at the corners of her eyes. I smiled.  
  
“Pretty good isn’t it.”  
  
Damien touched her face again.  
  
“What do you think?”  
  
Marly sniffed.  
  
“His voice just gets better…” she choked on the words and bowed her head, hair falling across her face. Damien wrapped his arms around her.  
  
“It’s okay, sweetie…” She leaned into him. I stood and walked over to the kitchenette to grab some tissues. I crossed back and held them out to her.  
  
“Marlz…”  
  
She peered up at me; tears clung to her eyelashes. A watery smile passed across her face. I pressed the tissues into her hand.  
  
“Here…”  
  
“Thanks.” She used them to wipe her eyes then blew her nose gently. I sat back down. Damien squeezed her then turned to click on the fan site.  
  
“Ready to see some photos?”  
  
Marly looked at him.  
  
“If I don’t look at them now…I never will. And anyway…I want to see the other guys…even if…” She stopped. Damien just nodded. We both understood what she was getting at. She added though, with a wry smirk, “Regardless of my feelings…I’m still a Simple Plan fan.”  
  
“Heh,” I smiled.  
  
Damien scrolled down to the photos that had been posted recently. Simple Plan had done their first official photo shoot in New York City. As an aside, we did  _our_  photo shoot on Subiaco Oval. The AFL ground here in Perth. That was pretty cool. Anywho…back to Simple Plan.  
  
Damien had clicked on the first photo. A shot of the guys standing outside somewhere with a huge bridge in the background. They looked like they were waiting for something. Probably for the photo shoot to start.  
  
I glanced at Marly. She was leaning forward her gaze flicking across the photo, studying it closely. She blinked several times.  
  
“What’s that on Pierre’s arm?” Her voice was tight. Damien frowned.  
  
“Looks like a tattoo…” He tilted his head, squinting. “Hang on…” He clicked on the next photo; it was a close up of Sebastien and Pierre. I watched Marly as she held her hands to her face and took a deep breath. Damien placed his arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently.  
  
“God…I should be over him…but…” Marly shook her head. “And…look, you’re right it is a tatt…a big one…” She lifted her eyes to meet his.  
  
I smiled inwardly. They were good together. Any initial doubts I had about Damien had been dispelled by his attitude towards her, the way he treated her like she was the most special person in the world. I’m like that with Sheri, y’know. It’s a real good thing.  
  
“Look at Seb…”  
  
I pulled my eyes back to the laptop monitor. Marly was pointing at the other man in the photo a small smile on her face.  
  
“He’s getting sexier every day…” She leaned into Damien and sighed. He rubbed her arm then looked over to me.  
  
“I have to say, I think your photo shoot was way sexier.”  
  
I snorted. “That’s ‘cause  _we’re_  way sexier.”  
  
Marly giggled, peeking at me.  
  
“You wish, Kav.” There was an underlying sadness to her tone. I smiled kindly at her.  
  
“I know who you think is sexy.”  
  
“Me.” Damien teased her tickling her ribs. Marly pushed him away.  
  
“No.” She looked back at the photo and sniffed. “You know who I’m talking about.”  
  
He sighed and flopped back against the couch. I stood and rubbed my palms on my jeans.  
  
“C’mon. Let’s go grab the others and do something.”  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **Fremantle Port  
  
4 PM**_  
  
We stood on the dock watching as the Captain Cook Ferry came in to pick up people heading off to Rotty…Rottnest Island. Stu, Joel and I were standing back a bit, away from the edge of the dock. The wind was blowing a gale; my hair was an absolute mess. Joel was wearing a beanie, smart guy. Stu had a Fremantle Dockers scarf wrapped around his neck. He’s mad keen on his AFL, watches every game…me I’m not into that so much. More into my music.  
  
I glanced across the way a bit. Marly and Damien were standing closer to the edge of the dock. He was behind her with his arms around her waist, his chin propped against the top of her head as she leaned back against him. The wind was blowing her hair across her face and she was laughing as Damien leaned close to her ear whispering to her.  
  
“Hey, Kav.”  
  
I looked at Stu. He tugged at his scarf. I lifted an eyebrow.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I was just thinking about the album release…management asked me whether we wanted to invite anyone, other than just the team.”  
  
I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Damien and Marly are coming.”  
  
“That’s not what I meant.”  
  
“Uh…then who?”  
  
“Other bands.”  
  
Raising my eyebrow again, I smirked.  
  
“Like who?”  
  
Stu shrugged. “We could ask the Good Charlotte guys. Or at least Joel and Benji. Joel said they were going to be holidaying here round then.”  
  
Joel ( _our_ Joel) leaned across and said somewhat hesitantly, “Simple Plan will be in Perth as well, apparently.”  
  
I scowled.  
  
“Dude, I don’t think inviting them would be such a great idea…” I tilted my head toward Marly.  
  
Joel shrugged. “They don’t have to go near each other. And I bet she’d be stoked to see the other guys. We’ll just have to make sure Pierre doesn’t go near her.”  
  
I scrunched my hair in my fingers.  
  
“Well…”  
  
Stu snorted. “Knowing them, they’ll find the after party at any rate. Invite them.”  
  
“Fine.” I shrugged. “But you can be responsible for making sure that Pierre doesn’t go near Marly.”  
  
Stu flicked the end of his scarf.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
Joel stretched.  
  
“Anyone else?”  
  
“Anyone else what?”  
  
“Anyone else you want to invite?”  
  
“My wife.” I smirked. He rolled his eyes.  
  
“She’ll be there anyway.”  
  
“Yeah, I know. I’m just being stupid.”  
  
Stu snorted. “So, who’re you going to call?”  
  
“Ghostbusters.” I chuckled.  
  
“He means which band-”  
  
“I know, Joel.” I crouched down. “I’ll give Chuck a call.”  
  
“Now?”  
  
“Why not? Give him time to organise the schedule…because you know how anal he can be.”  
  
Stu laughed. “Yeah? Almost as anal as you.”  
  
“Ha-ha.” I straightened and walked away from them flipping open my mobile and hitting Chuck’s name on speed-dial. The perks of being in a band that’s almost internationally known, you get the numbers of band members from other countries. And did I mention that playing a gig with Simple Plan and Good Charlotte is fucking amazing? Well, anyway…  
  
I held the phone against my ear and smirked faintly when Chuck answered, sounding very tired.  
  
 _“Comeau speaking.”_  
  
“Sure. I’d recognise that voice anywhere.”  
  
 _“Kav? Dude. Do you know what time it is over here?”_  
  
I snorted. “Four in the morning.”  
  
 _“Yeah. So, what’s up?”_  
  
“Wondering if you guys wanted to come to our album launch. It’s on while you’re here in Perth.”  
  
 _“How do you know that?”_  
  
He was a little shocked; that made me laugh.  
  
“I checked your website.”  
  
 _“Oh. Right. Of course. Well…I see the some of the guys later today…it is today here you know.”_  
  
Brushing a hand through my hair I smiled.  
  
“Yeah. Sorry…I shoulda waited until later to call you.”  
  
 _“Heh, doesn’t matter, I was actually awake anyway.”_  
  
“So, you’ll put it to them?”  
  
 _“Oui, I’ll call you back, ‘kay?”_  
  
“Sure. Call back whenever. I’ll let the others know.”  
  
 _“Talk to you in a few days then.”_  
  
“A few days?”  
  
 _“Yeah, can’t ask Pierre today, won’t see him until Friday…and I’d rather ask him to his face.”_  
  
“Yeah, fair enough.” I knew why that was. What with everything that was going on with Marly…  
  
 _“So, talk to you in a few days, eh.”_  
  
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me and clicked my phone off. Walking back to the others and second-guessing their questioning looks, I yawned before speaking.  
  
“Chuck says he’ll call back in a few days after he’s spoken to the rest of the band.” I scratched the back of my head looking toward Marly and Damien who were still standing exactly as they had been for the past few moments. “Now we just have to wait…”  
  
Stu and Joel both nodded and we resumed gazing across the sea, each of us in quiet contemplation of things to come.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **Friday August 24th, 2007  
  
Montreal Studio  
  
9 AM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Chuck wandered through the door nursing a cup of coffee, the steam curling up to obliterate the expression on his face. I looked up from the book I was reading. The last Harry Potter book. It’s actually Seb’s copy, but he only just finished it, so I’ve only just managed to snaffle it away. Had to sneak it out of his bag whilst he wasn’t looking…Now that no one, other than Rochelle, wants to hang out with me, I’ve been doing a lot of reading in my down time.  
  
I have to admit, I’m a major fan of the Harry Potter books. Been reading them from the start. If I had magic…I’d want an invisibility cloak like the one Dumbledore gave Harry. Heh, I was fucking bummed when Dumbledore was killed in the last book. Absolutely hate Snape. Anyway, Chuck had just walked in hadn’t he? I’d just looked up at him.  
  
“What are you doing here?”  
  
Chuck blinked at me.  
  
“Uh. We have the web cast for the new single if you haven’t forgotten.”  
  
“Ah…” I rolled my eyes and went back to the book. He sat down next to me. I grunted in irritation. I didn’t like being disturbed if I was reading. Chuck raised his eyebrows at me, his glasses slipping down his nose a little.  
  
“What?” I snapped, glaring at him.  _Can’t you see I’m busy, asswipe?_  
  
Chuck ignored my look.  
  
“I got a call from Kav the other day.”  
  
 _Huh?_  I racked my brains to see if I could remember that name.  
  
“Temperley. Y’know, Eskimo Joe.”  
  
 _Right. That’s right. Marly was living with him. Now she’s with Damien…_ “Yeah? About?” I put the book down on my lap and waited. Chuck scratched his nose and pushed his glasses back up into place, setting his cup down on the table.  
  
“Well. They have their album release whilst we’re in Perth.”  
  
I cocked an eyebrow.  
  
“And?”  
  
“He was wondering if we wanted to come along.” Chuck snorted a little. “He says Stu reckons we’d find the after party anyways, so we might as well come to the release.”  
  
Frowning, I dog-eared the page and put the book on the table, leaning forward.  
  
“Don’t you think it’d be a bad idea for me to be there?”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Marly.” I rolled my eyes at him.  
  
Chuck sighed wearily.  
  
“Jesus…”  
  
I smirked. “Has nothing to do with any of this.”  
  
“Fuck you, Pierre. Can you for once stop thinking about her?”  
  
Folding my arms and leaning back against the sofa, I tilted my head back to stare up at the ceiling.  
  
“Who said I was thinking about her. I was just saying it might be a problem.”  
  
Actually it wouldn’t really be a problem since I was planning on being in Fremantle in September anyway, so I could deal with her…but obviously Chuck didn’t want to think about that little detail…probably deliberately forgotten about it.  
  
“Oh, so now she’s an ‘it’ is she?”  
  
Chuck was angry, once again. Seriously the guy should loosen up a bit. I just looked at him, and then pushed up off the couch, grabbing the book and making to walk into the other room.  
  
“Whatever. Look, I don’t care what you do. Call Kav back and tell him we’ll be there. Or not. As you like.”  
  
With that said, I disappeared into the backroom closing the door so I could get some peace and quiet.  
  
 _ **10 AM**_  
  
There was a loud banging on the door. I lifted my head from the book, scowling at the noise.  
  
“What the fuck? Stop that will you!” I grabbed my shoe and hurled it at the door. The banging ceased. Seconds later the door flew open.  
  
“Pierre. Get out here now.”  
  
It was Chuck. And he looked mad. Big surprise there. I put the book down and glared at him.  
  
“What’s your problem?”  
  
“There’s no problem. The web cast, remember?” He bent down and picked up my shoe tossing it at me. I caught it, rubbing my other hand over my face.  
  
 _Oh. Right. Of course._  Honestly, I hadn’t forgotten about it. It’d be a bit hard not to since we’d been bigging it up on our website and MySpace page over the past week. We’d finally finished the album on the 17th, had it mastered over the 18th and 19th, in New York,  _and_  decided what our first single was going to be. We’d arrived back from N.Y. on Tuesday and Pat had put up a preview on SimplePlan.com, and today we would be premiering the whole song. Pretty damn exciting, really. Almost makes up for the fact that no one (except Chuck) is speaking to me anymore.  
  
Pulling my shoe back on, I stood without saying anything to Chuck and brushed passed him as I headed out into the main room. I could hear him grumbling behind me as he followed. I shot a look back at him over my shoulder.  
  
“Smile, dude. The fans don’t need to see you looking pissed.”  
  
“Fuck you.” He sounded only half-hearted when he said that. Guess I’d worn him down. I just rolled my eyes and joined the rest of the guys at the table.  
  
There was a camera set up several feet in front of the table, which Pat had connected to the desktop computer and Internet. He was sitting to the left of David at his laptop (which is wirelessly connected to the Net). I settled myself on the chair at centre front (next to David as well) and nodded toward Andy who had joined us for the web cast. An official rep for Lava/Atlantic Records had to be here and Chuck and I trusted no one else.  
  
Chuck flopped on the chair next to me. I glanced at him, eyebrows raised. He just gave me a cold look then turned to face the camera putting on his ‘public face’. I snorted, doing exactly the same thing. We both knew that the fans would know no better. They would not be aware of the tension that I could feel amongst all the guys -- they had all strategically placed themselves so they could fool the camera into thinking we were sitting closely -- I could tell that they were avoiding me in their own ways.  
  
Anyway, I didn’t think those types of emotion translated over camera. I could be wrong, but I wasn’t going to let that get in the way of doing my job. And, if I pretended hard enough that everything was all right, it almost seemed real.  
  
Andy swivelled on his chair and looked at the six of us.  
  
“Ready?”  
  
I flashed a thumb’s up. Chuck nodded. Pat cracked his knuckles readjusting his laptop monitor.  
  
“Let’s get this show on the road.”  
  
The red light began blinking on the camera, I grinned and lifted my left arm to wave at the camera. I could almost imagine the gasps of the fans when they saw my tattoo. Not that I could actually see them. It’s quite funny really, doing a video for people we can’t see, but I guess it’s just like vlogging for MySpace. Only on a larger scale.  
  
“Hi! What’s up people? We’re back! In case you don’t know us, we are Simple Plan.”  
  
“We are.” That was Seb, I flicked my eyes back to him, and he blinked at me.  
  
There was a pause and then Andy, ever the jokester -- the guy attempted to sing Addicted once back in 2002 -- said in a matter-of-fact tone, “Yes.”  
  
I snorted.  
  
“Yes. We have confirmation we are Simple Plan.” All the guys laughed. It only sounded a little forced. I scratched my left arm.  
  
“We are hanging out here…live.”  
  
Chuck smirked, “Yes, we are live!”  
  
“In Montreal!” David added grinning madly.  
  
I leaned back against my chair smiling directly into the camera.  
  
“Welcome to the…uh…world premiere of our new single…When I’m Gone…”  
  
 _And off we go…Simple Plan is back in action…_


	18. “Don’t let the sadness ruin everything..."

_**Saturday September 1st, 2007  
  
A Bar in Downtown Montreal  
  
11 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
You know an engagement party is supposed to be fun, right? And sure, I was drinking a bit and having a good laugh with my older brothers and their wives -- yeah, they’re both hitched already. Beat me to it, but then I’ve been busy with my head stuck up my ass. Not a good place to be, eh. But, I was telling you how I was supposed to be having fun right? Rochelle is that’s for sure. She’s out on the floor, dancing. I could see glimpses of her long blonde hair flashing under the lights as she moved amongst the throng of people. Some of her friends were with her. They were having a good time.  
  
Me. I sat here craning my neck to look towards the entrance every second minute. Jon, my eldest brother, gripped my shoulder.  
  
“They’ll be here…they’re your best friends, dude. They’re probably just late.”  
  
I looked at him and shook my head. He didn’t understand what was going on. And I definitely wasn’t going to explain any of this shit to him.  
  
“It’s already 11, Jon.”  
  
“Give it another hour, you know how they are.”  
  
“No. Jon. I  _know_  how they are. If they were going to be here they would’ve been here at 9.”  
  
Grimacing I scrubbed at my face.  
  
“I might as well give up. They’re not going to show.” I turned to the bar and motioned to the bartender. “Another Jack…”  
  
My other brother, Jason, raised his eyebrows.  
  
“Do you think you should be drinking so much?”  
  
“Fuck you,” I muttered, even though I know it lacked conviction. Jay sighed.  
  
“What’s going on, anyways? Since when do those guys miss a chance to party with you?”  
  
I grunted, non-intelligibly as I downed the bottle of Jack as fast as I could, watching the liquid swirling in the bottle. My brothers shook their heads at me and wandered away, leaving me alone. I put the bottle down and leaned my forehead in my hands.  
  
I knew deep down that the fact they weren’t here was my own fault. The things I was doing…the things I had planned…had alienated me from them. And it hurt. Those guys had been my friends for so long…they were brothers to me. I didn’t really have any other close friends and…and it hurt that they didn’t want anything to do with me. Even Chuck hadn’t shown up. The one guy out of the five that I thought would at least make an effort to come to my fucking engagement party.  
  
I blinked rapidly. This night was important to me and even he didn’t think that was worth putting his anger aside for…even for a couple of hours. My oldest friend…  
  
I scowled as I felt a sudden wetness on my cheek. I smeared the back of my right hand across my face. Tears.  
  
 _Fuck._  I was crying.  _Fuck._  Tasted salt in my mouth.  _Fuck…I can’t do this…_  
  
I heard a step behind me and turned my head.  
  
“Pierre? Hunny? What’s wrong?” It was Rochelle. She placed her arms around my shoulders. I tried to smile, but failed miserably. Propping my head against my forearms, I shook it slightly. She stroked my hair softly.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
I sniffed.  
  
“You having a good time?” My voice muffled against my arms.  
  
“I was.” She pressed her cheek against my back. “Are you?”  
  
I took a deep breath.  
  
“Not really…Chuck hasn’t shown…” I guess it wouldn’t have been much fun if he did show anyway, him being pissed off at me really wasn’t a good way to make an already dismal event any happier.  
  
“That’s too bad,” Rochelle murmured as she continued running her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes just enjoying the sensation of her touch. Reaching behind me, I took hold of her other hand, stroking my thumb over the back of it.  
  
“Yeah…guess so…” I mumbled, lifting my head slightly. She moved so she could lean her cheek against mine and whispered.  
  
“Maybe you shouldn’t…”  
  
I shook my head in frustration.  
  
“No. I have to do this…you understand that, don’t you?” I waited hopefully. She turned my face so she could look in my eyes.  
  
“ _Oui_ , I understand.”  
  
 _Well…at least that’s something_ …I knew she wasn’t real happy about what I was planning…but she understood. That’s all I asked, really.  
  
“Thanks…” I sighed and swung around so I could wrap my arms around her waist, holding her close. She pressed her cheek against my chest, I propped my chin on top of her head. And we stayed like that for the rest of the night. It was comforting...  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **Sunday September 2nd, 2007  
  
Bouvier Apartment  
  
1 AM**_  
  
I stood in the doorway to the bathroom facing the bed. Rochelle lay there already deeply asleep. She’d literally hit the pillow with her eyes closed. The soft glow from the bathroom light hit her long blonde hair, making it appear to glow. I rubbed the back of my hand across my eyes and made my way over to sit on the edge of the bed. Gripping my knees, I kneaded them slowly for a moment, thinking.  
  
 _Not long now…and then I won’t have to worry about anything…fuck…life will be so much easier after this month is over…_  
  
I scratched my cheek and pushed the covers down on my side, sliding in close to Rochelle’s slumbering form. I placed an arm around her waist. She shifted so her back was pressed against my chest and made a soft smacking sound with her lips. I smiled. She was so fucking cute. I nuzzled into the back of her neck, kissing softly. She murmured in her sleep. Nuzzling more, I felt her react, pressing her little ass into my groin.  
  
 _Shit…now I’m getting hard…but…I don’t wanna wake her…_  
  
I groaned quietly, rolling onto my back and reaching down beneath the sheets to grasp my cock in my hand. Grunting, I tugged at it firmly; sliding my hand up and down, it’s length. I closed my eyes tightly, groaning as softly as I could, not wanting to wake Rochelle. The pressure was building in my balls as I curled my fist around the head, squeezing. I passed the pad of my thumb over the tip then beneath the sensitive spot at the base of the head.  
  
 _Fuck_ …My hips jerked, and then pressed back down against the mattress, as I came, strings of viscous ejaculate spurting from my cock.  
  
“Fuck…” I collapsed back against the pillow, staring up at the ceiling fan, watching as it whirred above me, the air cooling my hot skin. The sweat on my skin drying as my chest heaved from my exertions. I blinked several times then rolled onto my side so I could drape an arm over Rochelle’s waist again, pulling her in close to my body. She snuggled down still without waking, and soon I drifted off, the sweet smell of apples filling my nostrils.  
  
 _ **11 AM**_  
  
“You still don’t fucking get it, do you Chuck? I’m doing this whether you like it or not… Y’know, you can suck my fucking dick for all I care… _Fuck you!_  You couldn’t even show up to the one thing that was important to me. Some fucking friend you turned out to be!”  
  
I pulled my phone away from my ear and hurled it at the wall. It smashed on impact, bits of plastic flying across the hallway. Rochelle poked her head out of the kitchen.  
  
“Pierre?”  
I shook my head angrily, sliding down the opposite wall onto the floor, burying my face in my hands. She walked out and crouched down in front of me, taking my hands in hers, lacing her fingers through mine.  
  
“Pierre, sweetie…”  
  
I trembled. Hot tears of frustration pricked at the corners of my eyes. I’d woken just an hour ago, and, after scrounging around for something to eat; reading the paper; and flicking aimlessly through the channels on TV, decided to call Chuck about last night. The conversation hadn’t started real well, and obviously, it ended pretty badly. Fuckin’ had to go break my phone, eh. It’s all Chuck’s fault…bastard. I grunted and shook my head.  
  
“Fuck, Chelle…he doesn’t fucking get it…”  
  
Rochelle looked at me, then said, “No offence, but I don’t get it, either.”  
  
I met her eyes and frowned, faintly.  
  
“I love you. That’s all you need to get.”  
  
She sighed and moved to sit next to me, leaning her head on my shoulder. I lifted a hand to rub the back of her neck then clasped my hands together, arms draped over my knees.  
  
“Maybe…” Rochelle paused; I cast a sharp look at her.  
  
“Don’t start that again.”  
  
She grimaced. “I wasn’t going to say anything about  _that_.”  
  
I looked away, staring at the opposite wall. She rubbed my left arm gently, tracing her fingertips over the flowers of my tattoo.  
  
“Maybe…we shouldn’t….”  
  
I blinked, still not looking at her. But something tightened in my chest.  
  
“Shouldn’t what?”  
  
Rochelle moved her hand from my arm to my face, nudging slightly.  
  
“Look at me, Pierre.”  
  
I swallowed hard turning my eyes slightly in her direction. Clearly, it wasn’t enough because she gripped my face between both hands and turned my face directly to hers.  
  
“Pierre. Listen to me. Maybe we shouldn’t get married…just yet. Maybe we’re not ready for this. Maybe…” she hesitated staring straight into my eyes; my stomach clenched but I said nothing, just waited.  
  
“Maybe,” she went on voice firm, “we need to take a break from each other. You know I was going to come with you on tour. But perhaps I should stay here. Whilst you sort things out…over there.”  
  
I opened my mouth, then shut it again. There was nothing I could say in response to what she had just said. The reason? Because she was making perfect sense. It wasn’t often I’d admit something like that to anyone…even to myself. I generally don’t like being wrong about stuff. It…gets to me. And this was no exception. I raked my fingers through my hair several times trying to pull my mind together.  
  
“ _Merde_ …do you think so?” This was so sudden. I hadn’t expected her to say something like that. Especially not straight after our engagement party. Odd don’t you think? Still…she was making sense. I waited for her to answer.  
  
Rochelle nodded, emphatically.  
  
“Yes. We need to do this. I think.”  
  
I peeked at her, feeling a little unsure.  
  
“You’re…not breaking up with me, are you?”  
  
She leaned her forehead against mine.  
  
“No. It’s just a little ‘timeout’. It’ll make it better.”  
  
Breathing a little unsteadily, I placed a hand on her cheek.  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“Positive…”  
  
“You’re not leaving me?”  
  
“Never, Pierre.”  
  
“Promise…?”  
  
“Pierre. Look.” I could tell she was beginning to get annoyed with me, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to lose her. She shook her head at me a little. “You need to be able to focus on the band…and whatever else you’re going to be doing.”  _Read: dealing with Marly…_  “Having me there will just be a distraction.”  
  
Sighing, I nodded, stroking her cheek, tenderly.  
  
“You’re probably right…”  
  
She smiled at that.  
  
“I’m definitely right.”  
  
Chuckling, I moulded my lips against hers, kissing slowly. She cradled my face in her hands, murmuring against my lips.  
  
“I’ll always love you, Pierre Bouvier…”  
  
I smiled and continued kissing her, forgetting about everything else, focussing on the woman in front of me.  
  
 _So sweet…and she’s all mine…_  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **3 PM**_  
  
Sunlight streamed through the kitchen window as I sat at the bench trying to fix my phone. Pretty pointless really. It was absolutely smashed up. I had another one anyway, and I’d managed to save the SIM card, so that was okay. Pushing the pieces across the bench, I smeared a hand across my face. The band had an interview in half an hour at some radio station to promote the new single...and talk about the album, but I wasn’t planning on showing. They didn’t need me…Chuck might beg to differ…but they could manage without me for once.  
  
I needed to get my head around a few things before we went to Australia. And I was still stewing over what Rochelle had said this morning, about having a break. It hurt me a little and the thing that hurt the most about it was that she made a lot of sense.  
  
I knew it would take a bit of control on my part to make sure everything ran smoothly when I was in Australia. Juggling my responsibility to the band and to the Guild would be a big task. I knew I could manage but having Rochelle along could complicate issues. I guess she just came up with the best solution. Ideal? Personally, no. But none of this was personal.  
  
Shaking my head at myself, I stood and went into my room. Going to the chest of drawers, I found my other phone and made my way back into the kitchen so I could call the Montreal Guild. I’d promised to keep them posted. I just hoped I didn’t get Jake on the other end of the line. I was in no mood to deal with his objections to what I was doing. Not that he has any authority to change anything.  
  
You remember that Bill I mentioned a couple of months ago? Well, it came into effect a few weeks ago. So, I was all good to go. So, you could say the fact that I’d enlisted Damien’s help...wait. Did I tell you about him? I found his details on a website for the Freo (Fremantle) Guild...he’s a mercenary of sorts...guess I’ve mentioned him before, eh? Actually...I have...anyways. I was saying that enlisting his aid was actually illegal at the time...but now he’s officially on the Guild’s payroll...the Guild here, that is. The Freo Guild doesn’t pay him. He pays them to remain registered. Anyway, what that means in a nutshell, is Jake Angel has nothing to work from. I don’t really need to worry about him.  
  
Yawning, I dialled the Guild’s number, settled at the bench and waited for someone to pick up.  
  
 _ **Local Radio Station  
  
3:30 PM  
  
* Third Person p.o.v. ***_  
  
“So, it’s only you four guys today? Where’s Pierre?”  
  
Jeff, David and Seb glanced at Chuck as he prepared to give the official spiel that he and Pat had worked out to cover for their missing band mate. It had taken a while to flesh out what was going to be said. He was still angry with his best friend, but he also felt that he had to be fair in dealing with any possible backlash. Clearing his throat, he peeked over his glasses at the radio host, expression serious.  
  
“He’s having some time off to spend with his family. He hasn’t seen them in a while. And,” Chuck paused.  
  
“And?” the host prompted.  
  
“He just needed some time...away from the band. This recording process has been our most gruelling yet...and, it kinda got to him.” Chuck scratched his cheek. “But there’s no need to worry. He’ll be back, up and running in no time. He said to me the other day that he couldn’t wait to get back on the road.”  
  
“That’s good to hear...okay, we have some email questions sent in by fans...ready to hear some?”  
  
Chuck nodded, grateful at the change of topic, knowing that he’d only just managed not to give in to his anger and say what he really wanted – the truth.  
  
“Yep. Ready to go, right guys?”  
  
The other three men all answered in the positive, each one grinning broadly.  
  
“Yeah!”  
  
“Bring it on!”  
  
“Let’s get this show going!”  
  
The host chuckled. “All righty then...this one comes from Sandy in Germany...she wants to know when the single will be available for international fans?”  
  
Chuck scratched his jaw and leaned into the microphone, adjusting his headphones.  
  
“Well, that’s decided by the record labels in each of the different countries, we don’t actually have control over that, all we can do is promote it and hope they catch on. Very good question. I do know that when we go to Australia...where we’re headed first on tour, we’ll be releasing the single there.” He glanced at the others. They all nodded. He swallowed clearing his throat. He didn’t like to think about going to Australia. So, he pressed on. “So, that’s all I know, really.”  
  
“Thanks for that, Chuck.” The host scrolled through his laptop screen. “Ok...here’s one...um...this question is actually for Pierre...” He glanced up at the four men. “But, maybe you might be able to answer it.”  
  
David frowned, “Yeah? What’s the question?”  
  
He shifted one ear of his headphones away and scratched at his earlobe. Jeff leaned back in his chair, lips pressed together tightly. Seb scooted his chair closer to the table. Chuck felt his stomach clench. The host sensed the tension ratchet up a notch and smiled inwardly. It was always interesting when there was pressure within a band. He was also curious at the feeling, because Simple Plan was not known for its troubles. He passed his eyes over the email then nodded slightly as he read it out.  
  
“This email is from someone who posts on your number one fan site, simpleplanonline.com. She calls herself...Pierresmypoolboy, and she wants to know...does Pierre have a girl in his life right now?”  
  
The host paused, glancing up at the four men.  
  
“Now, I know you usually don’t like to talk about your personal life and we don’t usually...push the issue...but she adds that she met Pierre’s girlfriend once... Marly, right?”  
  
Chuck had to swallow back the angry retort that he wanted to come out with. The fact was that the radio host had actually met Marly on several occasions and she had indeed been introduced as Pierre’s girlfriend.  _But that was before..._  He shook his head slightly.  
  
“Where’d she say she met her?”  
  
“At one of your gigs. Just briefly, at the Merch stand with Patrick.” The host glanced over to where Pat was leaning against the wall, listening in silence. A small frown creased his brow, but he said nothing. The host turned back to Chuck. “And she was wondering how that was going?”  
  
Chuck shook his head again.  
  
“It’s not. They split...a while ago...Pierre’s...seeing someone else now.”  
  
The host nodded.  
  
“Ah, thanks for clearing that up.”  
  
But the drummer hadn’t finished. The anger he had been feeling was churning inside him and he couldn’t take it any more. Couldn’t hold on to it any longer.  
  
 _Hah. So much for not losing it over Pierre...might as well just say something...not the whole truth...just part of it..._  
  
He tasted bile in the back of his mouth. Just the mere thought of what Pierre had done, and was going to do, made Chuck’s blood boil. The bitter taste of fury overwhelmed him. The venom in his voice was blatantly obvious when the following words left his mouth.  
  
“Actually he was seeing this other chick whilst he was still with Marly. Y’know? Behind her back. And then he practically dumped Marly over the phone and stepped up his relationship with this other chick.”  
  
“Chuck!” David looked stunned. The others drew back reluctant to interfere. Chuck waved a hand dismissively at the bassist as he looked at the host, voice tight.  
  
“You might know of her...Rochelle Perdieu...she used to work as a stripper in town.”  
  
The host blinked. “Yeah...actually I’ve seen her down at the Club a few times...she doesn’t work there anymore, right?”  
  
“No. Not since getting with Pierre.” Chuck took a deep breath, and then spoke directly into the microphone, his tone slightly mocking. “By the way, they’re  _happily_ engaged...sorry girls.”  
  
As soon as he said those words Patrick, who was still standing in the back of the room not wanting to get involved, started waving his arms madly, signalling for them to go off air. The host scowled, nonplussed, but flicked the switch off. Next thing Pat stormed over, grabbed the back of Chuck’s chair pulling it around, and leaned into his face yelling at him furiously.  
  
“What the  _hell_  was  _that?!_  What the  _fuck_  d’ya think you’re  _doing!_ ” He was almost spitting such was his anger. Chuck leaned back hard in his chair as he attempted to get a word in but Pat wouldn’t let him.  
  
“You don’t do that!  _We_  don’t do that. You stupid fucking idiot. What will Pierre think? What if he heard that? You of all people. He fucking trusts you!”  
  
Chuck winced as if he had been slapped. But, Pat still wouldn’t let him speak; he hadn’t finished.  
  
“Fuck. It’s all very well us talking shit like that when it’s just us...but on the fucking radio? You’re mad. You can’t do that. That’s...that’s just low. That’s crossing the line, that is.” Pat ran his hands repeatedly through his hair before going on. “I know you’re pissed at him. Hell, I am too. Majorly fucking pissed. But that doesn’t give any of us the right to sell him out in public. It’s not on, man. That’s just wrong.” He let his breath out harshly. Chuck grimaced.  
  
“You done yet?”  
  
Pat glared at him, shaking his head in frustration.  
  
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m done. Carry on...” He backed off and slumped against the wall staring at the floor. Chuck sighed and slowly swung back to the table, rubbing his hands over his face.  
  
“Shit...I’m sorry about that.”  
  
The host just shook his head and gave a tiny smile.  
  
“It’s okay. Are we good to go back on air?”  
  
“Yeah...sorry. Let’s get on with this.”  
  
The host nodded and flicked the switch.  
  
“And we’re back, with Simple Plan. So, guys you’re going to Australia first. What made you decide to go there first?”  
  
Chuck remained silent allowing the others to answer that question, and to give his mind time to process what Pat had just said to him. The other man was right. He shouldn’t have said any of that, not so everyone in the country could hear. So much for trying to be fair to his best friend. Yet, he had never before felt so angry about something in his entire time of knowing Pierre. He shook his head removed his headphones pushing away from the table a little, watching, and listening to the others.  
  
Sebastien leaned into his microphone.  
  
“The fans there are mad keen on SP and we thought we’d go there first because it’s real nice down there this time of the year. And they’re a lot like us, y’know? Laid back, cool. We want to see how they react to our new songs.”  
  
Jeff agreed. “It’s our favourite place to visit, seriously. I’m not just saying that. It’s totally true.”  
  
“Yeah,” David snorted. “Pierre’ll probably go surfing down there, ‘cause that’s his thing.”  
  
“Oh, and we’ve been invited to the launch of an album of one of the bands down there too. Uh...what’s it called again, Chuck?”  
  
Chuck blinked, dragging himself from his contemplative state.  
  
“The band’s called Eskimo Joe. Should look them up, they’ve been here once to tour. With us and Good Charlotte.”  
  
“Sweet. I think we actually play that band on our show...hmm...is  _Black Fingernails, Red Wine_ , one of theirs?”  
  
Jeff nodded.  
  
“ _Oui._  It is.”  
  
“Sweet, could you get their autographs for me?”  
  
David laughed.  
  
“Sure thing.”  
  
“Okay,” the host smiled. “One last question before we go... ‘Will this be your last album, or are you planning on doing more?’”  
  
Chuck felt a cold tingling at the base of his skull, chills running down his spine. Jeff smoothed a hand over his head. David fidgeted on his chair. Sebastien frowned glancing toward the drummer. Chuck cleared his throat and spoke somewhat tentatively.  
  
“At the moment we’re just concentrating on this new record. What happens in the future...I have no idea. I don’t like to speculate about that. We could be finished tomorrow. Or we could go on forever.”  
  
The host nodded slowly.  
  
“I think the fans will be hoping that it’s the latter.”  
  
Chuck smiled tightly.  
  
“The feeling’s definitely mutual on my part.”  
  
“Well, thankyou very much for taking the time to chat with us.”  
  
The guys all smiled and nodded.  
  
“It’s our pleasure.”  
  
“Good luck, and say hi to the Australian chicks for me.”  
  
Chuck laughed.  
  
“Will do, and thankyou for having us.”  
  
 _ **Comeau Residence  
  
5 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Chuck looked nervous. That was the first thing I noticed when I barged into the basement. Guess that was because of the look on my face. I was fucking pissed. What a fucking nerve. Calling me out like that on the radio. I took a step further in and then I noticed that all the guys were sitting in various places down here and they were all staring at me. I scowled.  
  
“What the hell are you all looking at?”  
  
Pat glared at me.  
  
“Why don’t you just fuck off, Pierre.”  
  
I crossed my arms tightly over my chest.  
  
“I need to talk to Chuck, could  _you_  all piss off?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Fine.” I swung round to face Chuck who, in the meantime, had been trying to edge away from me. “Oi. Don’t be running off.” He halted and cast a wary glance back at the others. I growled low in my throat. He flinched and brought his gaze back to mine.  
  
“What’s the matter, Pierre?”  
  
As if he didn’t fucking know. I rolled my eyes, my tone scathing.  
  
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you went and aired my fucking shit where the fans could hear it.”  
  
Chuck clenched his jaw and spat back angrily --  _he’s got guts doing that_  -- “Jesus, Pierre. It’s not like I told them the whole truth. At least I didn’t say anything about Marly being your slave. And what you were going to be doing when we went to Australia.”  
  
I blinked then sighed heavily, walking over to prop myself against an amp. I suddenly felt deflated, flat. The anger that had been surging through my veins, pumping me up, had all but dissipated. Now I just felt weary. I tilted my head back.  
  
“Yeah...I’ll give you that...”  
  
“You will?” Chuck sounded surprised. Good for him. I glanced resignedly at him.  
  
“Yeah. I guess I should thank you for that.”  
  
He scowled and walked over to sit on the only table in the room.  
  
“I’m still pissed at you.”  
  
I shrugged. “Right back at ya.”  
  
Pat grumbled from the other side of the basement where he was fiddling with his camera – when doesn’t he? – “Yeah, well now if you two are finished...we need to go over everything for the tour.”  
  
Yawning, I nodded to him.  
  
“Hurry it up then. I have to get back home before 7.”  
  
Pat just snorted in my direction and leaned back frowning at the monitor. I rolled my eyes off to the side and braced my palms on the back of the amp, stretching my neck. I noticed David, to my left, had got up and wandered over to Chuck’s drum kit. Setting himself behind the kit he grabbed a pair of sticks and began tapping at the hi-hat.  
  
I watched him silently. He’s actually a good drummer. Better than Chuck in some regards. But he’s the bassist...and Chuck can’t do anything else but drum. That sounds kinda mean saying that, but I’m not being...mean. Just telling it like it is. And anyways, I think he’s a great drummer. Chuck that is. And a good friend. Most of the time.  
  
Hah, now I’m being all depressed. I can’t keep doing this...especially when we go on tour. The more of a downer I go on...the more it shows when we’re playing...and that’s just shit. I can’t do that. The fans’ll hate it. Sure they’ll understand. We have the most understanding fans...but I don’t want to disappoint them. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  
  
 _Just try for some normalcy..._  
  
“Right.”  
  
I looked back over to Pat. He lifted an eyebrow and smirked.  
  
“Right. This is what’s happening. We leave here on the 11th.”  
  
“In nine days,” David interrupted with a grin. I laughed.  
  
“Wow, you can count.”  
  
He shot me the finger. I chuckled. He pouted at me. I let out a full-bellied laugh. _Jeeze...it’s been a while..._ He stared at me then cracked up laughing as well. I pretended to wipe a tear away. Chuck snorted trying not to smile.  
  
“Jeeze...it wasn’t that funny guys...”  
  
I chortled. “Sure it wasn’t. You know you thought so.”  
  
Pat yelled over us.  
  
“Hey! I’m trying to go over this!”  
  
“Sorry.” I leaned back again over the amp stretching my back. “Go on.” Pat glared at me then looked back at the screen.  
  
“We go via TO...Vancouver...Sydney...”  
  
“Sydney?”  
  
“Yeah. Live with it, Bouvier.”  
  
I just shook my head and looked away. Pat groaned.  
  
“Y’know...forget this. We never go over it like this anyway. I’ll send you all the itinerary and if you don’t show up on the 11th...well...you’ll have to get your own shit together.”  
  
I knew that his spiel was really only directed at me. So I gave  _him_  the finger, pushed up off the amp and headed to the steps and out the door. I shot back over my shoulder before exiting:  
  
“Don’t worry. I’ll be there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title/song credit: Eskimo Joe


	19. "So, tell me that I'm wrong..."

_**“So tell me that I'm wrong  
Tell me that there's a consequence  
Or do you still remember me alive  
Beating like a drum...”  
  
Tuesday September 11th, 2007  
  
International Airport  
  
3:30 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Well, here I am. Bags packed. Ready to go. Pat needn’t have worried about me not showing. I was actually the first one to arrive at the airport. An hour before everyone else. It’s kind of quiet here, guess that’s because not a lot of people fly out of here on a Tuesday evening. We’ve got a couple of hours to kill before the flight, so the other guys scattered leaving me to watch all the cabin baggage.  
  
 _Thanks...I really fucking appreciate that..._ Note the sarcasm...anyway, I think at least the flight will be all right. I have a seat by myself away from the others. Guess who made sure of that? And, no, it wasn’t Pat. Which I would have suspected. Chuck is really still...upset about all of this. But, hey...whatever. I’m not going to let that ruin the trip.  
  
At least David’s started talking to me again. It took him a few days. Well, okay, more than a few...he only stopped being totally pissed off at me two days ago. But, he’s more relaxed about everything, and it’s almost gone back to the way it was before -- almost. He’s able to joke around and play pranks on me now -- hah.  
  
It’s still sort of strained, but then again I’m not expecting him to suddenly like me again. After all, I haven’t changed my plans. And just so you know, I’m not going to alter them either. So, if  _you’re_  mad at me, then you might as well stay that way. Okay? Great...not that I’d endorse the notion.  
  
Ugh...I’m talking to people who don’t exist...I must be mad. Rochelle didn’t come to see us off. But that doesn’t matter; we had some nice goodbye sex this morning when we woke up.  
  
 _Mmmm, she’s so fucking sexy..._  
  
“Hey, Bouvier! You hot?” David. Before I could respond, I felt something very cold, and very wet, dropping down the back of my neck. Then a loud high-pitched squeal of laughter echoed around me. I grimaced and twisted to pat my hand at the back of my neck. David plopped down next to me.  
  
“Hey there,” he grinned innocently at me. I smirked.  
  
“Sure, pretend like you didn’t just drop an ice cube down my shirt.”  
  
David chuckled.  
  
“You were sweating like a pig.”  
  
“Smell like one too, I bet.”  
  
I clasped my hands at the back of my head, pushing my cap forward a little. The peak shadowing my face. He let out another peal of laughter. Curling my lip I looked away from him to where the others had just sat, avoiding me at all I costs, I guess. Don’t blame them really. Just glad that David’s still the jokester he always is. He never lets anything get him down for too long.  
  
“Yeah, you sure do.” David bounced then clapped a hand to my shoulder. “Pumped for tour?”  
  
I shrugged.  
  
“Sure. It’s always good to get back on the road...”  
  
“Except we’re not on the road...we’re gonna be on a plane...in the air...don’t you know that?”  
  
He giggled. I kid you not, David giggles like a little girl. It’s cute, on him. It’s just David all over. I smiled broadly.  
  
“Yeh, I didn’t know that. Thanks for clearing that up.”  
  
He pursed his lips.  
  
“Guess this trip’s...gonna be different for you, eh?”  
  
 _And here it is..._  “Yeah, a little...” I glanced warily at him. David lifted his shoulders at me.  
  
“Oh well. Hope that goes well for you.”  
  
There was a hint of sadness in his eyes but otherwise his expression was benign. No real, anger there. I smiled weakly this time. Like I said...there was still tension between us. But, I could accept that. He shrugged again and flopped over my lap.  
  
“Jeeze...get off me.” I pushed him off onto the floor. He looked up at me through his hair and pretended to cry. I laughed and nudged him with my shoe.  
  
“Get up, I didn’t hurt you.”  
  
David laughed out loud in response, and grabbing his water bottle from his bag proceeded to tip the contents all down the front of my shirt. I growled and jumped up, swiping at him, laughing as well. He bolted and I took off after him -- Chuck yelling after us.  
  
“Don’t go too far, will you! Our flight’s gonna be called soon!”  
  
I flipped him off and then followed down the corridor after David’s rapidly dwindling form. We had  _plenty_  of time to kill before take-off, so I wasn’t worrying. Not at all. Just going with the flow, determined to at least enjoy some of this tour. Before it turned sour.  
  
I smirked quietly the last serious thought passing through my mind,  _Heh, one step at a time, Bouvier...one day at a time...that’s the way to do it...definitely._  Before stepping it up and resuming my pursuit of David through the airport terminal.  
  
 _ **On the Flight over  
  
Few hours later**_  
  
You often see strange people on international flights. I used to like playing this game with David where we tried to see who could find the oddest person on the flight. We usually ended up saying it was Chuck...because well...you know what he looks like. People always give him shit about his long face. But, seriously. There was a stoned hippy on one flight...to Paris I think. Anyways...it’s not so fun by yourself...still...  
  
I scanned the cabin silently, absently flipping through the airline magazine. Yeah, not really reading it. Too many thoughts whizzing in my skull. Bouncing around like a ping-pong ball gone insane. My head was actually beginning to ache. Shutting the magazine and tucking it in the seat pocket, I leaned my chair back and closed my eyes.  
  
The next I knew the flight attendant was waking me and telling me to raise my seat -- _Damn_...I must’ve been deadbeat...I slept the whole way...I don’t usually do that -- offering me a complementary bottle of orange juice. I took it with a small smile of thanks, drinking to energise my mind. I glanced further up front where the other guys were sitting; they were all waking up as well.  
  
Shaking hair from my eyes, I stretched and settled back feeling my stomach clench a little, as the plane began its descent.  
  
 _Here goes...almost there...Australia...here I come..._  
  
 _ **Friday September 14th, 2007  
  
Fremantle  
  
Eskimo Joe Album Release  
  
9:30 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Winding down. That was what I was doing, standing here, watching Eskimo Joe perform their new songs live for the very first time. I needed it, y’know? I’d been at uni all day, attempting to finish off an assignment.  
  
Damien hadn’t been much help. He’d sat next to me and tried to touch me up. Tickling me, making me laugh and generally being a nuisance. Sweet, but still a nuisance. I’d suggested maybe he should concentrate on his own assignments. But apparently, he’d finished his early. Clever...  
  
Anyway, watching Kav performing was a real treat. Up close and personal too. There weren’t that many people here, but in a way that was actually good. It felt small and intimate. Guess who’s here though? Yeah, Benji and Joel. In fact, the older Madden twin is standing next to me with his arm draped over my shoulders. I’m grateful that he’s here.  
  
Damien is here somewhere, but he wandered off. Not that I’m bothered by that. It’s nice to just stand here with Benji. Especially since, he really appreciates the music like I do.  
  
“So...” Kav spoke then, I looked toward him, his eyes met mine and he smiled faintly. “This next song is very different from anything we’ve ever done. Um...all I can say really is that we thank the Father in heaven above...and leave it at that. This is the title track:  _Until the Sky Falls_...”  
  
He nodded to Joel who slowly began to tap out the beat. Benji squeezed my shoulders as I closed my eyes, tilting my face upwards slightly. And then Kav began to sing.  
  
 _“Yesterday’s tears and heartache  
Were no match for God’s grace  
The pain and loss were overcome  
Grief had lost the race  
  
Everlasting Saviour  
Your love knows no bounds  
Everlasting Saviour  
My praise for You resounds  
  
I knew I could call to You  
And You would pour Your grace over me  
  
Forever and always  
You will always love me  
Until the sky falls  
Until the sky falls  
  
You will forever love me…”_  
  
I trembled, Benji’s arm tightened around me and he rested his chin on my shoulder and murmured softly in my ear.  
  
“It’s okay, Marlz...”  
  
I turned into his chest and let him bring his other arm around me in a tender embrace. I noticed, from the corner of my eyes, Damien reappear but thankfully, he made no move to interfere. He knew that my relationship with the Maddens were as if we were long-lost siblings. He moved to stand next to us and just rested a hand on the back of my neck, nodded to Benji then sank down to sit on the floor watching the band.  
  
Benji rocked me slowly in time with the music, the flowing guitar chords, and the steady beat of the drums, in sync with the beat of my heart. It seemed to pulse deep inside me, something connected with my inner soul and I felt tears gathering at the corners of my eyes. I sniffed; Benji tilted my face to his.  
  
“Hey...hey...” He wiped the tears away with his thumbs, smiling. I blinked at him then gently pulled away from him to sit next to Damien. He snaked an arm around my waist and held me close. Benji just nodded and patted a hand to his shoulder.  
  
“Look after her, eh?”  
  
Damien smirked up at him then pulled me closer to his side; I leaned my head on his shoulder. As the final chords faded away, there was a sudden commotion at the doorway and I heard a very recognisable voice laughing from the doorway.  
  
“Hey! You gotta let us in! We have a personal invite! Come on, please???”  
  
I turned my head swiftly, as did Damien. There at the door trying to push past security was a slight man with longish black hair...wearing a pair of very tight black jeans and a red button-downed shirt... I blinked then scrambled to my feet.  
  
“David!”  
  
He saw me and practically squealed.  
  
“Marly!!!”  
  
He pushed passed the guys at the door and we almost collided; he seized me around the waist, lifted me off the floor and spun me around -- he’s stronger than he looks...okay.  
  
“Oh my God...Oh my God...Marly!” His eyes lit up like Christmas lights in the City Mall. He hugged me tightly. I giggled.  
  
“Let me breathe, Davo...”  
  
He giggled as well and put me down, pretending to pout.  
  
“Sowwy...”  
  
I just smiled and kissed him on the cheeks, my tears now flowing freely. He did the same thing as Benji had just done earlier, placing his hands gently on my cheeks and brushing them away with his thumbs.  
  
“Marly...it’s okay. I’m here now. I’m here now. No more tears, okay...Marlz...”  
  
I cracked it. Leaning against him, I shook with silent laughter. David blinked at me. Then suddenly he was pulled away.  
  
“Sheesh, don’t hog her...”  
  
I blinked.  
  
“Chuck.”  
  
Warm eyes blinked back at me.  
  
“Hello,” He embraced me gently. I trembled.  
  
He held me for a long moment, rubbing my back. He stepped back gripping my shoulders, taking in my appearance slowly -- I was wearing a pair of dark blue denim jeans, a white long-sleeved top layered over by a blue fitted T-shirt.  
  
“Look at you.”  
  
His mouth curved in a soft smile. I smiled back almost shyly. Then I glanced over his shoulder. Close behind him were Pat, Jeff and Seb. I swallowed passed a lump that had formed in my throat. It was so good to see them all.  
  
Even though I’ve never really talked about my relationship with the other guys in the band, over the last few years I had grown close to them. Obviously close enough to have missed them when I left Canada...enough to feel an overwhelming joy fill me at seeing them standing here.  
  
There was one person missing though. I peered behind Seb. Pierre was not with them, and I realised I felt strangely relieved by that.  
  
I looked back at Chuck who must have seen what I was doing because he shrugged and said softly, “Um...Pierre wasn’t feeling too well...he uh...decided to stay at the hotel.”  
  
I nodded, this time the fleeting smile on my lips revealing my relief. Chuck squeezed my arms then stepped passed to let the others greet me. I let out a shriek as they all rushed me and engulfed me in a group hug. David leaped in to join us, grabbing Chuck at the last moment, pulling him into the huddle.  
  
I laughed then began to cry, sobbing. Pat wrapped an arm round my waist, Jeff spoke softly to me in French, and we just stayed like that, swaying a little. In the background, we could hear the band slowly playing the new song again, the music washing over us.  
  
I trembled, the emotions spilling out from the guys holding me were so intense so...overwhelming. There was desperation in Jeff’s tone as he whispered softly. I looked into his sincere gaze. Then at the others. When my eyes met Chuck’s I detected a deep sorrow there. I swallowed hard and reached out to him.  
  
“Chuck? What’s wrong?” I could feel that something was off. He shook his head at me.  
  
“Nothing, Marlz...it’s...it’s just been difficult not having you around...especially...”  
  
“Especially?”  
  
He shook his head again and muttered.  
  
“This isn’t the time to talk about that...”  
  
I shivered. I knew what he was most likely referring to.  _Pierre and...that other woman..._  I just nodded and carefully disentangled myself from them.  
  
“Come on. You’re here to hear EJ...we can talk later, okay?”  
  
Chuck nodded, and moved to stand near where Benji was. The other man grinned and slapped him on the shoulder, greeting him cordially. I smiled then grabbed David’s hand pulling him over to where Damien was still sitting.  
  
“Hey, Damo...I want you to meet someone.”  
  
He glanced up, then stood and tilted his head a small smirk flickering across his lips.  
  
“G’day...”  
  
David bounced and waggled his fingers.  
  
“Hey, I’m David. And you’re?”  
  
“Damien.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. I frowned a little. David didn’t notice, taking off to go and say hello to Kav and the others. Damien smirked.  
  
“Nice guy.”  
  
I looked at him.  
  
“You barely said a word to him.”  
  
He shrugged. “Plenty of time for that later...you get to know people real well when they’ve had a few to drink.”  
  
I laughed. “Yeah...you going to have a few?”  
  
Damien pulled me into his arms.  
  
“No. But I know you need to.”  
  
I shivered.  
  
“Yeah...especially if...” I didn’t finish that thought. I didn’t need to. I knew that Damien knew what -- who -- I was referring to.  
  
“Don’t worry,” he murmured in my ear, “I’ll keep you busy...you won’t have to worry, even if he does show up.”  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
I tilted my head and met his brilliant green gaze. He squeezed me softly. Then let go. I smiled then walked away from him to join Chuck and David where they were standing near the small makeshift stage area. Kav was leaning on his microphone stand waiting and as soon as I was close, he spoke.  
  
“Right...well we have a few more songs left to play...and then we’re going to crash the clubs downtown...so...this is a revamped version of a song from our third album. Song’s called  _Beating Like a Drum._  Enjoy.”  
  
 _This room is like the belly of a ghost  
Swaying to the rhythm of a heart that is now lost  
So tell me that I'm wrong  
Tell me that there’s a consequence  
Or do you still remember me alive  
Beating like a drum  
  
I had a lot to drink last night  
Now I'm feeling old  
Is there anything that I can buy  
That I have not sold  
So tell me that I'm gone  
From your state of mind  
Do you still remember me alive  
Do you still remember me alive  
Beating like a ...  
  
Drum that beats upon the floor  
A shadow underneath the door  
I don't want to shoot this gun  
But everything just stops  
  
Like the beat of a drum  
  
So tell me that I'm wrong  
Tell me that there's a consequence  
Or do you still remember me alive  
Beating like a drum_  
  
 _ **Saturday September 15th, 2007  
  
Fremantle  
  
Eskimo Joe Album Release  
  
After Party  
  
1:00 AM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
The guys came back by the hotel a couple of hours ago and literally dragged me from the room, insisting I join them for a drink and stop being such an anti-social prick. David’s argument was that I was the ‘party animal’ and I needed to live up to it. So, anyways I’m now sitting here in this bustling Fremantle Club, drinking...  
  
Glancing around I smirked coldly.  
  
 _Busy club...I like this...no one will notice me sitting here like a loner...especially not her, if she’s here...I can’t let her know I’m here - that’d really screw up my plans -_  
  
“Heads up!” Pat’s too jovial voice.  
  
 _Why can’t he go fuck with someone else?_  
  
I looked up from my drink, forcing my mind from my morose thoughts. A double flash hit my retina and everything went white for several long seconds. Waving my hands at Patrick, I groaned.  
  
“Fuck off, Pat!”  
  
He laughed and wandered off. I blinked several times, lights dancing in my eyes.  _Fuck_. I wish Pat wouldn’t use such a bright flash on his camera. He’s going to blind someone one of these days. Not that I should be complaining. The fact that he actually wanted to come near me at all…I should be rejoicing. After a whole…month or a little more than that of not talking to me at all, it has to be an improvement. So, no complaining.  
  
Anyway. We’re here in a bar, drinking, partying, having a good time. Well, at least the others are. I only came because, like I’ve already mentioned, David insisted, told me I couldn’t stay at the hotel and mope around by myself...very antisocial, so I’m just sitting at the bar like a loner, drinking a Jack. They actually have them here in Perth, unbelievably.  
  
Eskimo Joe is having their after party here and Chuck finally called them to tell them we’d be here. The others went to the album launch -- that’s where the guys were before they came and forced me out.  
  
The launch was fucking cool, apparently. I’m betting they’ll sell a lot. I told Chuck to tell them when he saw them at the launch that I thought they should release in Canada. I’m avoiding talking to them personally, because I know they’re not particularly happy with me, either.  
  
I know that Kav, at least, knows I’ve upset Marly somehow…she’s here tonight as well, just seen her a moment ago. She hasn’t seen me because I’ve been keeping a low profile. But I’ve seen her. And Damien. They’ve been cosying up to each other all night.  
  
 _Heh. I’d pay to see the look on her face when Damien gives her up to me…_ I snorted to myself. Wait, I  _am_  going to be paying for that…  
  
There they are again... Damien had just lead Marly out on the dance floor. They stood close together swaying to the music. I watched her silently. Her long black hair was out, moving down the length of her back. Her face was flushed.  
  
I’d seen Damien plying her with alcohol the entire time we were here. I also noted that he’d slipped a little something in the last drink he’d bought for her -- he’d mentioned in his last message to me that he would drug her to make it easier to transport her. She’d obviously only just finished it when he steered her into my vision. Whatever he’d put in her drink hadn’t taken effect just yet.  
  
Marly looked hot. And I don’t just mean because she’d been exerting a lot of energy. I mean that she looked...wow. She was wearing a pair of dark blue denim jeans and a tight black top...very hot. But you know, I was only thinking that on a physical level. I don’t love her. Those feelings are reserved for the woman waiting for me back home in Montreal... I blinked.  
  
 _Focus, Bouvier..._  
  
Still, she looked pretty damn fuckable, all right. Shifting on the stool, I growled low in my throat. Damien was standing very close to her, his hips rubbing against hers as they danced and for some reason that pissed me off. I guess I felt that way because legally she still belonged to me. She was my property and I didn’t like the thought of someone else touching her. Yet, I had to force myself to stay put. I couldn’t interfere. Damien had promised to deliver. And I knew I could trust him to do his job.  
  
 _Fuck this...I hate waiting..._  
  
David plopped down beside me having suddenly appeared from nowhere. He almost spilled his beer all over me in the process. I smirked at him.  
  
“Jeeze...save some for your mouth, Desrosiers.”  
  
He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Funny. Whatcha doing?”  
  
I shrugged and looked back at the dance floor. They were still there. David followed my gaze and his expression sobered, darkening.  
  
“You going to talk to her?”  
  
I shook my head. He glowered at me.  
  
“Not even a hello?”  
  
“Not even.”  
  
He screwed up his face.  
  
“She know you’re here?”  
  
I shook my head again.  
  
“Don’t tell her.”  
  
David tilted his head at me, bemused.  
  
“Don’t tell her?”  
  
“Yeah,” I snapped, pushing away from the bar. “I’m not here, right.”  
  
He opened his mouth to protest. I waved my hand dismissively at him as I pulled out a pack of smokes and headed for the exit.  
  
“I’m going for a walk...see ya back at the hotel...”  
  
As I walked away, I heard him yell after me, more than a hint of anger in his voice.  
  
“I hope you get run over by a fucking bus, Bouvier!”  
  
 _Heh...I love you too, David..._  
  
As I began to walk out, I noticed that Marly was no longer dancing with Damien. Stu, the guitarist from Eskimo Joe, had pulled her away from him, and he’d let him. Confident prick. I stopped at the entrance and watched as Stu steered her back onto the dance floor and, because it was a slow song, held her close. She looked happy, laughter shining in her eyes as she moved with him.  
  
 _Not for much longer...too bad, that happiness won’t last..._  
  
I breathed deeply standing in the open doorway fumbling for a light as I lit a cigarette. Holding it up to my mouth, I took a long drag allowing the smoke to fill my lungs. I then blew out in a large stream of smoke.  
  
The bouncer raised his eyebrows at me; I held the pack out to him. He smirked and took a smoke with a nod of thanks. I turned back to the dance floor. Damien was hovering close by and noticed me. He gave a barely perceptible nod of his head, glancing down at the watch on his wrist, tapping it slightly. I tilted my head at him in acknowledgement then swung around and walked out of the club.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Streetlights cast a garish glow over the sidewalk as I made my way into the centre of town. Cigarette clenched between my teeth, I watched absently as the smoke curled up into the air and blew across my face. Grimacing, I took it between my fingers and ground the glowing end against the wall of one of the shop front walls.  
  
Glancing in the window of a clothes store -- it was shut -- I examined my reflection. Mussed up hair, stubble across my jaw, eyes dark...cold. I shivered a little and continued walking.  
  
Sticking the smoke back between my lips, I sucked on it as I stood on the kerb and leaned out to see if anything was coming. Nothing -- of course -- it was real early in the morning. Not that I was tired or anything. I was too pumped for that. I had all this nervous energy bottled up inside me. Heh, you’d be jumpy too if you were about to take somebody’s life.  
  
Checking once more, I stepped out onto the street, smirking slightly as I crossed to the other side, safely --  _hah...no buses to run me over..._  I kept moving, a cool breeze springing up.  
  
Folding my arms, I peered ahead. The large red brick of the Fremantle Guild was looming out of the shadows. Lengthening my strides, I made for the gates leading onto the Guild premises and entered quickly searching for a place to wait.  
  
Chewing on the end of my smoke, I skirted the fence noticing a small alcove with a bench and a table. Making my way over, I sank down on the bench and leaned my folded arms on the table, propping my chin on them and closing my eyes.  
  
 _Nap time...I’ll need all the energy I can get..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title/song credit: Eskimo Joe


	20. "A shadow underneath the door."

_**“Drum that beats upon the floor  
A shadow underneath the door...but everything just stops  
Like the beat of a drum...”  
  
Fremantle  
  
2:00 AM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
My head was aching; it took me several tries before I could drag my eyelids apart, only to find myself in pitch-blackness. I was conscious of the sound of an engine, a low roar that pounded against my skull.  
  
 _Where am I?_  I tried to move, realising seconds later that my wrists were cuffed to a metal bar that ran along the sidewall of the moving vehicle.  _What the hell?_  I groaned letting my head fall back against what had to be a blacked out window, as memories of what had passed came flooding back. The party…Damien buying me drinks like there was no tomorrow...us dancing...more drinking...Stu and I dancing…then Damien leading me away, giving me another drink…I’d gotten dizzy…passed out…  
  
I began to sob. And as tears slipped down my face I could hear Benji’s voice in my head, those words he had spoken months earlier; soft ominous, tinged with anxiety.  
  
 _I don’t trust that guy…neither should you…he’s not good people…_  
  
I should have listened to him, but in my naivety I hadn’t and now look where I was.  
  
I sniffed, letting my chin drop to my chest despair gripping my heart. What was going to happen to me? I had no idea and the only thought that I had was that I wished Pierre were here. I knew that was an odd thought to be having seeing that he probably didn’t even care. But the thing was that he was someone I knew…and I guess I still didn’t want to think the worst of my former…master.  
  
The engine shifted into a lower gear and then the vehicle came to a stop. The sound of the door being wrenched open caught my attention and suddenly the light of a torch blinded me. Wincing, I cringed back against the wall as someone climbed in next to me. A hand closed around my throat and a voice murmured in my ear, low, threatening.  
  
“I’m going to uncuff you, don’t think of running.” It was Damien. I whimpered, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.  
  
“Damien…?”  
  
“Hush.” His fingers tightened on my neck; I fell quiet, breathing hard. He relaxed his grip and moved his hands to unlock the cuffs. I pulled them away from him fast and rubbed at my wrists. He scowled but said nothing, giving me a few minutes to assess my surroundings. By the light of the torch, I could see I was in the back of a van that had seats against the sidewalls. I was sitting on the one opposite the door. The windows, as I had guessed, were blacked out so no one could see in, and obviously so I couldn’t see out. The glow of the torch was not enough for me to see outside the van.  
  
I looked back at Damien, squinting. His emerald eyes seemed to shine, penetrating the gloom, the torchlight reflecting in his grim gaze. I swallowed, hard. His whole demeanour had changed. It was as if he were a totally different person. You know, like Jekyll and Hyde...heh, no guessing who he was right now... He moved to take me by the arm. I pulled away again.  
  
“Don’t do that. I have to get you out of here.”  
  
I shook my head and wiped the back of my hand across my eyes.  
  
“Where are we?” I vaguely remembered the conversation we’d had with Paul at church that one time and thought bitterly,  _Heh…not on a plane to Canada, that’s for sure…_  
  
Damien didn’t reply, just grabbed me by the left arm and hauled me out of the van. It was dark and the clouds in the sky cast shadows across the ground. Visibility was low, I could not see farther than several feet in front of me. Damien’s torch was the only source of available light and outside it was much dimmer than when he had shone it in my face.  
  
I stumbled as he pulled me from the van; he caught me around the waist before I fell. I managed to pull away from him and make a break for it. I got several feet when someone seized me from behind. It wasn’t Damien, yet the strong arms wrapped firmly around my waist felt familiar. The lean, muscular body holding me up was one I knew very well. I trembled, an involuntary groan escaping from my parted lips. Then I tried to pull away again. Warm breath blew across my ear and a voice spoke suddenly, in a deep rumble, causing my throat to tighten and the world around me to spin.  
  
“I wouldn’t try that, Sweet Pea.”  
  
 _Sweet Pea…? Pierre?_  For a split second, I froze, thoughts swirling haphazardly through my mind –  _it couldn’t be…he couldn’t be here…what is he doing here…why is he here? I mean I know he’s here with the band on tour...but why is he here, here? -_  And then I tried to twist in his arms. His grip tightened, steel bands around my waist.  
  
“Don’t, little one.” His tone was sterner than I’d ever heard it, and that scared me. I went limp in his arms. He growled and changed his grip, hauling me back to the front of the van and pinning me face down against the hood. I whimpered, tears welling at the corners of my eyes.  
  
“Pierre…” my voice cracked. I had no idea what was going on. Confusion clouded my senses. Though, there was one thing I was certain of: I knew without a shadow of doubt that it was indeed Pierre behind me. His hands were at my waist; steady, strong, familiar, holding me against the cool metal of the vehicle.  
  
“Pierre…?” I repeated desperately. There were so many questions that I wanted to ask. But I only voiced one of them. “What…what are you doing…?”  
  
He didn’t respond, completely ignoring my question. Instead, he shifted his weight so he could lean one arm across both of mine, pinning them down to the hood of the van. As he held them, I felt a silken cord being bound around my wrists. I let out a strangled sob.  
  
“No…don’t…” I started to struggle. Pierre pushed all of his weight against me as I writhed feebly.  
  
“Stop it, Marly. Stop it.” His voice was hard, the threat of punishment implicit in his command. Even after several years of not hearing that tone in his voice -- and then only rarely if I ever did -- I remembered and understood what it meant. I stilled, trembling beneath him, as Damien finished securing my wrists. Tears escaped the corners of my eyes and trickled down my cheeks. I swear I could hear the soft ‘pings’ as they hit the van’s hood. Then I heard Damien’s voice as he stepped away.  
  
“She’s all yours, Bouvier.”  
  
“Thanks, I owe you big time.” Pierre’s deep voice, so close to my ear, sent chills down my spine. Laughter as Damien replied.  
  
“Heh, let me fuck her and I’ll be happy.”  
  
Silence. Then:  
  
“Really? That’d be enough payment?”  
  
“Yeah. You mind?”  
  
Pierre went quiet, then leaned down, his mouth close to my ear. His warm breath made the hairs on the back of my neck raise and I moaned involuntarily.  
  
“What do you think, little one? Should I let him fuck you?”  
  
“No…no…please…no…” I cried, weakly. Why was he doing this to me? I couldn’t understand why Pierre was doing this. A vague part of my mind was ruthlessly reminding me that I was still a slave -- his slave; that I had never been free, that he had every right, but at the forefront of my mind was the notion that it wasn’t true, and that Pierre would never do this. Not ever. He couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right. And anyway, he had never let anyone else touch me before. He had made a point of not allowing others to touch me. Pierre nuzzled against the back of my neck. Then he whispered coldly, his lips brushing against the pulse at the side of my neck.  
  
“I think I should.”  
  
Sobbing, I twisted helplessly under him.  
  
“Please…no…” I continued to fight until Pierre reached up and grabbed my right elbow, digging his thumb into the pressure point at the joint. I screamed, a stab of pain shooting up my arm. Then, slumping against the hood I cried, my breath catching in the back of my throat. He growled against my neck.  
  
“You don’t get to choose.”  
  
Pierre flipped me onto my back; I stared up into his face. My eyes adjusted to the lack of light until I could see the outline of his body silhouetted against the night sky. There was tension in every line of his large frame. A chill ran down my spine.  
  
“Pierre…?”  
  
“Shhh.” Pierre pulled me to my feet and began to steer me toward a small door in the side of the building. Funny that I hadn’t noticed it before. The building that is. It was a huge redbrick building, probably stood out a mile away. Guess my eyes just weren’t that good in the dark. He kept a strong grip on my tied wrists as he pushed open the door and led me inside.  
  
Once the door locked behind us, Pierre released his hold and walked ahead of me to what looked vaguely like a security desk. I was squinting against the sudden glare of ceiling lights and wasn’t certain. Sniffling, rubbing at my eyes with my hands, I then fixed my gaze on Pierre. As my eyes corrected themselves in the light, I could see him clearly and the sight, as always, took my breath away.  
  
Pierre leaned against the desk speaking softly with the night guard. His right hand rested against the surface of the counter. His left was digging in his back pocket. And my eyes were drawn instantly to the tattoo that covered the entire length of his left arm. I’d seen it before in photos on the net but seeing it in person was a totally different experience. I don’t know what it was but something about it sent tingles racing down my spine, and my heart leapt into my mouth. I forced my gaze away, breathing hard then I looked back at him. He was now handing the night guard some money, chatting away amicably.  
  
Whilst he conversed, I took the chance to look at the rest of him. He was wearing a really green T-shirt…I hadn’t seen him in green ever…well not in real green. His dark blue denim jeans sat low on his hips as was his usual style and his feet were covered by his favourite black Converse’s. Pierre brushed a hand through his stylishly messed hair. Dark strands falling across the profile of his face. He appeared relaxed, completely comfortable with what he was doing. And that was definitely cause for alarm.  
  
In complete contrast to the feelings I’d had whilst cuffed in the back of the van, I now wished fervently that Pierre were not here. That he had remained in Canada as far away as possible. Something awful was going to happen, I had this feeling in my gut. I knew something was going to happen. And he was going to have a part in it. And you know the worst thing about this situation? Deep down I knew I still loved him and that I wanted to believe that he still cared for me. Even though I knew, he had never loved me…and that he now loved some other woman. I was holding out hope that whatever happened I would come through it in one piece…that I would survive. That everything would eventually be okay. That was my one and only prayer.  
  
Swaying a little on my feet, I realised that I was extremely exhausted. I needed to sleep. But I guess I wasn’t going to get to do that anytime soon. Pierre had finished talking with the night guard and turned to walk back to me. His brow was furrowed, thoughts flickering behind his dark eyes. I swallowed hard and looked down at the floor, unable to meet his stern gaze. He caught hold of my left arm, at the elbow, and began to walk me past the security desk and into a corridor that appeared to head into the main part of the building.  
  
As we walked down the hall I saw doors, lots of them, lining the corridor. There was something very cold, almost clinical about the place and that was unnerving. There was something strangely familiar about the place as well, even though I knew I’d never set foot in this building in my whole time of being here in Australia. After awhile we passed a long stretch of wall that was covered by a banner of some kind. I only just caught the words printed across it:  
  
 **FREMANTLE GUILD OF DOMS AND SUBS – LEADING THE WAY IN W.A.**  
  
A tremor raced through my body and I halted, pulling against Pierre’s hand. He turned and stared coldly at me.  
  
“Don’t do that.”  
  
I shook my head.  
  
“No. Pierre. Let go.” I tried to pull my arm from his grip. I wanted to get out of here. He tightened his hold, digging his thumb into the tender spot at the elbow. I whimpered. He made to keep walking; I dragged back against him.  
  
“Pierre…don’t do this…please…”  _Whatever you’re doing…don’t do it…_  
  
I had no idea what was going to happen, but whatever it was couldn’t be good for me and I definitely didn’t want it to happen. I strained against his hold. Pierre growled and pushed me against the wall. Leaning close, his mouth inches from my face he whispered harshly.  
  
“Listen to me. Stop fighting me or I will hurt you. Do you understand?”  
  
Tears streamed from my eyes and I sobbed.  
  
“Why…why are you doing this…?” I stared up into his dark eyes, and what I saw there terrified me. They were so cold, so devoid of emotion. And his face. It was hard, inscrutable. My breath caught in my throat and I moaned. “Pierre…” I stifled a desperate sob, and dropped my chin against my chest, fat tears rolling down my face. He didn’t respond, just hauled me away from the wall and forced me to walk in front of him.  
  
I stumbled along ahead of him, not really able to watch where I was going due to the tears blurring my vision. Luckily, Pierre was holding on to my arm and steering me, otherwise I probably would have walked straight into the wall. Instead, he managed to turn me around a corner and bring me to a stop outside another of the many doors. I kept my eyes lowered so I only heard the rustle of his hand digging in his pocket, and then the sound of a key turning in the lock. Then he pushed the door open and led me into the room beyond.  
  
 _ **2:15 AM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
She was trembling. And the tears. There were so many fucking tears; I didn’t know someone could cry so many tears in one go. I had no idea how to deal with that. So, I didn’t. I pushed her down onto the small single bed in the centre of the room.  
  
“Stay there.” I ordered softly. Not that it was really necessary. Marly sat frozen on the edge of the bed, bound hands lying in her lap as she sobbed quietly.  
  
 _Fuck, I can’t deal with this right now._  
  
I walked out the door, shutting it behind me leaving her alone in there. Leaning my back against the door I let out a long sigh. God alone knew what was going through her mind right now. And frankly, I didn’t give a shit. At least that was what my brain was telling me, my heart on the other hand…  
  
Shaking my head, I palmed my face, rubbing furiously. I couldn’t afford to think like that. I had to pull myself together before going back in there. I couldn’t let any sign of weakness show; otherwise, she might cling onto that as some form of hope. There was no way I could give her any hope. That’d be cruel. The fact I was even doing this was bad enough without giving her a false sense of security.  
  
I heard footsteps approaching down the corridor and turned my head to look. It was Damien.  
  
“Hey,” he jerked his chin at me as he came to a stop several feet from where I stood. I nodded.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“She in there?”  
  
“Uhuh.”  
  
Damien rubbed his jaw.  
  
“So. Uh. Y’know what I said before.”  
  
I cocked an eyebrow.  
  
“About fucking her?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Yeah, what about it?”  
  
He shook his head.  
  
“I was joshing you.”  
  
I smirked. “Figures. I wouldn’t have let you anyway.”  
  
He grimaced and moved to prop his back against the wall, facing me.  
  
“Now that you’re here…and she’s here…what’re you gonna do?”  
  
Narrowing my gaze on his face, I growled.  
  
“You don’t know?”  
  
He shook his head. That surprised me. I thought they would’ve told him. Scratching my left arm, I thought for a moment. His eyes followed my movement.  
  
“Love the ink.”  
  
I glanced down then looked at him.  
  
“Thanks.” I turned my arm so he could see it better. He leaned close.  
  
“Does it mean anything?”  
  
I nodded.  
  
“The Koi Carp stands for strength and perseverance in times of adversity; the Buddha is there because I believe in karma…y’know…if you’re a good person in this life…you’ll have a good life in the next.”  
  
Damien grinned. “What about the flowers?”  
  
I rolled my eyes.  
  
“I like them.” He snorted.  
  
Pressing my lips together, I turned to place my hand on the doorknob.  
  
“Look, I have to get on with this…” I looked at him. “Thanks for this.”  
  
Damien shrugged.  
  
“Hah. No thanks needed. I’ll fax you the bill.” Then he stared hard at me. “But before I go…tell me, what are you gonna do to her?”  
  
Breathing hard, I met his gaze steadily.  
  
“She’s going to die, Damien.” I watched his face. He blinked, and then sighed, no obvious signs of surprise in his expression. But then I guess in his line of work stuff like this happens a lot. Either that or he was very good at hiding his shock. Either way he was professional enough not to make a big deal of it. He smirked faintly.  
  
“Good luck with that…” He held out his hand, I looked at it then grasped it shaking firmly.  
  
“Good doing business with you.”  
  
Damien nodded, releasing my hand and walking away. I wouldn’t be seeing him again, and neither would Marly. I turned and opened the door stepping back into the room.  
  
Marly hadn’t moved; she was still seated on the edge of the bed where I’d left her; but her eyes followed me into the room. They were red rimmed, wary; tear tracks evident on either side of her nostrils. I moved to stand in front of her, looking down into her pale face. She avoided meeting my gaze choosing instead to stare at my shoes. I moved closer and placed a hand on her cheek.  
  
“Marly.”  
  
She lifted her eyes to mine, tears leaked from the corners and slid over the curves of her cheeks.  
  
“Pierre…” Her voice hitched on my name. My heart twisted. I clenched my jaw, steeling my heart; then I took a deep yet steadying breath before saying anything.  
  
“I guess you’re wondering what’s going on here.”  
  
She nodded cautiously. I sighed and moved to sit next to her. Placing a hand on her thigh, I rubbed gently. She trembled, shifting her leg away. I looked at her.  
  
“Damien didn’t tell you anything?”  
  
Marly shook her head, swallowed hard and looked down at the floor again, muttering.  
  
“How…how does he know you?”  
  
I tilted my head.  
  
“Through the Guild back home in Montreal.” She trembled again and lifted her tied hands holding them over her face, muffling her voice.  
  
“He…he works for the Guild?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
She dropped her hands and looked directly at me. Her pupils were dilated, she was afraid. I just waited.  
  
“What…what’s going to happen to me?”  
  
I stalled. Standing I crossed to the window and looked out at the stars that winked back at me.  
  
“Pierre?” I could hear the apprehension in her tone. I took several long hard breaths, preparing myself before turning and walking back to kneel in front of her. I grasped her hands in mine and looked deep into her frightened eyes.  
  
“Listen to me, Marly. You know how I feel about you, don’t you.”  
  
She sobbed.  
  
“You…you never loved me…” The heartbreak in her expression was blatantly obvious. I hardened my heart against it. Her hands shook in mine. “You…you said you never loved me…and that I was still a slave…” Her voice trailed off as she wept.  
  
I waited for her to calm down before I said, “That’s true.”  
  
She tried to jerk her hands from mine but I tightened my grip; she winced.  
  
“That’s true,” I repeated quietly. “You’re still my property.” I leaned down to look into her eyes. “Do you understand what that means?”  
  
She shook her head slightly and dropped her gaze again. I followed it this time; she was staring at my tattoo. I watched as her eyes slowly moved over the pictures. Her tongue darted out, wet, pink, licking across her dry lips. I remained silent just observing her. Eventually she lifted her eyes to mine. Her bottom lip quivered then firmed as she came to a decision to say something to me.  
  
“When did you get that? I know you’ve had it since at least late August.”  
  
Normal conversation, she wanted that, obviously to calm her agitated nerves. I’d give her that. Looking down at the art, I smirked faintly.  
  
“I’ve actually had it since May.”  
  
“Oh…” Marly frowned, then looked at her bound wrists. “Could…could you untie me?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Please…Pierre…I have no idea where I am…there’s no way I’m going to be able to leave here…so…why not untie me?”  
  
I tilted my head.  
  
“What gives you the impression you won’t be leaving here?”  
  
She met my quizzical glance head-on.  
  
“What you said, just before. About me still belonging to you. Y’know when you asked whether I understood what that meant…it. It obviously means I’m stuck here.”  
  
“Of course.” I rubbed my jaw. “You won’t try to get out?”  
  
Marly lowered her eyes.  
  
“I’m…I’m not stupid, Pierre…I know…I know you’ll stop me.”  
  
I sighed, relenting.  
  
“Give me your hands.” She trembled then placed her hands in mine. I gave them a light squeeze then proceeded to undo the ties. Once I’d pulled them away and dropped them on the bed, I took her wrists in my hands and massaged them gently. Her breath hitched in her throat and I saw more tears rolling down her face.  
  
“Pierre…”  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
She looked into my eyes.  
  
“You still haven’t told me what’s going to happen…”  
  
 _Here we go…time to bite the bullet and get down to the business end of things…_ I breathed deep and maintained my hold on her wrists. Firm yet gentle.  
  
“I want you to understand that this is  _not_  personal, little one.” I wet my lips before continuing, watching her expression. “Tell me, do you remember that you were going to die three years ago?” Marly stared incomprehendingly at me, but she nodded slowly.  
  
“Yes…I remember…” she whispered. She looked at my hands and said, voice shaking, “But, that…was a mistake right…it should never have happened. Right? The Guild just reacted to Chuck’s assertion about our relationship…”  
  
I shook my head slowly.  
  
“No, Marly.”  
  
Her eyes lifted to mine, startled.  
  
“No?”  
  
Steadily I met her gaze.  
  
“They had the right of it.”  
  
“No. Pierre…you saved me…remember…”  
  
I shook my head again.  
  
“No. Jake did.”  
  
Marly blinked and bowed her head.  
  
“Then…then shouldn’t we maybe talk to him…clear things up?”  
  
I sighed. “Marly, Jake knows what’s going to happen here. I’ve already talked with him.”  
  
Her head came up fast and she actually glared at me.  
  
“Then why don’t you just fucking tell me what’s going to happen, Pierre?”  
  
I released her hands and stood taking a step back, slightly surprised by the venom in her tone. I’d never heard her swear like that before. I guess I had to have had some influence on the way she was. Guess she was tense as well.  
  
I tilted my head back and raked my hands through my hair. I couldn’t take much more of this. I had to get out…grab a drink, go to sleep -  _fuck; it was almost 3 in the morning._ But before I did, I knew I had to tell her what was going to happen to her. There was no time for bullshitting, or edging around the issue. I had to tell her straight out. Get right to the point. In the end, it was the only fair thing I could do for her. I turned to look down into her face.  
  
 _Here it is…_  
  
“I’m going to kill you.”  
  
I was conscious that my voice was as cold as I could manage, all trace of emotion forced out of it. Marly’s eyes widened at my words. She opened her mouth as if to speak but I could tell that she had no words prepared. At least not, for what I’d just said. Perhaps she’d had a comeback for any other possible scenario, but not this. All that came out was a strangled whimper. She stared up at me shock and fear swirling in her eyes. Then her chin dropped against her chest and she seemed to crumple into herself. Small sobs shook her and then she slowly slid off the edge of the bed into a heap on the floor.  
  
“No…” She moaned, trembling. “No…please…”  
  
I stared down at her then turned and crossed to the door. Placing a hand on the doorhandle, I looked back at her. Marly was looking up toward me, tears streaked down her face. I waited for a moment. She sniffed and wiped the back of her hand across her wet cheeks.  
  
“Why?” She finally asked, her voice shaking violently. “Why are you doing this?”  
  
I just shook my head at her and walked out of the room locking the door behind me. Even through the closed door, I heard her calling out after me, desperation evident in her tone.  
  
“Pierre…come back…please…. I don’t understand…”  
  
I snorted to myself as I began to walk away.  _You’ll understand soon enough…_  Heading back along the hallway, I stretched my arms. Plenty of time to think about all that later. It was time to crash for the night.  
  
 _ **Fremantle Guild HQ  
  
10 AM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
There was a window seat beneath the window -- obviously -- and I sat curled in a blanket staring out at the cloudy sky. I was attempting not to think about what Pierre had said to me, but his final words to me before he had left -- God...what words -- they rang in my ears like a death knell.  
  
 _I’m going to kill you..._  
  
I pinched the skin at he crook of my elbow, hard. It hurt. Tears sprang to my eyes. I brushed them away angrily. It couldn’t be real. This had to be a dream. I was going to wake up back home in Montreal...back in our apartment...none of this would ever have happened. We would never have been separated...that other chick...she didn’t exist...and.... And Pierre still loved me. Because...because God alone knows I still love him...  
  
I trembled, my chest felt tight and more tears formed at the corners of my eyes. I didn’t bother wiping them away allowing them to spill over and down my face. If only that were true... _if only..._  
  
Leaning my head against the window, I stared out into what looked like a small courtyard of some kind. There was a bench and a small wattle tree right in the centre. There was a Magpie sitting in the branches of the tree, warbling away. I sniffed, remembering the birds in Kav and Sheri’s front yard. My breath caught in the back of my throat at the thought of them. They had been so good to me...and I’d never even got to say goodbye...never got to say goodbye to any of them...  
  
Hah. As if I’d known this was going to happen. If I’d known... _no -- speculating about that won’t change anything..._  And Damien...oh God...Damien. He’d...betrayed me. That was so unbelievable...so sudden...no warning at all...but now I could see why Benji hadn’t trusted him. I’d been so blind, so determined that he would make everything better for me. I had never even suspected that his motives for being with me were less than honourable. How was I to know? I was vulnerable...and I guess because I had been so down over Pierre...I was completely susceptible to any tender overtures.  
  
I used to be so in tune with everybody’s personality -- their attitude, their wants and needs, their motivations -- but perhaps my grief in being separated from Pierre...and then my life being turned upside down...had clouded my better judgement. And now here I was in a place I had never expected to be waiting...waiting to....  
  
A strangled sobbing filled my ears and it took several moments for me to realise that I was the one making the sound. Pulling my knees up tighter into my body, wrapping my arms around them, I rocked slowly as I cried. Closing my eyes, I just moved until I felt myself drifting off. I was exhausted; since he had left hours earlier, I had not been able to fall asleep, too many thoughts racing through my mind. And my life -- you know how they say before you die your life flashes across your eyes? -- Well it’s happening to me now, but in slow motion.  
  
Images of my life as Pierre’s slave and then his...girlfriend...all the good times we’d had together...they all passed slowly. Taunting me. And one particular memory flashed through my mind repeatedly, an extremely happy memory that I tried to grasp a hold of...clinging to anything that would make my heart ache less...I squeezed my eyes shut tightly...and it floated into my mind...and I immersed myself in it...blocking out all negative thought...  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
 _ **Flashback  
  
Tuesday October 11th, 2005**_  
  
 _Pierre slid his arms around my waist and nuzzled into my hair.  
  
“Guess what, Sweet Pea?”  
  
I looked up into his tender brown eyes.  
  
“What, Master?”  
  
He chuckled and kissed me softly on the cheek, stroking my hips.  
  
“Well...you don’t have to call me that anymore...”  
  
I blinked and turned in his hold.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Pierre’s smile broadened, his eyes sparkling. He steered me over to the kitchen bench and I saw what looked like an official certificate of some kind. He leaned over and picked it up holding it so I could see. I gasped and held my hands to my mouth.  
  
“No...you’re serious?” Looking up into his face, I could feel tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. “I...I’m free?”  
  
Pierre nodded slowly. “Yes. I thought it might be a nice present, eh?”  
  
I trembled. “Oh God...Pierre...” I burst into tears my emotions overwhelming me. He wrapped his arms gently around me and just held me. I clung to him, tremors racing through my body. Sniffling I wiped at my face and laughed a little. “You’d think I was upset...but...but I’m just so happy...I can’t stop...”  
  
Pierre tilted my face to his. “It’s okay...this is all a bit much isn’t it, little one?”  
  
I nodded. He drew back a little and, taking me by the arm, lead me into the bedroom and motioned for me to take a seat on the bed. I sat, automatically tucking my feet beneath my bottom. Pierre chuckled and stood close, laying a hand softly against my left cheek. He leaned down as I tilted my face up and his mouth closed over mine in the most tender of kisses...  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~_  
  
I snapped out of the memory at the sound of footsteps in the corridor outside my cell. I wouldn’t call it a room. It was indeed a cell...there was only a bed, a sink and a toilet. And the window -- the one I was looking out of -- had a very strong security screen. Obviously, the door leading out was locked. Pierre had made sure of that when he left. Huddling in the blankets, I stared toward the door, body tense. The footsteps faded away --  _false alarm..._  
  
Wiping the back of my hand across my face, I shivered. I could hardly believe that barely hours earlier I had been having fun...and revelling in the joyful atmosphere of a night out on the town. Surrounded by people who cared about me, and who were also having a good time. And then I was torn abruptly from that and thrust into a waking nightmare.  
  
 _God_...I trembled.  _Oh God..._  I shut my eyes tight and began to pray. Because, that was all I could do: pray and hope.


	21. "Break apart her heart..."

_**Fremantle  
  
Same Day Noon  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
 _Salad and mayo sandwich. Good stuff._  
  
I shoved the last piece in my mouth as I made my way back to the Guild. I’d been back to the hotel to grab a quick sleep and a clean change of clothes -- my other clothes stank of sweat and smoke. Then after checking in with the Guild back home -- letting them know I was right on schedule -- I made my way back, grabbing a bite to eat on the way.  
  
Luckily, I hadn’t bumped into the rest of the band; they were still off doing interviews with the local radio stations. They’d been out since 8. I’d excused myself...again. Anyways, I had a hunch that once I’d completed what I was actually here in Perth to do...they would probably not even want me to come back...but I wasn’t going to think about that now. Whether I remained in the band, or not, really wasn’t on the top of my priority list.  
  
Sure, it’d fucking suck if they kicked me out...at least for me. Truth to tell though, they’d survive without me. Both David and Seb are actually way better singers than I am...the only reason I was the main singer was because I really couldn’t do anything else... at least not as well as the rest of them.  
  
Tossing the sandwich wrap in a trash bin at the corner near the Guild, and brushing the back of my hand across my mouth, I shut those thoughts out of my mind.  
  
 _Time to focus..._  
  
Crossing the street, I entered the Guild grounds and headed for the entrance I had used earlier this morning. The Guild official, Dominic -- the one I’d called a while back -- was sitting at the front desk going through files. I walked up to the desk and leaned my palms on the cool surface, clearing my throat.  
  
“Ahem.”  
  
He glanced up and smiled.  
  
“Ah, Mr Bouvier?”  
  
I smirked.  
  
“Pierre.”  
  
“Pierre, how can I help you?”  
  
“Well, you know I’ve already brought Marly here.”  
  
“Yes...I have her file right here.” Dom tapped the open file that he had in front of him. I leaned over and closed it.  
  
“Good. What I need is one dose of the lethal injection.”  
  
He stared at me, then blinked slowly.  
  
“Of course. When do you need it by?”  
  
Shifting my weight, I replied grimly, “Half an hour.”  
  
“Right. I’ll send a note to the lab techs.”  
  
Nodding, I turned and made my way passed the desk back to her room. Half an hour would give me time to explain everything to her. And, I hate to admit this, but also to mentally prepare myself for what was coming next.  
  
 _ **12:15 PM  
  
Damien’s Flat  
  
* Kav’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
“Damien? Where the hell is Marly? Seriously?”  
  
I leaned over the man huddled on the couch. Damien had his face in his hands, and he was shaking. I’d never seen him like this. Not in the whole time I’d known him...albeit it was less than a year. And, I didn’t trust him...much. But, I was worried; remember I’m a sensitive guy and sometimes I care more than I should, but whatever...I guess I was more anxious about Marly than him. Particularly since I saw her leave with him at the club...and now there was no sign of her in the flat.  
  
“Damien?”  
  
He shook his head roughly. I grimaced.  
  
“Damien.”  
  
He finally lifted his head. His usually bright green eyes, were dull...almost a murky grey.  
  
 _Shite...what the hell is going on?_  He looked at me.  
  
“How’d you get in?”  
  
Sighing, I sat on the edge of the coffee table.  
  
“You left your door unlocked.”  
  
He groaned and swung his legs round, planting his feet on the floor.  
  
“Tell me something, Temperley. What do you know about Marly?”  
  
“How do you mean?”  _What does that have to do with anything?_  
  
“Her relationship with Pierre.”  
  
I tilted my head.  
  
“Uh...”  _Right...what about it?_  
  
“She was his slave.” Damien raised his eyebrows at me. “Did you know that?”  
  
Nodding, I braced my hands on my knees.  
  
“Yeah, she told me.”  
  
“Well...did she tell you he freed her?”  
  
I nodded again.  
  
“Yeah, she did. Why do you ask?”  
  
Damien scowled.  
  
“Because he never actually let her go...all the documentation was false. He did it deliberately by the way too...” He smeared a hand over his face. “Pierre employed me -- I’m a bounty hunter of sorts -- to keep an eye on her here in Perth...Freo...then to...bring her to him when he came to Australia this month.”  
  
I was surprised by that information, particularly that last part (I knew bounty hunters existed...and Damien did seem the type...).  
  
“What? But he’s with someone else?”  
  
Damien snorted. “I know. They’re engaged. I’m not saying that Pierre wants her to take her home to Montreal.”  
  
“Then what are you saying?”  
  
He suddenly looked sick. Turning from me, he stared fixedly at a point on the wall.  
  
“He’s going to...he’s going to kill her.”  
  
“ _What_?”  
  
Damien turned slowly to look at me once more.  
  
“You heard me.”  
  
I slid off the table onto the floor. It felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.  
  
“Fuck.”  
  
“Yeah, shocked me too...”  
  
I glanced at him.  
  
“You had no idea that he was planning...?” I couldn’t finish the question.  
  
Damien almost looked sad.  
  
“No idea.” He breathed deeply. “I guess I should’ve at least suspected that was the case...but when he told me that was what he was going to do...it...fuck it made me sick to the stomach. But, y’know...I’m a pro...I didn’t let him know that it affected me that way.”  
  
“Shite...isn’t there anything you can do to...”  
  
“To what? Stop him? Change his mind? No. Unfortunately, there’s not. What he’s planning is entirely legal. She belongs to him.”  
  
Damien looked down at his feet, digging his toes into the carpet.  
  
“You know...I’ve never felt like this before, Kavyen. Jeeze...I’m usually known for how...ruthless and uncaring I am whenever doing a job...but fuck...Kav...Marly’s something else. I fell for her. Which is a big no-no in my profession. I mean, I was pretending in the beginning...but...I realise now that it’s not...it’s not pretence anymore.” He halted and I actually heard his breath hitch in the back of his throat. I didn’t really know what to say. I was just too shocked by what he’d just told me. About what Pierre was going to do. What he -- Damien -- had done.  
  
Swallowing hard, I suddenly thought about the other guys in Simple Plan. At the same time, my mobile rang. I pulled it from my pocket and looked at the number.  _Chuck._  
  
“Hey, Kav speaking...what’s up?”  
  
 _“Kav, I’m glad I got a hold of you...could you call Damien and tell him we need to see him...and you too...it’s about Marly.”_  
  
“Of course. We’ll be right there.” I could detect the desperation in his tone and knew there was no time to waste. I already had an excellent idea of what he wanted to talk about.  
  
 _“We?”_  He sounded bemused.  
  
“Yeah, I’m at Damien’s flat...where are you guys?”  
  
 _“The Hilton, just got back from an interview...get here as soon as you can.”_  
  
I nodded, even though I knew he couldn’t see me.  
  
“Right. See ya soon.” I hung up and turned to Damien. “Damien, we gotta go to the Hilton...the SP guys need to see us.”  
  
He looked at me a worried expression passing across his face. I rubbed my jaw.  
  
“I don’t think they know the truth...”  
  
He relaxed ever so little and stood, jamming his feet into his sneakers.  
  
“Let’s go then.”  
  
I stopped him before he walked out the door.  
  
“You’ll have to tell them though...”  
  
Damien sighed heavily.  
  
“Yeah...” He shook his head, grabbing his keys. “Come on. Might as well get this over with.”  
  
Nodding, I followed him out of the flat, glancing back once, hopeful that perhaps Marly was there...that this was all a dream...  _yeah right...Damien wouldn’t lie about something like this...I know that much..._  
  
Sighing, I stepped out after Damien and let the door lock shut behind me.  
  
 _ **12:17 PM  
  
The Guild  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
The door swung open. I looked up from my bent knees. Pierre stood silhouetted in the doorway. Trembling, I tucked my knees harder against my chest, resting my chin on top, watching him fearfully. He stepped into the cell the dim light enabling me to take in his appearance.  
  
He’d changed and God...he still looked as good as he always did. I flicked my eyes over the faded dark blue denim jeans up to the black long-sleeved collared-shirt -- and was that a tie? He was wearing a horizontally striped vest -- black and goldish stripes -- over the top to finish the look.  
  
 _Damn he still gets to me..._ He looked devastatingly handsome. Even the darkness of his expression didn’t detract from that. I shivered and looked down unable to meet his gaze. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed, clasping his hands together, resting his forearms against his thighs.  
  
“Marly.”  
  
His voice was so soft I barely heard it. I peered up at him through strands of my hair that had fallen across my face. I didn’t say anything though, just stared at him, waiting. Pierre leaned forward.  
  
“You want an explanation, don’t you?”  
  
I sniffed and brushed the crook of my arm across my face. I didn’t want to cry anymore...it made my nose hurt. I was a little worried I’d make my nose bleed if I kept it up. Pierre moved to kneel in front of me and reached out to rest a hand gently on my shoulder. I cringed and pressed myself into the window.  
  
He didn’t respond to that, sitting back on his heels and crossing his arms over his chest. And when he next spoke, his voice was harder than I’d ever heard it before. There was no feeling, no emotion and all I could do was stare at him, my heart ripping into tiny pieces inside me.  
  
“The Guild has held me responsible for the fact that you didn’t die three years ago. I must fix that. And the only foreseeable way to do that is to get rid of you myself.”  
  
I shook my head desperately.  
  
“No. Don’t do this, Pierre. You...you don’t have to do this...” I looked up at him. He stared back at me stonily. I whimpered. “Please...”  
  
I swallowed hard then voiced the one thing I hadn’t been planning to voice.  
  
“I...I still love you...” He just stared fixedly at me, not a muscle moving in his face.  
  
I slid off the window seat and grabbed at his arms, clinging onto him. He didn’t move letting me lean against him. I pressed my cheek against his chest; his heart was beating steadily. Unlike my own heart that was racing wildly inside my ribcage.  
  
Pierre cast his eyes down at me as I nuzzled into his vest, crying silently. He was holding his body stiffly, obviously not wanting to respond to my need. I could feel the tension in his biceps -- they were solid, hard as steel. But, I eventually felt him relax and he cautiously wrapped his arms around my trembling body.  
  
“Marly...” His tone had changed; there was tender quality in his voice. There was still a brittle edge, yet his voice was softer. “Marly,” he repeated my name; I peeked up at him, his face was set in stern lines. “I have to do this. I can’t go back on my word, now.”  
  
Shivering, I bowed my head.  
  
“I don’t want to die, Pierre...please...” My breath caught in the back of my throat. “Please...” My heart -- what was left of it -- clenched in my chest. More tears sprang to my eyes. “Please...”  
  
I clung tighter to him. He abruptly pushed me away, standing and stepping back from me. I sobbed keeping my eyes to the floor. I couldn’t bear seeing him, or even thinking of him. He was still in the room, but I wanted to pretend that he wasn’t. I guess he was making that kind of easy, because he moved to the door and leaned with his head tilted against it.  
  
I huddled into myself on the floor and just allowed my tears to fall. Crying as quietly as I could. I don’t know how long had passed when there was a soft knocking at the door. I lifted my head. Pierre moved to open the door a crack, and he muttered something to someone standing on the other side.  
  
I sat up, shaking a little as he was handed something. A small container of some kind. He nodded and closed the door again, turning to place the container on the bed. He rested a hand on the lid then looked over at me.  
  
I licked my lips; they were cracked and dry. My mouth was also dry from fear.  
  
“Pierre.” I croaked, coughing a little. “What...what’s that?”  
  
Pierre sat on the bed again.  
  
“This. This is how we’re going to do this.” He smoothed a hand over the stubble on his jaw, staring down at me. “In here...is a syringe...filled with a sodium-based solution of a potent enough dosage to...well we both know what it’s intended to do.”  
  
 _Lethal injection...so that’s how he’s going to kill me..._ I had wondered. I guess it was the most humane way possible. I laughed at that thought. Pierre raised his eyebrows at me. I was hysterical, I realised that now...I shook, my laughter turning into quiet sobs. He stood and approached me.  
  
“No...no...no...don’t do this...”  
  
I scrambled into a corner and cowered into it, wishing he would just go away and leave me alone. Pierre came closer and reached down to pull me to my feet. I tried to push him away; he moved faster wrapping his arms around me, pinning mine down by my sides. Trapping me. I writhed in his grip, trying to get leverage. He hauled me over to the bed and sort of fell so I was pinned under him.  
  
I thrashed beneath him, but he held me easily, grasping my wrists in one hand and pulling them over my head pressing them down into the mattress. I whined, terror gripping me. I continued to fight against him; his body was hard, unyielding. Eventually, I went limp, sobbing hopelessly.  
  
He ran his other hand gently over my face, brushing a thumb tenderly at the corners of my eyes. I blinked rapidly; his face was inches from mine. His deep brown eyes were filled with an emotion that I couldn’t decipher.  
  
I continued to cry, weakly as he slid his hand down to rest against my throat, his thumb massaging the pulse at the side. Then stroking across the vein. I whimpered. He shifted slightly leaning his forehead against mine.  
  
“Please...” I whispered one last time. “Please...I...I love you, Pierre...”  
  
He just stared at me, eyes cold. I shivered, tearing my eyes from his, closing them and just waited...  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **The Hilton  
  
Foyer  
  
12:20 PM  
  
* Third Person p.o.v. ***_  
  
“You sold her out to Pierre? How much did he pay you?”  
  
Damien had just told the band what he’d done and Pat was right in his face, absolutely furious. Damien flinched.  
  
“$1000...”  
  
“Fuck. How could you do that?”  
  
“It’s my job.”  
  
Pat groaned, clenching his fingers in his hair. Kav stood with the others watching on in silence. He and Damien had arrived at the hotel five minutes ago and the five men had practically rushed them asking them where Marly was. And Damien had proceeded to tell them everything -- from when Pierre had called him months earlier to now.  
  
“Jesus. You are such a...damn you played her...you fucking played her...and we thought you actually cared about her...”  
  
Damien ran his hands through his hair a pained expression on his face.  
  
“That’s why I’m here now...because I realised I do care about her. Fuck, this isn’t easy for me to admit, y’know?”  
  
“What? That you made a mistake?”  
  
Damien grunted. “I never make mistakes, Patrick. I just...change my mind about things. Not often...but this is one of the times I realised I don’t agree with what I’ve done.”  
  
Pat growled. “That’s the same as admitting to making a mistake.”  
  
“No. It’s not.”  
  
“Does it really matter what it means?” David butted in. “I think what he’s trying to tell us is that he doesn’t want Marly to die. Right?” The slight man glanced questioningly at Damien. Green eyes snapping, the other man nodded affirmatively. Pat sighed.  
  
“Alright, then what are we supposed to do?”  
  
Damien slowly sank into a crouch.  
  
“There’s nothing we can do...it’s too late to do anything.”  
  
Kav snorted. “What kind of an attitude is that? There has to be something we can do.”  
  
Damien shook his head slowly. The others agreed with Kav though.  
  
“We should go to the Guild...demand...demand that they stop this,” Jeff said emphatically. Damien looked up at him and grimaced.  
  
“Good luck with that.”  
  
Jeff scowled. “We have to at least try.”  
  
Damien heaved a deep breath.  
  
“I guess...”  
  
“You guess?” Chuck snapped. “Christ. You sure don’t act like you give a shit.”  
  
“I care, alright? Doesn’t mean I think there’s anything that can be done to fix it.”  
  
“You’re not even game to give it a go.”  
  
Damien groaned clenching his fist and banging it against his thigh.  
  
“Fine. Let’s go down there. But I can’t promise anything will come of it.”  
  
David shook his head.  
  
“We’re not asking you to promise anything.”  
  
“Good, as long as we’ve got that clear.” He shot them all a sour look then stood and strode out of the building. They stared after him.  
  
“Pessimistic much,” Chuck grumbled. Kav shrugged.  
  
“Guess he’s just not used to making the wrong decisions...”  
  
David bounced. “Whatever...let’s go. Let’s go! No time to waste...we hafta save Marly.”  
  
Jeff couldn’t help but laugh.  
  
“David to the rescue, eh?”  
  
“Of course.” David bounded for the entrance.  
  
The others followed in silence, all of them worried about what was going to or might already have happened when they got to their destination. They all knew what the worst-case scenario would be...but they were all hoping for the best...  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **Freo Guild  
  
12:35 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
Marly lay still beneath me no longer fighting, just waiting for me to do what I was going to do. I could feel her trembling. Looking down at her face, I felt tightness in my chest.  
  
 _Fuck...how could I have thought this was going to be easy?_  
  
Yeah...I know my brain keeps telling me that it is...(and I know I told the guys I  _didn’t_ think it would be easy...but, at the time, I was lying to them...) but my heart feels like a rock sinking in the sea. It felt as if the room was caving in around us, pressing down. I realised I was sweating just as a drop of water landed on the bare skin of her exposed neck.  
  
She whimpered and twisted under me. Biting my bottom lip, I sat up abruptly and moved away from her. She frowned and shifted to look at me.  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
I shook my head. She sat up and moved to hesitantly rest a hand on my cheek. Shivering, I pushed her hand away.  
  
“Don’t touch me.” Voice tight. It almost hurt to speak. Marly flinched as if I’d slapped her. She opened her mouth. I shot her a look. “Don’t say anything, it won’t change anything that’s going to happen.” Making my tone as brutal as I could manage. She trembled and drew back; more tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.  
  
Staring at her, watching as the tears streaked her face, I realised that she was making a liar out of me...that I had lied to myself. I  _did_  care for her. She’d been a part of my life for twelve fucking years...that’s a fucking long time to go without caring about someone...no one could do that unless they were made of stone...and I know I’m not. In fact, all this time, I cared so much I wished that I could tear out my heart and crush it underfoot. Inflict as much pain on myself as I had caused her...  
  
 _Fuck...this isn’t happening...get your shit together, Bouvier...you have to do this..._  I groaned out loud. She tilted her head at me.  
  
 _Tabernack...why the hell did she have to say that she still loved me?_ My mind was still reeling from that. After all the shit I’d put her though this year...she still loves me. I didn’t even think it was humanly possible to love someone who was out to destroy you. I guess that shows how little I know about love.  
  
I stood just to distance myself from her. Staring at the ceiling and breathing hard, I raked my fingers through my hair. I wished this could be easier. That I could just come in, kill her and leave. But when human emotions came into play...they kind of fucked up with any grand plans any person ever had. Obviously, this was not going to be an exception.  
  
I knew I had to make a decision, and soon. Before I’d walked into the room, I’d known what was going to happen, but now I wasn’t so sure. Looking back over to Marly, I could tell she’d given up. She was curled into herself, face pressed against her knees, whispering quietly to herself. Praying or something. Rubbing my neck, I moved to sit back on the bed. This time she didn’t look up.  
  
Keeping one eye on her, I picked up the container and removed the syringe and vial that was inside. Uncapping the needle and attaching it to the syringe, I then plunged it into the seal on the vial and drew in the clear liquid.  
  
Marly still didn’t move as if she wanted to pretend none of this was happening. To be brutally honest, I was wishing I could remove myself from this situation as well. But -- staring at the syringe in my hand -- there was no going back now.  
  
Sucking in a deep, yet quiet breath, I turned and placed a hand on her shoulder, gently nudging her to uncurl for me. She let out a tiny whimper, but made no real protest as I pushed her to lie down.  
  
Moving so I was propped above her body I looked down into her eyes, one last time. They were almost glassy...she had distanced her mind from what was about to happen. I couldn’t do the same...I needed to focus... But my mind wouldn’t let me; images flashed across my mind...past scenes that bombarded my senses ruthlessly.  
  
I shivered, and screwed my eyes shut allowing one particular memory to surface...just to postpone the inevitable a little longer...  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
 ** _Flashback - Random Thoughts_**  
  
 _“I love you, little one...”  
  
I had my lips pressed close to Marly’s ear as she curled against my chest, drifting into a weary slumber. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled her little body closer into mine. We’d just...made love...had sex. I’d taken her virginity...it had been her 18th birthday...a slave’s coming of age. She had been so sweetly afraid, I had been extra careful with her. Tender, slow...but I felt so satisfied afterwards...I was fucking glowing.  
  
And I’d told her I loved her...  
  
At 24...I thought I understood my emotions...and so I took the perilous road toward dangerous love... A love that even then I knew deep down would firstly, not last and secondly not end happily. But...I pushed that sense of foreboding, those thoughts, into the back of my conscious mind until it was as if they’d never reared their ugly heads.  
  
As the months passed she was suddenly so happy...so relaxed around me, that I thought I was doing the right thing by her. Of course, she was supposed to be there to please me, but a part of me believed that she should be happy as well...keep her happy...she’d be more likely to behave herself...not that Marly ever gave me any trouble. She was too scared of me for that. But then she fell in love with me...and that changed everything...  
  
I did some pretty stupid things...and also some good things too...like changing the laws concerning submissive/slaves...and the differences between them...but Marly’s official status never truly changed...she was still a slave...even though I had never told her that...she assumed her status had changed when the laws did. But because they hadn’t...and because of the circumstances, she’d been taken away from me...and that was where I made my biggest mistake..._  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
 _Hah. And now you’re here, Bouvier...to fix it... Fuck..._  
  
I growled in my throat and positioned the needlepoint just above her neck, at the point where the jugular vein was closest to the surface, yet angling it away slightly.  
  
 _Damn..._ it felt so fucking intimate being so close to her like this. Bracing my left forearm right next to her head, I pinned her with my gaze. She sniffled and tore her gaze away closing her eyes tightly. I swallowed hard bringing the needle down, watching as if in slow motion as it penetrated the skin, giving so easily...  
  
I went numb...cold...as I pressed the plunger watching as the fluid left the syringe. For an excruciating minute, her eyes came, back to mine and I watched her vision blur -- or was it mine? And then...as if I had become an automaton, I withdrew the needle and let it drop onto the bed, watching numbly as it rolled onto the floor. And then the room tilted. And it felt as if something had just torn apart inside me...the room spiralled around me and my throat closed.  
  
 _Fuck_...I braced my palms on the bedspread pushing my upper body up off the bed, staring down at Marly where she lay with her eyes still shut, body still quivering. _Fuck...no..._  
  
But it was too late for second thoughts...the deed was done...I couldn’t go back now...and with that thought, I let my body crumple next to hers, succumbing to the welcoming darkness that was dragging me down into a deep, deep nothingness...


	22. “I wish that I could bring you back..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote three endings to this story. 
> 
> This is ending Version One

_**Montreal  
  
Tuesday December 25th, 2007  
  
1 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
They say Christmas Day is supposed to be a joyous occasion. And I guess it would be except for the fact that I’m spending this day alone. Rochelle went home to her family...without inviting me. She says that we need a longer break than the one we originally intended. I believe though that the real reason is that she’s having second thoughts about being with me...about marrying me...and who could blame her.  
  
Who would want to marry a guy who killed the girl who loved him with all her heart and soul...and everything? I know I wouldn’t. Not that I’d marry a guy...but you know what I mean. So, anyways, I’m sitting here sucking on a cigarette, drinking a Jack Daniels, depressed as all get out and watching an interview on Much Music. No, it’s not Simple Plan. We’re still going...if only for the sake of touring our third album.  
  
The way things are going between us though; I don’t think we’ll last for much longer as a band. I think this’ll be our last gasp. I’ve promised myself I’ll enjoy it while it lasts, and at least David has said that he’ll keep all the personal shit out of it. Pat and Chuck still have a go at me every now and again...but it’s only been three months...since...well, just since. Jeff and Seb find it uncomfortable to be near me and so unless we’re performing they avoid me like the plague.  
  
I really don’t get that saying... ‘Avoid one like the plague’. Wouldn’t that be saying that the plague avoids shit? Because it sure as hell didn’t in the Bible...or some such. I guess the saying should be ‘avoid me like I  _have_  the plague...” That’s more what they’re doing. But same as I can’t blame Chelle for deserting me this Christmas, I can’t blame them for acting that way.  
  
I mean they burst into the Guild that night and found me curled up into Marly’s body, shaking. Apparently, I was a fucking wreck. That was after they’d prodded me to wake me up. I think I must’ve been in shock or something. I’d blacked out, that’s all I really remembered.  
  
Anyway, they hadn’t particularly cared about me. Pat had dragged me away from her; David had found the syringe where it had dropped onto the floor and put it back into the container, holding it away from him as if  _it_  had the plague. The others had all crowded around her body obviously trying to find a pulse.  
  
Eventually they gave up and turned on me. You should’ve heard David; he was screaming and crying and he actually hit me a few times. Strangely enough, I’d just slumped to the floor and let him. I deserved it. And I really didn’t have it in me to fight back.  
  
My head had been aching; I guess the strain had finally caught up with me. And my heart...it felt like a lump of lead bearing down in my chest. It still does even now, the alcohol only just numbing the senses.  
  
You know something surprising? Damien was there. He told me why afterwards on the way back to the hotel. His confession was something I hadn’t expected. He’d cared...as well. So...I told him the truth about my own feelings.  
  
None of the others know how close I came to not going through with it. And none of them know that I paid for her funeral either. In fact, her having one was completely my doing. I didn’t show up though, kept up the facade of the callous, uncaring bastard they all thought I’d become. Don’t want to disabuse them of that notion now, do I.  
  
Hah, who am I kidding...I wish they’d forgive me for what I’d done. In the end, it hadn’t been easy...it had hurt me...and well I definitely don’t feel any happier because of it. Y’know how they say you don’t know you had a good thing until it’s gone? Well, that’s how I feel, and I’m not talking about Rochelle. Sighing, I changed channels aimlessly, then after a second switched the TV off and flung the remote onto the floor.  
  
I needed to get out of the house, go for a walk. Even if it was below zero outside, and I’d probably freeze my nose off. Grabbing my warmest jacket and a scarf, I quickly rugged up and hurried out of the apartment. Jamming my gloves on -- they were in my jacket pockets -- I wrapped my arms around my body as I let myself out onto the cold, deserted street and began to walk.  
  
 _Fuck...it’s freezing...who the fuck decided going for a walk was a good idea?_  
  
I grunted, watching as my breath billowed in front of my face in a visible cloud. No one was out; there were mostly young families in this street and they’d all probably be inside having Christmas lunch...opening presents. The only present I wanted...I shook my head hard to dispel those thoughts and found myself walking toward the Montreal Cemetery.  
  
They buried her there...well...I paid for the plot...once again without telling anyone. But the guys along with the Maddens and Kav Temperley -- he came for the funeral...brought his wife with him -- did the honours of laying her to rest.  
  
I heard Benji blubbered like a baby...great company for David. Those two could fill a swimming pool with their tears. Sensitive guys.  
  
Walking through the gates I made my way through the many graves -- there was my grandma’s...next to my grandpa -- and there was Marly’s...tucked into a corner with a small white marble headstone.  
  
I frowned faintly; there was a very fresh bouquet of flowers resting at the base. The person who had put them there was not too far away. I glanced around me, the skin on the back of my neck prickling. And then I saw him...  
  
“Jake?”  
  
I hadn’t seen him for a long time...not since that time he came to see me before the band left for Australia. That felt like another time...ancient history. The older man stepped out from the shadows and moved to stand next to me, inclining his head in greeting.  
  
“Pierre.”  
  
His eyes were sad, tired-looking. Folding his arms and obviously unable to meet my gaze he stared at her headstone.  
  
“She was special...you know? The first that I ever kept tabs on after leaving the Guild.” He breathed deeply. “I never thought it would end like this. Not for her...I thought...”  
  
He paused glancing sideways at me. My throat had closed, my breaths quickening in the icy air. I managed to lift an eyebrow at him. He looked back at the grave.  
  
“I thought she’d be one of the lucky ones...”  
  
I swallowed hard and tilted my head back to stare at the sky. Clouds scudded across the soft blue of the sky, contrasting against the darkness in my heart. Passing the tip of my tongue over my dry lips, I whispered my response.  
  
“She should’ve been...” I dropped my chin against my chest an awful sense of despair and guilt welling from deep inside my gut. “But...I took that away from her.”  
  
Trembling, I clenched my gloved hands inside my jacket pockets.  
  
“And I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that...”  
  
There was an awkward silence and then Jake commented, hesitantly, “At least she’s in a better place now...”  
  
I actually groaned, as if I had been wounded and sank to my knees in front of the grave. Peering up at Jake I shook my head angrily.  
  
“I should’ve fucking provided her with that...I...I should’ve given her, her freedom...I shouldn’t have...” I couldn’t go on; crumpling into myself, I finally gave into the emotions pouring out of my heart.  
  
“Fuck...fuck...I’m sorry, little one...I’m so sorry...”  
  
I sobbed -- no tears, just dry sobs that caught in my throat and threatened to choke me. Wouldn’t it be justice if I died from crying too hard? And then when I came back into the next life...I’d probably come back as a cockroach...because of what an asshole I’d been...  
  
“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry,” I repeated over and over, banging a clenched fist against the ground. Stopping I leaned my forehead on the gravestone; it was cool against my skin. Trembling, I let my eyes travel over the letters etched into the white marble -- gold lettering...it’d cost me a small fortune.  
  
 _Here lays the most beautiful soul to walk this earth, now she goes home to be with the Angels in Heaven..._  
  
I believed in Heaven...even though I also believed in Karma and reincarnation...but right here...right now...I knew I would probably never get to see her again...not in any life. I’d destroyed my chances there.  
  
“Marly...”  
  
Whispering against the marble, my one fervent prayer was that wherever she was she would have the heart to forgive me. Because I knew forgiveness was not something, I was going to find here on earth. At least that was how it felt...I breathed deeply and sat up. I noticed that Jake was still there, standing silently in the background. I looked back at him.  
  
“I really did love her...” I heard the words leaving my mouth without really registering them until a moment after. “God...” I smeared a hand over my face. “Fuck...fuck...I _loved_  her, Jake...”  
  
Standing and swaying, I felt a searing pain rip through my heart.  
  
“I fucking loved her, Jake...and I killed her.”  
  
Pulling my jacket closer round my body and shoving my hands deeper into the pockets, I shivered. It felt like sandpaper scraping my throat raw as I whispered, “I’m so fucking stupid...I refused to acknowledge that truth...”  
  
Jake shook his head firmly.  
  
“People make mistakes every day...”  
  
“Yeah...but this was not a mistake. I loved her...but I forced that emotion away...I told her I didn’t love her...told her I never had, told her I’d lied when I said that I loved her...but even that was a lie...” I groaned. “I lied about lying...I mean isn’t that some kind of double jeopardy.”  
  
He shrugged. “Maybe you were just confused.”  
  
Shaking my head, and rubbing the corners of my eyes, I said tiredly, “Makes no difference how I was. She’s dead. And that’s the end of it.”  
  
I hunched my shoulders and turned away from the grave. This chapter of my life was at an end. There was no point in dwelling upon the past, but I knew I would never, could never, forget. Marly had been an integral part of my life, and she would always be in my heart. No matter what had happened she was there...had always been there.  
  
A chill wind picked up and swirled dead leaves around our feet. Stomping my feet a little to warm up, I looked at Jake.  
  
“Wanna go get a coffee?”  
  
“Sure. I’ve no where to be.”  
  
I smiled weakly.  
  
“I’m visiting the family tonight...tradition we get together for a night time meal...” I tucked my chin against my chest. “First Christmas without...”  
  
“Yeah.” Jake said then clapped a hand to my shoulder. “C’mon, Bouvier. Let’s go thaw out.”  
  
He turned away and headed for the exit. I stayed for a moment longer; I could feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes then slowly finding their way down my cheeks. I didn’t wipe them away. Just let them come in a steady trickle. Then after what felt like an eternity, I wiped at my face, turned and walked away.  
  
 _ **Monday New Year’s Eve, 2007  
  
11:50 PM  
  
Fremantle Night Club**_  
  
“Ten minutes!” Chuck yelled out to me. I lifted my drink off the bar in acknowledgment then turned to Kav who sat next to me, nursing a cold beer.  
  
“Ready for a new year?”  
  
Kav snorted. “Yeah, we start touring in a big way. You?”  
  
I sighed.  
  
“We’re just taking things a day at a time. But, in my gut I think this’ll be our final leg...our final large tour.” Lifting the can to my lips, I sipped slowly. “I’m thinking of moving here permanently.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
I nodded.  
  
“I can’t stay there anymore...too many memories.” My throat tightened. He looked at me, eyes narrowed. I propped my face in my hands. “I was stupid, Temperley. So fucking stupid.”  
  
He snorted.  
  
“Don’t let me ruin that perception of yourself.” I shot him a look. He sighed. “Don’t be so down about it. Anyways, you’d better get your arse back up on stage for the count down...”  
  
I blinked. Typical Aussie attitude...brush everything aside like it doesn’t even matter. But I knew he was grieving as much as everyone else who had known Marly... Grunting, I finished off my beer, and pushed away from the bar to walk back to the stage.  
  
I moved as if in a dream. I still couldn’t believe the guys hadn’t kicked me out of the band after what I did. They’d been so distraught...so devastated. I’d been so sure they’d kick me to the kerb and never speak to me again. Seeing them all standing up there, waiting for me, still dependent on me as the singer...it made me feel guilty for all the shit I’d pulled throughout the year.  
  
I guess that’s why when Chuck and Pat had decided to schedule a New Year’s tour in the Southern Hemisphere I’d dropped all my other plans and jumped to take the chance.  
  
You would’ve thought I’d stay in Montreal and try to start my life anew...but I knew that couldn’t happen there. I left Rochelle by the way. Not just back in Montreal...but forever. I had an epiphany...I didn’t need her. I’d never needed her, never really loved her. I only loved the idea of her. Marly was the one I had truly loved...  
  
Shaking that thought from my mind, I climbed up onto the stage and grabbed the microphone from its stand. I looked over to the clock: 2 minutes. I held the mic to my lips and grinned at the crowd of people who were waiting, hanging on tenterhooks for the New Year. Holding out my right arm, I made a come hither motion to the people in front of the stage.  
  
As I did, my eyes fell automatically to the tattoo I’d had done recently on the inside of my wrist --  _her_ name permanently etched into my skin. I blinked and breathed deeply, casting my eyes across the crowd.  
  
“Everyone having a good time?”  
  
They screamed. I grinned more.  
  
“Everyone ready for a new year?”  
  
They all cheered. I laughed, shakily and held up my hand keeping an eye on the clock.  
  
 _Just a few more minutes...hold yourself together for a few more minutes..._  
  
“So am I! You know what my number one New Year’s Resolution is? It is to always look at the bright side of life and to spend time with those I care about the most!”  
  
I saw David start a little beside me, then he came up and draped an arm around my shoulders. He leaned close to murmur in my ear.  
  
“You wanted to know if I forgave you for what you did to Marly...well...I do...just wanted you to know that...” I trembled, my eyes going misty. Then clenching my jaw, forcing back my anguish at least for a moment longer, I held up one finger and smirked.  
  
“12 seconds to New Year! ...11 seconds...count with me!”  
  
The crowd joined me yelling out the count down.  
  
“10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!”  
  
As the overwhelming sense of jubilation at the dawning of a new year washed over the crowd, I tilted my head back and screamed into the microphone, body shaking. And, I felt tears streaking unbidden down my face - my heart had finally broken.  
  
I heard shuffling beside me as David put his bass aside and grabbed me pulling me off the stage and leading me to the bar. I slumped on a stool and buried my face in my hands as he yelled to the bar tender to get me another beer. Seconds later he shoved a cold can in my hands.  
  
“Drink up.”  
  
I shook my head.  
  
“I don’t want...”  
  
“Pierre. You need it. Drink. I’ll go back up and sing for you, okay?”  
  
I sniffed and wiped the back of my left arm across my nose. He looked at me sadly and leaned a hand on my shoulder.  
  
“You’ll be right, buddy...just drink up...”  
  
I nodded and leaned my cheek on my arms watching as he walked back to the stage to join the others. Picking up his bass, he moved to stand at my mic stand and leaned in close to talk.  
  
“This is going to be our final song for the night...I hope you all had a good night tonight.” He nodded to Chuck. “This song is called, Perfect World.”  
  
My heart constricted and as the first chords echoed through the club, I buried my face in my arms. All there was left for me to do was succumb to my sorrow -- and so as David sang words that were perilously close to my heart, I broke down and cried.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
 _I never could have seen this far  
  
I never could have seen this coming  
  
It seems like my world’s falling apart  
  
Why is everything so hard?  
  
I don’t think that I can deal  
  
With the things you said  
  
It just won’t go away  
  
In a perfect world  
  
This could never happen  
  
In a perfect world  
  
You’d still be here  
  
And it makes no sense  
  
I can just pick up the pieces  
  
But to you this means nothing  
  
Nothing at all  
  
I used to think that I was strong  
  
Until the day it all went wrong  
  
I think I need a miracle to make it through  
  
I wish that I could bring you back  
  
I wish that I could turn back time  
  
Cuz, I can’t let go  
  
I just can’t find my way  
  
Without you I just can’t find my way  
  
In a perfect world  
  
This could never happen  
  
In a perfect world  
  
You’d still be here  
  
And it makes no sense  
  
I can just pick up the pieces  
  
But to you this means nothing  
  
Nothing at all  
  
I don’t know what I should do now  
  
I don’t know where I should go  
  
I’m still here waiting for you  
  
I’m lost when you’re not around  
  
I need to hold on to you  
  
I just can’t let you go…  
  
In a perfect world  
  
This could never happen  
  
In a perfect world  
  
You’d still be here  
  
And it makes no sense  
  
I can just pick up the pieces  
  
But to you this means nothing  
  
Nothing at all  
  
You feel nothing  
  
Nothing at all…_  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song credit: Perfect World - Simple Plan


	23. "I wish that I could turn back time..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote three endings to this story.
> 
> This is ending Version Two

_**Fremantle  
  
Tuesday December 25th, 2007  
  
1 PM  
  
*Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
I haven’t spoken a word for three months. Not to anyone. My voice just won’t work. It’s like my voice box has been paralysed. I heard Paul tell everyone when we were at Church recently that I was probably just grieving...often unexplainable things like loss of one’s voice occurs when someone is grieving. I just wished I had no reason to be sad...  
  
But...everyday since...since that day in September...I’ve been mourning. I guess though if it weren’t me...it’d be everyone else. At least, I’m alive to be able to mourn. But...God...Pierre... My throat chokes up at even the thought of what he did. What he was going to do. What he ended up doing. I still have nightmares...  
  
The despair in his dark eyes as his gaze locked with mine before I looked away... The anticipation of being pricked...but nothing coming...the sound as his body slumped beside mine...the realisation I was still breathing...opening my eyes and seeing Pierre laying unconscious next to me...my desperate attempts to find a pulse...and then pulling his arm out from beneath his body and seeing the needle mark...  
  
Tears filled my eyes and I buried my face in my pillow. He’d spared my life...but in the process taken his own. I’d thought my heart could not become any more broken...but that was enough to shatter my already battered soul. And now, that is the reason why I haven’t spoken for so long; I’m afraid if I try I’ll implode...I’ll destroy my fragile grasp of life.  
  
Every day I struggle to get through the mundane routines of life. It’s difficult when I can’t talk to people. The Temperley’s visit...and Damien...he’s been so good to me. That was a surprise in itself. He came back...took me back...and begged my forgiveness for everything that had happened. I couldn’t tell him that there was nothing to forgive...he was only doing his job...but...I couldn’t say the words...my voice just escaped me every time. So, all he could do was accept that I wasn’t getting mad at him, or pushing him away.  
  
Anyway -- it’s Christmas Day and Damien just suggested I have a rest before our guests arrive. He won’t tell me who they are. I know Kav and Sheri; and Joel and Stu are coming over. And Damien invited the worship pastor, Paul, as well. But he says a few other people are coming as well. I’d just taken it all in then escaped to our room to curl up on the large Queen bed. The warm summer sun streamed through the open window, thawing me out from the inside.  
  
It was relaxing just lying here. Thoughts moved lazily through my mind as I drifted in a state of semi-drowsiness. I thought about the fact that I hadn’t been back to Montreal since everything happened; it would be cold there and I didn’t think I could handle that on top of everything else. I thought about singing in the Church Choir. It was odd...I was still able to sing...but I couldn’t talk.  
  
I thought about the beautiful sunsets over the sea...I thought about the magpies that brought their babies down onto the small courtyard of Damien’s apartment block. So many different thoughts...blocking out the memories that I was not ready to embrace.  
  
I rolled over and reached out to the drawer on the bedside table. Pulling it out I rummaged around inside until my fingers closed around a crumpled photo. Pulling it out, I stared fixedly at the image on it, frozen in time. A tight lump formed in my throat, and the tears that had gathered in my eyes spilled over and streamed down my face.  
  
_Pierre..._  
  
I traced a finger over the image of his soft smiling face. His deep brown eyes twinkled out at me. It was an old photo...at least a year old. He was standing outside the apartment where we had lived together. We’d been mucking around with Pat’s camera having a good time...Pierre had been posing for me.  
  
That photo was the only one where he hadn’t been pulling a face. His hair was shorter than it was all this year. He had looked so amazing...he had been so amazing. I’d been so in love with him.  
  
I tossed the photo onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. I still was in love with him. I always would be. Nothing could ever change that. No matter how many other people I had relationships with Pierre had set a precedent. He was my benchmark, and I don’t think any one could ever reach it.  
  
Sure, this past year things have happened that made me doubt the way he felt about me, but in the end I think he had been untruthful, not just to me, but to himself. The look in his eyes at the last moment...there had been so many different emotions. But, I think he still felt something for me at the last gasp...because if that weren’t the case I would probably be dead today.  
  
Closing my eyes, I took a long deep breath, and then let it out slowly. Moments after as stillness settled over me the doorbell rang. I lifted my head. David’s ever-cheerful voice wafted down the hall.  
  
“ _Deck the halls with boughs of holly - fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...tis the season to be jolly - fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la..._  Hey, Damo! Where’s Marly...she needs to have some Carols sung to her...”  
  
I giggled into my pillow just as he dashed into my room; obviously, not waiting for Damien to tell him where I was.  
  
“Marlz Bean!”  
  
He squealed and threw his body onto the bed next to mine. I cracked up laughing. I couldn’t help it; he always made me laugh no matter how shitty I felt. He joined in and grabbed me around the waist hugging me tight. I kept on laughing until it hurt too much and I gave way to a sudden bout of tears. My laughter changed to a soft sobbing and I sort of crumpled into David’s slender body. And just shook in his arms.  
  
“Marly...” His voice was gentle. “Hun...hey...David’s here...you’ll be okay now...”  
  
I peered out at him, shyly, unable to say anything. Just gazing questioningly into his face. He grinned and leaned close to press his nose against mine.  
  
“Yep. You will be,” He said as if I’d spoken out loud. I giggled through my tears. He smiled and tickled my sides. “You need to come out and see the others. They’ve done nothing but talk about you...on the flight over...in the cab...it’s insane.”  
  
I blinked back tears, my emotions beginning to overwhelm me. David tilted his head at me.  
  
“We’ve got Christmas presents for you too...” He paused then shifted pulling something from his back pocket. “Here...this was Pierre’s...” He pressed a yellow and black guitar pick into my hands. “Thought you might want to keep it...to...to remember him by...”  
  
I snorted. But still words would not come. David shook his head, gently. It didn’t seem to bother him that I wasn’t saying anything. It was as if he understood my expressions without the words.  
  
“I know you still loved...love him.”  
  
I trembled and tucked my chin into my chest, closing my fingers around the pick. He reached out to touch my cheek lightly. Tears began to sting at my eyes. I sniffled. Parting my lips, I worked my tongue for a moment and then suddenly it was like a dam had burst inside me. I let out a loud moan then gasped.  
  
“Why did he...why did he have to kill himself...oh God...” I crumpled and just allowed my sorrow to pour from my heart. “Why...why?”  
  
David lay down next to me and wrapped his arms around my shaking body once more. Holding me, letting me cry into his chest. Eventually I stopped crying and just lay still in his arms. Sniffing, I peered up into his face.  
  
“Take me to see the others?”  
  
David smiled.  
  
“Sure thing.” He shimmied off the bed then scooped me up into his arms, bridal style. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me from the room, down the hall, and into the living room.  
  
I had no idea what it would be like seeing them all again. I think maybe I was expecting some awkwardness, uncertainty of how they should act. After all...I was alive...and their best friend was dead. But, when David carried me into the living room, the next I knew four men were embracing me and laughing and crying and talking all at once. It took several moments for things to settle; but once I had room to breathe, I was able to really look at them.  
  
They still looked the same, even after three months. I hadn’t seen them since that day at the Guild and that felt like a lifetime ago. They all looked pretty good actually. Pat had his camera out -- what’s new? -- and was filming the little reunion.  
  
“Hey, Marly...say hi to the camera.”  
  
I waved smiling faintly.  
  
“Hey there, Shirley...”  
  
“Shirley?” David snorted. I poked his arm.  
  
“Yeah, as in... ‘Shirley this video will make its way onto You Tube some day.”  
  
“Uh...don’t you mean ‘surely’?”  
  
Pat rolled his eyes.  
  
“Jeeze...if you put an accent on Shirley it sounds like ‘surely’...”  
  
“Yeah, an Aussie accent,” Damien added dryly as he walked passed carrying a couple of beers. Pat swiped one of them as the other man brushed passed.  
  
“Thanks, Damo.”  
  
Damien smirked.  
  
“Pleasure’s all mine.”  
  
I giggled and flopped onto the sofa.  
  
“So? Decided to spend Christmas here instead of New York like you usually do?”  
  
David glanced at me. “  
  
We were invited to a Christmas gig here...a new thing that hasn’t been seen in Australia before. Sort of like the Snow Jam’s back home in Montreal.”  
  
“Yeah, but without the snow,” Pat pointed out.  
  
“Of course, Captain Obvious.” Chuck retorted as he slumped down on my other side. I smiled and leaned my head back.  
  
“When is it?”  
  
“Tonight.”  
  
“Tonight? Sheesh, doesn’t that mean you should be at sound check now?”  
  
Chuck lifted an eyebrow at me.  
  
“We’re on our way. Thought we’d come by here...see if you wanted to come. Eskimo Joe are performing...and so are GC...thought maybe you’d want to see Benji and Joel.”  
  
I blinked and looked down at the floor, remembering the way Benji had been with me during the time they’d been here earlier in the year. So gentle, so caring...I shook my head and smiled tightly.  
  
“Sounds great.”  
  
David bounced.  
  
“You have to come. I’m singing lead vocals.”  
  
As those words left his mouth the true impact of Pierre’s death hit me. Life as we all knew it was over...the man that we had all loved in our different ways -- because I knew the guys had loved him in the brotherly sense they all had with each other -- was gone. That also affected the band in a different way. Simple Plan was now a band with four members and that meant the dynamics would be different, particularly on stage.  
  
I looked at David and smiled sadly.  
  
“Bet you do a good job...”  
  
He grinned and nodded, but then he looked down and muttered.  
  
“It’s not the same though...”  
  
I leaned my head on his shoulder.  
  
“I know what you mean...but...I still think you’d do a great job.”  
  
“Come to the gig and see for yourself.” Chuck said as he stood up. I turned my head to look up at him.  
  
“Sheesh, you’re in a hurry.”  
  
He shrugged. “Gotta get there for sound check.”  
  
I nodded and stood as well.  
  
“Well, let me just grab my purse and I’ll come.”  
  
“Yay!” David clapped his hands and bounced to his feet, hugging me around the waist. I giggled and pried his arms away.  
  
“Let me get my stuff, David...”  
  
He smiled sheepishly and stepped back letting me go.  
  
**_Perth  
  
Burswood Dome  
  
2 PM_**  
  
“You know you’re worse than David when he’s getting ready.”  
  
Pat swung an arm over my shoulder as we stood watching the guys setting up for sound check. I rolled my eyes at him.  
  
“I only went to grab my purse...”  
  
“...And brush your hair, and put some bling on and put some makeup on...need I go on?”  
  
Giggling, I shook my head.  
  
“You’ve got a point there.”  
  
“You and Damien look happy.”  
  
The change of topic was so abrupt that it made me jump a little. I glanced sideways at him.  
  
“That’s probably because we are...well, at least we’re comfortable together.”  
  
“You don’t love him.” Pat’s tone was matter-of-fact. I looked away.  
  
“He’s a good person, Pat...”  
  
“But you don’t love him.”  
  
I licked my lips and shook my head slowly. Pat squeezed my shoulder gently.  
  
“You gotta move on, sweetie...Pierre’s not coming back...”  
  
I shivered.  
  
“I know, Pat. But...no one could ever really take his place...here...” I pressed my hand to my heart. A voice from behind me chuckled.  
  
“You don’t need a man to make your heart whole, hunny...”  
  
We looked back over our shoulders. Benji was walking over, arms folded across his chest. I swung around and ran at him, leaping into his arms.  
  
“Benj!”  
  
He laughed hugging me tight.  
  
“Hello, someone’s been missing me, eh.”  
  
I buried my face against his shoulder, clinging to him. Pat chuckled.  
  
“Looks like it, Madden.”  
  
I nodded against his shoulder; he rubbed my back in slow circles. Then he set me back down and made me look into his face.  
  
“Hey, Marlz. I’m serious. You don’t need a man to make you happy.”  
  
“I don’t?”  
  
Benji shook his head.  
  
“Nope. I suggest doing what you’ve been doing...what you were doing before all this...shit...happened. Going to Church...concentrating on building your relationship there...and maybe if you meet a guy, that’ll be a bonus.”  
  
I peered in to his sincere face and smiled.  
  
“Sound advice, eh?”  
  
He shrugged.  
  
“It worked for me.” I shoved his arm.  
  
“Yeah, but you haven’t met any guys just yet have you?”  
  
Benji snorted and ruffled my hair.  
  
“We have a comedian. That’s good...laughter is great medicine too.”  
  
I giggled and leaned into his body closing my eyes. He sighed softly and just held me. I muttered into his chest.  
  
“I’ll just take each day as it comes, for now...” Benji nodded, then his voice rumbled in his chest as I felt him move his head to speak to Pat.  
  
“When’re they set for?”  
  
“Third act. You guys?”  
  
“Final band of the night.”  
  
“Cool. Want me to film some for you?”  
  
Benji stroked the back of my head lightly as he answered.  
  
“Sure thing.”  
  
I lifted my head, rubbing at my eyes. He smiled down at me.  
  
“You okay there, sweetie?”  
  
Shrugging, I extricated myself from his arms and moved closer to the stage to watch the guys. David saw me and waved from where he was standing at his microphone setting his levels. He had his bass slung over his left shoulder. I waved back and sat on the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees. He grinned and pointed at me, speaking into the mic.  
  
“Hey there, hot stuff...this one’s for you.”  
  
I giggled as he bounced and sang jokingly into the microphone, his voice echoing around the arena.  
  
“ _Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques,  
Dormez vous? Dormez vous?  
Sonnez les matines, Sonnez les matines  
Ding Ding Dong, Ding Ding Dong_...”  
  
Benji and Damien joined me on the floor.  
  
“Brother John, eh?”  
  
I giggled more.  
  
“Typical David. Always making fun.”  
  
Benji draped an arm around my shoulders, hugging me.  
  
“Yeah. Well, guess it beats crying.”  
  
I dropped my head.  
  
“Yeah...it does.”  
  
Damien noticed the way the tattooed bassist was holding me and smiled wistfully.  
  
“Y’know, I was thinking something.”  
  
I glanced at him, and so did Benji.  
  
“What’s that?”  
  
“You should think about going back to Montreal.”  
  
I blinked then turned my head to look at Benji.  
  
“What do you think?”  
  
He shrugged.  
  
“Whatever you think, hun.”  
  
I shook my head.  
  
“No. What do you think, Benj?”  
  
He cocked an eyebrow at me.  
  
“All of a sudden my opinion matters?”  
  
I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Yes. It always did, actually.”  
  
Benji’s lips curved in a wry grin.  
  
“What are you saying?”  
  
“She’s saying she likes you, butthead.” Pat wandered over with his camera in his hand. We both looked up at him. Damien had moved back, keeping out of the conversation. Benji blinked.  
  
“What? But...”  
  
I turned to him, frowning faintly.  
  
“But what? Aren’t I allowed to like you?” Even though that wasn’t really, what I’d meant anyway. Benji actually stammered in reply.  
  
“Buh-but...y-you’re Pierre’s chick.”  
  
Pat growled. “Pierre’s gone if you’ve forgotten, Madden.”  
  
He groaned and smeared his hands over his face repeating what he’d already told me.  
  
“Marlz, you don’t need a man in your life to make you happy.”  
  
I sighed. “Who said anything about needing a man? I don’t need chocolate to make me happy. I still have to have it.”  
  
His lips quirked wryly.  
  
“So, I’m a ‘pick me up’ then?”  
  
I slapped him on the arm.  
  
“Benji, I’m trying to be serious with you.”  
  
He grinned. “I can’t be serious, it’s not in my nature.”  
  
“Right. Look, I just want to know what you think.”  
  
“I think you should get with David. He sings songs to you.”  
  
I looked at him. Benji chuckled gently.  
  
“In other words, sweetie...I think you need to go home.”  
  
Pat sat on my other side.  
  
“Come back with us, to Laval...” He reached out to run a hand through my hair. “We miss you...you could come and just...sort yourself out.”  
  
That sounded so tempting; still I was afraid that going back would trigger painful memories. I said as much and Pat nodded in understanding.  
  
“Sure, that’s a high possibility. But, it’ll be your choice what you do with that.”  
  
I hunched up my shoulders. He smiled.  
  
“No rush. We’re not even thinking of home until this tour is over.” Pat squeezed my arm and stood with a groan. “Well, the guy’s will be ready soon. Gig starts in a couple of hours.” He looked down at me and winked. “You take care, ‘kay? I’ll see ya down in the barrier at 7...”  
  
I nodded and waved as he walked away. Then I let Benji pull me to my feet.  
  
“Come on, we’d better clear the way for the security staff.”  
  
Damien followed us backstage where we waited for the concert to begin.  
  
* * * * *  
  
I stood gazing up at the stage from my special vantage point. Having a VIP pass, I was permitted to stand on the inside of the security barrier with the security staff. Pat stood next to me, his camera held firmly at eye level so he wouldn’t miss any of the action. This was what we’d both been waiting for, for a long time. Simple Plan, back in action...revised line-up, new songs, different covers...better than ever.  
  
Well at least that was what I was trying to reassure myself. The last I knew would be difficult to approach, because Pierre was no longer fronting the band. A yearning entered my heart as I watched the guys take their positions onstage. David stood right at the front, bass slung into place over his shoulder, a wry smile dancing on his lips. Leaning into his microphone, he lifted his bass pick into the air and yelled out to the crowd.  
  
“LET ME HEAR YOU, PERTH!!”  
  
They obliged him with a scream. I didn’t, I couldn’t. Tears were streaming unbidden down my face. He squinted and peered down at me, more than a hint of sadness in his eyes as they met mine. But he continued talking to the crowd.  
  
“We are Simple Plan! Hope you’re having a great night so far!”  
  
The crowd screamed again. I trembled then felt as Pat moved closer to me and draped an arm over my shoulders, supporting the camera steadily in his other hand. He smiled at me then looked back up at the stage. I leaned into his side and kept my eyes riveted on David’s slight figure as he began to play. And as he began to sing, I felt my throat choke up, a clear memory of Pierre singing to me once upon a time...backstage at a gig.  
  
Patrick turned as I crumpled and caught me in his arms, rocking me gently as the music rang out around us and I just sobbed and sobbed, letting it all go...knowing that in the end everything would be alright...I would get through this...after all...I was alive. I was alive.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
_**Sometimes I feel the fear of  
  
Uncertainty stinging clear  
  
And I can’t help but ask myself how much  
  
I let the fear take the wheel and steer  
  
It’s driven me before  
  
And it seems to have  
  
A vague haunting mass appeal  
  
But lately I’m beginning to find that  
  
I should be the one behind the wheel  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
With open arms and open eyes, yeah  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
I’ll be there…  
  
So if I decide to waiver  
  
My chance to be one of the hive  
  
Will I choose water over wine?  
  
And hold my own and drive  
  
Oh oh oooh…  
  
It’s driven me before  
  
And it seems to be the way  
  
That everyone else gets around  
  
Lately I’m beginning to find that  
  
When I drive myself my light is found  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
With open arms and open eyes, yeah  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
I’ll be there…  
  
Would you choose water over wine?  
  
Hold the wheel and drive…  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
With open arms and open eyes, yeah  
  
Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there  
  
I’ll be there…**_  
  
_Drive - Incubus_  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


	24. "Leave the past in the past..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote three endings to this story
> 
> This is ending Version Three

_**Tuesday December 25th, 2007  
  
Montreal  
  
Chuck’s Basement  
  
6:30 PM  
  
* Pierre’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
 _Unbelievable. Abso-fucking-lutely unbelievable._  I’ve been reminded once again of what a total fucking asshole I’ve been all year. How you might ask? Well, guess who Chuck’s ‘guest of honour’ is at our annual Christmas get together. I have to tell you, it killed me on the inside when I saw her.  
  
Goddamn, she looked so beautiful, her long black hair fell down her back in shimmering waves, and the tight black jeans she wore hugged her curves in just the right places. She was gorgeous...and she was no longer mine.  
  
 _Who the fuck am I talking about you wonder? Her...Marly..._  
  
“Pierre?”  
  
I blinked. She was standing right in front of me, gazing up into my face. And I saw tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. Was she really standing there, talking to me? I didn’t think I deserved this...I had no right to even speak to her. Not after what I’d done to her. I stepped back and shook my head.  
  
“Marly...you don’t want to talk to me right now...”  
  
I turned away and walked into the small office, closing the door behind me. I leaned against the solid wood of the door and fought against the emotions roiling deep inside me. Guilt, hate, anger, sorrow...they were all waging a war inside my head and my heart.  
  
The guilt was for all the terrible things I had done to Marly over the past year...culminating in her near-death. The hate was directed at myself for exactly that same reason.  
  
The anger...the anger was directed at the Guild system that had driven me into this situation in the first place -- yeah, I know most of the decisions I made after the fact were my own...but you know how it is, everything starts from somewhere.  
  
And the sorrow was for the loss of a relationship that I should have had with her...could have had with her...still wanted to have...  
  
You’re probably wondering why I even care about the last since I have Rochelle. But the thing is, I don’t have Rochelle. We...decided, mutually, that we weren’t right for each other. Broke off the engagement and everything. She went home to Toronto. That’s where her family are. And so now, I’m happily single.  
  
 _Yeah right...happy my fucking ass...I don’t think I’ve felt any less happy than this before...in fact I feel like shit._  
  
Someone knocked on the door. I leaned harder against it.  
  
“Pierre?”  _Marly...again..._  
  
“Yeah...?” I responded wearily, smearing a hand over my face.  _I really fucking need to shave..._  There was silence on the other side of the door, then.  
  
“Can I come in?”  
  
Breathing slowly, I steeled myself before moving away from the door.  
  
“It’s open.” The door cracked open and she slid into the room, letting the door click shut behind her. I propped my ass against the desk in the corner of the office and stared at the floor. I could hear her walking over to me, and then stopping several feet away. Her bare feet fell just in my line of vision.  
  
“Pierre.”  
  
Her voice...saying my name; it sent tingles shivering down my spine. My stomach twisted itself into knots.  
  
“Pierre, what happened three months ago?”  
  
 _Hah...straight to the point, eh?_  I lifted my head slightly. She was also staring at the floor; her hands clasped nervously in front of her. I licked my lips.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
She trembled. “Why am I still alive?”  
  
A tremor raced through my body and I groaned. Bracing my hands against the edge of the desk, I stretched my arms.  
  
“I...I didn’t administer the full dose...” I knew that wasn’t really what she was asking. I knew she meant what made me change my mind, but I couldn’t tell her that, because I didn’t even know.  _Well...other than the fact that you fucking love her..._  
  
Marly looked at me then straight in the eyes. It was like a bolt of electricity hit me right in the heart. Shuddering I tore my eyes away and kept on talking before she could ask any more questions.  
  
“I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t take back what I’d already put into your system...but I stopped...I stopped...hoping that you’d survive...” Passing my tongue across my lips, they were cracked, dry. “Obviously, you did...or you wouldn’t be here asking me this...”  
  
She nodded then looked at the floor again. I scratched the back of my neck.  
  
“So...um...how’re you?”  
  
Marly shook her head and moved to sit on a chair propped against the wall. Hesitating, I took a few steps toward her. She flinched. I stopped and stood still unsure of how I should approach her.  
  
“Stupid question, eh?” I was fucking nervous. I hate that. She looked up at me then. The pain in her eyes was almost too much to take. I answered my own question. “Yeah...pretty stupid...” Then I paused. “Bet you hate me...”  
  
“No.”  
  
I blinked. “No?”  
  
Marly laughed a little and leaned back on the chair.  
  
“I can’t hate you.”  
  
I swallowed hard and looked away. She stood and walked to stand in front of me.  
  
“Pierre...”  
  
I looked down tucking my chin into my chest. Starting slightly when she reached up to rest a hand on my cheek. Her hand was so smooth against the roughness of my stubble. I shivered. She left it there and stepped closer.  
  
“Pierre...I...” She stopped then did something I wasn’t expecting. She sank onto the floor, on her knees, and leaned her forehead against my right leg. Peering up at me through her lashes, she had never looked any more submissive in the whole time I’d known her.  
  
“Marly...what are you doing?”  
  
She trembled and lowered her eyes leaning into me more. I frowned and crouched down to her level, brushing a strand of hair from her face.  
  
“Hey...I asked you a question...”  
  
Her eyes lifted to mine for a split second then she actually smirked.  
  
“What? Did I say something funny?”  
  
She shook her head. “I just wanted to see how you’d react.”  
  
“That’s why you smirked?”  
  
“No, that’s why I didn’t answer your question.”  
  
I took a deep breath. “Marly...seriously...what are you doing?” She trembled and tilted her chin down, whispering so softly I almost didn’t hear her reply.  
  
“I...I need you, Pierre...”  
  
I blinked rocking back on my heels. “You...what?”  
  
She looked at me then. “Take me back.”  
  
“Take you  _back_?” To say I was stunned would be a fucking understatement. “Marly...you can’t be serious...”  
  
Her bottom lip quivered. I backed away from her, shaking my head.  
  
“Marly...I can’t...I don’t...”  
  
“You don’t, what?” She was trembling.  
  
 _Fuck...why is she doing this to me?_  I groaned and smeared my hand all over my face and dragged my fingers through my hair.  
  
“I...I don’t think that’s a good idea.”  
  
“Why not...?” Marly stared at me. I avoided looking at her.  
  
“We’re not right for each other...our relationship could never work...you’ll always be a sub in my eyes...and I’ll always be dominant. You need someone who’ll treat you like an equal.”  
  
She shook her head. “No.”  
  
“No. What do you mean, no?” I glared at her. Perhaps being hostile toward her would make her realise that I wasn’t the man for her. She shivered then looked away.  
  
“I need someone who loves me.”  
  
 _Fuck, she just had to say that, didn’t she?_  Clenching my jaw, I turned my back on her.  
  
“I was going to kill you. I said I didn’t love you. How can you feel that way...after all that?”  
  
Her voice was quiet, yet tense when she answered from behind me.  
  
“Because, I just do. I can’t explain it...Pierre...I...”  
  
Something inside of me snapped and I swung back round to face her.  
  
“ _Jesus_ , what the fuck do you want from me, Marly?”  
  
There were tears streaming down her face as she stared at me, an awful need etched into her face.  
  
“Need, Pierre. It’s not what I want that counts. It’s what I  _need_.” Her voice quaked. “You’ve always known what I needed...no one else does.”  
  
I shook my head in denial.  
  
“Get out...I...I can’t do this...just...get out...” I turned away from her again; folding my arms across my chest, hoping that was enough of a signal for her to leave me alone. She didn’t move, remaining on the floor, and staring up at me.  
  
“Pierre. I’m not going anywhere. At least not until you give me a real reason.”  
  
I didn’t respond. She persisted.  
  
“I know you broke off your engagement with Rochelle.”  
  
Still I said nothing.  
  
“Damn it, Pierre...I’m not asking to be your girlfriend.”  
  
 _Huh?_  “Huh?” I finally looked at her from the corner of my eye, lifting an eyebrow. “You’re not?”  
  
Marly slowly shook her head. I scowled.  
  
“Isn’t that, like, totally against your Christian values?”  
  
She blinked at me. I sighed.  
  
“Do you realise what you’re asking me to do?”  
  
She just stared at me, her dark eyes weary. I rubbed my cheek.  
  
“What if I was to say I still don’t love you?”  
  
“You’d be lying.”  
  
I snorted. “How can you be so sure of that?”  
  
Marly laughed but then quickly sobered as she answered sadly.  
  
“If you were telling the truth, I’d be dead.”  
  
 _Well, she’s got you there, Bouvier..._  I walked over to the chair she’d sat on a moment ago and sat on it. Looking at her, I waited. Marly turned, still on her knees and looked back at me. We stayed there just staring each other out until; suddenly she jumped up and shook her head in frustration.  
  
“Oh, forget it. You don’t even want me anymore...this is just stupid...why the hell would you want me? Even as a slave? I mean...you obviously had a reason for wanting me out of your life... Guess I was hoping you still cared some for me...maybe...maybe you just spared me because you didn’t want everyone to hate you.”  
  
She was rambling, not really talking to me and probably not expecting a response. So, I didn’t give her one, just watched as she stopped talking and darted passed me out the door. I let her go. But as soon as the door clicked shut behind her, it felt as if she had left a gaping hole deep inside me.  
  
 _Fuck...go after her...go now...you want her so fucking much it hurts...go on...get up...don’t be such a fucking pussy..._  
  
I didn’t move, just slumped on the chair and closed my eyes.  
  
* * * * *  
  
 _ **7:15 PM**_  
  
When I came out of the office, I scanned the basement until my eyes settled on the sofa where Marly was curled up against Damien. She appeared quite happy to be snuggled up against him. Seeing her there almost made me think that what had just happened moments earlier had never happened. She looked comfortable, relaxed, at peace. At least to someone who didn’t know her too well. Yet, I knew her intimately.  
  
I found a place to park my ass on top of one of the amps sitting in the corner of the basement. Pat appeared at that moment balancing several boxes of pizza in his arms.  
  
“Hey! I got food!”  
  
I snorted. Pizza, not your usual Christmas fare...but we’d all had our big Christmas ‘dinners’ at lunchtime with our families. This was just a little nighttime gathering that we usually had every year, where we often got drunk and forgot what actually went on. Well, at least I know David forgot...he’d drink the most. I glanced across at Marly again; I never forgot what went down on those Christmas nights...but maybe this year I would.  
  
 _Unless..._  
  
I shook my head squinting at her. She met my gaze, her cheeks going pink and turning away to nuzzle into Damien’s chest. Sighing, I stood and went over to Pat to help him with the pizza. Of course the guy didn’t miss a fucking beat, because when I was standing next to him he muttered at me, his tone sharp.  
  
“You should stop looking at her like you want her...she’s not yours anymore.”  
  
I shot him a hard look, not bothering to respond as I grabbed a slice. Biting down into it -- pepperoni and mushroom, great stuff -- I grunted around it and made to walk back to the amp. Pat grabbed my left arm and pulled me back.  
  
“I’m serious, Bouvier...look at her she’s happy. Don’t fuck that up for her.”  
  
I jerked my arm away and hissed back.  
  
“You have no fucking idea how she feels. If you’d heard what she’d said to me before you wouldn’t be so sure.”  
  
Pat blinked.  
  
“What?”  
  
I opened my mouth to answer but then Marly was standing there. I clamped my mouth shut. She looked at me then at Pat.  
  
“Hey...you going to hog all that, or can I grab a couple of slices.”  
  
Pat grinned at her; my stomach churned. And as he handed her several slices and she walked back to snuggle against Damien, I felt a sudden pang of jealousy. Pat being the ever-observant guy that he is, commented sarcastically.  
  
“She sure looks like she wants you.”  
  
“Fuck you, Pat. She went down on her fucking knees and told me she still needed me,” I spat angrily. Then, after grabbing another slice, I spun on my heel and stormed out of the basement.  
  
 _ **8:30 PM  
  
* Marly’s p.o.v. ***_  
  
“Marly?”  
  
I was standing in the bathroom, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Blinking, I recognised Pat standing behind me. I bowed my head and closed my eyes, breathing hard.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“You okay? We were all enjoying ourselves...and suddenly you disappeared...”  
  
I shivered. We had indeed been having a good time. David had found an old song book filled with Christmas Carols and with Jeff on acoustic we’d spent some time just singing and making up the words where we’d forgotten them. As David had gotten drunker, the renditions had become more insane until I’d been crying in mirth. But then I’d noticed that Pierre hadn’t been there the whole time and for some inexplicable reason I’d felt sick in the heart. I’d had to get out of there...and so here, I was in the bathroom trying to calm my nerves. But I didn’t tell Pat any of that.  
  
Instead, I shook my head and mumbled.  
  
“Think there was something off in that pizza...”  
  
Pat moved to stand next to me and rubbed my back softly.  
  
“Um...I don’t think so. Something else is going on isn’t it?”  
  
I looked at him askance.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Pierre told me what you said to him.”  
  
I trembled. “You must think I’m stupid...after what he did...”  
  
Pat smiled sadly.  
  
“You can’t help loving him.”  
  
I looked down again.  
  
“Still stupid...”  
  
“Maybe. But love does that.”  
  
I leaned against the basin and whispered.  
  
“Do you think we belong together?”  
  
Pat tilted his head.  
  
“You know honestly...I think you do. Sure, I might think he was a real shit for what he did to you...but maybe you’re both ready to move past that?”  
  
“I need him...” my voice shook. I peered at him. “I mean...Damien’s been so good to me...but...he’s not...”  
  
“He’s not Pierre.”  
  
I nodded then looked down again. Pat sighed, braced his palms on the vanity, and cocked his head so he could look me in the eyes.  
  
“Well, then...go after him, Marlz...if you want something...you gotta go get it.” He smirked. “Anyways...Pierre kinda left...you might have to run to catch him.”  
  
I jerked away from the basin.  
  
“He left?”  
  
“Half an hour ago. I kinda pissed him off.”  
  
“Shit...” I blinked at him, then smeared my hands over my face and through my hair, then dashed for the door. “Wish me luck!”  
  
I heard Pat chuckle behind me as I raced for the front door and skidded out into the freezing outside air. But I was too hot on the inside to even notice. I carefully made my way down the driveway to the sidewalk and peered left then right. There he was, sitting on the kerb, smoking a cigarette.  
  
I halted and breathed deeply, steeling myself, knowing that I had to remain strong even if he rejected me again. I slowly walked down the path toward him; crossing the grassy verge I cautiously sat next to him, wrapping my arms round my knees. He didn’t acknowledge me, staring into the distance, flicking ash from the end of his smoke. I took a deep breath.  
  
“Those things are bad for you...”  
  
Pierre looked at me then, the corner of his lip curling slightly. But he didn’t say a word. I swallowed hard; I wanted to say just the right thing, but I couldn’t find the words so I just stared at him. He lifted an eyebrow.  
  
“Need something?”  
  
I shivered and hugged myself tighter. Pierre had put on a jacket...I was only wearing a pair of jeans and a short sleeved blouse. He watched me as he removed his cigarette and stubbed it out against the concrete, dropping it into the drain. I made no comment and looked down, hugging my upper body tightly, goose bumps rising along the skin on my arms.  
  
“Cold?”  
  
Pierre removed his jacket and slipped it round my shoulders. Then he pulled me into his arms and gently rubbed mine to warm them. For a mere, second, I went stiff in his hold, but then I relaxed back into his muscular frame. It felt right being there. I’d never fitted against anyone else like this.  
  
I tucked my chin into my chest and hesitantly reached across with my right hand to trace the ink on his left arm with my fingertips. Trailing them over his well-muscled forearm and back up to curve over his firm bicep. Pierre shivered and propped his chin against the top of my head. I saw his breath billowing softly, visibly above me and out into the atmosphere.  
  
“So...” After several moments in silence, Pierre tilted his head and brought his lips close to my ear. “Need something?”  
  
A tremor raced through my body at the gruffness of his tone.  
  
“You know what I need...you don’t have to ask.”  
  
He traced a finger along my jaw and turned my face to his. His expression was solemn, his deep brown eyes filled with myriad emotions.  
  
“Tell me...” a whispered command. My body responded, my heart fluttered in my chest and my stomach turned. Fear gripped my heart, but this was a fear that felt comfortable...right. I lowered my eyes.  
  
“I need you...please don’t turn me away...I’ll...I’ll be yours...if you’ll have me?”  _Yeah, I know that sounds kinda corny...but...sometimes it’s the only way to express love..._  
  
Pierre stroked the back of his knuckle against my cheek.  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
I didn’t hesitate.  
  
“Yes. I’m sure.”  
  
“Well then...” Pierre sat back and scanned me with his eyes, up and down, examining my appearance. “Where’s the choker I bought you?”  
  
I looked at him, slightly surprised --  _it was going to be that easy?_  “I haven’t worn that for ages...”  
  
“Little one, that’s not what I asked. Where is it?” His voice was firm, as he stared directly into my eyes. I blinked, then slipped my fingers into my pocket and pulled it out. I’d stopped wearing it two years ago when...well just when. But, I always kept it on me...as a reminder of what was...and probably what I wished could be again...and now...  
  
He took it from my hand.  
  
“Turn around.”  
  
I shivered, but did as he instructed, sliding my hands under my hair and lifting it away from the back of my neck. Pierre placed one hand against the side of my neck for a moment. Then he slid the gold and black choker around my neck, the small pendant settling against the hollow of my throat as he secured the clasp. He slid his hands to the curves of my shoulders and pressed a light kiss to the nape of my neck.  
  
“There...”  
  
I started to move away, but he tightened his grip on my shoulders and trailed his lips to the back of my ear.  
  
“Stay.”  
  
I stilled and closed my eyes, tingles moving over my skin where his lips had touched. Pierre nuzzled softly as he slid his hands down and around my waist, pulling me up, and back, so I was sitting on his lap. He pressed his lips to my neck and nibbled gently then spoke softly against my skin.  
  
“I’ve been thinking about what you said to me...and...” He nuzzled gently, “...I realised that even before you said anything, I’d been thinking about doing something about us.” He nipped the delicate flesh at the base of my skull. I whimpered. He licked lightly, soothing the sting. “I just didn’t think you’d ever be willing to come back to me...”  
  
He slid his right hand up my body and pressed his palm against my throat, stroking tenderly. I swallowed hard. There was restrained power in his touch; he could so easily squeeze...and... but, no, his touch was so gentle...so careful.  
  
He whispered, sadly, “Not after what I did...”  
  
He continued caressing my throat. I breathed as steadily as I could. He moved his hand to my chin so he could turn my face to his.  
  
Looking down into my eyes he murmured softly, “But...I knew that whether you were willing or not...I had to get you to come back to me somehow.”  
  
He smirked, his dark eyes twinkling.  
  
“Looks like I don’t need to worry about that anymore.”  
  
I shook my head.  
  
“No, sir...you don’t.” Then I frowned, a thought coming to me. “Why didn’t you say ‘yes’ to me before?”  
  
Pierre smiled tightly.  
  
“Guess you shocked me. Trust me...I do want you. All of you.” I picked up on the possessiveness in his tone and felt chills racing through my body. He noticed and caressed my neck lightly with his fingers. Then, smiling, he brought his mouth over mine in the lightest of kisses -- he tasted of cigarettes and lemon. Then pulling his mouth away, he shifted me off his lap, standing.  
  
“Come on. Let’s go back inside.” He held his right hand out to me. Pressing my fingers to my lips, I looked up at him.  
  
“Together?”  
  
“Yes.” Pierre looked at me. “If you’re going to be mine, it has to start now.” I licked my lips. He raised his eyebrows and kept his hand out. “No going back.”  
  
I stood and let him take my hand. He pulled me close against him and steered me back inside. My heart was pounding rapidly in my chest, apprehension gripping my heart. I hate to admit this but I was worried what the others would think. As we headed back to the basement, I actually froze at the top of the stairs. Pierre looked down at me.  
  
“Marly...”  
  
I quivered. “I...I’m scared, Pierre...”  
  
He touched his fingertips to my cheek.  
  
“It’s going to be all right, Sweet Pea...they’ll understand...” Pierre leaned his forehead against mine. “Do you trust me?”  
  
Staring deep into his eyes, I knew that this time I could. The emotions in his eyes were sincere, nothing hidden in their depths. I nodded, certain that this was right. He smiled and slid an arm around my waist.  
  
“Let’s do this, then.”  
  
* * * * *  
  
“Marly, are you sure this is what you want?”  
  
David grimaced at me, rubbing at the back of his neck. I nodded.  
  
“Yes. I’m sure.”  
  
He tilted his head at me.  
  
“Pierre hasn’t...forced you...?”  
  
“No. David, I need him.”  
  
Pierre walked up behind me and draped an arm round my waist as he clutched a bottle of Jack in his other hand.  
  
“She’s sure, David.”  
  
David glared at the bigger man.  
  
“Right. Of course. And I’d believe you...not.”  
  
Pierre growled. I placed a hand on his right bicep; it was tense, hard.  
  
“Pierre...it’s okay...”  
  
He looked down at me his expression taut. I leaned up on my toes and pressed my lips close to his ear. “It’ll be okay...” Pierre groaned and turned to pull me close against him, hands on my hips, burying his face in my hair, effectively ignoring the other man. David opened his mouth to make some comment, but Patrick came over then and grabbed him, pulling him away and speaking roughly to him.  
  
“Leave them be. She needs him...and even though it pains me to say it...Pierre needs her. They’re right for each other.”  
  
David made to protest; but I smiled when Pat cut him off, his tone earnest.  
  
“It’s going to be okay...they’ll be fine.”  
  
David snorted.  
  
“Fine, whatever.” He sighed and looked over at us. “Whatever makes them happy...”  
  
Pierre lifted his head.  
  
“This...makes me happy.” Then he wrapped an arm around my waist and hugged me close. “Let’s go home, Sweet Pea...”  
  
I tilted my face up to his and smiled.  _Home...that sounds so much better coming from you..._  I nodded against his chest.  
  
“Let’s go home...”  
  
* * * * *  
  
 ** _Bouvier Apartment  
  
9:45 PM_**  
  
I groaned, arching against Pierre’s touch, as he trailed the calloused fingertips of his left hand around my naked breasts. He held both of my wrists above my head, pinned against the mattress, in his other hand. Whimpering, I could feel my pussy moistening as he pinched my left nipple gently between his thumb and index finger.  
  
“Please...” I gasped, as his grip tightened. Pierre smirked, his face inches from mine.  
  
“Please what, little one?”  
  
“Please...I need...” I trembled and lifted my hips against his. He was still fully dressed. I was completely naked. When we’d arrived back at the apartment the first thing Pierre had insisted upon was that I had a shower and then when I’d stepped out, he’d grabbed me and brought me into the bedroom, laying me down on the bed, on top of my towel. Then he’d proceeded to touch me, relearning every inch of my body.  
  
Pierre growled and his fingers clamped like a vice around my nipple. I let out a strangled cry. And dropped my hips back to the bed, trembling.  
  
“Please what?” He repeated, his tone harsher. I whimpered.  
  
“Please... _Master_...I need...”  
  
Pierre’s voice softened.  
  
“What do you need, Sweet Pea?”  
  
I looked up into his eyes, tears prickling at the corners.  
  
“I...I need you, Master...please...”  
  
“You need me?” There was a tremor in his voice. I blinked at him.  
  
“Yes, sir...I do...”  
  
Something wet dripped onto my face. I tilted my head. He blinked rapidly and swore roughly under his breath.  
  
“ _Merde_...” He brushed the back of his left hand across his eyes. “Fuck...”  
  
“Master...?”  
  
Pierre leaned his forehead against mine.  
  
“Little one...you need me?” His breath hitched. I nodded against him. He took a deep breath releasing my wrists and sitting up. “Don’t move.”  
  
I obeyed, watching as he removed his clothes. Peeling the vest and shirt away from his body, over his head, I couldn’t help but stare at his upper torso. I swear he looked stronger...more muscled than when I’d last seen him unclothed. He’d obviously found time during the band’s recording schedule to workout. He caught me looking and smirked.  
  
“Like what you see?”  
  
I blushed and averted my gaze. He chuckled, standing so he could remove his jeans and boxers. Dropping them all on the floor, he leaned over to grab my choker from the bedside table, and then crooked a finger at me.  
  
“Come here.”  
  
I sat up and crawled over to him, pulling my knees under my arse, lowering my eyes. Pierre smiled and traced his thumb lightly over my lower lip. Then he slipped the chain around my neck, flicking the tiny golden padlock with his fingers, before securing the clasp. Hooking two fingers beneath the chain, he pulled me closer to the edge of the bed and propped his forehead against mine.  
  
“Look at me, little one.”  
  
I trembled and lifted my eyes to his; they were burning hot, desire and need, shining deep within them. Our breath mingled between us, and I felt chills all through my body.  
  
“You need me?” He repeated, voice deep, rough, yet caressing. I opened my mouth to answer, but he prevented me from doing so. Crushing his, lips against mine in a bruising embrace, keeping his fingers tucked into the choker, holding me in position.  
  
I whimpered into his mouth. He kept his mouth locked over mine, as he slid his other hand over my shoulder and down my side. After a moment, the brutal kiss ended and he pulled his head back. Bringing his hand to rest on my hip, and twisting the choker slightly, he whispered against my cheek.  
  
“Hands behind your back, little one...”  
  
I brought my hands behind my back, grasping my left wrist tightly with my right hand. Pierre licked his lips, trailed them over my cheek, and murmured roughly.  
  
“You know how this works...not a sound until I enter you...”  
  
I muttered in acquiesce eyes lowered, body trembling. Pierre kissed my cheek softly then took a step back, trailing his fingertips from my face, down my neck, to the hollow of my throat. They lingered there for several moments, toying with the padlock charm. Smiling, he traced them down my breastbone, circling one breast then the other. My breath hitched at the sensations he was arousing deep inside me. My pussy clenched and I moaned involuntarily.  
  
Pierre’s eyes narrowed, his fingers went to my left nipple and pinched. I gasped and arched against him trying to ease the sudden pain that shot through my upper body. He maintained a tight grasp staring deep into my eyes. I bit my lower lip to stop from crying out again. His other hand still gripped the choker and he tightened his hold pulling me a little closer.  
  
“Don’t do that again, Sweet Pea...”  
  
I pressed my lips together tightly, and nodded. He relaxed his hold on my breast and dipped his head close soothing the pain with his warm lips, sucking gently. Quivering, I clenched my jaw to stop the moans from escaping. Pierre smiled, pleased.  
  
“Good girl.” He drew his head back and went back to trailing his hand down my body. I swallowed hard; sweat beginning to trickle from my hairline. Pierre watched me as he brought his hand down, cupping my pussy. I trembled, biting my lip harder, tasting the metallic tang of my blood. Smirking he shifted his grip, sliding his thumb against my slit. I shuddered and jerked my hips slightly. But managed to remain silent.  
  
Pierre chuckled. He repeated the action. Gritting my teeth and closing my eyes, I concentrated on not making a sound. My pussy clenched and I felt a trickle of pre-cum slide down my inner thigh.  
  
“Hmmm...you’re getting wet...” Pierre licked his lips. “Like that do you?”  
  
I nodded, my breaths coming quicker, breasts heaving slightly. He smirked more, and dipped his thumb inside me. I gasped, clenching around the invading digit. He smiled then drew it back brushing it against my clit. I was unable to prevent the groan from escaping. He growled and grabbed it between his thumb and forefinger, squeezing hard. My groan turned into a strangled scream and I shook in his grip.  
  
“Uh...uh...ahhh...let go...please...”  
  
Pierre looked down into my eyes.  
  
“I told you not to make a sound.”  
  
I sobbed.  
  
“I’m sorry, Master...” He tilted his head, expression softening. Releasing his grip, he pulled his hand away and lifted it to stroke my face gently. I leaned into his touch, breathing rapidly. He murmured softly.  
  
“It’s okay, little one...just concentrate, okay?”  
  
I nodded.  
  
“Good girl...” He slid his hand back down and circled his thumb over my clit. I gritted my teeth, shaking. Pierre smiled and very slowly slipped a finger inside me. “Almost...”  
  
Quivering, I closed my eyes, panting. He twisted his finger as he pushed it into the second knuckle. The firm digit brushed against my g-spot; I strained not to make a sound. Pierre flicked his thumb across my clit.  
  
“It’s okay, Sweet Pea...”  
  
I let out a tentative moan. He chuckled and pressed down hard on my clit at the same time twisting his finger. I groaned, pussy clamping down hard around his finger.  
  
“Oh God...please...”  
  
Pierre’s smile widened and he began to move his finger slowly inside me. I gasped, body shaking, moving my hips in sync with his strokes. He leaned forward to press his lips against mine, slipping a second finger inside my rapidly juicing pussy. Moaning into his mouth, I let my tongue flicker against his.  
  
He growled deep in his throat. That sent vibrations through my whole body; my pussy clenching rapidly around his fingers. He angled them so each time they pushed inside me they grazed roughly against my spot, and he continued to rub my clit in slow circles with his thumb. The combined sensations were sending electric sparks through my body. I whined desperately, bucking against his touch.  
  
“Please...I...I’m gonna come, Master...”  
  
Pierre suddenly stopped and made me look at him.  
  
“Not yet.” He nipped me on the nose and pulled his fingers out of my pussy. I whimpered. He shot me a look. “Get back on the bed and lie on your back, little one.”  
  
I moved quickly, my pussy clenching at thin air, protesting at the sudden lack of contact. Lying down, I reached up to grasp the bed head, looking up at Pierre. He moved to kneel above my body, sliding his hands up to rest on my elbows. My breath caught in the back of my throat when I felt his erection pressing against my inner left thigh.  
  
“You feel that, little one?”  
  
I nodded, trembling. He was huge, hard, so ready to take me. I moaned in anticipation. Pierre grinned and squeezed my arms.  
  
“Leave them there okay?”  
  
“Yes, Master...” Gripping the bars tighter, I waited, holding my breath. Pierre smirked, spreading my legs with his own and sliding up to stroke his engorged length against the outer lips of my pussy. I gasped, pussy pulsing.  
  
“Please...”  
  
“Please what, Sweet Pea?”  
  
“Please...please fuck me, Master...”  
  
“Fuck you?” Pierre lifted an eyebrow, and then bent down to nip my collarbone. Nuzzling against my neck he whispered. “Alright then...but only because you asked nicely...” And then he filled me in a single stroke. Gasping, I clamped down around him; he was so big inside me.  
  
“Oh...oh...ah...God...”  _Amazing_... He fit perfectly inside me. I never could get used to the feeling of being so completely filled, stretched out. I pulsed around him and moaned. “I’m close...”  
  
Pierre held deep inside me, staring down into my face.  
  
“No. I want you to finish with me.”  
  
Clenching around him and biting my lower lip, I nodded. He stroked my face then slowly began to move. I lifted my hips to meet his thrusts; he pinned them down and shook his head at me.  
  
“Let me...”  
  
I groaned and clenched around his cock. He thrust deeper, angling his cock so it grazed against my clit each time he moved against me. Lifting my hips, he thrust harder, faster, grunting as he took me, sealing our bond to each other. Squeezing my eyes shut tight, I moaned, clenching and unclenching around his steely length. He pounded into me, slamming my body into the bed as he sped up, snarling.  
  
“I’m close...remember...wait for me...”  
  
I whined, a death grip on the bed head, body shaking, on the brink of orgasm. Pierre grunted and thrust sharply, angling his cock against my spot.  
  
“Ah...Master...please...”  
  
Pierre quickened his thrusts, and then he stiffened above me as he shoved all the way up inside me.  
  
“Now...now...” He thrust up sharply, releasing. I screamed as I climaxed.  
  
“ _Ahhhhhhhh...Pierre!!_ ”  
  
He moved hard against me as I came, body quaking. I sobbed from the intensity of my come. Pierre slowed and touched my face gently; I took that as a signal that I could let go of the bars; wrapping them around his neck and panting as I relaxed beneath his strong body. He smiled and kissed the end of my nose. Then he breathed deeply, cradling my face in his hands.  
  
“I love you, little one.” He smiled into my eyes, his expression tender, whispering against my lips. “My beautiful sub...my amazing girl...I love you so much...”  
  
I trembled and felt tears welling in my eyes. After everything that had happened, I’d almost given up hope that Pierre would ever truly say and mean those words. But, here now...our bodies still connected I knew that he meant every word. Knew that this time nothing would ever separate us...everything was going to be all right.  
  
And sure, I know this sounds kind of cliché...but I’ll say it anyway: Pierre loved me. And that was all that ever mattered.


End file.
